Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 22, 2015 15:12:02 GMT -5
Maybe I need to get divorced in order to find guys to date....Now I just need to figure out who to get married to to test this theory. Lol! Trust me...I'd rather not date than ever get married again!
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 15:25:04 GMT -5
[It was hard for about 4 days. Then I realized he is a douche and I can do better. I made a plan, got a house and moved on with my life. I'm not one for pity parties. You are amazing! If I was strong like you, then I probably wouldn't have ended up in a such a bad relationship. Instead I spent years trying to save a doomed relationship convinced that I could somehow fix it (fix him). Although, then I wouldn't have my little munchkins, so I can't really regret anything.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 22, 2015 15:31:45 GMT -5
It's interesting that women with kids seem to be a turn off b/c whenever DH out and about with the kids he has women swarm all over him. He said he would have babysat his nephews more often if he'd known babies were such chick magnets. Even happens to my dad! I ran into my parents at the Farmer's Market and had Gwen with me. She was about 4 months old at the time. My dad volunteered to hold her while I got out my billfold. This huge swarm of women came down upon him cooing over his new baby. He turned beet red and muttered it was not his baby, it was mine and handed her off to me like a hot potato. I told him he should be flattered that he apparently looks young enough to be a new daddy. yeah, it's a crappy double standard IMO. Tina - thanks! And also I would have probably pulled an Angela Bassett (put all his good clothes in a trash can, pour gas on them, then light them on fire). No no no, I can think of things more devious (and less traceable) than that...
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 22, 2015 15:37:46 GMT -5
[It was hard for about 4 days. Then I realized he is a douche and I can do better. I made a plan, got a house and moved on with my life. I'm not one for pity parties. You are amazing! If I was strong like you, then I probably wouldn't have ended up in a such a bad relationship. Instead I spent years trying to save a doomed relationship convinced that I could somehow fix it (fix him). Although, then I wouldn't have my little munchkins, so I can't really regret anything. Lol! Sadly looking back I put up with some shitty treatment that I shouldn't have so i guess I'm not all that strong. But once you have kids you try to work through stuff. But when it was time to move on I did. Not to say that I didn't have my moments of crying (more about losing my family unit) but overall I was ok
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2015 15:53:36 GMT -5
How awful! That must have been an incredibly hard situation to deal with, especially over the holidays. I wish you well for the future and, if my math is correct, you can't even be 40 yet if you just attended your 20th high school reunion. Plenty of time to date and have fun! Oops...It was my 20th wedding anniversary but 25th high school reunion. I must have screwed the two up It was hard for about 4 days. Then I realized he is a douche and I can do better. I made a plan, got a house and moved on with my life. I'm not one for pity parties. The hardest part is the kids. I feel bad for them. He doesn't much want to be a father anymore, either. He must be having one hell of a mid life crisis! Wow. I still have problems.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 16:08:42 GMT -5
You are amazing! If I was strong like you, then I probably wouldn't have ended up in a such a bad relationship. Instead I spent years trying to save a doomed relationship convinced that I could somehow fix it (fix him). Although, then I wouldn't have my little munchkins, so I can't really regret anything. Lol! Sadly looking back I put up with some shitty treatment that I shouldn't have so i guess I'm not all that strong. But once you have kids you try to work through stuff. But when it was time to move on I did. Not to say that I didn't have my moments of crying (more about losing my family unit) but overall I was ok The family thing is why I tried so hard for so long. At the time it seemed really important for the kid's sake to work things out. Although, as things progressed and he got worse, then I realized it was far more important for the kid's sake to get the hell out. I think growing up with an absent father is far better than growing up with an unpredictable drug addict as a father.
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Apr 22, 2015 16:17:32 GMT -5
Are there any guys left on this Board? I feel outnumbered. I don't post during the day, so that may be part of it...
Anyway, I think I said it before, it is easier for women. We (guys) have to show you our bank accounts...well, not really, but you know what I mean, and that we are responsible and have a future...you just have to be pretty and hopefully have a brain.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 22, 2015 16:19:31 GMT -5
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 16:48:57 GMT -5
I know its been a few pages, I called him on it and he said he that he was sorry and that he should have told me.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 16:55:13 GMT -5
I had a few flings, in no way was it ever considered dating. Dating is dating, hooking up is hooking up. These were never potential long term partners. Your idea of dating is obviously different than mine, so be it, but it wasnt dating.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 16:56:34 GMT -5
I know its been a few pages, I called him on it and he said he that he was sorry and that he should have told me. So it was his wife? Is he even divorced if he was posting pics last month with the two of them together?
Yeah, he should have told you.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Apr 22, 2015 16:57:50 GMT -5
It's interesting that women with kids seem to be a turn off b/c whenever DH out and about with the kids he has women swarm all over him. He said he would have babysat his nephews more often if he'd known babies were such chick magnets. Even happens to my dad! I ran into my parents at the Farmer's Market and had Gwen with me. She was about 4 months old at the time. My dad volunteered to hold her while I got out my billfold. This huge swarm of women came down upon him cooing over his new baby. He turned beet red and muttered it was not his baby, it was mine and handed her off to me like a hot potato. I told him he should be flattered that he apparently looks young enough to be a new daddy. This is totally true. Whenever my coworker is out with his kids women fawn over him. I guess it's something about him being able to take them out in his own even when they were babies.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 17:03:42 GMT -5
I had a few flings, in no way was it ever considered dating. Dating is dating, hooking up is hooking up. These were never potential long term partners. Your idea of dating is obviously different than mine, so be it, but it wasnt dating. To me that is still dating once you are older than ~25. Hooking up is going home with some guy you met at a party in college. If the guy can't or won't buy you dinner first, then I would consider that hooking up.
IMO dating doesn't indicate the seriousness of the relationship, just that you are going out & spending time with men with some sort of romantic intent, whether it be for one night or long term. It doesn't have to be serious nor exclusive.
So yeah, you've been dating a long time as far as I'm concerned.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 17:04:54 GMT -5
When he talked about his ex wife he was talking about the mother of his children. He said his wife had been married two times since their divorce and that should have been my opening to ask him if he had married again. I don't really have a series of questions I ask people I ask them if I can put in a conversational way, and I am very good at that. I do look at court records if I happen to get a county of divorce. Keep in mind that a lot of men do like to talk about themselves, not in a bad way but they do talk a lot. I can get them to go back 20 years if they are so inclined to keep talking. So he let his last name slip, I fb his name and he had changed his profile to him and Jessica as recently as mar 15.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 17:10:02 GMT -5
He said his wife had been married two times since their divorce and that should have been my opening to ask him if he had married again. The guy is an idiot. You shouldn't have to ask a question to get very important info like I just split with my wife last month. You guys have been talking for weeks, he should have found a way to slip that in. That is like not mentioning you have kids & then using the excuse, "well you didn't ask".
So Jessica is/was his wife? And he was posting photos of her mid march? And then start talking to you early april? That is way too fast.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 17:12:07 GMT -5
Dating is going out on dates. I mean I know what you are getting at but my frame of mind at those times were a warm body not in any way shape or form a relationship that requires time and energy.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 22, 2015 17:13:57 GMT -5
Yes I agree. We have been texting since early April, that is way to early. Why is that men seem to want to jump right in. Jessica is the current wife. I am not sure how old the photos are just that he posted a pic of him and her on march 15. I didn't wait over a year to be kind of ready to actually entertain the thought of a real relationship only to get someone on the rebound, screw that shit.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 22, 2015 17:21:08 GMT -5
Yes I agree. We have been texting since early April, that is way to early. Why is that men seem to want to jump right in. Jessica is the current wife. I am not sure how old the photos are just that he posted a pic of him and her on march 15. I didn't wait over a year to be kind of ready to actually entertain the thought of a real relationship only to get someone on the rebound, screw that shit. What did his profile say? I don't remember where you said you met him, but I know on match there is options for divorced vs separated. If he actually posted that he was divorced, then he is a lying scumbag (IMO). There is a huge difference between not living together & in the process of divorce vs actually having finished the divorce & out of that person's life.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Apr 22, 2015 17:21:21 GMT -5
... Why is that men seem to want to jump right in. ... Male companionship can tend to be relatively superficial due in large part, IM(not so)HO, to homophobia. Therefore males tend to need to have their intimacy needs met in a male/female relationship.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 22, 2015 17:42:38 GMT -5
Are there any guys left on this Board? I feel outnumbered. I don't post during the day, so that may be part of it... Anyway, I think I said it before, it is easier for women. We (guys) have to show you our bank accounts...well, not really, but you know what I mean, and that we are responsible and have a future...you just have to be pretty and hopefully have a brain. Yeah, there are a few. But the women definitely outnumber the men on this board for some reason.
I concur that attractive women have it easier.
I've seen it with my own eyes, if you're a young attractive woman without kids, you'll get men approaching you weather you want it or not.
I think at some point, maybe mid to late 30's, the scale starts to tip towards men.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 22, 2015 17:44:39 GMT -5
But seriously, I don't know what the hell my problem is in dating and trying to establish a relationship.
I'm college educated, have a stable job and make decent money, tall, not addicted to anything and don't have a criminal record. But I go out in the dating world and it's like I have two heads.
Very frustrating.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2015 17:53:31 GMT -5
I think the key is to not want to date! My STBX told me he wanted a divorce in November (on our 20th anniversary!)...I clearly hated men at that moment..who knew that hating men was the key to getting attention from men??lol A week and a half after the "I have a date and it's not with you" conversation (yes, that is seriously how it went!) I went to my 20th reunion. A guy from high school that I don't remember at ALL found out I was getting a divorce and proceeded to tell me what a huge crush he had on me in high school, blah blah blah. I had many martinis by then and my reply was "I hate men"...lol 2 months later I agreed to go on a date with him and we have been dating since. He called and texted me a lot in between but I just wasnt' ready to date I also went on a few other dates and pretty much hated them. One guy yammered on about capitalists and how union was the only way to go...and he was a set up by a friend who clearly doesn't know me as well as she thinks she does!lol
I have never done internet dating and I don't think I will. But I guess I can't say for sure. Being single is new for me so I am learning as I go. Screeeeech! This stopped me in my tracks. I had to keep looking to make sure the person that wrote this was who I thought it was. I know I haven't been keeping up with the boards like I use to, but WTH?! I'm still stuck on "I have a date and it's not with you", on your 20th anniversary! Daaamn! Are you tucking kidding?! Ok, deep breath...... off to finish reading the thread.....
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2015 17:55:00 GMT -5
But seriously, I don't know what the hell my problem is in dating and trying to establish a relationship.
I'm college educated, have a stable job and make decent money, tall, not addicted to anything and don't have a criminal record. But I go out in the dating world and it's like I have two heads.
Very frustrating. Someone from here is going to have to date you and report back.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2015 18:10:40 GMT -5
But seriously, I don't know what the hell my problem is in dating and trying to establish a relationship.
I'm college educated, have a stable job and make decent money, tall, not addicted to anything and don't have a criminal record. But I go out in the dating world and it's like I have two heads.
Very frustrating. Those qualities are good, and on the boards you come across as a nice guy, but I gotta ask.....Are you fun to be around? I like men that know how to handle business but also know how to relax and have fun. Someone that can make me smile or laugh is preferable to someone that's uptight and serious all the time. I'm not saying I think you're uptight or always serious, I'm asking.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 22, 2015 18:31:01 GMT -5
I think the key is to not want to date! My STBX told me he wanted a divorce in November (on our 20th anniversary!)...I clearly hated men at that moment..who knew that hating men was the key to getting attention from men??lol A week and a half after the "I have a date and it's not with you" conversation (yes, that is seriously how it went!) I went to my 20th reunion. A guy from high school that I don't remember at ALL found out I was getting a divorce and proceeded to tell me what a huge crush he had on me in high school, blah blah blah. I had many martinis by then and my reply was "I hate men"...lol 2 months later I agreed to go on a date with him and we have been dating since. He called and texted me a lot in between but I just wasnt' ready to date I also went on a few other dates and pretty much hated them. One guy yammered on about capitalists and how union was the only way to go...and he was a set up by a friend who clearly doesn't know me as well as she thinks she does!lol
I have never done internet dating and I don't think I will. But I guess I can't say for sure. Being single is new for me so I am learning as I go. Screeeeech! This stopped me in my tracks. I had to keep looking to make sure the person that wrote this was who I thought it was. I know I haven't been keeping up with the boards like I use to, but WTH?! I'm still stuck on "I have a date and it's not with you", on your 20th anniversary! Daaamn! Are you tucking kidding?! Ok, deep breath...... off to finish reading the thread..... This is first time I mentioned it on the boards. I'm very private
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2015 18:42:57 GMT -5
Screeeeech! This stopped me in my tracks. I had to keep looking to make sure the person that wrote this was who I thought it was. I know I haven't been keeping up with the boards like I use to, but WTH?! I'm still stuck on "I have a date and it's not with you", on your 20th anniversary! Daaamn! Are you tucking kidding?! Ok, deep breath...... off to finish reading the thread..... This is first time I mentioned it on the boards. I'm very private Well it sounds like you're focused on moving forward with your life, and that's awesome. :-) I'm still outraged on your behalf though!
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teriblue
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Post by teriblue on Apr 22, 2015 18:44:23 GMT -5
Men have it easier, by far. IMO
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 22, 2015 18:55:21 GMT -5
But seriously, I don't know what the hell my problem is in dating and trying to establish a relationship.
I'm college educated, have a stable job and make decent money, tall, not addicted to anything and don't have a criminal record. But I go out in the dating world and it's like I have two heads.
Very frustrating. Those qualities are good, and on the boards you come across as a nice guy, but I gotta ask.....Are you fun to be around? I like men that know how to handle business but also know how to relax and have fun. Someone that can make me smile or laugh is preferable to someone that's uptight and serious all the time. I'm not saying I think you're uptight or always serious, I'm asking. I'm with you on the "fun guy". I want a guy who can make me laugh
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 22, 2015 18:55:47 GMT -5
This is first time I mentioned it on the boards. I'm very private Well it sounds like you're focused on moving forward with your life, and that's awesome. :-) I'm still outraged on your behalf though! Thank you :-)
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 22, 2015 18:57:04 GMT -5
But seriously, I don't know what the hell my problem is in dating and trying to establish a relationship.
I'm college educated, have a stable job and make decent money, tall, not addicted to anything and don't have a criminal record. But I go out in the dating world and it's like I have two heads.
Very frustrating. Someone from here is going to have to date you and report back. I don't do long distance relationships.... let's just say the physical aspects of a relationship are very important to me!
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