MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 27, 2015 8:25:09 GMT -5
nutty, I still can't get over that you're Naggie. And I guess you're now divorced. Wow. Sorry for just yesterday making the connection. I also heart tall guys, but mostly because I'm a taller than average woman that likes wearing heels.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 27, 2015 8:30:06 GMT -5
So Sat I had a blind quadruple date. Two married couples, my bff and her live in, and then me and this guy. He knew everyone but me I only knew my bff. It went pretty well and apparently he told bff's bf that I'm awesome. I'll take that . Though it was a little much with both of them stoked. Her bf mentioned a couple of times how cute we looked together and how it seemed we had good banter. Lol! They are supposed to pass on my number so we'll see what happens. They think he's back in their town (an hour or two from me depending) but not sure if it's permanent as he previously lived in mine. Other potential probs is the bf let it slip that he's divorced w a young kid. Not sure how long divorced, but I'm guessing not much since his/their house just sold. quadruple blind date sounds king of intense! But I'm glad it went well for you... fingers crossed!!! I know I'm biased here, but don't write him off because of the divorce/kid. I understand being a bit wary though, but if he's a good guy and you like each other enough, you learn to work with the baggage you've both got. Nice Guy hasn't texted or called me in over a week. Hopefully he'll just ghost me like the jerks I actually liked, lol!
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Apr 27, 2015 8:31:57 GMT -5
nutty, I still can't get over that you're Naggie. And I guess you're now divorced. Wow. Sorry for just yesterday making the connection. I also heart tall guys, but mostly because I'm a taller than average woman that likes wearing heels. And I like short women. Alas, it can never be, between us.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 27, 2015 8:33:14 GMT -5
So Sat I had a blind quadruple date. Two married couples, my bff and her live in, and then me and this guy. He knew everyone but me I only knew my bff. It went pretty well and apparently he told bff's bf that I'm awesome. I'll take that . Though it was a little much with both of them stoked. Her bf mentioned a couple of times how cute we looked together and how it seemed we had good banter. Lol! They are supposed to pass on my number so we'll see what happens. They think he's back in their town (an hour or two from me depending) but not sure if it's permanent as he previously lived in mine. Other potential probs is the bf let it slip that he's divorced w a young kid. Not sure how long divorced, but I'm guessing not much since his/their house just sold. How do you feel about being a step mom?
Since we're sharing recent dating escapades, I was stood up on a date last week. That's always fun, especially when it's an hour away.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 27, 2015 8:37:05 GMT -5
nutty, I still can't get over that you're Naggie. And I guess you're now divorced. Wow. Sorry for just yesterday making the connection. I also heart tall guys, but mostly because I'm a taller than average woman that likes wearing heels. I don't have much of a preference on height. As I said before, I do try to leverage my own tallness and make it a point to e-mail tall women, but alas, hasn't worked out so far.
I didn't know Nutty was Naggie, interesting. Though I knew Nutty was divorced sometime (last year maybe?)
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 27, 2015 8:38:13 GMT -5
nutty, I still can't get over that you're Naggie. And I guess you're now divorced. Wow. Sorry for just yesterday making the connection. I also heart tall guys, but mostly because I'm a taller than average woman that likes wearing heels. And I like short women. Alas, it can never be, between us.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 27, 2015 8:39:37 GMT -5
So Sat I had a blind quadruple date. Two married couples, my bff and her live in, and then me and this guy. He knew everyone but me I only knew my bff. It went pretty well and apparently he told bff's bf that I'm awesome. I'll take that . Though it was a little much with both of them stoked. Her bf mentioned a couple of times how cute we looked together and how it seemed we had good banter. Lol! They are supposed to pass on my number so we'll see what happens. They think he's back in their town (an hour or two from me depending) but not sure if it's permanent as he previously lived in mine. Other potential probs is the bf let it slip that he's divorced w a young kid. Not sure how long divorced, but I'm guessing not much since his/their house just sold. How do you feel about being a step mom?
let's get her to a second date first, shall we?
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 27, 2015 8:43:14 GMT -5
So Sat I had a blind quadruple date. Two married couples, my bff and her live in, and then me and this guy. He knew everyone but me I only knew my bff. It went pretty well and apparently he told bff's bf that I'm awesome. I'll take that . Though it was a little much with both of them stoked. Her bf mentioned a couple of times how cute we looked together and how it seemed we had good banter. Lol! They are supposed to pass on my number so we'll see what happens. They think he's back in their town (an hour or two from me depending) but not sure if it's permanent as he previously lived in mine. Other potential probs is the bf let it slip that he's divorced w a young kid. Not sure how long divorced, but I'm guessing not much since his/their house just sold. How do you feel about being a step mom?
Since we're sharing recent dating escapades, I was stood up on a date last week. That's always fun, especially when it's an hour away.
About a year and a half ago I dated a guy with a kid. I was internally freaking out for the first month or so but eventually decided I was ok with. But it ended because he took a new job that would give him more money and time to be with his kid but none with me. It was rougher than other breakups and went back to my no kids stance. My first thought when the bf casually mentioned his kid was oh crap. Lol
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 27, 2015 8:45:29 GMT -5
So Sat I had a blind quadruple date. Two married couples, my bff and her live in, and then me and this guy. He knew everyone but me I only knew my bff. It went pretty well and apparently he told bff's bf that I'm awesome. I'll take that . Though it was a little much with both of them stoked. Her bf mentioned a couple of times how cute we looked together and how it seemed we had good banter. Lol! They are supposed to pass on my number so we'll see what happens. They think he's back in their town (an hour or two from me depending) but not sure if it's permanent as he previously lived in mine. Other potential probs is the bf let it slip that he's divorced w a young kid. Not sure how long divorced, but I'm guessing not much since his/their house just sold. quadruple blind date sounds king of intense! But I'm glad it went well for you... fingers crossed!!! I know I'm biased here, but don't write him off because of the divorce/kid. I understand being a bit wary though, but if he's a good guy and you like each other enough, you learn to work with the baggage you've both got. Nice Guy hasn't texted or called me in over a week. Hopefully he'll just ghost me like the jerks I actually liked, lol! I don't date women with kids.
It's not that I don't inherently like kids, but I am a bit skeptical about how "mixed families" work. I'm sure many work out, but I see a lot of pitfalls for drama and resentment. At the end of the day, you'll never "really" be their dad/mom. Do you co parent the step kid equally? Do you leave the parenting to the birth parent? How do you handle discipline? How do you deal with visitation and the parental rights of the "ex parent?" Are you responsible to spend your own money on the step kid? Are you even going to get along with the step kid? Is the step kid going to resent you for trying to take the place of their parent? Lots of thorny issues abound in the already difficult task of getting to know someone and establishing a life together....
Furthermore, I grew up in a "nuclear family" and that's how I've always envisioned my life going. It's just the way it is.
At some point in my life, if I still find myself single, I might consider dating someone with kids, but not in the immediate future.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 27, 2015 8:47:56 GMT -5
So Sat I had a blind quadruple date. Two married couples, my bff and her live in, and then me and this guy. He knew everyone but me I only knew my bff. It went pretty well and apparently he told bff's bf that I'm awesome. I'll take that . Though it was a little much with both of them stoked. Her bf mentioned a couple of times how cute we looked together and how it seemed we had good banter. Lol! They are supposed to pass on my number so we'll see what happens. They think he's back in their town (an hour or two from me depending) but not sure if it's permanent as he previously lived in mine. Other potential probs is the bf let it slip that he's divorced w a young kid. Not sure how long divorced, but I'm guessing not much since his/their house just sold. quadruple blind date sounds king of intense! But I'm glad it went well for you... fingers crossed!!! I know I'm biased here, but don't write him off because of the divorce/kid. I understand being a bit wary though, but if he's a good guy and you like each other enough, you learn to work with the baggage you've both got. Nice Guy hasn't texted or called me in over a week. Hopefully he'll just ghost me like the jerks I actually liked, lol! I was tempted to cancel the whole visit! I was nervous enough going on a double date, bff has different tastes from me and as her bfs friend I was worried I'd have to plot an escape. Then a few days before she said another couple invited themselves along and I show up and she mentioned another couple. I think it was most awkward in my head, especially when I happened to look up and the entire group was over there and we were over here...felt like a fish at an aquarium! And that happened several times!
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 27, 2015 9:07:46 GMT -5
quadruple blind date sounds king of intense! But I'm glad it went well for you... fingers crossed!!! I know I'm biased here, but don't write him off because of the divorce/kid. I understand being a bit wary though, but if he's a good guy and you like each other enough, you learn to work with the baggage you've both got. Nice Guy hasn't texted or called me in over a week. Hopefully he'll just ghost me like the jerks I actually liked, lol! I don't date women with kids.
It's not that I don't inherently like kids, but I am a bit skeptical about how "mixed families" work. I'm sure many work out, but I see a lot of pitfalls for drama and resentment. At the end of the day, you'll never "really" be their dad/mom. Do you co parent the step kid equally? Do you leave the parenting to the birth parent? How do you handle discipline? How do you deal with visitation and the parental rights of the "ex parent?" Are you responsible to spend your own money on the step kid? Are you even going to get along with the step kid? Is the step kid going to resent you for trying to take the place of their parent? Lots of thorny issues abound in the already difficult task of getting to know someone and establishing a life together....
Furthermore, I grew up in a "nuclear family" and that's how I've always envisioned my life going. It's just the way it is.
At some point in my life, if I still find myself single, I might consider dating someone with kids, but not in the immediate future.
I've had a stepfather for a while and this is what seemed to happen: He cared for me a great deal, almost like I was his bio child, but 95% of discipline/issues were left to my mom to address. He did scold me sometimes and I'd just internally roll my eyes, but it wasn't something that was a regular thing. He never tried to be my father and I never saw him as a replacement. He was a guy that my mom married that was a decent male role model (until he proved that he wasn't). Aside from his serious transgressions that cause the end of their marriage, I imagine that what I described is pretty standard for blended families. For the most part, it seemed to work alright for us. And FWIW, being blood related in a typical nuclear family does not mean that there won't be any resentment or discipline issues. There can be a "good cop, bad cop" pairing in parenting, so there will always be the one parent who's less fun and maybe slightly resented for it. That is not at all exclusive to blended families.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 27, 2015 10:33:28 GMT -5
Yeah, I can see how that would be the case.
I just don't fancy the idea of being "the guy mom married." And I know blood related nuclear families can have issues too, but as I said, it's not what I foresee for myself. And if you have kids of your own (i.e. half siblings of the existing kids) that can create a whole new host of issues.
I feel like, when I do have kids, that I want "kids of my own."
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 27, 2015 11:00:25 GMT -5
quadruple blind date sounds king of intense! But I'm glad it went well for you... fingers crossed!!! I know I'm biased here, but don't write him off because of the divorce/kid. I understand being a bit wary though, but if he's a good guy and you like each other enough, you learn to work with the baggage you've both got. Nice Guy hasn't texted or called me in over a week. Hopefully he'll just ghost me like the jerks I actually liked, lol! I don't date women with kids.
It's not that I don't inherently like kids, but I am a bit skeptical about how "mixed families" work. I'm sure many work out, but I see a lot of pitfalls for drama and resentment. At the end of the day, you'll never "really" be their dad/mom. Do you co parent the step kid equally? Do you leave the parenting to the birth parent? How do you handle discipline? How do you deal with visitation and the parental rights of the "ex parent?" Are you responsible to spend your own money on the step kid? Are you even going to get along with the step kid? Is the step kid going to resent you for trying to take the place of their parent? Lots of thorny issues abound in the already difficult task of getting to know someone and establishing a life together....
Furthermore, I grew up in a "nuclear family" and that's how I've always envisioned my life going. It's just the way it is.
At some point in my life, if I still find myself single, I might consider dating someone with kids, but not in the immediate future.
I think all your concerns are putting the cart before the horse. Those are all things you figure out as you go along. I totally get that kids complicate things. But I think all that really matters is do you like the kid and does the kid like you. Everything else is just details that will work themselves out if the relationship goes further.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 27, 2015 12:35:50 GMT -5
I don't date women with kids.
It's not that I don't inherently like kids, but I am a bit skeptical about how "mixed families" work. I'm sure many work out, but I see a lot of pitfalls for drama and resentment. At the end of the day, you'll never "really" be their dad/mom. Do you co parent the step kid equally? Do you leave the parenting to the birth parent? How do you handle discipline? How do you deal with visitation and the parental rights of the "ex parent?" Are you responsible to spend your own money on the step kid? Are you even going to get along with the step kid? Is the step kid going to resent you for trying to take the place of their parent? Lots of thorny issues abound in the already difficult task of getting to know someone and establishing a life together....
Furthermore, I grew up in a "nuclear family" and that's how I've always envisioned my life going. It's just the way it is.
At some point in my life, if I still find myself single, I might consider dating someone with kids, but not in the immediate future.
I think all your concerns are putting the cart before the horse. Those are all things you figure out as you go along. I totally get that kids complicate things. But I think all that really matters is do you like the kid and does the kid like you. Everything else is just details that will work themselves out if the relationship goes further. I'm kind of a hypocrite since I have kids...but I really would not want to date someone with young children. I'm not looking to get married again (I won't say "never" because once I use that word I always seem to eat it!lol) but I also have to consider that if I really fall someone without meaning to, I will be stuck with dealing with small kids again. I'm over that part of my life.
Luckily, the guy I am dating now has no children. I did ask if he wants them (not only dont' I want more babies, I had a hysterectomy earlier this year so I can't physically have them). He said he regrets not having children but at his age he doesn't want them (he is 46).
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 27, 2015 13:00:00 GMT -5
One of the many reasons I never got real serious about the doctor was he had a child much younger than my last one and I was DONE with raising kids. Plus, his ex got MS so he was going to have to be full time instead of part time parent. I liked his kids enough but I didn't want to be their mother. The last one was 12 going on 2 and I just would not have been able to handle it.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 27, 2015 13:15:03 GMT -5
I look for tall guys, I have no idea why, I like tall guys. I am hanging with a few. [br I dig short guys for some reason.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 28, 2015 16:04:35 GMT -5
I am being so stupid and I need people to knock some sence into me. I am actually going out again with recently separated guy, I know this is not a good idea.
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 28, 2015 16:15:56 GMT -5
So, then why are you doing it?
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Apr 28, 2015 16:26:37 GMT -5
I am being so stupid and I need people to knock some sence into me. I am actually going out again with recently separated guy, I know this is not a good idea. Not necessarily...judge a person by his/her character, not what went before...but yeah, he could be a total let down, but so can you? It all depends on where you are standing...no?
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 28, 2015 16:30:32 GMT -5
I am being so stupid and I need people to knock some sence into me. I am actually going out again with recently separated guy, I know this is not a good idea. The dude that lied to you & then try to play it off like it was your fault for not asking? Yeah, I'd his ass.
Now if you mean a totally different recently separated guy who was honest about his situation, then at least he isn't a lying asshole, so that isn't as bad.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 28, 2015 16:42:11 GMT -5
Have a good time but don't get serious. You NEVER want to be the person that dates right after the breakup because you get all the download and then he moves on to fresh when he's done dumping his woe on you.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 29, 2015 7:44:08 GMT -5
I don't know why he lied, he said he didn't know why he lied I had plenty of other information about him, he was on match.com. I don't want to be the rebound chick. I don't tell people I am not divorced until the right time comes up and sometimes it is difficult to insert it, I know this because I live it. Yes we all like to have every little detail from the beginning but it doesn't always work that way.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Apr 29, 2015 8:08:22 GMT -5
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 29, 2015 8:19:03 GMT -5
I'm of the mind anymore that when you first start dating someone everyone is on their best behavior trying to win the person over. So if they're already doing stuff you don't like, how's it going to be when the rose colored glasses are off?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 29, 2015 10:01:19 GMT -5
I don't see any good coming from this guy. If he started out lying, why would he not continue to lie since it works for him.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Apr 29, 2015 10:18:14 GMT -5
I could maybe excuse the lying if the sex was really good, but since it's only the second date that can't be it....
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 29, 2015 10:40:34 GMT -5
You never know. Maybe that's why there is a second date.
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on Apr 29, 2015 10:50:34 GMT -5
Yeah, I can see how that would be the case.
I just don't fancy the idea of being "the guy mom married." And I know blood related nuclear families can have issues too, but as I said, it's not what I foresee for myself. And if you have kids of your own (i.e. half siblings of the existing kids) that can create a whole new host of issues.
I feel like, when I do have kids, that I want "kids of my own." Yeah, you already know what you want. Do yourself a favor and don't deviate from that. I wouldn't date a woman with young children now either. Although that issue is mostly moot because of my age (47)
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Apr 29, 2015 11:16:46 GMT -5
Yeah, I can see how that would be the case.
I just don't fancy the idea of being "the guy mom married." And I know blood related nuclear families can have issues too, but as I said, it's not what I foresee for myself. And if you have kids of your own (i.e. half siblings of the existing kids) that can create a whole new host of issues.
I feel like, when I do have kids, that I want "kids of my own." Yeah, you already know what you want. Do yourself a favor and don't deviate from that. I wouldn't date a woman with young children now either. Although that issue is mostly moot because of my age (47) Maybe they want a sugar daddy.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Apr 29, 2015 11:22:50 GMT -5
Yeah, I can see how that would be the case.
I just don't fancy the idea of being "the guy mom married." And I know blood related nuclear families can have issues too, but as I said, it's not what I foresee for myself. And if you have kids of your own (i.e. half siblings of the existing kids) that can create a whole new host of issues.
I feel like, when I do have kids, that I want "kids of my own." Yeah, you already know what you want. Do yourself a favor and don't deviate from that. I wouldn't date a woman with young children now either. Although that issue is mostly moot because of my age (47) This. Trying to make something different than what you want work never ends well. I'm at a point where guys my age (36) do have kids, or if they don't, they still want them. It sucks.
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