midjd
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Post by midjd on Feb 17, 2015 16:19:33 GMT -5
Dept of Labor closed today, too - weather. Depression ---> Work is problem; need medical leave ---> Told manager ---> Fired ---> Worse Depression ---> Work is problem ---> Work says no benefit, since fired; can't attest for UI that I'm able to work ---> Worse Depression since -> Work is problem Kind of caught in loop here. Need to find lawyer, not sure how to do that. Or how to pay one. But! I think meds are kicking in some - maybe. If you're alleging unlawful termination, most employment attorneys will take the case on contingency. You shouldn't have to pay anything until you get a settlement/judgment. The other upside to that is that if they take the case, you know you have a good one... since it's not in their best interest to spend time/$ on cases they don't think they can win.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 17, 2015 16:23:40 GMT -5
I hope you'll contest this, hon. This is just plain wrong from the sounds of it. Do you have anyone who might agree to help you find an attorney and maybe go with you to talk to them about this? When you're really depressed, it's often hard to get going on something like this. A help-mate can be invaluable. I just feel so badly for you over this. Wish I could give you a real hug and help you navigate the things that need to be done.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 17, 2015 17:37:42 GMT -5
Sending good thoughts to you. It seems everything being closed due to the weather is a push to gather your thoughts and plan course of action. Frustrating, yes; but maybe the universe is sorting for you. I don't know your faith position so that is why I used universe.
I hope you are able to get your rest and have nourishing food. Enjoy the small things like fresh coffee.
Our weather isn't as bad as the East but we have very cold temperatures and wind.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 17, 2015 18:46:55 GMT -5
Tahnk you, Artemis Windsong. I lean Buddhist, so this is a good fit, as are your meditation recommendations. And mmhmm and midjd, I do intend to fight this - if/when I can pull myself together enough. For that is the rub: I need time out to drag myself out of this, yet that occasioned my termination, which deepened the pit. It seems clear that it was unlawful: I was on FMLA to care for my DH (intermittent); I notified my manager that I needed medical leave- which is covered by FMLA and ADA - and was terminated the next day without warning. And not for cause. When I am up for it, I'll be angry. DH is trying to help, but right now I'm finding it all draining.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 17, 2015 19:17:59 GMT -5
DH should be able to help by gathering information about employment attorneys in your area. He's got the details on what happened to you, so should be able to talk to them a bit in order to find out if they'll consider consulting with you about this mess. It's the calling around and running around that really saps your energy. Those are things he can do for you while you work on getting yourself back together for the fight.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Feb 18, 2015 12:45:59 GMT -5
I think you should be careful about taking advice off this board. None of us really knows your situation. And, whether you "should" or "shouldn't" pursue something legally, I can't say. And, I think you really need to look at your own situation and your heart and decide what direction is best for you. You might have legal recourse, you might not. You won't really know until you talk to a lawyer. Even if you do, it might not pan out. You might be better off to direct your limited energies to resting and healing and then looking down the road. Or, maybe it is best pursue some type of judgment. Get some good advice from the people in your circle.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 18, 2015 19:24:08 GMT -5
Shooby, I understand your point. No one who knows me would say I'm easily led off track, even when I'm scraping bottom. I do find posts helpful and supportive, and it is very helpful to me to write this out. It clarifies things, and people on the board provide starch when I'm not finding it in me. I'm astonished at how prevalent depression is in YM, and learn from different posters' battles. For employment, this is a good sounding board, too. I do what I can, and feel I must; it helps tremendously to have invisible people to talk with. You, for instance: your commentary helps. Thank you.
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Feb 18, 2015 21:02:18 GMT -5
finnime,
If this helps, something similar happened to my DH. He applied for FMLA (on his doctor's recommendation) and then had to leave the country for a family emergency. They fired him while he was away and harassed him constantly to return the phone, laptop, car, office keys etc. etc. when he was not in the country. They would not believe that he was not in town.
He really wanted to contest it, but I told him to leave it behind him. The main reason was that his job and the people were really draining him in ways that he could not see. He was hospitalized twice within a month thinking that he had a heart attack. He also developed constant migraines and neck and shoulder pain because of the tension and he was someone who was never sick. I told him to take off for a month and apply elsewhere.
He got a great job a month and half after applying and they did not even question him about the firing - with a bigger salary and great benefits. Life will turn around and I hope you take some time for yourself. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 18, 2015 22:40:29 GMT -5
I'm thinking about you finnime. I'm just really busy at work right now.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 19, 2015 19:25:30 GMT -5
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 19, 2015 21:05:47 GMT -5
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 20, 2015 8:11:35 GMT -5
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 20, 2015 9:18:55 GMT -5
finnime, If this helps, something similar happened to my DH. He applied for FMLA (on his doctor's recommendation) and then had to leave the country for a family emergency. They fired him while he was away and harassed him constantly to return the phone, laptop, car, office keys etc. etc. when he was not in the country. They would not believe that he was not in town. He really wanted to contest it, but I told him to leave it behind him. The main reason was that his job and the people were really draining him in ways that he could not see. He was hospitalized twice within a month thinking that he had a heart attack. He also developed constant migraines and neck and shoulder pain because of the tension and he was someone who was never sick. I told him to take off for a month and apply elsewhere. He got a great job a month and half after applying and they did not even question him about the firing - with a bigger salary and great benefits. Life will turn around and I hope you take some time for yourself. Good luck with whatever you decide. This does help, very much, saveinla. On the not awful news front - I got paid today as scheduled. It doesn't mean anything good, but it would be so much worse if I were not paid. Planning on breathing practice now.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 20, 2015 9:20:24 GMT -5
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 20, 2015 9:31:15 GMT -5
Keep on finnime.
I spent the better part of the last 3 days on my couch (mostly sick, then me time) Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Hugs, Beth
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 20, 2015 17:52:13 GMT -5
I am glad the road is not so rough now.
I have hit a rough patch. I had asked a friend "B" to play in a tennis tournament with me but she was going on vacation. I said we'd talk about it after she got back because I was unsure of the date. She was sick a few days, so today was the first day we had to talk. She said she committed to another "A" already.
I really felt trashed because I had told "A" I had asked "B" to play. This is not the first time "A" has undermined me. I will be finding a new group to play with. I am really hurt by this.
Then I put 2 and 2 together and found out my DH did something mega inappropriate this week. The last straw.
I did have 5 minutes of real happiness a couple of days ago. Now body slammed.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 20, 2015 19:49:44 GMT -5
I am glad the road is not so rough now. I have hit a rough patch. [...] I am really hurt by this. Then I put 2 and 2 together and found out my DH did something mega inappropriate this week. The last straw. I did have 5 minutes of real happiness a couple of days ago. Now body slammed. I am so, so sorry to read this. Artemis Windsong, good and true friends (and husbands) are so difficult to find. Now please take the advice you have offered me, and pamper yourself.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 21, 2015 9:04:02 GMT -5
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 22, 2015 15:56:14 GMT -5
How are you doing today? Do you continue to have body pain?
I have had success with interviewing my pain to release it when the emotional pain takes up residence in my body.
I describe where it is. I try to identify the causal issue. I look at what color it is. What shape is it as well as substance. Whether it moves or not. If it is connected elsewhere in the body. What number would be assigned to it on the pain scale.
I am shakily recovered from anxiety, depression, insomnia. I had insomnia last night and took 1/2 zolpidem. The first since a New Years trip.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 22, 2015 16:36:03 GMT -5
Dance Tutorial
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 22, 2015 20:23:53 GMT -5
I do hope was a better day. During tax season, which is very stressful for me, the weekends are my "me" time. I do my laundry and other must haves, but otherwise I mostly have me time. I do work on Saturday morning at the church and take dad to lunch. Then it's totally me time until Monday morning. Glad you got paid.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 23, 2015 15:13:00 GMT -5
We went to church as a family for the first time in forever. My 5 year old boy got bored and started paging though the hymnal. He lit up like a Christmas tree when when he found the sheet music section. And started singing/humming "The ABC Song" to the church music, in German. It was really fun. He was loud enough that DH could hear him singing/humming about 4 feet further down the pew. He was also really off key too.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 23, 2015 17:15:09 GMT -5
I hope you are able to get out and visit with some friends about day to day stuff. Light instead of emotionally based. I know it's hard when feeling down to find pleasure in someone explaining a book or movie.
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Artemis Windsong
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The love in me salutes the love in you. M. Williamson
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Feb 23, 2015 18:54:50 GMT -5
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 27, 2015 15:43:03 GMT -5
So short term disability was approved by the insurance company, covering 2/10 - 3/9, to be extended if indicated by my physician.
I have no idea what that will mean in fact. My employer wanted me to be terminated effective 2/10. STD is an employee benefit. So, we'll see. In the interim, I have this combination dread and jittery feeling. Guess I'm still in the stunned fish stage.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Feb 27, 2015 15:45:49 GMT -5
no advice... just
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 27, 2015 15:45:48 GMT -5
Just keep on doing what you need to do.
Did you start to document everything you can remember from the last 6 months or so?
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Feb 27, 2015 18:26:02 GMT -5
Just keep on doing what you need to do. Did you start to document everything you can remember from the last 6 months or so? Yes, sort of. Not really. But I did take some notes of the last two days. Onward.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Mar 7, 2015 16:23:50 GMT -5
I'm just checking in to see how you are doing.
Documentation is important.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Mar 8, 2015 11:06:05 GMT -5
Hi Artemis Windsong. Today I'll finish the narrative the EEOC complaint needs. DH found the complaint requirements, and I'm okay enough at this point to follow directions. And that's a good thing. I was paid again Friday - expect it to be the last pay, but have gotten nothing in writing from my employer at all. The short term disability insurance company is renewing my eligibility, but don't know still what that will mean in practical terms. So Depression still stalks me. I spend too much time doing too little, but: it is better than it was. Getting closer to okay. Thanks for asking.
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