MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 23, 2015 11:02:27 GMT -5
the lack of physical contact doesn't help either.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 11:11:40 GMT -5
What are you going to do? Be picky until you are not 'datable' because there is no men older than you? OK, tell me what are you looking for in man? Usually someone done with undergrad A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self Someone who shares some intrests of mine I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well Think: Usually someone done with undergrad. At the age you are looking for it should be reasonable and easy to find. BUT what about bartender who has no college degree? Or some businessman/business owner with none either? Contractors and mechanics make shitload of money you know/ You eliminating 60% of men I would say... A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) Sometimes it is better to train a good boy than re-train a bad man! Joke: all good men are taken while puppies... A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Forget that ONE who was whining to you about it. And don't men automatically come with cars? How than? Walkers or byciclists? Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self HERE you stop and remember how many couples you know when men are pretty short? And trust me - those are the best. Someone who shares some intrests of mine Whatever those interests are. How is he supposed to know? I had never liked basketball but I do now because HE IS WatCHING IT FOR 22 YEARS! I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off Well, someone must marry those policeman and firefighters... And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well. First find someone period. Then you will talk relationships. ================== Good Luck!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 11:13:50 GMT -5
Usually someone done with undergrad A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self Someone who shares some intrests of mine I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well How you doin' Ok, that was a bad pickup line. I meet all your standards, though I don't know your interests. To bad we're so far apart. Maybe we should start a YM match making service. Money, after all, is a chief concern of long term relationships. It was a great pick up line when said by a right person you know... And what is wrong with meeting here and move if you know what. I hope one of you can afford plane ticket to get physical if everything else is tip-topsy?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 11:15:26 GMT -5
Lol! I don't know if there's that many singles on ym. For dear YM I agree to become single. Anyone else?
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 11:16:38 GMT -5
uh oh... is this an opportunity for Loony to play matchmaker?? I live too far away. Makes note to thank God later that I didn't move closer to where Loony is. Here is warm 'thanks' for all the hard work I just did. No wonder you are single!!!
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MJ2.0
Senior Associate
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 23, 2015 11:19:57 GMT -5
Usually someone done with undergrad A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self Someone who shares some intrests of mine I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well Think: Usually someone done with undergrad. At the age you are looking for it should be reasonable and easy to find. BUT what about bartender who has no college degree? Or some businessman/business owner with none either? Contractors and mechanics make shitload of money you know/ You eliminating 60% of men I would say... I'm sure that number is based on extensive research. But actually, yeah - I would not eliminate someone without a college degree if they were still working hard and have a plan.A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) Sometimes it is better to train a good boy than re-train a bad man! Joke: all good men are taken while puppies... Ain't nobody got time for that!A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Forget that ONE who was whining to you about it. And don't men automatically come with cars? How than? Walkers or byciclists? Wait, men automatically come with cars? Like how women come with handbags?Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self HERE you stop and remember how many couples you know when men are pretty short? And trust me - those are the best. Height is a dealbreaker for me too, so I'm gonna disagree here.Someone who shares some intrests of mine Whatever those interests are. How is he supposed to know? I had never liked basketball but I do now because HE IS WatCHING IT FOR 22 YEARS! I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off Well, someone must marry those policeman and firefighters... And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well. First find someone period. Then you will talk relationships. 1. find a man with a pulse 2. .....?================== Good Luck!
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 23, 2015 11:25:45 GMT -5
Usually someone done with undergrad A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self Someone who shares some intrests of mine I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well Think: Usually someone done with undergrad. At the age you are looking for it should be reasonable and easy to find. BUT what about bartender who has no college degree? Or some businessman/business owner with none either? Contractors and mechanics make shitload of money you know/ You eliminating 60% of men I would say... A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) Sometimes it is better to train a good boy than re-train a bad man! Joke: all good men are taken while puppies... A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Forget that ONE who was whining to you about it. And don't men automatically come with cars? How than? Walkers or byciclists? Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self HERE you stop and remember how many couples you know when men are pretty short? And trust me - those are the best. Someone who shares some intrests of mine Whatever those interests are. How is he supposed to know? I had never liked basketball but I do now because HE IS WatCHING IT FOR 22 YEARS! I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off Well, someone must marry those policeman and firefighters... And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well. First find someone period. Then you will talk relationships. ================== Good Luck! I didn't say they needed a degree, I just don't want to date someone that it's the college party time phase of his life. Yes, a dated a 31 yo in college partying with all the young kids, no thanks. I've tried to train them. I think it only works at 18 by the time they're 28 you can tweak stuff but the bones are there. Besides I'm a big believer in liking someone for who they are not trying to change them (and almost always fail) The guy I'm going on a date tonight isn't taller than me and I had a bf once that was 5.8. I just prefer taller because they never bitch when I put on heels. I have to toss back the ones that can't stop bitching about heels. I didn't say we had to have everything in common, but I don't want a guy who thinks a fun weekend is playing video games all day. I've dated guys on opposite shifts and I don't like it. I don't like that he can't go out with my friends and me or take me to a play. It's not a hard and fast rule, but I don't want a relationship where I'm alone all the time. And there's no point in waiting forever to ask the guys if they want a relationship. Did that with the last two guys and only find out after I was attached that even though they were acting relationshipy they don't want one and have gone on other dates. No thank you.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Jan 23, 2015 11:39:59 GMT -5
I like to tell women about my Furry fetish up front. It leads to less confusion in the bedroom later.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Jan 23, 2015 11:45:08 GMT -5
What are you going to do? Be picky until you are not 'datable' because there is no men older than you? OK, tell me what are you looking for in man? Usually someone done with undergrad A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self Someone who shares some intrests of mine I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well You could've just said you're looking for someone like Bob Ross. Except...I don't know about that "shared interest" thing. Let me ask you this: do you have a Furry fetish?
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tloonya
Junior Associate
What status?
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 11:54:29 GMT -5
Think: Usually someone done with undergrad. At the age you are looking for it should be reasonable and easy to find. BUT what about bartender who has no college degree? Or some businessman/business owner with none either? Contractors and mechanics make shitload of money you know/ You eliminating 60% of men I would say... A man, not a boy (sad how hard that one is to find) Sometimes it is better to train a good boy than re-train a bad man! Joke: all good men are taken while puppies... A job, preferably a career, with a car and who isn't always lamenting about being broke (and no I don't mean rich men only) Forget that ONE who was whining to you about it. And don't men automatically come with cars? How than? Walkers or byciclists? Someone I find attractive and is preferably taller than my 5.10 self HERE you stop and remember how many couples you know when men are pretty short? And trust me - those are the best. Someone who shares some intrests of mine Whatever those interests are. How is he supposed to know? I had never liked basketball but I do now because HE IS WatCHING IT FOR 22 YEARS! I heavily prefer someone on the same shift as me, so no bartender that works every weekend night which is my time off Well, someone must marry those policeman and firefighters... And, finally, someone who actually wants a relationship if things go well. First find someone period. Then you will talk relationships. ================== Good Luck! I didn't say they needed a degree, I just don't want to date someone that it's the college party time phase of his life. Yes, a dated a 31 yo in college partying with all the young kids, no thanks. I've tried to train them. I think it only works at 18 by the time they're 28 you can tweak stuff but the bones are there. Besides I'm a big believer in liking someone for who they are not trying to change them (and almost always fail) The guy I'm going on a date tonight isn't taller than me and I had a bf once that was 5.8. I just prefer taller because they never bitch when I put on heels. I have to toss back the ones that can't stop bitching about heels. I didn't say we had to have everything in common, but I don't want a guy who thinks a fun weekend is playing video games all day. I've dated guys on opposite shifts and I don't like it. I don't like that he can't go out with my friends and me or take me to a play. It's not a hard and fast rule, but I don't want a relationship where I'm alone all the time. And there's no point in waiting forever to ask the guys if they want a relationship. Did that with the last two guys and only find out after I was attached that even though they were acting relationshipy they don't want one and have gone on other dates. No thank you. Heels, shmeels...you have an attitude girl! I am done helping you here. Anyuone else need sound advice on dating (except Bob Ross)?
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The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
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Post by The Captain on Jan 23, 2015 13:14:05 GMT -5
lol, yes I get those... and also a few that could be my father! After NCG I'm done with anyone under 28. Baby steps! My problem is that a month away from 29 and I still regularly get pegged as 24 sometimes younger. So all the stupid 24 year olds don't bother to see my preference is for much older because I'm older. I wouldn't necessarily write off younger men. I used to date (much older) men exclusively because I always felt like I should get paid for babysitting if I dated anyone near my age. Then I met DH (he's 2+ years my junior). If I'd stuck to my rule I would have missed out on a fantastic guy.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 23, 2015 13:14:26 GMT -5
I had someone tell a girlfriend of mine that he wouldn't date me because he might end up with short children due to my bad genes!
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 23, 2015 13:29:03 GMT -5
My problem is that a month away from 29 and I still regularly get pegged as 24 sometimes younger. So all the stupid 24 year olds don't bother to see my preference is for much older because I'm older. I wouldn't necessarily write off younger men. I used to date (much older) men exclusively because I always felt like I should get paid for babysitting if I dated anyone near my age. Then I met DH (he's 2+ years my junior). If I'd stuck to my rule I would have missed out on a fantastic guy. I've dated some one or two years, but that's still 27. That's about as far as I will go at this moment.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Jan 23, 2015 13:47:41 GMT -5
People usually list their dealbreakers upfront - at least online. If I saw a profile and they said they wouldn't date anyone with kids, I wouldn't bother contacting them. But if they don't mention it, why should I just put it out there? You usually don't know what people's dealbreakers are until you've talked to them. Surprisingly, none of the guys I've gone out with have cared about me having a kid. Just so you know, when I was online dating, I didn't list my career. For some reason most people assumed I was a teacher. I completely get where you're coming from that you don't shout it from loudspeakers attached from your car. But seriously: Me, a teacher
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Jan 23, 2015 13:59:45 GMT -5
I agree with the PPs. I don't tell people immediately that I have a kid because they probably won't meet him anyway. Those parts of my life are going to remain completely separate until I feel that whoever I'm dating has definite long-term potential.... so like after several months to a year. Now if they asked me right away if I had a kid, I'd say "yes" - but if they didn't, not disclosing it upfront is not lying IMO. disagree. must mention a kid for other party and you not to waste time if kid is a deal breaker. I say medical condition or anything else should be disclosed at the second date. Because if second happened after the first it means both parties are liking what they had on the first date. So...to not to fall in love and find out that man can't have kids - tell!!! Whatever you feel can be a deal breaker - tell before time wasted and heart invested into relationships. Oh. My. God. You guys better write the date down. I actually agree with TLoonya. This has never happened before! Seriously, I say dealbreaker stuff definitely needs to be disclosed up front on the first date. I don't date people with kids (flame away since I myself have kids) so I want to know up front if my date has them. If so, there will be no second date, but we can be friends. If that is a dealbreaker for him, he should know up front as well that I have kids. Why waste the time? But I wouldn't disclose anything that is an intimate detail until the time came. There's no need.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 23, 2015 14:02:48 GMT -5
But you don't know what's a dealbreaker to every person. Are you going to compile a list of everything about you that could be considered a dealbreaker, bring it on your first date with the person, and read it all off to them?
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Apple
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Always travel with a sense of humor
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Post by Apple on Jan 23, 2015 14:07:29 GMT -5
I can't imagine more than two dates and never letting on that I have a kid (at any age). I don't believe in introducing kids early either, and it would take a year of serious dating, with long-term being desired, to introduce the kid. But to not even let someone know you have one? I'd a guy if he waited a year with "oh, yeah, btw I have a little kid" or "but you didn't ask", would make me wonder what else he'd only "confess" to with direct questions.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 23, 2015 14:11:08 GMT -5
I didn't say they needed a degree, I just don't want to date someone that it's the college party time phase of his life. Yes, a dated a 31 yo in college partying with all the young kids, no thanks. I've tried to train them. I think it only works at 18 by the time they're 28 you can tweak stuff but the bones are there. Besides I'm a big believer in liking someone for who they are not trying to change them (and almost always fail) The guy I'm going on a date tonight isn't taller than me and I had a bf once that was 5.8. I just prefer taller because they never bitch when I put on heels. I have to toss back the ones that can't stop bitching about heels. I didn't say we had to have everything in common, but I don't want a guy who thinks a fun weekend is playing video games all day. I've dated guys on opposite shifts and I don't like it. I don't like that he can't go out with my friends and me or take me to a play. It's not a hard and fast rule, but I don't want a relationship where I'm alone all the time. And there's no point in waiting forever to ask the guys if they want a relationship. Did that with the last two guys and only find out after I was attached that even though they were acting relationshipy they don't want one and have gone on other dates. No thank you. Heels, shmeels...you have an attitude girl! I am done helping you here. Anyuone else need sound advice on dating (except Bob Ross)? Lol you have an attitude too loony so it doesn't bother me that you think I do. It's logical to take the things you really didn't like in previous relationships and not want that in your next.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 23, 2015 14:12:37 GMT -5
I would definitely tell someone by date #2. In no way was I advocating that you wait a year before telling - I was saying I wouldn't introduce the kid until then.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Jan 23, 2015 14:16:21 GMT -5
As for other stuff: Before the first date-- "status". If you're still "technically married", you're married. Don't put "single" or "divorced" as your status. Apparently I broke some guy's heart because he was dishonest and told me during the first meeting that he was still married. I don't date married people, and he lied on his profile by stating his status was "single". STDs-- before you have sexual contact, even if you "think a condom will prevent spreading it" Disease, non-contagious-- if it limits you, before you plan on that type of activity. Or, if you know you can't snowboard because you've had leg surgery, and you find out the date snowboards every day in the winter, bring it up that you can't do it. Infertility-- if person has a profile that "definitely wants kids", and they contact you, maybe say "how do you feel about adoption?", details can come later. In my case, I just say "can't have more kids", but I'm not insecure about it, and no "feelings" toward the fact that I can't Unemployment-- are you actively trying to fix it? Give it a couple dates. Have you decided it's easier to never have a job and you plan to couch surf or live in your old bedroom forever? First date Debt?-- long before you get to the idea of becoming financially entwined (marriage, moving in together, etc) You love all things Richard Simmons?-- bury that stuff deep down forever and never, ever let your partner know. Until some point that they can't get rid of you easily, if you really have to share
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Jan 23, 2015 14:19:03 GMT -5
I would definitely tell someone by date #2. In no way was I advocating that you wait a year before telling - I was saying I wouldn't introduce the kid until then. It just really reads that way! But, yeah, I'm 100% with you on not introducing the kid! Unless that's how you met in the first place, like you were at a kid event with the kiddos (a school event, the zoo, etc). Still, I'd keep kid contact minimal and to those shared events where you're both bringing your kids and will see each other, along with a dozen other adults, until you know you're going to try to make it work.
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quince
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Post by quince on Jan 23, 2015 14:22:06 GMT -5
I didn't think the relationship would go anywhere, but I tried to be as honest as possible as things came up. I have some massive anxiety issues, and within a couple of dates I related that. (So romantic, discussion of mental health abnormalities.)
Finances came up as soon as it looked like they would impact him: When we discussed moving in together. I regretted not bringing that up earlier.
Hope I never have to go through "getting to know you" ever again,.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jan 23, 2015 14:28:17 GMT -5
Good thing Beer isn't here to hear you say that.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 14:29:42 GMT -5
But you don't know what's a dealbreaker to every person. Are you going to compile a list of everything about you that could be considered a dealbreaker, bring it on your first date with the person, and read it all off to them? That's why I said if you think it can be a dealbreaker - tell.
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 14:33:52 GMT -5
Heels, shmeels...you have an attitude girl! I am done helping you here. Anyuone else need sound advice on dating (except Bob Ross)? Lol you have an attitude too loony so it doesn't bother me that you think I do. It's logical to take the things you really didn't like in previous relationships and not want that in your next. I am allowed to have an attitude, I am MARRIED!!! Before I got him - I had an attitude of making dinner, wraping it into several newspapers, cover with pillow and comforter so if I am not home and he comes home - he has a hot dinner without having to warm it up. Yeah, and all the physical exercises his choice. Then I got pregnant! -whip2-and life had never been the same (for him of course)...See? Read and learn!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 23, 2015 14:37:59 GMT -5
I didn't think the relationship would go anywhere, but I tried to be as honest as possible as things came up. I have some massive anxiety issues, and within a couple of dates I related that. (So romantic, discussion of mental health abnormalities.) Finances came up as soon as it looked like they would impact him: When we discussed moving in together. I regretted not bringing that up earlier. Hope I never have to go through "getting to know you" ever again,. Kidding? I would love me some getting to know someone...
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Jan 23, 2015 14:38:55 GMT -5
Lol you have an attitude too loony so it doesn't bother me that you think I do. It's logical to take the things you really didn't like in previous relationships and not want that in your next. I am allowed to have an attitude, I am MARRIED!!! Before I got him - I had an attitude of making dinner, wraping it into several newspapers, cover with pillow and comforter so if I am not home and he comes home - he has a hot dinner without having to warm it up. .... What?!
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jan 23, 2015 14:39:12 GMT -5
I used to not like short guys. DH is 5'6". I'm glad I changed my "dealbreaker." Most days.......
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jan 23, 2015 14:41:56 GMT -5
I never thought thought I would marry a smoker. Disgusting. But I did. And she eventually quit.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 23, 2015 15:10:49 GMT -5
Good thing I said I only prefer taller. Geeze Louise! Getting lambasted for the things I say I prefer and what I'm looking for.
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