Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 10:06:24 GMT -5
I believe if a man is interested in you, he'll let you know loud and clear. One of the things I remember most clearly about the beginning of my current relationship is that we sent over 2000 text messages in the first day after exchanging phone numbers. We began each day texting and ended each day texting, it was essentially a neverending conversation as we got to know each other. 2000 text in one day? Says unemployed & obsessive to me. I get annoyed if people call or text non emergency while at work. I guess no guy for me since I would think crazy for texting too much!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 16:43:55 GMT -5
I believe if a man is interested in you, he'll let you know loud and clear. One of the things I remember most clearly about the beginning of my current relationship is that we sent over 2000 text messages in the first day after exchanging phone numbers. We began each day texting and ended each day texting, it was essentially a neverending conversation as we got to know each other. 2000 text in one day? Says unemployed & obsessive to me. I get annoyed if people call or text non emergency while at work. I guess no guy for me since I would think crazy for texting too much! Yeah, that is pretty nuts. Figure 125 every waking hour. 2 a minute for 16 hours? Yikes. My ex and I WERE seriously obsessed with each other the first 6 months or so, but I can't imagine 2000 texts in a day.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 26, 2014 17:15:15 GMT -5
That's crazy. And I thought my approx 6000 a month with my ex was crazy! And we were texting non stop. It's how his mom knew he found a girl because they were on a family plan and saw the spike in his texts. I miss that.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 27, 2014 4:03:24 GMT -5
I believe if a man is interested in you, he'll let you know loud and clear. One of the things I remember most clearly about the beginning of my current relationship is that we sent over 2000 text messages in the first day after exchanging phone numbers. We began each day texting and ended each day texting, it was essentially a neverending conversation as we got to know each other. 2000 text in one day? Says unemployed & obsessive to me. I get annoyed if people call or text non emergency while at work. I guess no guy for me since I would think crazy for texting too much! We were both gainfully employed at the time, and are still with the same companies. She works in tech support, and the corporation where she works doesn't like people chatting on Facebook, which is where we first started chatting that day (she was a friend of a friend on FB, although we had already met in person a few times). She told me having her FB up on her computer looked bad, but texting on phones was okay there, because it was how everyone communicated, and gave me her phone number. So we switched to texting. It sounds like a lot of messages, but it isn't when you consider that many of the messages were one-word yes or no answers to questions. The texts slowed down somewhat over the next few days, down to a few hundred a day, mainly because we started talking on the phone more and dating. I do remember that after a month, we hit over 10,000 texts in the conversation, and that is when I found out what the message limit was for a conversation on my phone. I just checked my phone. My current conversation with her is over 5k messages long, and began May 7.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Dec 27, 2014 9:49:50 GMT -5
There are, per one hundred, 91 employed men for the 78 women who consider it as very important.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2014 15:01:32 GMT -5
2000 text in one day? Says unemployed & obsessive to me. I get annoyed if people call or text non emergency while at work. I guess no guy for me since I would think crazy for texting too much! We were both gainfully employed at the time, and are still with the same companies. She works in tech support, and the corporation where she works doesn't like people chatting on Facebook, which is where we first started chatting that day (she was a friend of a friend on FB, although we had already met in person a few times). She told me having her FB up on her computer looked bad, but texting on phones was okay there, because it was how everyone communicated, and gave me her phone number. So we switched to texting. It sounds like a lot of messages, but it isn't when you consider that many of the messages were one-word yes or no answers to questions. The texts slowed down somewhat over the next few days, down to a few hundred a day, mainly because we started talking on the phone more and dating. I do remember that after a month, we hit over 10,000 texts in the conversation, and that is when I found out what the message limit was for a conversation on my phone. I just checked my phone. My current conversation with her is over 5k messages long, and began May 7. I never survive someone that needy. I stick with no guy for me. I get mad for 5 texts during work hours!
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 27, 2014 17:35:37 GMT -5
I never survive someone that needy. I stick with no guy for me. I get mad for 5 texts during work hours! Needy? She is one of the most self-secure and confident women I know. I think you have forgotten what it is like to meet someone new, and be excited about a relationship. She is in a position where she sometimes has downtime at work, and she was bored that day, so we were texting. Judging by your posts, I'm guessing you have been single for quite a while.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 27, 2014 18:07:33 GMT -5
No matter how new I have not time to spend 10 hours of day texting! Oh, I so burned!! I run lots of meeting so there never be that many hours to read and answer in the day for me.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Dec 29, 2014 13:10:26 GMT -5
Sorry it didn't work out, t-dog. The point about there not being enough men out there is a valid one. I explained to my GF once that I think one of the reasons some women pursue taken men is because their aren't enough other options out there. The lack of numbers makes some women desperate, desperate enough that they'll destroy another women's relationship in an attempt to claim what they see as a desirable man. I believe if a man is interested in you, he'll let you know loud and clear. One of the things I remember most clearly about the beginning of my current relationship is that we sent over 2000 text messages in the first day after exchanging phone numbers. We began each day texting and ended each day texting, it was essentially a neverending conversation as we got to know each other. We hit one year together Thanksgiving week. Yes, BIL met someone about six weeks ago and he spent all xmas day texting her. It was really cute, and I was really happy he was so obviously infatuated with someone. I hope it works out for him.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Dec 30, 2014 12:31:47 GMT -5
And so I believe I can say this is officially over. Yesterday at noon the man stated he would text when off work and stop by (DS out of town with his cousins). Never heard from him and as of this point today still haven't. I just texted something along the lines of "did evil gnomes kidnap you and disable your fingers so you couldn't text a change in plans?" Ok it wasn't quite that harsh, but it definitely let him know that I wasn't pleased with the behavior. I'm guessing I won't hear from him again. And yes, I will admit that makes me sad, but enough is enough.
So who has suggestions on finding single guys when you are in your 40's? The bulk of my time - like upwards of 90% is spent between work and my DS's sporting/school events.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 30, 2014 12:38:23 GMT -5
And so I believe I can say this is officially over. Yesterday at noon the man stated he would text when off work and stop by (DS out of town with his cousins). Never heard from him and as of this point today still haven't. I just texted something along the lines of "did evil gnomes kidnap you and disable your fingers so you couldn't text a change in plans?" Ok it wasn't quite that harsh, but it definitely let him know that I wasn't pleased with the behavior. I'm guessing I won't hear from him again. And yes, I will admit that makes me sad, but enough is enough.
So who has suggestions on finding single guys when you are in your 40's? The bulk of my time - like upwards of 90% is spent between work and my DS's sporting/school events. Sweetie, please realize that this man is not worth any of your time or thoughts. It sucks being single in your 40's but you will be ok. I would much rather be alone that be strung along by some jerk that keeps blowing you off.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Dec 30, 2014 12:42:22 GMT -5
And Miss. T. that is why I sent the text this morning. As I see it, balls in his court and if I don't hear from him again, so be it. I don't actually anticipate that I will hear from him. His 15 year old is moving here from NM on Friday and the 18 year old moving a week later. I am guessing that our paths shall not cross again.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 30, 2014 12:51:35 GMT -5
lol, again - they sense this! Somehow, some way, they always know when you calling done on the situation, and they have to stir the pot again. Sorry he is still pulling that yoyo biz on you. You may think I'm overly cautious, but he is possessive, has been violent, and likes to blame you for everything. With drugs eroding his grey matter, I do really worry. always take the safest bet in any situation with this one. Thank you. If he was in state I would be much more concerned. Which is why I really hope they never ship him here for his warrant. They likely won't unless the warrant-issuing state wants to pay the shipping costs. And it would have to be for a fairly serious charge, like a felony. Or missed child support payments. If it's traffic or minor misdemeanor, the state isn't going to pay for him to return. But that warrant will remain active, in case he is dumb enough to return on his own. And given that his brain appears to be suitably scrambled, you just never know. At least you have ammo in case he does cross the border. He shows up, you call the police and let them know he's around and he has an active warrant.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2014 13:01:02 GMT -5
And Miss. T. that is why I sent the text this morning. As I see it, balls in his court and if I don't hear from him again, so be it. I don't actually anticipate that I will hear from him. His 15 year old is moving here from NM on Friday and the 18 year old moving a week later. I am guessing that our paths shall not cross again. If you do hear from him again, manage to be busy and tell him you'll contact him when convenient. It'll never be convenient. Make sure it's NEVER convenient.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Dec 30, 2014 13:01:40 GMT -5
This was the situation my mom found herself in.
She has had two relationships that I know of -- both guys she met through a friend (her neighbor). He runs a catering business and is always throwing huge backyard barbeques. Apparently one of his single friends seemed like someone my mom would like, so neighbor kind of pushed them together and they started hanging out after that. Neither relationship is still intact, but she dated the most recent guy for about 3 years.
I hate trying to play matchmaker, but if you have friends who are good at that sort of thing, you might give it a shot.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Dec 30, 2014 13:02:43 GMT -5
LOL @ezzie...that is evil but genius.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Dec 30, 2014 13:03:37 GMT -5
@midjd - unfortunately most of my closest friends live out of town or state.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 30, 2014 13:31:39 GMT -5
And Miss. T. that is why I sent the text this morning. As I see it, balls in his court and if I don't hear from him again, so be it. I don't actually anticipate that I will hear from him. His 15 year old is moving here from NM on Friday and the 18 year old moving a week later. I am guessing that our paths shall not cross again. The ball is NOT in his court. The ball is in YOUR court. You deserve much better than the way he has been treating you.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2014 13:38:08 GMT -5
Better off alone than with an inconsiderate jerk. If he acts like this now, in the dating stage, it won't get better. He's just not for you.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 30, 2014 13:43:58 GMT -5
And so I believe I can say this is officially over. Yesterday at noon the man stated he would text when off work and stop by (DS out of town with his cousins). Never heard from him and as of this point today still haven't. I just texted something along the lines of "did evil gnomes kidnap you and disable your fingers so you couldn't text a change in plans?" Ok it wasn't quite that harsh, but it definitely let him know that I wasn't pleased with the behavior. I'm guessing I won't hear from him again. And yes, I will admit that makes me sad, but enough is enough.
So who has suggestions on finding single guys when you are in your 40's? The bulk of my time - like upwards of 90% is spent between work and my DS's sporting/school events. Oh you'll hear from him again. When he needs and ego boost he'll message you. Just like my ex did almost a year later and he was in a relationship. I ignored it, haven't heard from him since and it's been months. Normally if I responded when I was bored I couldn't shake him from texting for months.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Dec 30, 2014 13:46:31 GMT -5
And so I believe I can say this is officially over. Yesterday at noon the man stated he would text when off work and stop by (DS out of town with his cousins). Never heard from him and as of this point today still haven't. I just texted something along the lines of "did evil gnomes kidnap you and disable your fingers so you couldn't text a change in plans?" Ok it wasn't quite that harsh, but it definitely let him know that I wasn't pleased with the behavior. I'm guessing I won't hear from him again. And yes, I will admit that makes me sad, but enough is enough.
So who has suggestions on finding single guys when you are in your 40's? The bulk of my time - like upwards of 90% is spent between work and my DS's sporting/school events. Here are some of the places my middle-aged single girlfriends have found husbands/boyfriends:
* church (I know this is not for everyone) * the gym * cooking classes and other community classes * Parents Without Partners * a bereavement support group * alumni association mixers/alumni sport-watching parties * volunteer work (on a Habitat for Humanity build!)
Is volunteering to work the snack shack or other activity at DS's sporting events a possibility? Can you get some training and become a referee or umpire? It's a good way to meet single dads
Good luck to you!
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Dec 30, 2014 13:59:15 GMT -5
oh kittensaver I have been in charge of all the volunteers for Little League for the past 3 years - no luck there. I can't tell you how many hours I worked in the snack shack. This year I am in charge of the snack table for the basketball league.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 30, 2014 20:31:44 GMT -5
So who has suggestions on finding single guys when you are in your 40's? The bulk of my time - like upwards of 90% is spent between work and my DS's sporting/school events. It will sound weird, but I always have guys hit on me in hardware stores. (My sister calls this the "Home Depot Effect".) It's a little puzzling because normally I'm a little disheveled - OK, let's be honest... looking semi-homeless and covered with whatever splatters, dirt, grease, marine caulk, etc. I've been working with, but that doesn't seem to matter. In fact, it just happened again tonight. Stopped by Sears to exchange some rusty Craftsman tools and after a day of working on my boat was not looking IMHO all that great - sunburned, ratty t shirt, troll doll hair. The very cute 20 something tool salesguy tried to pick me up. If I were single and 15 years younger, I would have been very interested.
Anyway, the point isn't that you should rub on some grease and hang out at Home Depot, it's that you're more likely to meet men in places that men like to hang out. So see if there are any places that men like that you also like and start spending more time there. If you volunteer, don't volunteer for the "women" causes, get your butt down to Habitat for Humanity, for example.
Edited to add: Kid related activities are a toss up. Sometimes that's a chance to meet other nice single parents, but it's just as likely that it will be awkward when adding kids to the mix. FWIW, I'd avoid adding more kid related activities as a way to meet guys.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 30, 2014 21:28:11 GMT -5
DS wrestled. Lots of single dads there and parents had to volunteer. Since I was the only parent, I worked with guys. I played co-Ed softball. Tons of guys there. My Habitat experience was old guys or married ones but I bet if I'd have asked them to keep an eye out for someone nice for me, they'd have been happy to.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Dec 30, 2014 23:20:04 GMT -5
There are a lot of single men playing online video games. A pretty high percent of them have respectable jobs and aren't your stereotypical kid living in the basement. My guild has a men of all ages that work in IT, some military, road construction, and one guy is playing from an oil derrick out in the ocean.
Also you may want to mention to your hair dresser that you are looking around, mine is always setting people up.
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beergut
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Post by beergut on Dec 31, 2014 2:49:29 GMT -5
My GF is in her 40s. Other than having to dissuade her of her belief that she 'cougared' me (I'm too old to be cougared, she just likes to tease me about my age), the slight age difference hasn't been an issue at all. I met her through some friends at a bar I went to every Tuesday night to listen to a friend play country music. Some of her friends became my friends because I was always asking them to dance every Tuesday. I met her through her friends (and danced with her several times), and the second time we ran into each other, we talked a lot and she made sure to friend me on Facebook. I went out of town that weekend, got in contact with her the following Monday, and the rest is history. I realize the chances of meeting someone in a bar are really low, but it is one place men hang out. And if you like to dance, it is an easy place to meet guys.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Dec 31, 2014 13:53:30 GMT -5
My first thought is to look at friends of friends, ask if they know any single male friends.
The bar isn't that bad of place to look, if you frequent one and know a lot of people, a lot of men aren't just looking for hook ups.
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