t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
|
Post by t-dog on Dec 8, 2014 16:37:45 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on Dec 8, 2014 16:48:52 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
Seriously!?! After all these years on this rock you have to ask this question? Men do not communicate. You have to pry every thought, feeling, and fear out of them. I'm glad things were great but YOU need to let him know a quick word every now and then will go a long way to letting you know you two are still good.
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,380
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Dec 8, 2014 16:51:28 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
There is only one thing that destresses dudes...
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Dec 8, 2014 16:53:47 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
There is only one thing that destresses dudes... And you're going to be doing a lot of that if he gets that stressed out by working 50 hours a week and dealing with a move (not that those things aren't stressful, but they're not crazy unusual, uncommon or unexpected....)
|
|
dannylion
Junior Associate
Gravity is a harsh mistress
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 12:17:52 GMT -5
Posts: 5,213
Location: Miles over the madness horizon and accelerating
|
Post by dannylion on Dec 8, 2014 16:55:56 GMT -5
It might be a matter of social skills and not understanding the dynamics of communication. Despite my mother's best efforts, I am still socially awkward, but Mom did manage to instill in me always to express gratitude when warranted (and sometimes even when it's not), always RSVP, always send thank-you notes, and that barring extraordinary offense or other extenuating circumstance, communication from people you know requires a response, even if it's "Sorry, I'm just overwhelmed right now and need to focus on my work/family/pet ostrich." I still assume everyone's mother was like mine, so I would have interpreted his failure to respond as having lost interest and would likely have concluded that he was not interested and closed that chapter. (Full disclosure, in my case, that's usually what it means, so maybe I'm not the best judge ). Clearly, that was not the case; it was just a social glitch.
Anyway, I'm glad it turned out well for you. I hope this relationship continues to go well for you.
|
|
NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,692
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
|
Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 8, 2014 16:58:06 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
Move where? Are the kids moving out on him, or moving in with him? Just asking, because either way, if you are still really into this guy, it affects the dynamic of things. The kids moving thing may make the 100 hours of work seem like a picnic in comparison. And I think women do handle stress better, because 1) we're expected to absorb more of it in terms of everyday stuff and 2) we're more communicative as to our limits. We know when to fold 'em and get the heck outta Dodge when Dodge turns into Crazytown.
|
|
kent
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:13:46 GMT -5
Posts: 3,594
|
Post by kent on Dec 8, 2014 17:12:12 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
We only communicate meaningful info - no "clutter" involving unrelated stuff.
|
|
ken a.k.a OMK
Senior Associate
They killed Kenny, the bastards.
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 14:39:20 GMT -5
Posts: 14,235
Location: Maryland
Member is Online
|
Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Dec 8, 2014 17:18:52 GMT -5
And they should learn how to read minds.
|
|
kent
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:13:46 GMT -5
Posts: 3,594
|
Post by kent on Dec 8, 2014 17:21:23 GMT -5
And they should learn how to read minds. Yep
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,912
|
Post by zibazinski on Dec 8, 2014 17:21:47 GMT -5
I'm not into games anymore. No one is so busy they can't call or email or send a text, if they're interested. I'd keep looking and not be as available. Not saying don't see him but don't count on him, either.
|
|
t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
|
Post by t-dog on Dec 8, 2014 17:30:06 GMT -5
to answer - kids are moving in with him and leaving mom in another state. Only 1 is really still a kid - but the other is most likely going to be starting college (over 18 and out of high school).
And yes, a simple "hey, I am really slammed at work this week" would have been nice. Oie!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 11, 2024 8:26:17 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2014 17:35:55 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
Not all men are like that, and the ones that are aren't like that with everyone. Glad you had a good time but this qualifies as a red flag.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 38,231
|
Post by billisonboard on Dec 8, 2014 17:52:32 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? ... Loving concern for women.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Dec 8, 2014 17:53:26 GMT -5
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 42,246
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Dec 8, 2014 18:19:04 GMT -5
Agreed. Everyone has their own style, even men. And I also think it depends what kind of stress.
|
|
t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
|
Post by t-dog on Dec 8, 2014 18:28:31 GMT -5
Well, we shall see where it goes. Its just nice to have some attention after 5-years of being totally kid focused.
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Dec 8, 2014 18:33:05 GMT -5
100 hrs in two weeks?
Like, 50 hrs a week?
As in, a normal FT salary job?
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Dec 8, 2014 18:43:06 GMT -5
And yes, a simple "hey, I am really slammed at work this week" would have been nice. Oie! I missed the whining you speak of, so what happened? Does he just kind of disappear for a while & you don't hear from him? Or did he miss a date?
Sometimes that can be overlooked, but isn't this the same guy that also disappeared after the first date (or maybe this is the whining you referred to)? That seems to be a pattern & would start to bother me.
And yes, men suck & don't communicate. But, I'm glad you had fun
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,768
|
Post by thyme4change on Dec 8, 2014 18:50:02 GMT -5
Ok so since I have whined to you all, thought I'd update you. Saw the ostrich on Sat night and it was fantastic. Why do men not communicate when they are stressed out? Seems he was working (100 hours in 2 weeks) and a bit freaked by impending move of 1 if not both of his kids (had to find house to rent etc...) I am beginning to think women handle stress better.
Seriously!?! After all these years on this rock you have to ask this question? Men do not communicate. You have to pry every thought, feeling, and fear out of them. I'm glad things were great but YOU need to let him know a quick word every now and then will go a long way to letting you know you two are still good. LOL - my husband is an oversharer and is always prodding me for not telling him enough.
|
|
t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
|
Post by t-dog on Dec 8, 2014 19:12:13 GMT -5
Angel - he just went into what I refer as ostrich mode and was totally silent. And it was fun and there was discussion of next get together, so I do just think it was being stressed out and his natural turtle like response to it.
Apparently I am all for the animal analogies today...
|
|
t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
|
Post by t-dog on Dec 8, 2014 19:13:21 GMT -5
Thyme - I am generally on the quiet side too, but I have been trying to overcome my own natural turtle tendencies.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 38,231
|
Post by billisonboard on Dec 8, 2014 19:15:42 GMT -5
... his natural turtle like response to it. ... Or is it a desire to not add his stress to the life of someone that he cares about?
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Dec 8, 2014 19:21:40 GMT -5
... his natural turtle like response to it. ... Or is it a desire to not add his stress to the life of someone that he cares about? . . . or he didn't think twice/it never occurred to him to do anything BUT "check out" because he really doesn't care that much so why would he bother to say something?
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,768
|
Post by thyme4change on Dec 8, 2014 19:23:32 GMT -5
Thyme - I am generally on the quiet side too, but I have been trying to overcome my own natural turtle tendencies. I have just found myself to be really boring - so no need to inflict that on my favorite person in the world.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Dec 8, 2014 19:24:42 GMT -5
Because men are conditioned by society from a very young age that sharing feelings is a weakness, life is best taken stoically. Society doesn't value men who share their feelings, they value men who are tough.
|
|
t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
|
Post by t-dog on Dec 8, 2014 19:29:16 GMT -5
Ok Phoenix I get that - but if it has been made clear to you that someone is interested then why pull a turtle maneuver and just hunker down silently?
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 38,231
|
Post by billisonboard on Dec 8, 2014 19:29:23 GMT -5
Because men are conditioned by society from a very young age that sharing feelings is a weakness, life is best taken stoically. Society doesn't value men who share their feelings, they value men who are tough. Don't be absurd. ... And yes, men suck ... That is all there is to it.
|
|
billisonboard
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:45:44 GMT -5
Posts: 38,231
|
Post by billisonboard on Dec 8, 2014 19:30:49 GMT -5
Ok Phoenix I get that - but if it has been made clear to you that someone is interested then why pull a turtle maneuver and just hunker down silently? So as to not burden them with your problems.
|
|
t-dog
Senior Member
Joined: Mar 17, 2011 13:46:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,016
|
Post by t-dog on Dec 8, 2014 19:32:26 GMT -5
Let me be clear when I say I get that Phoenix - I understand your argument, I don't necessarily agree with it.
Oh well, I am willing to take a chance, it might not work out, but can't be any worse then being alone at this point. If it gets to be worse than being alone that is when I walk.
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Dec 8, 2014 19:33:18 GMT -5
Ok Phoenix I get that - but if it has been made clear to you that someone is interested then why pull a turtle maneuver and just hunker down silently? I agree with this. If you care about someone and want to be in *some* kind of relationship with them - even (or should I say especially) if it is early in the relationship - why would you simply "go silent" and leave the other person hanging? NOT a good move if one is serious about wanting to connect to another/be in a relationship.
|
|