Screaming Kids in Restaurants

[gacpa]

We went out to dinner a BBQ place this afternoon.  After we were seated, a child set up a fierce screaming and did not stop.  As soon as the waitress came over to take our order, we asked for a different table. 

What say you, am I a terrible person because I did not want to listen to someone else's child scream through dinner?  I like kids and I even had one myself, but when does this situation "cross the line" and make it OK for us to be seated in a different area away from the screaming kid whose parents were doing nothing to stop him/her?

Your thoughts, please?

[Shooby]

No, you are not wrong. If you arent' happy with your seating then by all means speak up or get up and leave if you find that to be a nuiscance.

As for kids, when my son was little, he was a thrower. We had stopped at Perkins and the waitress came and brought us a glass of water and then some crayons. My son decided to pitch a hissy at that very moment, he picked up the crayons and tossed them and then we scooped him up and got up and left, lol.

[Shooby]

I am to the point that I want to enjoy my meal. I don't want to feel agitated. So, if the seat me directly under the AC or something , I am going to ask to be moved because I find that uncomfortable. And, if there was some uncomfortable situation, then I would decide I am either not going to let it bother me and go ahead and enjoy my dinner but if it is going to bother me, then no sense staying and being miserable so might as well leave.

[NancysSummerSip]

Sept 28, 2014 17:36:47 GMT -5 gacpa said:

We went out to dinner a BBQ place this afternoon.  After we were seated, a child set up a fierce screaming and did not stop.  As soon as the waitress came over to take our order, we asked for a different table. 

What say you, am I a terrible person because I did not want to listen to someone else's child scream through dinner?  I like kids and I even had one myself, but when does this situation "cross the line" and make it OK for us to be seated in a different area away from the screaming kid whose parents were doing nothing to stop him/her?

Your thoughts, please?

Hey, it could have been worse. You could have asked your server if there was room in the BBQ pit for the kid. That'll get Child Protection Services on you.

On the serious side, no, you are not wrong. Parents who either cannot exert control or will not take the little darlings outside for whatever constitutes a good talking to these days are the ones to blame. Kids don't automatically know how to behave. They have to be trained. Too many parents want to grant their little angels complete freedom of expression in public, or they're too busy on their damned electronic devices to care.

[chiver78]

Sept 28, 2014 17:40:23 GMT -5 Shooby said:

I am to the point that I want to enjoy my meal.

and where is this point in relation to where you were when you had kids that might not behave appropriately?

to the OP's point, I don't think you were out of line. it sounds like you asked to be relocated before your waitress had any impact on you, or her own record for the night if there wasn't a tab already. I wouldn't sweat your decision to ask to be reseated.

[NancysSummerSip]

Sept 28, 2014 18:05:20 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 28, 2014 17:40:23 GMT -5 Shooby said:

I am to the point that I want to enjoy my meal.

and where is this point in relation to where you were when you had kids that might not behave appropriately?

<<snort>>

[Shooby]

OK? I am just trying to answer the OP but if you want to dog on me, then whatever.

[drivingaround]

Totally okay with requesting to be moved. Unless it is a fast food place I zero tolerance for screaming kids and although sympathize parents can't control their behavior they are responsible for remediating the situation so others aren't impacted. We've all seen kids who are perfectly happy go lucky then in a split second go to screaming mad. Eating out with kids is a crapshoot!  Last weekend was at a sit down place, not expensive but probably $30/plate before beverages, and a couple just let their two year old wander the restaurant saying hi to all the patrons.  The kid didn't want to sit in the booster seat.  Some of the patrons were giving the parents looks but they were oblivious, just laughing and eating as if the other 75 patrons were cool with watching their kid.

[Tennesseer]

Was this the same restaurant where a poster saw a couple doing 'it' in the water by the restaurant?  If so, I would have told the couple with the screaming kid to take the child outside because there was some interesting family  'wrestling' to watch.

If not then same restaurant, you were within your dining rights to ask for a different table.

[TheOtherMe]

Unless it's fast food, I won't put up with screaming kids next to me.  I will move to another table if the parents don't have the sense to get their food to go and leave.  I'm not listening to that while I eat.  

It's a big enough problem having to listen to cell phone conversations.  

[alabamagal]

I don't think it is a problem to ask to move if the atmosphere is really bad.

My worst experience was at a Chili's while we were on the road.  Was sat at a large booth with my adult kids.  After our food was out, a family was seated behind us, behind the bench I was on.  Guy and his pregnant wife with 4 kids under 6.  I heard her tell the waitress she had twins on the way.  The kids were ok, a little loud but no screaming or throwing food.  Then along comes a clown (working for the restaurant) who proceeds to be loud and obnoxious and starts making balloon animals.  Making balloon animals is kind of squeaky.  Of course he has to make one for each of the kids.  Then one of the balloons POPs.  Did I mention I hate loud noises.

I totally blame the restaurant and the clown!

[Deleted]

We were at Cracker Barrel yesterday and experienced this.

Some of it goes with the territory.  If you eat at a restaurant like CB, you are expecting a family atmosphere.  Kids have melt-downs.  The parents in our story eventually took the kid out but returned with him/her still screaming.  They tried.  No one goes to CB for a quiet lunch or dinner, anyway.  The design of the restaurant amplifies every sound. 

Now I would be upset if I went to what I consider a primarily adult restaurant and this happened.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Snort. 

DH took the kids and his parents out to dinner on Sat. night while I was out of town.  It didn't go well.  At all.  The saving grace is that there were very few tables occupied.  Also the kids weren't super noisy/screaming/moving around, but they apparently were extremely irritating to DH and his parents. This is a place we eat at about every 6 weeks so the staff knows us.  They apparently sympathized too. 

[happyhoix]

Depends on the restaurant.

Inexpensive to low priced family restaurant I probably wouldn't have done anything. It wouldn't take me that long to eat and get out of there.

Expensive place where I intend to dine slowly and enjoy the meal by having a conversation with my tablemates and the kid is screaming non-stop - I would probably ask for a different table.

I never understood why people took their small kids to fancy restaurants. The kids are just as happy with mac and cheese or chicken nuggets, and they're going to get restless sitting there waiting on dinner to be served. If you kids starts to wail and you have to get up and take him outside for a bit, your expensive dinner is sitting there getting cold.

Just hire a sitter.

[Shooby]

Everyone says "Just hire a sitter". Well, sorry, but it isn't really that simple. And, no I am not going to leave my kids with a stranger. There aren't many kids that babysit around here that I know of. So, we just didn't bother to go out.

[Deleted]

Sept 28, 2014 19:01:01 GMT -5 drivingaround said:

 Last weekend was at a sit down place, not expensive but probably $30/plate before beverages, and a couple just let their two year old wander the restaurant saying hi to all the patrons.  The kid didn't want to sit in the booster seat.  Some of the patrons were giving the parents looks but they were oblivious, just laughing and eating as if the other 75 patrons were cool with watching their kid.

That was a failure on the part of the staff, too.  They should have told the parents that they can't let a kid that small wander all over because someone carrying a tray of hot food isn't looking for a small person underfoot and might trip over her.  The few times my Ex and I ate in decent restaurants with DS when he was little, if he got restless, one of us took him away from the table- outside if appropriate, for a walk over to where he could watch the cooks if it was a place with an open kitchen, etc.  Kids will be kids, but parents have to take some responsibility.

And yes, I agree that the OP was right in asking to be moved.

[happyhoix]

Sept 29, 2014 7:14:39 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Everyone says "Just hire a sitter". Well, sorry, but it isn't really that simple. And, no I am not going to leave my kids with a stranger. There aren't many kids that babysit around here that I know of. So, we just didn't bother to go out.

Not going out is an option, too.

DH and I rarely hired a sitter, for occasional more formal things we asked grandma to babysit, but most of the time we found a restaurant suited to his maturity level, so for years we didn't go anything more fancy than fast food restaurants. I think we had used a paid sitter maybe 3 times in his life.

But if you really enjoy goumet food in swanky restaurants, it would be better to hire a sitter than drag Jr kicking and screaming with you.

[Shooby]

Usually, the parents that allow that really don't care about tromping all over other people. So, there may be very little that the wait staff can do.

[whoisjohngalt]

I don't care what restaurant it is (although, I have a hard time calling McD a "restaurant") - your kid is screaming, you have to leave.

Unless you are in a Sahara desert, there ARE different ways to get that precious nutrition in your precious child.

I have less than zero interest  listening to any kid scream.

[sarcasticgirl]

We have left restaurants because of screaming children. I don't think you were wrong at all. It amazes me what parents can "ignore" when they take their little angels out in public. Running around tables, standing in their chairs, screaming, throwing things etc.
I was at brunch yesterday and a couple had their little girl with them. She kept throwing her silverware on the floor in the aisle where the waitstaff was walking. Once, it hit the back of my friend's chair. No less than 4 times someone else picked up the utensil and the mother asked for a clean one. She never reprimanded the child. It was so obnoxious...if you can't keep you child from throwing her spoon repeatedly she can eat with the dirty one!

Sent from my HTC One_M8 using proboards

[Shooby]

I have run into far more loud, boorish obnoxious adults in restaurants than kids.

[ArchietheDragon]

I am on both sides of the fence.   On one side you are a paying customer so of course you have the right to ask to have your table moved for any number of reasons, not the least of which is screaming kids at the table next door.   On the other hand parents with kids are also paying customers who have the right to go out to dinner. 

We went out to a fairly nice dinner for my mom's birthday one time and our kids were being too loud.  The woman behind us kept giving us the dirtiest of looks and then we overheard her telling her date "this is what they make babysitters for."  I thought my wife was going to jump over the table and beat the woman with a bread stick. 

[happyhoix]

I had a similar experience at a Cracker Barrel, I had lunch with a friend who brought her two young kids, and the youngest (about 2) sat there the whole time beating the tray of her seat with a spoon. Loudly.  People all around us would turn occasionally and glare - I was mortified.

I had to resist the urge to grab the spoon of her hand and put it out of her reach. Not only did her mom not mind the noise, when the girl dropped the spoon, mom handed her the fork so she could keep banging.

Very last time I met her for lunch - ever.

[trippypea]

I don't think that just because a restaurant is a 'family restaurant', common decency rules don't apply. I have a family too, and if my family can manage to sit down and eat a meal in a restaurant without screaming our heads off and running between the tables, other families can too. And if they can't, and you don't have a babysitter, then that is too bad and you stay home until the kids have some self-control.

The problem is that we live in a 'me' society, and many people just don't give a damn about how their actions affect the next person. And that is what they are teaching their children...

[The Captain]

So the fact that they are a paying customer justifies in some parent's minds the fact that they are "entitled" to let their kids ruin every-other-adult's dinner?

Really?

[whoisjohngalt]

Sept 29, 2014 7:47:04 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I am on both sides of the fence.   On one side you are a paying customer so of course you have the right to ask to have your table moved for any number of reasons, not the least of which is screaming kids at the table next door.   On the other hand parents with kids are also paying customers who have the right to go out to dinner. 

We went out to a fairly nice dinner for my mom's birthday one time and our kids were being too loud.  The woman behind us kept giving us the dirtiest of looks and then we overheard her telling her date "this is what they make babysitters for."  I thought my wife was going to jump over the table and beat the woman with a bread stick. 

 I must have missed a memo where going out to dinner became a right.

Instead of trying to hit the woman with a breadstick, you wife would have been better off trying to keep your kids less loud

[ArchietheDragon]

Sept 29, 2014 8:08:36 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

Sept 29, 2014 7:47:04 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I am on both sides of the fence.   On one side you are a paying customer so of course you have the right to ask to have your table moved for any number of reasons, not the least of which is screaming kids at the table next door.   On the other hand parents with kids are also paying customers who have the right to go out to dinner. 

We went out to a fairly nice dinner for my mom's birthday one time and our kids were being too loud.  The woman behind us kept giving us the dirtiest of looks and then we overheard her telling her date "this is what they make babysitters for."  I thought my wife was going to jump over the table and beat the woman with a bread stick. 

 I must have missed a memo where going out to dinner became a right.

Instead of trying to hit the woman with a breadstick, you wife would have been better off trying to keep your kids less loud

Hitting the woman would have been much more fun.   We have as much right as anyone else to go out to dinner.  Not sure when that right was taken away. 

[tloonya]

Sept 29, 2014 7:47:04 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I am on both sides of the fence.   On one side you are a paying customer so of course you have the right to ask to have your table moved for any number of reasons, not the least of which is screaming kids at the table next door.   On the other hand parents with kids are also paying customers who have the right to go out to dinner. 

We went out to a fairly nice dinner for my mom's birthday one time and our kids were being too loud.  The woman behind us kept giving us the dirtiest of looks and then we overheard her telling her date "this is what they make babysitters for."  I thought my wife was going to jump over the table and beat the woman with a bread stick. 

Hmmm...I do not really want to hear anything screaming or throwing or kicking while I am enjoying my dinner.
This is why I am dining (lunching and breakfasting in a privacy of my own bedroom (sorry, it is another story why bedroom)).his/her ea

However if I was going out to dinner and knowing that I have a very bitchy and sensitive to noises personality - I would choose some upscale restaurant where there is normally no small children allowed.

I would also stood up and ask who is parents and yelled at his/her ear so they have an idea. So there so many outlooks on this problem.

[The Captain]

Sept 29, 2014 8:10:05 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Sept 29, 2014 8:08:36 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

 I must have missed a memo where going out to dinner became a right.

Instead of trying to hit the woman with a breadstick, you wife would have been better off trying to keep your kids less loud

Hitting the woman would have been much more fun.   We have as much right as anyone else to go out to dinner.  Not sure when that right was taken away. 

Perhaps the moment you decided not to control your kids in public?

[Wisconsin Beth]

Sept 29, 2014 8:10:05 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Sept 29, 2014 8:08:36 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

 I must have missed a memo where going out to dinner became a right.

Instead of trying to hit the woman with a breadstick, you wife would have been better off trying to keep your kids less loud

Hitting the woman would have been much more fun.   We have as much right as anyone else to go out to dinner.  Not sure when that right was taken away. 

It's not been.  But my rights end where someone else's begin.  And that's the grey area is.  Where does my right to take my kids out to dinner end and here does someone else's right to eat out begin?