gacpa
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Post by gacpa on Sept 15, 2014 15:48:14 GMT -5
Giving you all the cyber positive energy I can muster. We are all here for you. After the pain of this subsides, your future will be so bright. You deserve the very best of life, which does not include this behavior by your STBX.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Sept 15, 2014 15:56:28 GMT -5
We should probably apologize to Hurley for turning her thread into, well, this. And I'm sorry Hurley but my fingers seem to have decided independently of my brain to type Hunley and I'm not sure I'm always catching it. We're making her feel better..... or scarring her for life.... it's all good intentions
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Sept 15, 2014 15:58:16 GMT -5
We should probably apologize to Hurley for turning her thread into, well, this. And I'm sorry Hurley but my fingers seem to have decided independently of my brain to type Hunley and I'm not sure I'm always catching it. Don't feel bad! The humor is much appreciated right now. you guys are great! Just a reminder that the interweb crazies love you too
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 15, 2014 16:01:45 GMT -5
Hurley - I believe you are not far from me and I am in the legal field (not divorce law) - so might be able to provide you some referrals if you need them.
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hurley1980
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I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
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Post by hurley1980 on Sept 15, 2014 16:02:43 GMT -5
That would be awesome t-dog!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 15, 2014 16:11:39 GMT -5
I've started typing this like ten different times... I just have to know. I'm going to apologize up front, but I have to know. He fooled around with your MOH and best friend, if you have a sister have you checked with her to see if he went for the ultimate douche bag hat trick? You might be divorcing like the king of the douche bag assholes. You could have like an entire lifetime of the ultimate my ex was worse than your ex trump cards to play. Like Jerry Springer level asshole. Not good if it's true, but if she's looking for some revenge, she'd certainly have more than enough ammunition if he hits the douchecanoe tripleheader.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Sept 15, 2014 16:14:07 GMT -5
HELL YEAH to both.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 15, 2014 16:20:42 GMT -5
I'm so sorry, hurley1980. You're *almost* close enough that I can invite you out for a happy hour. Maybe us West Coasters can throw you a "Happy Divorce" party? FWIW I'm glad you've got your buddy, as much as it doubly sucks for him to have a kid with the cheating loser. Sounds like you guys go way back - you can cheer each other up and be there for one another. That's a good thing.
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t-dog
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Post by t-dog on Sept 15, 2014 16:23:08 GMT -5
Hurley - Check your PM's. Fire, time for you and the bay folks to come to the capital so we can raise a glass to Hurley.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 15, 2014 16:31:09 GMT -5
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 15, 2014 16:32:13 GMT -5
We could always combine it with my kid's birthday party next month, I'm sure I can scrounge up an extra princess crown for Hurley
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 15, 2014 16:34:12 GMT -5
Don't you just love friends who tell you this shit after you're going through your divorce? Both DF and I went through this. Nice friends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 16:35:30 GMT -5
I totally agree, Zib. But at least it helped her accept the divorce and turn the page.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 15, 2014 16:36:53 GMT -5
True but it hurt even more to think I had friends who really weren't.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 16:38:24 GMT -5
Of course. I can't even believe women do that to each other, but that's another issue.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 15, 2014 16:39:56 GMT -5
I agree completely, zibazinski. If a friend's husband "crossed the line" with me (whatever the hell that means) she'd be hearing about it FROM ME the following day if not that very night. If she wants to hear his side, she can ask him. Screw not rocking the boat or whatever. How can you call yourself a friend and keep something like that to yourself?
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 15, 2014 16:42:40 GMT -5
So sorry! But you know you are better off without him!
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hurley1980
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I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
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Post by hurley1980 on Sept 15, 2014 16:44:49 GMT -5
I've started typing this like ten different times... I just have to know. I'm going to apologize up front, but I have to know. He fooled around with your MOH and best friend, if you have a sister have you checked with her to see if he went for the ultimate douche bag hat trick? You might be divorcing like the king of the douche bag assholes. You could have like an entire lifetime of the ultimate my ex was worse than your ex trump cards to play. Like Jerry Springer level asshole. He never fooled around with my MOH, I just found them having some very inappropriate text conversations a couple of months after we married. And they talked to each other more than her and I talked. I think it had the potential to go further, but I threw a fit when I found out what they were saying to each other, and they stopped. I still stopped talking to her though. She is married as well, and her DH threatened to leave her and take the kids.
My DH WAS fooling around with my BFF's wife, who was a very close friend of mine as well obviously. She was supposed to be one of my bridesmaids, but we went with just a best mad and MOH. My BFF and his wife were so close with me and my hubby, that they actually stayed in our hotel room with us on our wedding night. We had a suite, and we only get to see them so often since they live 3 hours away, so we just asked them to stay and party with us. Its not like we were virgins, my DH and I. lol. My DH and my BFF used to go hunting together and fishing. We were all very close.
I do have a sister, but she is 12 hours away, thinks my STBX is the scum of the earth (prob right), he thinks she's a raging bitch (prob right) and her and I don't talk anyway, so no worries there.
Luckily I don't have many more female friends for him to hit on. And all of the rest of my girls, are confident, happy, well adjusted adults. He seems to prey on insecure women in unhappy relationships. What a winner!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 16:46:40 GMT -5
Firebird, I'm a LOT older than you LOL. (So is Zib ) I suspect you might be quite amazed to find out how often certain wives don't want to hear it, or choose to blame the "other woman" instead of blaming their DH. I am guessing that this board attracts a segment of the population that is generally open about themselves and their situations, so you've already got a subset of the population here. That doesn't mean everybody acts like that. And sometimes, it just takes time. Some of us take more time to "wise up" than others.
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hurley1980
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I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
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Post by hurley1980 on Sept 15, 2014 16:47:45 GMT -5
Sorry guys, I'm trying to answer all the questions and give you all the details, but I am work with a deadline this week. Let me know if I missed anything...
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Sept 15, 2014 16:48:34 GMT -5
I agree completely, zibazinski. If a friend's husband "crossed the line" with me (whatever the hell that means) she'd be hearing about it FROM ME the following day if not that very night. If she wants to hear his side, she can ask him. Screw not rocking the boat or whatever. How can you call yourself a friend and keep something like that to yourself? Sometimes you're so shocked by something that you're left wondering if you imagined it or are completely misinterpreting the incident. Add in a little bit of alcohol and its really easy to question yourself. Hindsight after an affair is confirmed makes that interpretation a lot clearer.
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hurley1980
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I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
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Post by hurley1980 on Sept 15, 2014 16:51:11 GMT -5
Of course. I can't even believe women do that to each other, but that's another issue. x 1 million!!!! My mother and I were discussing this over lots of wine this last weekend. I don't understand why there is so much woman on woman crime when it comes to relationships! I am no saint, but I would never think to even touch one of my friends significant others, unless it was a hand shake or a quick hug!
Shit my BFF and I have joked that we have barely hugged the last 5 or so years out of respect for our spouses. lol Not much good that did!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 15, 2014 16:54:49 GMT -5
I suspect you might be quite amazed to find out how often certain wives don't want to hear it, or choose to blame the "other woman" instead of blaming their DH.
Yeah, they don't want to admit they "can't hold onto their man" or whatever. So it's all the other woman's fault.
I could see not telling an acquaintance, PERHAPS, especially if it was the husband of a work colleague at a holiday party or something - that could get dicey. But an actual friend, no question. I'd tell her what happened from my perspective and she could believe me or not.
Girl version of "bros before hos."
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 15, 2014 16:55:25 GMT -5
I think a lot of it has to do with how you're raised. I was always told men come and go but your female friends are forever. I have never poached even when I've wanted to.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Sept 15, 2014 17:00:43 GMT -5
Shit my BFF and I have joked that we have barely hugged the last 5 or so years out of respect for our spouses. lol Not much good that did!
It's too bad you guys aren't attracted to each other because it sounds like you totally deserve each other instead of the jerk and jerkess you married. How did you guys meet? You and your BFF I mean? Do you like his kid? It would be hilarious if you became roomies to save money during the divorces You guys could take the nicer house and leave the other house to the cheating exes.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Sept 15, 2014 17:02:31 GMT -5
I'm sorry Hurley.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 17:02:52 GMT -5
Zib, I was raised the same way. Men come and go, but your friends are forever (and Hurley, one of my forever friends is a guy too).
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 15, 2014 17:03:36 GMT -5
They live in different states.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2014 17:05:03 GMT -5
Firebird I was thinking the same thing LOL! Stranger things have happened, Hurley! My DH was originally a very close friend who wanted to cheer me up after my DH dumped me for an older model. Of course, you're not NEARLY there yet. You need to take it one step at a time, but get your comfort where you can. I'm glad you and your friend have each other.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Sept 15, 2014 17:06:51 GMT -5
Of course. I can't even believe women do that to each other, but that's another issue. Seriously. How could you look your friend in the eye knowing what you are doing behind her back & the pain it would cause? How could you possibly consider yourself a friend at that point? I don't care how cute, nice or whatever the guy is. You don't do that to a friend. And you don't get involved with a guy in a relationship altogether anyway because if he cheats on her, he will cheat on you too.
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