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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 12:49:27 GMT -5
In my experience, listening to what they're told just isn't something most 2 year olds excel at. People started calling it the "Terrible Twos" for a reason. It doesn't start on the exact date of their 2nd birthday and end on their 3rd either. Sorry Archie.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 12:55:34 GMT -5
I didn't start yelling until my oldest was about 4, she's now 6. I haven't yelled at the 2 year old yet. My oldest has been driving me crazy recently, she is so stubborn and doesn't seem to realize that she'll end up doing what I told her to do but after various consequences have been enforced. One particular highlight was when I yelled at the top of my lungs "Stop yelling"!!! Mother of the year award? There's your star. My grandson is 2yo. Sometimes I look at him and think "Thank GOD I'm just his Grandmomma and not his Momma". I love having him around, but maaaan, he keeps you busy.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Aug 19, 2014 12:55:57 GMT -5
Not yelling seems to work for my kid. My idiot brother is forever yelling at his kids to the point now that it doesn't even phase them. They pretty much just tune him out and do their own thing anyway.
My parents weren't bad parents they just didn't spend any one on one time with any of us kids. The first time I went shopping alone, with just my mom, was when I was 31. I didn't eat dinner alone with them until I was married and had a kid. They just never talked to us. There was never a "what do you want to be when you grow up?" discussion. No what's your major going to be? No- What college do you want to go to.
Everything was always just assumed. It was assumed that my sister and I would go to the "family college" (same university that everyone in my family attended) and that we would major in business or accounting. My brothers got to pick their own majors but they also went to the family college. Seriously- I'm not exaggerating here. EVERYONE in my family went to the same small college in the same rinky dink town of 5,000 people. Same town my parents grew up in. Most of the professors/deans were good friends with my grandparents. All of my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. went there- including my parents. I only lasted one semester. My sister and I are the only ones that didn't graduate from there. I transferred and took a long route towards graduation. My sister transferred her senior year to get an accounting degree rather than a generic business degree. When you attend that school with my maiden name (which almost all of us did since my dad has 7 brothers and one sister) it can be a bit overwhelming. When you want to hide in the crowd of a lecture class and the professor makes a point to say "which one of you is Sheila? please tell your grandfather thank you for the round of golf yesterday and I'll see him at our regular poker game tomorrow night". I HATED it and that's why I transferred.
We have had hours upon hours of discussions with the Boy about where he wants to go to school and what he wants to major in. Only direction we've steered him in is STEM (Because that's honestly both his passion and his strength) and that he should focus more on the quality of the program rather than the quality of the dorms.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 19, 2014 13:02:21 GMT -5
The Dragon household has A LOT of yelling these days. Older daughter is driving us crazy and younger daughter doesn't friggen listen. Both Mrs and Mr Dragon yell and yell and yell. I think the yelling part will get better. Some of it is the new baby horomones (well I think for me it was). The girls are adjusting to the change too, it's a lot to handle.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 19, 2014 13:13:23 GMT -5
My parents weren't bad parents they just didn't spend any one on one time with any of us kids. The first time I went shopping alone, with just my mom, was when I was 31. I didn't eat dinner alone with them until I was married and had a kid. They just never talked to us. There was never a "what do you want to be when you grow up?" discussion. No what's your major going to be? No- What college do you want to go to.
The more you talk about your upbringing the more I can really understand why you chose to be one and done.
(I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just very interesting to me - since my upbringing was almost 100% the opposite of this.)
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Aug 19, 2014 13:33:36 GMT -5
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 19, 2014 13:45:19 GMT -5
Well, Archie, you're outnumbered now. On the one hand, the oldest will be going to K so that's one down.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Aug 19, 2014 13:46:40 GMT -5
Well, Archie, you're outnumbered now. On the one hand, the oldest will be going to K so that's one down. Yup, but she is going to first. And my wife deals with most of this. I just have to come home to it!
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Aug 19, 2014 13:48:05 GMT -5
The more you talk about your upbringing the more I can really understand why you chose to be one and done.
(I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just very interesting to me - since my upbringing was almost 100% the opposite of this.)
There are several reasons why I was a "one and done" but yes my upbringing was one of the major factors. It sounds whiny and I don't mean it to but my parents were stretched thin. The squeaky wheel (idiot brother) got the bulk of the attention because he was loudest and meanest. My parents had 3 kids in summer ball at the same time. They were never able to sit through one game from start to finish until the other two stopped playing at it was just me. By that time I was 15.
They meant well but they were one of five and one of eight. There are four of us spread out over 7 years. Our birthdays are very close. Older brother, 4 years later came me, 2 years later came younger brother, one year later came my little sister. So for a month and a half there my mom had 3 kids under the age of three (sister was born 6 weeks before my 3rd birthday). It was chaos to say the least.
My siblings and I are not close. My sister and I get along now but went 5 years without speaking (from 2004 to 2009). My idiot brother and I openly hate each other and I'm pretty much indifferent towards my older brother. I am viewed as the "family bitch" and I didn't want my kid to grow up having a sibling that would label him with something like that.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 8:17:19 GMT -5
If your kid is young enough to be in diapers, your kid is young enough that you should be attentive enough as a parent to not let them get into the street. Maybe if the parents caught a beating when this happens they'd watch over their kids a little better. It's not the kid who's misbehaving, it's the negligent parents. YOu have 2 kids less than 18 months apart. One's giving you the dandelions she picked from the grass. YOu look up and the younger one is in the street and less than 10 seconds ago he's picking dandelions too. How the fuck is that being negligent?! I'm not supposed to pay attention to the not quite 4 year old when the 2 year old is also picking dandelions? If you can't pay enough attention to your kids, then perhaps you shouldn't have them out somewhere with such a nearby danger. It's negligent to take your kids somewhere with a nearby danger when you don't plan on supervising them properly. If you can't pay attention to both, don't take them to that location, have someone else watch one of them, there are many things you can do. Instead parents seem to feel entitled to be negligent in the supervision of their children because it is inconvenient for them.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 20, 2014 8:19:00 GMT -5
Oh, brother, here it goes.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 9:52:23 GMT -5
If your kid is young enough to be in diapers, your kid is young enough that you should be attentive enough as a parent to not let them get into the street. Maybe if the parents caught a beating when this happens they'd watch over their kids a little better. It's not the kid who's misbehaving, it's the negligent parents. If you have children, I curse you with a runner. That's what leashes are for.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 9:59:37 GMT -5
Sometimes you can tell when a person either doesn't have children or they've been blessed with perfect little angels, the ability to read their child's mind, omnipresence, and infinite wisdom and knowledge.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 20, 2014 11:53:09 GMT -5
I was blessed with a mostly perfect angel and he still was a booger at times. Just those times were so unexpected, you couldn't prepare. If you've always had a booger, you're prepped! It's the sneaky that gets you!! You relax, and BOOM, sneaky!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Aug 20, 2014 12:04:40 GMT -5
I was blessed with a mostly perfect angel and he still was a booger at times. Just those times were so unexpected, you couldn't prepare. If you've always had a booger, you're prepped! It's the sneaky that gets you!! You relax, and BOOM, sneaky! That would be my girl. She sucks us in with her angelic "who, me?" face and then she turns into a total terror at a moment's notice
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michelyn8
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Post by michelyn8 on Aug 20, 2014 12:10:31 GMT -5
In my experience, listening to what they're told just isn't something most 2 year olds excel at. People started calling it the "Terrible Twos" for a reason. It doesn't start on the exact date of their 2nd birthday and end on their 3rd either. Sorry Archie. My sister coined the "fiersome fours" when my oldest niece turned 4. Until just a few months before her 4th birthday, she had been an only child and only grandchild. Then came her sister, niece #2 and she became a holy terror - tantrums, not listening, etc. for my sister. For her it was the combo of adjusting to no longer being an only and the normal skill/intelligence/personality growth of a child that age. I consider the following to be normal stages for all children: Terrible Two's, Tumultuous Three's, and Fiersome Four's. So pretty much between 18 months and age 5 expect your sweet tempered baby to behave like demon spawn, an alien, etc. Of course, to throw you off they will occasionally be that sweet tempered little angel you remember and then the switch flips again. Pretty much until your child is old enough to carry on a coherent, intelligent conversation about more than Mickey Mouse Clubhouse life will be chaotic.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 12:31:06 GMT -5
You are such an accountant!
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Aug 20, 2014 12:32:31 GMT -5
Sometimes you can tell when a person either doesn't have children or they've been blessed with perfect little angels, the ability to read their child's mind, omnipresence, and infinite wisdom and knowledge. you guys do realize hoops is trolling us, right?
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Aug 20, 2014 12:33:40 GMT -5
YOu have 2 kids less than 18 months apart. One's giving you the dandelions she picked from the grass. YOu look up and the younger one is in the street and less than 10 seconds ago he's picking dandelions too. How the fuck is that being negligent?! I'm not supposed to pay attention to the not quite 4 year old when the 2 year old is also picking dandelions? If you can't pay enough attention to your kids, then perhaps you shouldn't have them out somewhere with such a nearby danger. It's negligent to take your kids somewhere with a nearby danger when you don't plan on supervising them properly. If you can't pay attention to both, don't take them to that location, have someone else watch one of them, there are many things you can do. Instead parents seem to feel entitled to be negligent in the supervision of their children because it is inconvenient for them. You're right. I had my kids too close together. Would you take one off my hands?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 12:35:41 GMT -5
Sometimes you can tell when a person either doesn't have children or they've been blessed with perfect little angels, the ability to read their child's mind, omnipresence, and infinite wisdom and knowledge. you guys do realize hoops is trolling us, right? Yes.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 20, 2014 13:12:15 GMT -5
Sometimes you can tell when a person either doesn't have children or they've been blessed with perfect little angels, the ability to read their child's mind, omnipresence, and infinite wisdom and knowledge. you guys do realize hoops is trolling us, right? Oh, is that what it's called when someone posts inflammatory comments, doesn't contribute anything helpful, and in general acts like an ass?
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 13:18:32 GMT -5
you guys do realize hoops is trolling us, right? Oh, is that what it's called when someone posts inflammatory comments, doesn't contribute anything helpful, and in general acts like an ass? Yes, suggesting that parents supervise their own children is clearly inflammatory. I realize to some parents suggesting that they place the child's needs ahead of their own wants is crazy. Don't take your child somewhere with an obvious danger if you can't properly supervise them...crazy proposition! Are administrators allowed to call people names now? Or is it ok if we just say "acts like"?
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achelois
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Post by achelois on Aug 20, 2014 13:43:34 GMT -5
Oh, is that what it's called when someone posts inflammatory comments, doesn't contribute anything helpful, and in general acts like an ass? Yes, suggesting that parents supervise their own children is clearly inflammatory. I realize to some parents suggesting that they place the child's needs ahead of their own wants is crazy. Don't take your child somewhere with an obvious danger if you can't properly supervise them...crazy proposition! Are administrators allowed to call people names now? Or is it ok if we just say "acts like"? I think they should just decide on a case-by-case basis.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 13:55:18 GMT -5
We have a small group of kids in the neighborhood that like to play, walk, ride bikes in the middle of the street. They are pretty young probably between the ages of 6 and 8 . This is Main street and we have a population of about 60,000 so it's busy M-F. Yesterday morning I hear DH yelling out the window "get out of the middle of the street". He said they looked around ,could not tell where the voice was coming from and started waving arms around yelling "here I am, here I am" . About 10 minutes later I hear sirens and all I could think was those kids either are going to get squashed by the speeding fire trucks or they already have. I haven't figured out where they live yet but all the squashed animals on this street make me very afraid for them and very pissed off at their oblivious parents.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Aug 20, 2014 14:11:49 GMT -5
Most parents do properly supervise their children. However, with young kids, shit happens. One kid starts crying for some reason and you are trying to calm that kid down while the other kid is running away and the kid that is crying is holding on to you keeping you from running after the other child. Thank goodness I caught up to the other child before she ran up to a dog off of his leash and thank goodness the road was a long ways away. We were actually at that particular park with my parents and my husband was there too. But my husband and dad were swapping DS's car seat from one car to the other and my mom had walked back to the car for some reason.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 14:13:13 GMT -5
::I haven't figured out where they live yet but all the squashed animals on this street make me very afraid for them and very pissed off at their oblivious parents.::
If this thread has taught me anything, it's that this isn't the fault of the parents. The kids just need to be beaten more often.
Next time tell DH to yell "Justin Bieber is on TV", and they'll all run inside. I think kids still like the Biebs right?
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Aug 20, 2014 14:15:32 GMT -5
You can't yell. It has to be a soft voice.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Aug 20, 2014 14:16:41 GMT -5
There is a big difference between parents blatantly letting their kids play in the street and toddler/preschooler who slips away from their parents in a parking lot/while walking.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Aug 20, 2014 14:18:54 GMT -5
Earlier in this thread we talked about consequences to kids' actions and trying to teach them based on real world consequences rather than just punishments.
Friend of mine from HS shared her experiences with us.
Posted on fb: "Well Willy now knows what happens when he doesn't lock up his bike at the public pool" People started commenting "oh no! Was his bike stolen?"
She said "yes it was, by me!".
So she drove by on an errand and saw that her son had left his bike laying in the grass in front of the pool. (I will ignore that her 8 year old was at the pool by himself while she would out running errands). She sees his bike and decides to teach him a lesson and throws it in the back of her car. She assumes he will walk home and tell her someone stole his bike and she can have this be a big teaching moment. Only he doesn't walk home he calls and asks her to pick him up. She pulls up and tells him to get in the car. Willy says "but we have to wait for the police to get here". Upon noticing his bike was gone he went to the lifeguard and reported it and asked them to call the police. My friend tells the lifeguard and group of kids standing there "OMG I'm so embarrassed, I took it to teach him a lesson!". They said "No problem, you are the third mom this month to have the same idea".
Cops showed up. Mom apologized for wasting their time and explained what she had done. They said they'd have done the same thing if it had been there kid. They did lecture Willy and tell him how many bikes get stolen every year and that he was lucky it was his mom that took it this year. So she is embarrassed that she had to keep explaining what she did, his dad is upset because Willy inherited the big from his dad's dead brother, BUT Willy has vowed to never ever forget to lock up his bike.
Only time will tell if her lesson was successful or not.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 14:22:31 GMT -5
There is a big difference between parents blatantly letting their kids play in the street and toddler/preschooler who slips away from their parents in a parking lot/while walking. There have been no examples of a child "slipping away" being discussed. Only children going into the street while parents weren't paying attention to them. And it's probably a LOT more likely for a child to be hit while running into the street than it is for a group of kids standing in the middle of the street already. Most drivers tend to forego the 50 bonus points and not intentionally hit a group of kids in the street. A kid running out into the street from off the street is more likely to not be seen by a driver. That doesn't make letting them play in the street a good idea, but it's probably safer than what is actually happening in the discussion here.
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