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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 7:36:58 GMT -5
I try to strike a balance between protective my kids and letting them explore. But honestly, I can not imagine sending a kid to a park for that many hours. I just can't imagine what a 9 yr old would do there for that long. That being said, I completely agree with whoever said ( minnesotapaintlady) that taking the kid and arresting the mother doesn't fix the problem. I am curious, however - I thought that women who make low wages get day care subsidize - don't they?I was the one who talked about this. Daycare subsidizes are by state and (at least in our state) there are budgeted dollars for each county. This is from the website for childcare assistance. Counties have a limited amount of money to spend on Basic Sliding Fee Child Care. If there are no openings in your county, ask your county worker to put your name on their waiting list. The county will contact you when your name reaches the top of the list
Some counties have really long waiting list. Not surprising these are also the real poor counties. The rules are different if you're on welfare and are looking for work or attending school, then I think everyone gets it. This is just the program for low income workers. As of today in MN there are about 8000 families on the wait list for daycare assistance. Over half of them are from one county.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 22, 2014 7:38:03 GMT -5
On the other hand, she doesn't have a passel of them that she's getting money for and NOT taking care of them. She's working and not getting her hair/nails done and buying crab legs with her escalade and coach purse! She's a future YMer, she just doesn't know it yet.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 22, 2014 7:46:10 GMT -5
LOL Zib
When we had our oldest, we lived in MA and at some point I called around for day care rates. I almost fainted. I was making fairly decent money before I stopped working and a huge chunk of it would have been going to day care.
If I wasn't SAHM, we would have been hiring someone who is from the same country as I am. Those are usually either older women who came here as immigrants and not working and "babysit" under the table and their prices are very cheap. Another option would have been to hire a live-in nanny, again from our old country. There are women who come here on a guest visa to earn $$$ and then go back home.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jul 22, 2014 7:50:24 GMT -5
Well, it seems Dad disappears and then mom is put in a bad position and does something that others don't agree with and Mom is the one burned at the stake. Or dad could be deceased, or living in another location, or any other number of things. The absence of one parent doesn't give the other parent free range to neglect their kids.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 22, 2014 7:52:17 GMT -5
No, but derelict parents seem to get a pass.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 22, 2014 7:54:23 GMT -5
They get a pass because they're gone. It isn't right but it is what it is. My EX considers himself a great parent. My kids and myself would soundly disagree.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 22, 2014 7:56:17 GMT -5
Yes. ANd, if you slip up, the force of hellfire comes down upon you who HAS been feeding, clothing and caring for your kids.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 22, 2014 8:01:03 GMT -5
You betcha. That being said, I'd contribute to a fund for her DD to go to a camp. I'm a firm believer in hand up not hand out and she needs a hand up.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 22, 2014 8:10:05 GMT -5
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 22, 2014 8:11:40 GMT -5
*-*-*- And on a personal note, last night my kids (ages 4.5 and 6) wanted a box to build a rabbit trap with, in our backyard. Amused, I gave them a box and sent them back out to play. Didn't think anything of it until at bedtime they asked if they could go check if they'd caught a rabbit. I inquired what had they used as bait. Turns out they picked about 15-20 green tomatoes out of the garden to use as bait. They lined the tomatoes up very neatly in a row leading to the box and then put more in the box. They say 1 of the tomatoes was eaten by a rabbit but I'm not so sure myself. Oh, and the box was set right side up on the grass so the rabbit would hop in. But nothing to keep it in there. They almost got that waskly wabbit. Kids are funny.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 22, 2014 8:15:31 GMT -5
They are.
I just assumed they'd do the upside down box with a forked stick (they'd been collecting sticks earlier) to keep it propped up. Scott pointed out to me later (after he'd gotten done mourning the loss of the tomatoes) that they likely hadn't seen that and wouldn't know about it.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jul 22, 2014 10:03:18 GMT -5
I grew up really poor and no amount of explaining it will help somebody who's never been there understand. People always think it's easy to find affordable, reliable childcare for whatever random hours you need it.
Okay, again, it's not that people who disagree with her decision to leave the kid in the park don't get this. I'm really not sure why so many people act like it's not possible to disagree with someone's choice and simultaneously sympathize with the difficulty of their position.
I completely understand that Mom was in a bind, and I still don't agree with her decision. If her neighborhood is not safe enough for the kid to stay in the apartment alone during her shift (as a nine year old I would have MUCH preferred to stay home rather than go to work with Mom OR play in a park for six hours), then I really can't imagine the park is a totally safe alternative.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jul 22, 2014 10:05:03 GMT -5
You betcha. That being said, I'd contribute to a fund for her DD to go to a camp. I'm a firm believer in hand up not hand out and she needs a hand up.
Agreed! Maybe we should start one on YM
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justme
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Post by justme on Jul 22, 2014 10:32:06 GMT -5
The McDonalds where mom works isn't necessarily in the same neighborhood as their house that got broken into. Maybe it's in a yuppy area and kids are playing on the playground in designer clothing. Or it's always filled with nannies taking their kids there. It's impossible to know whether the park is worse or better than her staying at home.
On a side note, I like how in this instance people are wanting her to be cooped up all day indoors watching TV instead of being outdoors and exercising and playing and breathing fresh air.
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michelyn8
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Post by michelyn8 on Jul 22, 2014 10:38:36 GMT -5
I try to strike a balance between protective my kids and letting them explore. But honestly, I can not imagine sending a kid to a park for that many hours. I just can't imagine what a 9 yr old would do there for that long. That being said, I completely agree with whoever said ( minnesotapaintlady) that taking the kid and arresting the mother doesn't fix the problem. I am curious, however - I thought that women who make low wages get day care subsidize - don't they?I was the one who talked about this. Daycare subsidizes are by state and (at least in our state) there are budgeted dollars for each county. This is from the website for childcare assistance. Counties have a limited amount of money to spend on Basic Sliding Fee Child Care. If there are no openings in your county, ask your county worker to put your name on their waiting list. The county will contact you when your name reaches the top of the list
Some counties have really long waiting list. Not surprising these are also the real poor counties. The rules are different if you're on welfare and are looking for work or attending school, then I think everyone gets it. This is just the program for low income workers. As of today in MN there are about 8000 families on the wait list for daycare assistance. Over half of them are from one county. You also have to keep in mind that not all daycares accept subsidies and those that do mostly likely have limited openings. Add to that the typical hours of a daycare versus the likely shifts a McD's worker may be scheduled and you have a conflict. There are three actual daycares in my county. 1) Church run and does not participate in the subsidy program. Per the church website, hours of 6:30 to 6 and $1/minute for every minute late picking the child up. After 30 minutes if they haven't heard from you or been able to contact your emergency contact, they call CPS. 2 & 3) Privately run and do not participate in the subsidy program. Hours for both are 6 to 6. No websites so no info about fees for late pickup readily available. Based on research, these seem to be the normal hours for most daycares. I have yet to find one that offered evening or overnight care so someone needed that has to rely on a private sitter or family. So given that none participate in the program, I'm left wondering just who around here is approved by DSS and accepts the subsidies. Its entirely possible the funds get paid to private care givers or to centers outside the county. A McD's worker on day shift mostly likely has to be at work when they open - sometimes 5 or 6 in the morning - so cannot utilize a typical daycare unless they have a family member or spouse who can do the dropoff and they pickup when they are off. Same with an afternoon/evening shift. Those usually start at 2 or 3 and run until 7, 8 or even closing. So again, cannot utilize a daycare unless they have someone to pick the child up in the afternoon/evening and can care for them until the shift is over. Another factor that I can't speak to is the question of whether a daycare would accept a child with a schedule that changes from week to week - varying drop off and pick up times. Fast food and retail workers rarely have the same schedule every week unless they are fortunate enough to have a manger who works with them. So unless they can get a set schedule of say 8 to no later than 4 or 5, M-F, daycare is not an option even if they could afford it leaving them to rely on private sitters or family members who don't work or work different shifts. I know with DD2 and DGD its a real pain. She is lucky to have me and DGD's paternal family to help but even with their help, 90% of DGD's care while DD2 works has fallen on me just because of the hours she is scheduled each week (and we never know what the next's week schedule (Sat to Fri) will be until the Thursday or Friday before the new schedule starts.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jul 22, 2014 11:23:15 GMT -5
Sitting in an air conditioned restaurant for six hours a day is not "being cooped up all day."
If the park is safer than her house, fine. But I don't assume that's automatically the case. The park near where I grew up was a hot spot for gang activity and there are McD's in some really shitty neighborhoods.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 11:41:43 GMT -5
In the same way I don't assume the park is a hot spot for gang activity. The mother usually had her daughter at the restaurant, or at school during the school year I gather. There is nothing I have read to indicate this woman is generally negligent so I am going to assume she texted with her daughter periodically through the day. I know I do even though my girls are older. I think this was exceptionally nice weather and at this time the mother let her kid play at the park for a few days. I refuse to criticize her for it on the info we have.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 22, 2014 11:43:56 GMT -5
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 22, 2014 11:44:56 GMT -5
That just sucks. FIE on them.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 22, 2014 11:45:50 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 11:48:49 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 11:49:19 GMT -5
Beth beat me to it!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 22, 2014 11:54:24 GMT -5
LOL.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jul 22, 2014 11:59:18 GMT -5
It just sickens me to know that that poor 9 yr. old girl has been taken away from her mother and her home and the mother had to endure an arrest and a night in jail. And a criminal record. How is she now supposed to afford legal counsel and help in getting her daughter back? How is she supposed to get a job? (rhetorical questions)
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justme
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Post by justme on Jul 22, 2014 11:59:21 GMT -5
Six hours isn't all day. But if it takes an hour bus ride to get to/from the McDonalds and they had errands to run after mom finished work you're up to 9+ hours of not being outside and doing anything, get home and now it's time for dinner and by the time you're done it's bedtime for a 9 year old. Suddenly she hasn't had any time outside at all and has been cooped up all day. Or maybe my timeframe is off, but her neigborhood isn't safe (ya know, breakins and all) so she can't play outside once they get home after mom's work and it gets worse at night with all those gangs in the park.
Yeah, it could go either way, though I would think it might be mentioned in the reports if the park she was in was a hotbed for gangs and crimes, especially since they did mention the break in at their home.
ETA: Ha! Of course I post this at the same time Beth and Latebloomer find more info! Disregard me.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jul 22, 2014 12:02:11 GMT -5
With the extra details (close to both home and work, lots of friends, lunch supervision) this doesn't sound unreasonable to me. As I said, many factors could make this more or less safe. Definitely didn't warrant having the kid taken away (or fired- WTF?) - but I never thought it did anyway.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 12:04:45 GMT -5
She got fired too? Jeez. Well, then good. She can sit around on welfare all day and not have to worry about daycare.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on Jul 22, 2014 12:09:41 GMT -5
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 22, 2014 12:11:35 GMT -5
Yep, she was fired sometime last week.
And there is a fundraiser going - by a stranger who's said she'll send everything to Harrell's lawyer once they work out the details.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 22, 2014 12:12:34 GMT -5
Gotta say that poor woman hasn't had a good month. Robbed, arrested, kid taken, fired....
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