raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 7, 2014 6:26:30 GMT -5
To be fair to shooby, the question was posed and she answered it. She isn't saying she goes around sharing her opinion when not asked.
My family is my life. Not just my kids, but my grandmother, my parents, and my sister. My husband as well, but I got a lot more choice with him so I don't think he counts. At some point I will probably be lonely and working to reinvent myself, but as far as family goes, all I've got is now and I'm making the choice to enjoy them now. I don't need anyone to feel bad for me because I don't have more worldly accomplishments.
Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 6:40:59 GMT -5
It is hard for me to understand not wanting kids because I always wanted them. I have a demanding career, lots of friends, etc...but I would feel so unfulfilled if I didn't have my kids. They bring something to my life that nothing else can (I can't even put it into words). I earn good money, travel a lot, etc so it isn't like people without kids can do things that I can't do.
Because of how much I love my kids I do feel sorry for people that never get to experience that. There is an unconditional love with my kids that I have for no one else in life. Short of killing my other child, I can't think of anything my children could do that would make me stop loving them. I can't say that about anyone else in life. But I absolutely do not think that people that don't want kids should ever have them. Kids deserve to be wanted and loved.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 6:41:23 GMT -5
So u only " have a life" if u don't have kids? Oh ok. Lol!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 6:53:01 GMT -5
Accomplishments pale in comparison to your family. Bullshit - that's your opinion.
Everyone makes their own choices in life - and some major accomplishments have been made in society - by people who either have or do not have kids - that's totally irrelevant to the topic..
And it's not even a point worth debating here - you just dragged that in to divert direction of the discussion - because many are finding your comments on the topic so ridiculous. I don't get all of the shooby hate on here. The question was asked and she gave her opinion much like the rest of us gave our opinion. I am successful both professional and personally. I have a lot of friends, have traveled quite a bit, built up some significant assets, etc. But at the end of the day, all of that would mean nothing if I didn't have my children. If I had to become penniless tomorrow to save one of my children I would.
So to me, there is nothing more important in this world than my children. To me, no one else's accomplishments mean as much to me as my children. to me, being extremely accomplished professionally but not having children sounds very lonely and sad because that isn't the kind of life I want.
I don't understand why everyone gets so bent out of shape over shooby's opinions. She values having children much like I do. that doesn't make her pathetic or that she has no life. She just has different values than others. I am sure she doesn't walk around in real life telling her childless friends that she feel sorry for them...but that WAS the question asked here.
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kilroy
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Post by kilroy on Jul 7, 2014 6:54:50 GMT -5
Why do u assume people with kids care if you have kids? We don't. Maybe because someone chose to start a whole thread on the subject & you gleefully joined in with your ridiculous judgments about what our childfree lives are like? Yeah, I think that would do it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 6:55:39 GMT -5
Why do u assume people with kids care if you have kids? We don't. You'd be surprised how many do - we were called "Selfish", told that it was probably better we didn't have any since we were so "self-centered", and other hurtful things.
Imagine how much more hurtful those things said to us would have been (mostly by casual acquaintances) if we were UNABLE to have kids.
I don't say rude or cruel things to people with kids (like I said, we/I have many family members/friends with kids) , and I'd expect them (or anyone else) to show the same respect for couples who are childless.
And you yourself said that NOT having kids is a lonely, depressing and empty existence.
But that is her opinion. I would find a life without my kids to be very lonely, depressing and empty...not because I do not have a life but because a big part of me would be missing.
My heart aches for those that want children but cannot have them. I would have been completely devastated.
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kilroy
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Post by kilroy on Jul 7, 2014 6:56:05 GMT -5
So u only " have a life" if u don't have kids? Oh ok. Lol! Nobody said that, Shooby, but nice try twisting other people's words.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 6:57:45 GMT -5
Why do u assume people with kids care if you have kids? We don't. Maybe because someone chose to start a whole thread on the subject & you gleefully joined in with your ridiculous judgments about what our childfree lives are like? Yeah, I think that would do it. So it is wrong of shooby to give her comments but it is ok for the childless people to chime in? We are ALL entitled to our opinions. This thread asked a question and everyone chimed in to give their opinion, not just shooby.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Jul 7, 2014 7:00:48 GMT -5
as usual, shooby was the first to look down her nose at those who made different decisions than she has. but if you don't see that from her posts, I guess I can't really point it out any better than that.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:03:28 GMT -5
No judgment there from the "non judgmental" people! LMAO!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 7:03:28 GMT -5
as usual, shooby was the first to look down her nose at those who made different decisions than she has. but if you don't see that from her posts, I guess I can't really point it out any better than that. Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 7, 2014 7:03:36 GMT -5
Why do u assume people with kids care if you have kids? We don't. Maybe because someone chose to start a whole thread on the subject & you gleefully joined in with your ridiculous judgments about what our childfree lives are like? Yeah, I think that would do it. She prefaced all of it from her point of view which was the actual question. It was other posters who inferred and then added judgment that things went downhill. I've been on the receiving end of "conversations" about why I didn't have kids and I get feeling the need to pre-emptively shut that shit down. But there has been plenty of judgment from both sides in this thread. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 7:04:12 GMT -5
No judgment there from the "non judgmental" people! LMAO! Exactly...I see judgment on both sides but only shooby is getting called out on it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 7:05:22 GMT -5
Maybe because someone chose to start a whole thread on the subject & you gleefully joined in with your ridiculous judgments about what our childfree lives are like? Yeah, I think that would do it. She prefaced all of it from her point of view which was the actual question. It was other posters who inferred and then added judgment that things went downhill. I've been on the receiving end of "conversations" about why I didn't have kids and I get feeling the need to pre-emptively shut that shit down. But there has been plenty of judgment from both sides in this thread. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards So much this! We all have opinions but shooby is getting shit for expressing hers while others can say whatever they want...same old, same old around here
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kilroy
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Post by kilroy on Jul 7, 2014 7:06:11 GMT -5
as usual, shooby was the first to look down her nose at those who made different decisions than she has. but if you don't see that from her posts, I guess I can't really point it out any better than that. Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
You honestly can't see how posting that the homes of people without children are QUIET (her capitals, not mine) and depressing is judgmental? OK then.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:06:56 GMT -5
So saying I " don't care" if you don't have kids is also judgmental? Lol! I really don't care one way or the other. If u have them or dont have them I presume you are happy either way.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jul 7, 2014 7:08:25 GMT -5
It is hard for me to understand not wanting kids because I always wanted them. I have a demanding career, lots of friends, etc...but I would feel so unfulfilled if I didn't have my kids. They bring something to my life that nothing else can (I can't even put it into words). I earn good money, travel a lot, etc so it isn't like people without kids can do things that I can't do.
Because of how much I love my kids I do feel sorry for people that never get to experience that. There is an unconditional love with my kids that I have for no one else in life. Short of killing my other child, I can't think of anything my children could do that would make me stop loving them. I can't say that about anyone else in life. But I absolutely do not think that people that don't want kids should ever have them. Kids deserve to be wanted and loved. I have trouble understanding wanting kids! Lol, kidding. But while I will never have that maternal instinct, I completely agree with your last statement (though how could anyone disagree?). The last thing anyone should do is have kids because you're "supposed" to. I had a friend who's mom resented her children; that fucks kids up beyond repair! I think having kids you don't want is a terrible thing to do. I am doing everyone a favor by not bringing hell spawns into world. :-)
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Jul 7, 2014 7:08:25 GMT -5
I have only had a child for less than two weeks. I miss sleeping.
But she's pretty cute. I'm excited for when she can actually do stuff in addition to eating, pooping, sleeping, and crying.
I think DH and I would have been fine without ever having children.
There is nothing 'selfish' about not having kids. You only have one life to live and it is yours to decide how you want to live it, whether with children or without.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:09:02 GMT -5
Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
You honestly can't see how posting that the homes of people without children are QUIET (her capitals, not mine) and depressing is judgmental? OK then. And telling me the SAME thing after I said DH and my kids are my life ISNT? ROLF!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 7:09:27 GMT -5
Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
You honestly can't see how posting that the homes of people without children are QUIET (her capitals, not mine) and depressing is judgmental? OK then. it is her opinion. Why do you care if she thinks that a house without children is quiet and depressing? I would find life without children quiet, depressing and lonely...that is my opinion. Doesn't mean I am judging people that chose to not have children.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:09:51 GMT -5
And there is nothing selfish in having children either.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:12:01 GMT -5
The beat goes on. La de da de da.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jul 7, 2014 7:12:22 GMT -5
as usual, shooby was the first to look down her nose at those who made different decisions than she has. but if you don't see that from her posts, I guess I can't really point it out any better than that. Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
She could have said she loves the sounds of childrens soundtrack or whatever, but right out of the gate she said how lonely and depressing a quiet house is, implying that childfree people are miserable and lonely. It's quite the opposite. I'm pretty certain a quiet house is the best thing in the world!
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jul 7, 2014 7:14:02 GMT -5
And there is nothing selfish in having children either. The decision to have or not have children is completely selfish. But sometimes selfish is good.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:15:45 GMT -5
And there is nothing selfish in having children either. The decision to have or not have children is completely selfish. But sometimes selfish is good. Why? Because YOU have deemed this decision" selfish" so therefore it is because you declared it so? Wow.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 7, 2014 7:16:15 GMT -5
Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
You honestly can't see how posting that the homes of people without children are QUIET (her capitals, not mine) and depressing is judgmental? OK then. Quiet is certainly not judgmental. Depressing could be judgmental, and absolutely would be if she walked into a house and said my gawd you're life is so depressing without kids. Saying she feels that a house without kids is depressing is just stating her opinion (again when it was asked for). You might feel that my life is depressing and chaotic considering the state of my home. That doesn't make you are a person who hates everyone who chose to have kids. Rereading the first page and all of shoobys posts were about her own feelings. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 7, 2014 7:16:24 GMT -5
Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
She could have said she loves the sounds of childrens soundtrack or whatever, but right out of the gate she said how lonely and depressing a quiet house is, implying that childfree people are miserable and lonely. It's quite the opposite. I'm pretty certain a quiet house is the best thing in the world! That is reading into her words. Based on everything I have read from shooby over the years, she likes a very active house. Not only her kids but the neighborhood kids. To her a childfree home WOULD be quiet and depressing. Just like to you a house filled with kids would be pure torture. I know that from knowing you over the years. I'm in the middle...I would find a completely kid free house to be depressing but I also don't like the chaos that shooby seems to enjoy. See, we all have opinions but none of them are judgmental in my eyes.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:17:56 GMT -5
Why is it looking down her nose? I seriously don't get it. Other posters are saying she is pathetic because her kids are her life and THAT isn't passing judgment? The thread specifically asked a question and shooby answered it. It isn't like she started a thread "people without kids are sad and lonely".
She could have said she loves the sounds of childrens soundtrack or whatever, but right out of the gate she said how lonely and depressing a quiet house is, implying that childfree people are miserable and lonely. It's quite the opposite. I'm pretty certain a quiet house is the best thing in the world! If you are saying a quiet house is " the best thing" didnt YOU just make a value judgment? Because if there is " the best" thing then you are saying there are lesser things aka a noisy home. Lmao!
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jul 7, 2014 7:19:50 GMT -5
The decision to have or not have children is completely selfish. But sometimes selfish is good. Why? Because YOU have deemed this decision" selfish" so therefore it is because you declared it so? Wow. Well, no. Many people share the same opinion. You've never heard anyone say that parenthood is the most selfless and selfish thing you can do? The decision to have kids can be selfish, being a good parent can be selfless. As I said, some selfish decisions are the best ones you can make.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jul 7, 2014 7:20:32 GMT -5
Here's how it works. If I say , " I love a clear blue sky" then of course that means I HATE clouds and all other weather patterns. Got it? Lol
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