Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 13:44:00 GMT -5
Are you the poster who was married before and was upset you had to work? Then got with this guy who told you that you wouldnt have to work but made you work? Some story like tgat.... Am i confusing posters?
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souldoubt
Senior Member
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Post by souldoubt on Jul 8, 2014 13:47:55 GMT -5
I believe this is the poster who helps support her daughter (believe her ex is the dad) and grand daughter and she said she would no matter what but I could be wrong.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 8, 2014 13:58:21 GMT -5
Are you the poster who was married before and was upset you had to work? Then got with this guy who told you that you wouldnt have to work but made you work? Some story like tgat.... Am i confusing posters? No, you're thinking of qofcc. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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achelois
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Post by achelois on Jul 8, 2014 18:13:19 GMT -5
Sounds like a really sucky situation for nutty to be in.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 19:16:39 GMT -5
I think she isn't responding because there are no assets now.
Rae, I think she isn't responding because we aren't posting what she wants to hear.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 19:59:27 GMT -5
This is just my opinion, not based on what's legal or allowed in court. If nutty took care of the kids and home life and he brought in the income during the 23 years, I think she should get half of whatever assets they acquired during the marriage. If he goes on to increase his net worth to 60 million dollars, it's all his. Same for her. I think she should also get alimony for a while, because it's next to impossible to jump into the job market and make good money right off the bat after you've been out of the workforce for years, especially if you don't have current marketable skills or knowledge. Alimony would help her have time to "reinvent" herself or update her skills/knowledge and do whatever she needs to do to become self-supporting. I'm a witch sometimes, so I think he should get the marital debts too, unless she was a shopoholic or something and she ran up the bills recklessly.
My opinion on some things would be different if nutty worked and paid the bills while he went to school and got advanced degrees that led to a lucrative career and then she became a SAHM after his career got going, but she hasn't mention that was the case.
I'd have a hard time pouring money into my retirement fund if I knew I had to give a quarter of it to somebody I divorced 20 years ago. A very hard time, like I'd probably bite my nose off to spite my face.
I can see several ways my opinion could be considered unfair to either party. But "expecting life to be fair is like expecting the lion to not eat you just because you didn't eat him".
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 8, 2014 20:38:58 GMT -5
Speaking of getting a lawyer......... How many of you out there see people getting a lawyer for the divorce, pay upfront, say $2,500 promise an easy process, and then 9 months later the lawyer says we need more money. We have spent the $2,500, and low and behold until you redeposit, nothing happens. Even if you do pay more, things progress ever so slower, shoot through the next $2,500 and eventually you wind up finding another lawyer to take your case, with a new deposit to take over your case.
I have had three people I know personally go through this process in the last four years. It seems to be an increasing phenomenum in the divorce proceedings. I am talking people who are not considered more than middle class, without lots of assets. It amazes me how many lawyers it takes to get a divorce these days, unless you are really rich.
We agreed on everything and used the same attorney. He drew up papers, we both reviewed and said Ok. He took papers to court and judge said things looked equitable and signed off. Attorney called me and said come by and pick up divorce decree you are officially divorced today. I think from reviewing to actual decree was about 15 days. Of course this was back in 82 so I don't even know if you can use same attorney. For the record though I was the one who filed and attorney was my attorney of record if anything came up down the road about child support since son was 16 at time. I know mine was the exception
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 8, 2014 22:39:39 GMT -5
If you use the same attorney it can be used as a reason to overturn the agreement. Nutty should have an attorney because she needs accurate information and needs someone to do all the filings correctly. She is very up & down about the breakup and shouldn't trust herself with life affecting decisions in that state.
It sounds like she does not actually know the household finances and wants to be more well off than reality will deliver.
I don't think anyone can give her good advice if she doesn't have facts to offer.
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Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jul 8, 2014 23:53:28 GMT -5
Speaking of getting a lawyer......... How many of you out there see people getting a lawyer for the divorce, pay upfront, say $2,500 promise an easy process, and then 9 months later the lawyer says we need more money. We have spent the $2,500, and low and behold until you redeposit, nothing happens. Even if you do pay more, things progress ever so slower, shoot through the next $2,500 and eventually you wind up finding another lawyer to take your case, with a new deposit to take over your case.
I have had three people I know personally go through this process in the last four years. It seems to be an increasing phenomenum in the divorce proceedings. I am talking people who are not considered more than middle class, without lots of assets. It amazes me how many lawyers it takes to get a divorce these days, unless you are really rich.
We agreed on everything and used the same attorney. He drew up papers, we both reviewed and said Ok. He took papers to court and judge said things looked equitable and signed off. Attorney called me and said come by and pick up divorce decree you are officially divorced today. I think from reviewing to actual decree was about 15 days. Of course this was back in 82 so I don't even know if you can use same attorney. For the record though I was the one who filed and attorney was my attorney of record if anything came up down the road about child support since son was 16 at time. I know mine was the exception That's how my first DH and I did it. It saves a lot of money when both are adult about things and this was in 1987/1988. I didn't take alimony (I could have) as Florida law is very generous (still is) and my ex didn't want the divorce so he was on his best behavior trying to change my mind the entire time. And my ex bf was our lawyer. LOL!! DH did have a lawyer review the papers on my lawyer's recommendation and his lawyer told him SIGN and kiss her ass for not taking all she could have! We had a big house on a lake with lots of equity, etc. and I just wanted $8K that was on my cc for things that I left there like a Jet Ski, patio furniture - stuff like that. But I worked and felt bad enough leaving and didn't want to be greedy. If it happens again I'm totally going to be greedy. I'm getting old and I brought a lot to the table! ETA: Naggie - Do NOT take the house! It will be an expensive albatross around your neck and ruin you financially!
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 9, 2014 6:37:40 GMT -5
We agreed on everything and used the same attorney. He drew up papers, we both reviewed and said Ok. He took papers to court and judge said things looked equitable and signed off. Attorney called me and said come by and pick up divorce decree you are officially divorced today. I think from reviewing to actual decree was about 15 days. Of course this was back in 82 so I don't even know if you can use same attorney. For the record though I was the one who filed and attorney was my attorney of record if anything came up down the road about child support since son was 16 at time. I know mine was the exception That's how my first DH and I did it. It saves a lot of money when both are adult about things and this was in 1987/1988. I didn't take alimony (I could have) as Florida law is very generous (still is) and my ex didn't want the divorce so he was on his best behavior trying to change my mind the entire time. And my ex bf was our lawyer. LOL!! DH did have a lawyer review the papers on my lawyer's recommendation and his lawyer told him SIGN and kiss her ass for not taking all she could have! We had a big house on a lake with lots of equity, etc. and I just wanted $8K that was on my cc for things that I left there like a Jet Ski, patio furniture - stuff like that. But I worked and felt bad enough leaving and didn't want to be greedy. If it happens again I'm totally going to be greedy. I'm getting old and I brought a lot to the table! ETA: Naggie - Do NOT take the house! It will be an expensive albatross around your neck and ruin you financially! I could say the same about second time around but I knew there would never be a second time. Marriage and I don't get along very well But glad to see someone else had an adult divorce
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2014 10:10:11 GMT -5
We got an "adult" divorce and also used the same attorney . . . his. His lawyer wasn't very good. He failed to file the paperwork on transferring the title of the house to my ex (I was still on the mortgage) so when DH was finally able to refinance, DH had to ask me to sign again.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2014 10:11:00 GMT -5
We used the same attorney for my first divorce. We talked about it, I went and had it written up and he signed. Done.
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