Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
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Post by Shooby on Apr 12, 2014 10:31:36 GMT -5
I don't think either one of them is obligated to leave. Unless they want too. Instead of playing head games, sit down and talk about where this is going. If you are going to break up, then put the house on the market, get your lawyers , divide the assets and move on. You would both be further ahead to figure this out for YOURSELVES then turn it into some battle unless there is a huge hoard of money, you will both get MORE if you agree and figure out the plan yourselves and then get a lawyer to sign off on it.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 9, 2024 6:20:58 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 12, 2014 22:10:57 GMT -5
I don't think either one of them is obligated to leave. Unless they want too. Instead of playing head games, sit down and talk about where this is going. If you are going to break up, then put the house on the market, get your lawyers , divide the assets and move on. You would both be further ahead to figure this out for YOURSELVES then turn it into some battle unless there is a huge hoard of money, you will both get MORE if you agree and figure out the plan yourselves and then get a lawyer to sign off on it. I think she is in the middle of BK, so they probably can't sell the house. She'll have to ask the BK attorney when they can actually sell it. I don't know the laws in FL and that's where they infer she is. She didn't go to work once the kids were grown, so there might be a reason she isn't able to. If she is long term dependent, then I'm not sure people feeding the suspicions is a good idea. She needs to figure out what life she wants, single or married. And then ask for guidance on her plan. She also needs to be honest about her capabilities and situation.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,687
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 13, 2014 12:48:37 GMT -5
I get that you don't want to get a job and support yourself but you may have to anyway. Alimony is only good if you actually get awarded it and the collect it. Take this time to work on yourself and leave him alone. Stop pestering him and take care of yourself. Big time . I know a fair number of women (and a few men) who were awarded alimony and/or child support (and in Florida, payments can be done through a state system via automated account deductions; you don't have to have contact with your ex at all), yet the awarded parties never got a dime. Ex-spouse/SO took off to another state/country, cried poor and jobless, or just plain hid out for a few years.
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Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
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Post by Shooby on Apr 13, 2014 13:06:43 GMT -5
Of course she should talk to a lawyer. Nobody is saying otherwise. As for selling the house, if they are BK together, how in the world is she going to afford the house alone? It is going to have to go either way if she really wants to start fresh and not so far in the hole.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 9, 2024 6:20:58 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2014 13:08:40 GMT -5
Unless she has a medical disability I have a hard time seeing a judge awarding lifetime alimony. She'll get alimony & tuition coverage to get herself to a similar educational level as her DH, but just for the time it takes to be FT student. She might get a larger % of pension/401K if there is any money like that, based on the presumption that he can re-earn and replace the money more quickly than she could create a future asset.
If their only asset is the house, I would not move out until after the BK & when the house is sold (hopefully she would also get a larger than 50% award of the equity). Then at least she has the money to pay ongoing rent in case the ex decides not to pay alimony. The states don't typically chase deadbeats for alimony, only child support. If she went on welfare for herself, then they would chase the alimony in order to get reimbursement.
I'm not convinced she actually wants to be divorced. She needs to figure that out before threatening, pushing the issue, or moving out. Saying you can be independent and self sufficient is a nice thought, but if you have not worked in 20+ years, it might not be reality. Entering the workforce at 45-50 in entry level work is not a great place to be.
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Nazgul Girl
Junior Associate
Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 23:25:02 GMT -5
Posts: 5,913
Today's Mood: excellent
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Apr 13, 2014 13:11:02 GMT -5
Hi MM, appreciate it, If I didn't tell these stories I wouldn't believe them myself. He did get presented with a rose which he accepted and said thank you. I just realized I said two guys brought them drinks and I meant too say too GIRLS (Probably very hot) got them drinks. Anywho that seemed to make him a little happier. So he doesn't seem to be pouty tonight. So like if you guys are splitting up, why do you care ? You need to be selfish and just care about your well-being, not worry about what he's doing, not doing, and/or how many roses he may or may not be being presented with. The person doing the leaving loves it when the spouse gets all upset about their exploits. You need to save your energy for yourself.
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