tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Apr 9, 2014 13:34:39 GMT -5
I need a drink or something. Are you having a drinking problem history? Whatever...I'll have one with you because I am...To Nancy!
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 13:47:24 GMT -5
NO I have no drinking problem.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 9, 2014 13:48:53 GMT -5
HMMMM, I did ask him last night and he said he has nothing to say, he doesn't know why he feels the way he does and that he doesn't have anything to say to me. This is all so confusing, I just spent the last hour getting stuff together and telling myself I can do this, screw him but I am sure in a hour I will be crying my eyes out. This sure is a rollercoaster and I want off. So because HE does not know what he wants, he gets to drag you on his roller coaster. You can continue on this roller coaster, not knowing which way he's going to swing next, or you can be decisive and put plans in motion. He's apparently not going to do this without being forced to, but his indecisiveness is making your life miserable. So you need to decide if you want to continue this way, or move on. Your decision.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 13:55:01 GMT -5
Everyone is right, I don't need or want this rollercoaster, there are just a few logisitics to figure out but I am out of here as soon as I can, I will not be treated this freaking way. Ridiculous, someone mentioned pouting and that is what I think he is doing to some degree and again he keeps saying "we" like "I" am the one having this midlife crisis, BS.
Kelly Clarkson is great listening too right now.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 9, 2014 13:58:31 GMT -5
I need a drink or something. Alcohol solves nothing. Not that I am against booze (I happen to be a wine collector). But in this case, keep a clear head so you can proceed with a calm frame of mind. Alcohol just won't help. Deal with the issues and then you can cry and drink later.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 13:59:18 GMT -5
oh I don't drink, just a phrase. I got my B12. LOL Zyrtec, synthroid....LOl nothing good here.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 14:02:51 GMT -5
Ok I really don't have any pals to help me move, would it be an idea to get a storage so when I have time I can pop down there with stuff (MY STUFF) and then when I make the move it will be cleaner, like I will just be gone and be able to get storage at my own time.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 9, 2014 14:16:26 GMT -5
What a shame. No job, no friends. Such isolation. First thing you need to do is make some friends and get some counseling. Then a job skill. Geez, even try to get a job as a bank teller. No more bringing your family drama into your home. You have enough on your plate as it is. Time to cut the apron strings and let them fly. If they're old enough to procreate, they're old enough to care for them on their own. Do you have any job skills at all? Any leads for jobs? Even school bus driver?
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 14:50:16 GMT -5
Oh I will get a job, I have no doubt (okay that is the optimist in me) I have skills I can probably get a job paying between 12-15 an hour, signed up for classes for the summer in case a job doesn't appear by then.
I hate to say I am isolated, I do have friends but I am really the person they come to when they need it. So what is going on seems unconceivable to them. You should know how many " You are kidding right" I have heard.
YEAH NO I am not kidding. It's really a matter of me not/never asking for help.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Post by swamp on Apr 9, 2014 14:54:10 GMT -5
Ok I really don't have any pals to help me move, would it be an idea to get a storage so when I have time I can pop down there with stuff (MY STUFF) and then when I make the move it will be cleaner, like I will just be gone and be able to get storage at my own time. very good idea.
ETA: And remember, stuff is just stuff. You live in Florida, the land of estate sales. Unless it has some kind of amazing sentimental value, you can get another cheap.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
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Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 9, 2014 14:59:09 GMT -5
oh I don't drink, just a phrase. I got my B12. LOL Zyrtec, synthroid....LOl nothing good here. Good. Like I said, there will be time for booze, chocolate and tears later. Well, chocolate would be OK now. Make a plan on paper. Logical steps, so you have them clear in your mind as to what is next. You're in Central FL, right? This link may help. Not sure if you will qualify for pro bono help, but you should ask. This is for Orange County: www.legalaidocba.org/
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tloonya
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What status?
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
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Post by tloonya on Apr 9, 2014 14:59:48 GMT -5
NO I have no drinking problem. Hang out with me and get it! Got it? Got it? Get it! eeek
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tloonya
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What status?
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
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Post by tloonya on Apr 9, 2014 15:02:16 GMT -5
oh I don't drink, just a phrase. I got my B12. LOL Zyrtec, synthroid....LOl nothing good here. Synthroid? u basically like a sister to me! let's drink to that?
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
Community Leader
♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 9, 2014 15:03:52 GMT -5
Sounds like he's going through the proverbial "mid-life crisis".
Is it possible he's finding life at home lately "too routine" and boring? He might be feeling stuck in a rut - with the day-to-day mundane normalcy of your relationship.
Just bouncing another theory your way for you to ponder.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 15:05:13 GMT -5
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Post by swamp on Apr 9, 2014 15:06:15 GMT -5
Sounds like he's going through the proverbial "mid-life crisis".
Is it possible he's finding life at home lately "too routine" and boring? He might be feeling stuck in a rut - with the day-to-day mundane normalcy of your relationship.
Just bouncing another theory your way for you to ponder. He may be, but it's a dick move to drag Naggy through the mud while he figures things out.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 15:07:37 GMT -5
SL. You are right, it really sounds like the mid life crisis and you are probably right. But he is social, me not so much. Well there you go, I can't help him with that. My stuff meaning my clothes, a few handbags, a single mattress.....awww my new apartment gonna look bare...
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 9, 2014 15:10:08 GMT -5
Oh, I wasn't letting him off the hook for acting like a dick - I just wondered if Naggy had considered that as a possible reason for his pissy, pouty attitude.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 15:11:51 GMT -5
You know you guys are right, I don't deserve to hang around for him to decide whether or not he wants to be married. NO I AM NOT GOING TO DO THIS.
Man I am excited now, peace and quiet and my own space.....glorious.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 17:46:35 GMT -5
Ok, I really think he is going through some mid life shit, and has lost the razzle dazzle. We worked on him making Director and he finally did a few months ago, manages all the IT stuff. So he comes whizzing up the driveway and said hey "MF" called me for a drink. This is a guy that has wanted to hire him for years but timing has never been right.
So for the men out there, is this something that happens, liking the chase I guess.
He came in put his jacket on asked how he looked, gave me a kiss and said I love you.
I AM SO CONFUSED.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 9, 2014 19:13:20 GMT -5
Keep on getting your ducks in a row. He can "court" you if he wants you back.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 9, 2014 19:16:35 GMT -5
Naggie, it sounds like he may have had a "lightbulb" moment - and realizes that he's been a dick toward you - maybe this is his first step to pay his atonement and start to do an attitude adjustment on the way he's been treating or ignoring you and your feelings/concerns.
See how the next week or two play out with this new attitude of his before you jump to any hasty life-changing decisions regarding your future or marriage.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 9, 2014 19:28:44 GMT -5
Sometimes it is best to just ramp down the intensity. Some men just can't or don't really want to discuss "feelings" . If you aren't making a move right now you might just want to go about your routine being polite keeping it casual. It might give you some breathing room to sort out your feelings.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 9, 2014 19:50:12 GMT -5
Every single long term couple I know has gone through this kind of thing. Many right on this board. Me, I'm the type with no patience for that crap, hence I'm single. Others have ridden it out and are going strong now. I don't think your husband's unhappiness is about you. I'm just going with statistics here. Anyway, make sure you want to be divorced and aren't just frustrated with it being "his call". Living on $15/hour is not high living. There is a reason for the phrase "cheaper to keep her".
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 20:34:51 GMT -5
OMG he just came home and apparently he got given a rose by a guy (well he gave it to me when he got home)
He also said that two girls brought them drinks which I am not really happy about but didn't say anything.
Edit I said two GUYS when I meant Girls/ladies/women.
Deleted some things that could be construed as not cool, but just a turn of my phrase.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 9, 2014 20:39:49 GMT -5
Many of you are so right, and so right on the money and your support has been fantastic. Very kind and supportive which is what I need...
I don't think it is about me, it's about him. Sooooo....what am I am going to do....I really don't want to divorce so I will have to look inside me.
I hope anyone reading this will realize this is real life and to always be kind.
So please be kind to those who though may frustrate you, some information will get through.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 10, 2014 0:37:51 GMT -5
Hi MM, appreciate it, If I didn't tell these stories I wouldn't believe them myself. He did get presented with a rose which he accepted and said thank you. I just realized I said two guys brought them drinks and I meant too say too GIRLS (Probably very hot) got them drinks. Anywho that seemed to make him a little happier. So he doesn't seem to be pouty tonight.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 10, 2014 5:17:40 GMT -5
So a guy gave him a rose or a girl? Eithet waythat sounds like he is sending out some " I am available" vibes. I would presume most of the people he knows realize he is married
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Apr 10, 2014 6:50:00 GMT -5
Apparently it was a guy that gave him a rose. He said he came up to him and said something ( I can't remember what now) and H just said thank you. Also in the same sentence he said two girls sent over drinks to the guy and H.
I stewed on that for the whole night. This morning I asked if he engaged the women in conversation and he rolled his eyes, I was so mad. As far as I am concerned in the eyes of the law and in MY eyes we are still married, how dare he roll his eyes at me like I am the one being freaking given drinks by men.
This is getting ridiculous and very, very insulting to me now.
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The Captain
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Hugs are good...
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Post by The Captain on Apr 10, 2014 7:00:31 GMT -5
Nutty - you're freaking out and getting angry over someone rolling their eyes at you, really?
I don't know if you can do this but try to step away from the situation then come back and look at how you are presenting some things.
He went out, had a drink or two with a friend. MAYBE he was using the friend as a sounding board to let off some steam (as you are doing here) and maybe someone overhear and gave him a rose or bought a few drinks to show some support.
It doesn't always have to be for the worst reasons...
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