WWYD (first grader denied bathroom break)

[mmhmm]

Tloonya:

1.   Whether Swamp sleeps, or not, isn't any of your affair.  Don't ask.
2.   Anytime you find yourself typing the name of another poster, think long and hard about what you're going to type next.  Calling someone a "know-it-all"         because you've got a bug up your arse isn't acceptable.
3.   If you'd like to present yourself at the school to defend the grandchild who isn't your grandchild, go for it.  I can tell you right now, there's nobody in that       school who's going to give a hoot with regard to your opinion.  What's said to the school is the business of the child's parent(s), not you.
4.   Learn to keep your temper under control when posting.

The above will serve to engender a happier moonbeam, a happier Tloonya, and a happier me.  Win/win.

[Peace77]

Tloonya, 

Maybe there was a misunderstanding.  Maybe you could go with the mother and interpret for her.  Just don't start off by calling the teacher names.  Find out what happened first.  It sounds like the teacher already tried to apologize.

[tloonya]

OMG! It is like being back to USSR! Big brother and stuff! Cool. I am going to go eat some glue and rub it on my hands as well so I can't type anymore. Heck with children. Let them swim in urine! Specially those not related to me.
Thanks. Sorry. Bye.

[tloonya]

Feb 10, 2014 22:31:12 GMT -5 Peace77 said:

Tloonya, 

Maybe there was a misunderstanding.  Maybe you could go with the mother and interpret for her.  Just don't start off by calling the teacher names.  Find out what happened first.  It sounds like the teacher already tried to apologize.

Hof course I will go WITH her mother.
And I am sure teacher apologized just because she was afraid for someone like me coming and getting her.
Otherwise if she cared for a child - she would get her at least dry pants. Hours before Mom came. Or she must called. She didn't. No exuse for that.
Imagine your kid in this cituation. I can.

[midjd]

Is it possible that between the teacher speaking English, the child being bilingual (I assume), and the parents speaking another language, that you're not getting the full story? It's hard enough to pry the truth out of a 6yo when everyone is speaking the same language.

At least get the teacher's version before you start yelling. And don't go in with a combative attitude or a chip on your shoulder....

[mmhmm]

Feb 10, 2014 22:33:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

OMG! It is like being back to USSR! Big brother and stuff! Cool. I am going to go eat some glue and rub it on my hands as well so I can't type anymore. Heck with children. Let them swim in urine! Specially those not related to me.
Thanks. Sorry. Bye.

Oh, give it up!  The drama queen act is old and, as my mini-profile puts it:  Auditions are cancelled for the day.  This ain't the USSR, never was and never will be.

[mmhmm]

Feb 10, 2014 22:42:13 GMT -5 midjd said:

Is it possible that between the teacher speaking English, the child being bilingual (I assume), and the parents speaking another language, that you're not getting the full story? It's hard enough to pry the truth out of a 6yo when everyone is speaking the same language.

At least get the teacher's version before you start yelling. And don't go in with a combative attitude or a chip on your shoulder....

It's just as possible the little one waited a bit too long and piddled in her britches.  Then, ashamed, she didn't know what to do.  There are a lot of things that could have happened.  The worst thing that can happen now is for someone to assume they know exactly what happened and raise sand all over the place.  Nothing like that to make a bad situation worse, eh?

[Shooby]

Well why let reason stand in the way when you can just assume the worst case scenario and every teacher is an incarnation of Hitler?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Hof course I will go WITH her mother.
And I am sure teacher apologized just because she was afraid for someone like me coming and getting her.
Otherwise if she cared for a child - she would get her at least dry pants. Hours before Mom came. Or she must called. She didn't. No exuse for that.
Imagine your kid in this cituation. I can.

Four words: It's ...

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

You don't know the complete story - or if the child even asked to use the bathroom (she's shy and may have had an accident at her desk before she could even ask to leave the room.

She also may have been too shy and embarrassed to even tell the teacher she was wet. Why are you so adamant about getting involved? It's NOYB, and you should keep your nose out of it since this child is in no way related to you.

All you're going to do is cause a problem for the mom - and more grief for the child if you stick your nose into it.

Children are resilient. In a day or two it will all have passed.

Let the mother deal with the teaching staff - NOT you.



.

[Shooby]

Or blow it up into a big dang deal and make sure the child understands she should now be traumatized for life.

[Shooby]

There are times as a parent to storm the beach. And there are other times to handle things discreetly and minimizing embarrassment and allowing your child to fluff things off and move on. A wise parent knows the difference.

[moon/Laura]

Feb 10, 2014 22:15:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I had cared for this child for 5 years since she came here from another country. She was 2 years old. She is calling me grandma. her family is closer to me now than all of my friends who left me because of I am too busy for them. Her family doesn't speak english enough to fight for their kid's rights.

It doesn't matter to the school. The school will not deal with you because you are not related. That's not anyone being cold and uncaring about the child. that's a FACT! and, I might mention, you never said you were going to go WITH the mother until just a few posts ago. you said "I am planning on going to school tomorrow and give them hell! "

Feb 10, 2014 22:15:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

They are deeply religious people who will never lie. Her mother is driving those kids around because no one else wants to.

Ummm. she is the mother. who else is supposed to drive them around?!

Feb 10, 2014 22:15:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

you are making me look horrible and i think horrible is that more/less prestigious school employing a teacher who doesn't feel for children.

you don't know that because you weren't there and don't know the story! you have already assumed it's all the teacher's fault though.

Feb 10, 2014 22:15:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

of course, you are moderators and you can have potatoe looking like balls as your avatar (even after people were grossed by it) but when I say something from the bottom of my heart begging for help its ok to give me cold shoulder.
I just wish I understood your game.
And the part where I had been nasty. tO WHOM? 

What does being a mod have to do with it? I told you to stop being nasty (to swamp, since you obviously throw so many insults around you can't keep them straight )

The rest of my comments have been as a person who understands that this is not your battle to fight. you asked what people would do. they told you. the fact that everyone has told you to leave it for the parents doesn't mean that we don't care about the girl. it means we know that the school will not talk to you about it. that's not a cold shoulder. that's reality! you don't have to like it, but that's the way it is.

and you sure as hell don't get to call names simply because you don't like what you hear, either.

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2014 21:21:46 GMT -5 Malarky said:

I'm sure the school isn't going to talk to looney.

But...this has been an issue for DD her whole school career and it was an issue for me as well.

I have a bladder the size of a pea.  As does DD.  I sometimes have to pee four times in an hour. You can't imagine how much fun it is to go out drinking with me.  But when I have to go, I have to go. It doesn't matter if I went 5 minutes ago. 

So DD has my permission to walk out of any class when they deny her leave to use the bathroom. Some teachers understand, others are assholes about it.  Having been the kid to wet my pants because a teacher didn't believe I had to go, again, I didn't wish that upon her.

My DD was in middle school when she had surgery on her kidney. For a couple of years afterwards, excessive frequency wasn't the problem, but when she had to pee, she had to pee right then. One time we were on the interstate and she was in the backseat crying and doubled over while I was trying to make it to an exit so she could use a restroom. While we were sorting that issue out, I gave her school a statement from her urologist confirming that she had a medical issue and she needed to be allowed to use the restroom. I didn't want her in the position where she had to choose between defying a teacher or peeing on herself.

Little kids are embarrassed enough when they wet their pants at school, it would have been totally humiliating for a kid in middle school and high school.

[zibazinski]

I taught PE. Teachers in the classroom always asked who needed to use the restroom before PE because for many years we didn't have a bathroom out there. Inevitably, I would have some kids pee right on their dot which was where they all lined up for class. It just happens like the other stuff. Those kids all managed to survive and no kid ever said a word to them about it. 

[zibazinski]

Btw, DD fell into the toilet while going in K. Sigh. She managed to survive that trauma. Her teacher and I had a very quiet and private laugh about it.

[Formerly SK]

In Kindy DS saw a kid accidentally pee in the music room (which was carpeted so there was a wet spot).  He thought it was hilarious, and decided to start peeing in class to be funny (oh the joys of autism).  It took maybe 3-4 incidences before I got through to him that having accidents in class is NOT funny and that no one will be friends with him if he continues to do it. 

My son seriously cracks me up sometimes. 

[hoops902]

Any bets on whether Loony gets arrested storming into the school today to scream about a kid she's not even related to?

[Deleted]

If the teacher went running up to the mother apologizing when she showed up it was probably something she just found out about at the end of the day.  I seriously doubt she intentionally left her in wet clothes for a long time. 

I never liked to ask to go and remember stripping off my wet underwear once and shoving them behind the radiator in the bathroom.  I'm pretty sure that smelled great when the furnace kicked in.

[NancysSummerSip]

Loony, no one at the school is going to let you in, much less speak to you. Security in schools these days, plus confidentiality laws, means you don't mean a thing to school authorities. In fact, you will likely go to jail for trespassing on school property. Hope you have cash for bail money, unless you plan to spend the night in a cell.

And as for selling the story to a newspaper or other media outlet - seriously? They don't care about the story from you. You are not the child's parent or relative. And wetting accidents happen, which is what any sensible news person is going to think, after they realize you are sounding like someone who has escaped the local padded wagon.

[Shooby]

Yeah, go to the paper and make the kid fodder for public ridicule. Really? Wow. Let it go. Kids have accidents. I think the kid would be better served to put it behind her and never mention it again. And, yes, mom should go meet with the teacher and DISCUSS like a grown up what happened and understand that working WITH the teacher TOGETHER is a far better plan.

[Shooby]

God bless teachers. I am soooo glad I don't have to do their jobs. One misstep and everyone goes apeshite. There is no room anymore for a good hearted teacher to be an actual human being and make an honest mistake. Geez.

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 11, 2014 10:06:25 GMT -5 hoops902 said:

Any bets on whether Loony gets arrested storming into the school today to scream about a kid she's not even related to?

I already did place a bet, and told her to bring bail money. Trespassing bond should be about $500 or so (third degree misdemeanor, depending on how disorderly she gets).

[tloonya]

I am amazed that you defending an adult from innocent question of mine but you can't care about a small child.
Plus mind you if adult do not like my style of writing and speaking - such adult might refrain from speaking to me, right?
Adults supposed to know what to do dealing with another adult indirectly online.
Kids don't know how to deal with superior adult.
Kid had been here since 2 so she is perfectly ok with English, Russian and another language.

And ALL we've been waiting for.
Yes I went. Without mother because she was afraid her child going to be harmed if she will found being the one who told on teacher.
She drove with me though.
It took me less than 5 min to tell principal that she must have teacher conference and tell them to pay attention or I will call local paper and name of their famous in the neighborhood school will be...wetted
I did not give out any names, I did not yelled, I was very firm and convincing. Because principal was listening to me. I left her my email and told her to email me with results of the teacher's conference. By the end of this week. And I had added if she will found my information untrue - she can email me her investigation results as well and we will continue. I am sure she will not be up to it.

I am going to try and read your posts without posting in this thread anymore. Just to be in 'safe mode' zone.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Mostly, I agree, Shooby...except for some cases.  I suppose we can all tell a story of our elementary years.  I had a girl in my class who raised her hand and asked to use the restroom.  She was told by the teacher that she had to wait.  She wet herself.  This wasn't a misstep or an honest mistake on the part of the teacher.  She was being a controlling, nasty bitch.  It was her opinion that by the time a child reached 4th grade, they should be able to practice self-control and wait 15 minutes until the recess bell.   

As an aside, my mother did go into the school after I told her what happened.  She made it clear that if I needed to use the restroom, they better damn well let me use the restroom and if what happened with the other young lady happened to HER daughter, heads were going to roll (and knowing my mother there is no doubt that would have happeend).  Didn't matter that it wasn't her child who was hurt - it was somebody's child and could be hers the next time.  I highly doubt my mother cared one iota whether or not the school thought she was a "whack job".

I know, in Looney's case, the details are uncertain.  I hope it gets straightened out.

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 11, 2014 10:47:36 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Mostly, I agree, Shooby...except for some cases.  I suppose we can all tell a story of our elementary years.  I had a girl in my class who raised her hand and asked to use the restroom.  She was told by the teacher that she had to wait.  She wet herself.  This wasn't a misstep or an honest mistake on the part of the teacher.  She was being a controlling, nasty bitch.  It was her opinion that by the time a child reached 4th grade, they should be able to practice self-control and wait 15 minutes until the recess bell.   

As an aside, my mother did go into the school after I told her what happened.  She made it clear that if I needed to use the restroom, they better damn well let me use the restroom and if what happened with the other young lady happened to HER daughter, heads were going to roll (and knowing my mother there is no doubt that would have happeend).  Didn't matter that it wasn't her child who was hurt - it was somebody's child and could be hers the next time.  I highly doubt my mother cared one iota whether or not the school thought she was a "whack job".

I know, in Looney's case, the details are uncertain.  I hope it gets straightened out.

GEL, we're talking about a different time and place. Schools no longer allow just anyone on campus. Loony has yet to understand that. School resource officers will stop her. And you also mention YOUR mother coming in on YOUR behalf, not some screaming banshee friend or neighbor who is not a relation to you and does not have permission to be on school grounds.
And believe me, I was not kidding about Loony getting arrested for trespassing/disorderly conduct. She could easily add assault charges to that as well (and no, assault does NOT mean physically coming in contact with someone; that's battery. Assault can be verbal.)

[Green Eyed Lady]

Nancy...policies probably vary from school to school, but if you have a child in a school here and go in and ask to speak to administration, you get in.  We don't have armed guards at doors.  We don't have resource officers.  In fact, the doors aren't even locked.  It was no issue then, nor is it an issue now to get in to the school to talk to people in charge.  Different time?  Yes.  Different place?  Nope.  Not saying the security is tight in any way, but it sort of depends where you live.  It would not be an issue here and probably won't be until something bad happens. 

It appears, according to Looney, that she did get in and said her piece.  Since she's posting, she evidently didn't get arrested either. 

[muttleynfelix]

Feb 11, 2014 2:58:37 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Well why let reason stand in the way when you can just assume the worst case scenario and every teacher is an incarnation of Hitler?

Wouldn't it be Stalin and not Hitler in this case?  

[hoops902]

::I did not give out any names, I did not yelled, I was very firm and convincing. Because principal was listening to me. I left her my email and told her to email me with results of the teacher's conference. By the end of this week. And I had added if she will found my information untrue - she can email me her investigation results as well and we will continue. I am sure she will not be up to it.::

I'm sure she won't be up for it either.  Why would she send an email about something which is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS?

::It appears, according to Looney, that she did get in and said her piece. Since she's posting, she evidently didn't get arrested either. ::

She doesn't sound like she was nearly as worked up when she went in as she portrayed herself to be originally. Originally she made it out to be "I'm going in there and I'm going to tell them what to do or else I'm going to sell the story to the news"...now it's "I went in there and didn't give any specifics and just asked them to talk to their teachers".

[muttleynfelix]

Personally, I think if the mother brings Loony as an interpreter, I would assume the school would let her in. But Loony needs to not go confrontationally. There is still a lot of school year left to put everyone on a note where they are completely pissed off. 

[hoops902]

::Personally, I think if the mother brings Loony as an interpreter,::

Apparently mom stayed in the car because she didn't want to be involved.  Great mothering by the way.