Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 28, 2014 20:19:38 GMT -5
being the 'Good Guy' is tough! now what is she going to do to find your replacement? can she afford a proper babysitter? what if she finds someone else that you know to babysit? will they bad mouth you for suddenly dropping your promise to babysit for this year? what's worse! say you give two weeks notice - being the good guy giving her plenty of time to find your replacement. She doesn't look AT ALL! then when your last day arrives she actually fixes her lips to say some stupid shit like: OH that's right today is the last day? I was so busy I totally forgot to look for another babysitter! can you give me two more weeks? I promise to look! OK? and at that point is when you realize you were being used! What she does or doesn't do I wouldn't care a whit. As long as she is doing it without me.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jan 28, 2014 20:22:49 GMT -5
MK: If you feel you must give her notice you're terminating your services, give her ONE week's notice max - either tomorrow, Thur or Fri. That will give PotMom 5-7 days to find another childcare provider.
Your services for her will end on Feb 7/14 - earlier if she finds someone else to take her child.
And then by next Friday (latest) you'll be done with her once and for all.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 20:28:19 GMT -5
Thanks everyone!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 23:00:31 GMT -5
" You can think badly of me but at least I know my limits and know what I have do so I don't end up on the local news "
Oh no, i don't think badly of you (if you meant me specifically). I was just trying to say i would not want someone who wasn't happy with watching my child be forced to watch or feel like they are. It is not fair to him (or the sitter). And i wouldn't want to watch a stranger's baby everyday all day either.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 28, 2014 23:04:06 GMT -5
Well there you go. Maybe Pot Mom is justified since she has a miserable kid!
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grits
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Post by grits on Jan 28, 2014 23:06:47 GMT -5
If you are irritated as hell, try Boudreaux's Butt Paste. It works great on rashes, chafing, sores, and irritations. I know for sure that Walgreen's here carries it.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 23:21:22 GMT -5
Lol, thanks for the tip grits
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grits
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Post by grits on Jan 28, 2014 23:29:04 GMT -5
You are most welcome.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 29, 2014 9:29:39 GMT -5
Folks like "pot mom" never have a problem finding someone else to replace the last person to help them (for money or whatever). Yes, MK was being paid but pm started taking advantage by having "meetings" and such and showing up late.
She is a user and she will find someone else to use. Don't feel guilty about whatever notice you feel you need to give. You are a better person than me.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 9:32:50 GMT -5
Substance user/abusers are also people user/abusers. They only care about themselves.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2014 17:25:30 GMT -5
"She is a user and she will find someone else to use."
Not only that but she will find a replacement easily jyst because she doesn't seem to care much anyway. Any of us could easily replace a babysitter with short notice if we didnt care who the caregiver is. If she cared, she wouldnt be smoking pot around her kid, or actually smoking pot period!
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 29, 2014 17:37:52 GMT -5
There's really no difference, other than legally, between smoking pot once in a while and having a few drinks. I know plenty of parents that have a few drinks on occasion.
I don't drive my kids around after having a few, but I don't think I'm a horrible parent for having a couple drinks on a Friday evening.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2014 17:45:14 GMT -5
Shooby seems to think that we are encouraging MK to tell the mom because we are worried about the mom's ability to find somebody else. I agree with what WB said, I do feel I need to give her some notice. I always need to do what is right TO ME. The definition of "some" notice is variable, for me it's two weeks, but I know it's different for oter people. It's true that if I were Potmom, I would prefer to find out during the working week, when I could at least phone and get some initial info on other possible daycare arrangements. But personally, and I KNOW I AM NOT ALONE HERE, most of us are encouraging MK to tell Potmom ASAP so that MK can get it off her chest, and feel the relief of knowing the hard part (announcing the news that Potmom has to find a new childcare arrangement) is over, ie the end is in sight for MK and her family. That's MY take. I am a worrier, so I know that when I'm worried about something, I ALWAYS feel SO MUCH better once I've announced my decision to the other party. I gave two recent examples of that in my own life: not taking my old (non-cleaning) cleaner back after her broken leg heals, and not commuting 2h per day from work for an extra one-week PT job I (stupidly) agreed to do before I had the relevant info (because the person withheld it, for obvious reasons. No sane person would have ever accepted to do even 5.5 VERY well paid hours in 3 separate trips, with an extra 2h commute per trip.) Both times, I was stressed out for WEEKS. But once I decided, AND ANNOUNCED, sorry, no can do, I SLEPT LIKE A ROCK!!! I have NO CLUE as to how the other people involved slept that night, but like Shooby says, that's not my problem. I am just trying to encourage MK to "get it over with" so that SHE can stop stressing about this arrangement.
And I know that I'm not alone. Good luck MK!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 29, 2014 17:45:20 GMT -5
There's really no difference, other than legally, between smoking pot once in a while and having a few drinks. I know plenty of parents that have a few drinks on occasion. I don't drive my kids around after having a few, but I don't think I'm a horrible parent for having a couple drinks on a Friday evening. But I think somewhere buried in earlier posts that she picked the baby up and was stoned. She had to drive the baby home while stoned then. Big difference.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2014 19:10:44 GMT -5
There's really no difference, other than legally, between smoking pot once in a while and having a few drinks. I know plenty of parents that have a few drinks on occasion. I don't drive my kids around after having a few, but I don't think I'm a horrible parent for having a couple drinks on a Friday evening. But I think somewhere buried in earlier posts that she picked the baby up and was stoned. She had to drive the baby home while stoned then. Big difference. yeah but MK didn't do anything about it so clearly she was ok with it
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 29, 2014 19:11:30 GMT -5
This is it exactly! While I don't think smoking pot is the end all be all, driving and smoking pot in the house with the baby to me is very wrong. Stopping to get high and buy your stash after telling me you got off work early and will be there soon and show up way later that I expect you is not fair to me. I plan on telling her that her baby is just to much for me to handle. The baby is extremly needy and I can't even get cleaning and cooking done much and that is taking it's toll on my family. I think a daycare where the baby can get the 24/7 attention it needs is going to be the best thing for baby. I have a kid at home too and can't even give him the attention he needs because this. My kid I could put down for a bit and get things done, this is not the case with this child. And the people at a daycare can rotate, I can't Yes being a SAHM should make me a good candidate for sitting, but ten hours a day on average is taking it's toll.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 29, 2014 19:24:55 GMT -5
Just because I didn't do anything doesn't mean I don't care. Another reason if she gets the baby into a daycare, they can make better judgement calls on calling cps or something. I no longer want to deal with this situation and I am getting myself out of it.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jan 29, 2014 19:25:36 GMT -5
So, did you tell her yet? I would tell her tommorow if you haven't told her yet.
Say something like "I will not be able to babysit your baby anymore. My last day will be Feb. 7th. Effective immediately, there will be a $2 /hr surcharge after x:00 pm."
If you have trouble telling her, write it down and hand her your note.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 19:28:31 GMT -5
There's really no difference, other than legally, between smoking pot once in a while and having a few drinks. I know plenty of parents that have a few drinks on occasion. I don't drive my kids around after having a few, but I don't think I'm a horrible parent for having a couple drinks on a Friday evening. This isn't a debate about whether pot is better or worse than alcohol. The POINT is that IF it is ILLEGAL in your state and you choose to use it and risk going to jail and having your kid grow up without a mother, then you are clearly a MORON.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 19:30:01 GMT -5
This is it exactly! While I don't think smoking pot is the end all be all, driving and smoking pot in the house with the baby to me is very wrong. Stopping to get high and buy your stash after telling me you got off work early and will be there soon and show up way later that I expect you is not fair to me. I plan on telling her that her baby is just to much for me to handle. The baby is extremly needy and I can't even get cleaning and cooking done much and that is taking it's toll on my family. I think a daycare where the baby can get the 24/7 attention it needs is going to be the best thing for baby. I have a kid at home too and can't even give him the attention he needs because this. My kid I could put down for a bit and get things done, this is not the case with this child. And the people at a daycare can rotate, I can't Yes being a SAHM should make me a good candidate for sitting, but ten hours a day on average is taking it's toll. You explain too much. You don't want to do it anymore. WHY you don't want to do it anymore isn't anyone's business, including hers. You simply tell you are DONE. PERIOD. You don't have to explain yourself or apologize for doing what you want to do.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 19:30:44 GMT -5
But I think somewhere buried in earlier posts that she picked the baby up and was stoned. She had to drive the baby home while stoned then. Big difference. yeah but MK didn't do anything about it so clearly she was ok with it That's unfair. She was put in a bad position and really didn't know what to do.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jan 29, 2014 19:31:27 GMT -5
For once I'm in agreement with shooby....
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 19:32:44 GMT -5
And, the problem with that is what....exactly? Maybe you are turning the corner! Or, maybe you are finally taking the time to read what I actually say versus just reacting.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2014 19:40:32 GMT -5
Just because I didn't do anything doesn't mean I don't care. Another reason if she gets the baby into a daycare, they can make better judgement calls on calling cps or something. I no longer want to deal with this situation and I am getting myself out of it. so if she had shown up drunk and stumbling you would have handed the baby over? what if you saw her leave without putting the baby in a carseat? yes, by not doing anything you implied acceptance of whatever it was. if you saw someone beating their kid would you do something about it?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 19:42:35 GMT -5
Really? You are going to make this about HER and now it is HER fault because the kid has an idiot mother?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 29, 2014 19:45:39 GMT -5
Really? You are going to make this about HER and now it is HER fault because the kid has an idiot mother? we're talking 2 separate issues here....she doesn't want to watch the kid any more, she needs to tell the mother....she's complaining about the pot smoking but clearly it didn't bother her too bad.....
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 29, 2014 19:47:01 GMT -5
My county treats it just like a traffic ticket. Not a felony, not a misdemeanor, it's a civil violation or something like that. As long as it's under an ounce anyway. So, no risk of jail. Even for repeat offenders. We also have medical marijuana legalized, which really means anyone with $100 to spend can get a prescription from a state licensed doctor in under 30 minutes totally online. No appointment or physical needed.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 19:47:35 GMT -5
So, you have acted exactly as you should have in every circumstance? Well, bully for you. All the MORE reason she should call her and tell her she is DONE right now.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 29, 2014 19:48:06 GMT -5
My county treats it just like a traffic ticket. Not a felony, not a misdemeanor, it's a civil violation or something like that. As long as it's under an ounce anyway. So, no risk of jail. Even for repeat offenders. We also have medical marijuana legalized, which really means anyone with $100 to spend can get a prescription from a state licensed doctor in under 30 minutes totally online. No appointment or physical needed. Really? And, you wouldn't lose your job over that as well? Oh Ok. Dumb, dumb.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 29, 2014 19:48:21 GMT -5
Thank you Shooby! I guess I feel I need to explain myself because I can't explain all of the nuances of what is going on and while I won't get offended for harsh responses I just want everyone to know where I am coming from. Which I have rambled on here quite well Every opinion here has been helpful to me
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