Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 28, 2014 11:37:23 GMT -5
Unless you have a contract stating otherwise you can quit a job any time you want. Just like employers can fire people with mimimal notice as well.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jan 28, 2014 11:38:08 GMT -5
Tough taters. Don't show up stoned to pick your kid late. Not HER problem. Wow. Just because it's not her problem doesn't mean she needs to make things unnecessarily difficult for "pot mom," particularly since it sounds like she hasn't given "pot mom" much, if any, notice that she is dissatisfied with the arrangement. Yes, this woman is paying waaay below market rate, and she is smoking around her child, but she is still entitled to reasonable notice (particularly as any replacement daycare will be substantially more expensive.) I try to be polite and do the right thing based on MY morals, conscious and all that jazz. If MittyKitty is good with Friday, that's fine. Pot Mom's going to be up a creek regardless, in my opinion. And I think she deserves to be. But the only person who's life MittyKitty needs to make easier is her own.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 11:52:53 GMT -5
Honestly I don't care about the pay at this point. Most of the earned money goes to getting food out now because frankly at the end of the day I am so tired I don't feel like cooking. The baby's needs are to much at this point for me to deal with when I still have a household run. We have one child for a reason and that's what I can handle. More power to the woman who can do it with more than one. I want to be able to cook good dinners and clean my house the way it needs to be done without a baby screaming and crying ALL day long. Not being able to have some time to do things I need to do during the day is taking it's toll on this house. Not to mention my blood pressure is so high at the end of the day my head feels like it's going to pop Daycare will be a much better fit because they have people to rotate taking care of the child and that is needed. I guess I had a easy baby because this is new territory for me.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Jan 28, 2014 11:57:48 GMT -5
Honestly I don't care about the pay at this point. Most of the earned money goes to getting food out now because frankly at the end of the day I am so tired I don't feel like cooking. The baby's needs are to much at this point for me to deal with when I still have a household run. We have one child for a reason and that's what I can handle. More power to the woman who can do it with more than one. I want to be able to cook good dinners and clean my house the way it needs to be done without a baby screaming and crying ALL day long. Not being able to have some time to do things I need to do during the day is taking it's toll on this house. Not to mention my blood pressure is so high at the end of the day my head feels like it's going to pop Daycare will be a much better fit because they have people to rotate taking care of the child and that is needed. I guess I had a easy baby because this is new territory for me. I really think you should just get it over with and tell her today when she picks up the child. Give her however much notice you and DH decided upon. You are under a ton of stress and I am sure just dreading the conversation is making the stress even worse. You should feel so much relief once it is done, even though you will still have the baby a while longer.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jan 28, 2014 11:58:28 GMT -5
Mittykitty, You sound exhausted and stressed out. I can't imagine why you are waiting to give her notice. Why not do it today?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jan 28, 2014 12:02:17 GMT -5
The problem I see with telling the woman on Friday is it's going to make it more difficult for her to find alternate care for the child because of the weekend. If it were me, I'd give her two weeks notice and tell her no later than tomorrow. That way, she has a couple of days before the weekend to look for a new care-giver.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jan 28, 2014 12:03:40 GMT -5
Market rate depends on the area. I don't know where she lives, but I originally paid $100/week to a SAHM for DS1 when he was an infant. When she quit, I went to a licensed in-home daycare for $115/week. Due to tax deductions I was able to take with the licensed place, that would up being about the same for us. DS2 is $100 more per week, so it is now $215 for an almost 4 yo and a 15 month old. I know this is dirt cheap, but I wouldn't expect to pay much more elsewhere. I found some slightly higher, and a few places slightly lower in price. LCOL can be great!
Mitty, I've found having 2 under 4 is a huge challenge. I think you would find it a breeze if you were to watch a classmate of your DS's when school is out.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 12:08:13 GMT -5
Thankfully today is a bad weather day and I don't have the baby today and I want to talk face to face about it. I don't want the rest of the week to feel awkward if she reacts badly.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 12:08:51 GMT -5
She doesn't need child care on the weekend.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 28, 2014 13:42:37 GMT -5
Entitled to it... really? Does she have a contract to enforce that? No. Then she ain't entitled to shit.
Remember when Dox told us about her parents watching her kids practically for free? What did we all tell her? She should get a backup plan ASAP in case that sweet arrangement went away. Same deal here. Pot mom had a good deal going, but she screwed it up, and now she's going to have to rely on her backup plan. If she didn't have one, she's an idiot. Who's honestly going to watch a kid full time for years on end for a quarter of minimum wage? Nobody.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jan 28, 2014 13:52:25 GMT -5
Most of the earned money goes to getting food out now because frankly at the end of the day I am so tired I don't feel like cooking. I want to be able to cook good dinners and clean my house the way it needs to be done without a baby screaming and crying ALL day long. Not to mention my blood pressure is so high at the end of the day my head feels like it's going to pop I guess I had a easy baby because this is new territory for me. Since you've had an easy baby, you can easily see the difference between one that pops out as an easy baby and one that pops out a bit more irritable. Can we count on you to chime in on any future threads where the people who only had easy babies post about how they have no clue why people can't keep their house spotless, cook homemade meals, etc. while they stay home since it's so simple to lay the little angel down to peacefully do his thing while you quietly work away?
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 13:55:04 GMT -5
I can and will Milee!!!
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milee
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Post by milee on Jan 28, 2014 13:57:52 GMT -5
I can and will Milee!!! Thanks.
I understand, too, since my oldest was a really tough baby. #2 was so mellow (which I think is actually more of just what a normal baby is), I actually asked the pediatrician if something was wrong with him. "He's not crying all the time, sleeps more than an hour stretch, doesn't need constant movement and will ride quietly in a car seat - OMG, is he retarded?!?"
But for people who've only had the mellower kind, I think they think that those of us with a fussy one are just doing it wrong somehow.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 14:05:44 GMT -5
Entitled to it... really? Does she have a contract to enforce that? No. Then she ain't entitled to shit. Remember when Dox told us about her parents watching her kids practically for free? What did we all tell her? She should get a backup plan ASAP in case that sweet arrangement went away. Same deal here. Pot mom had a good deal going, but she screwed it up, and now she's going to have to rely on her backup plan. If she didn't have one, she's an idiot. Who's honestly going to watch a kid full time for years on end for a quarter of minimum wage? Nobody.Well, actually $100-$125/week is the going rate around here, but then they usually have several kids at once.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Jan 28, 2014 14:09:09 GMT -5
She doesn't need child care on the weekend. No, of course not. But if you give her notice tomorrow or Thursday, she'd have Thurs and/or Fri to start making calls. If you give her notice Friday, she won't be able to start calling around until Monday. That's why it would be a kindness, imo, to tell her asap. I'd give her a couple of weeks' notice. (Not because she's entitled to it, but because it's the considerate thing to do - and you are a considerate person)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 15:42:56 GMT -5
this entire thing is exactly why 'having the SAHM down the street watch my baby' is not really a good plan
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 28, 2014 17:20:45 GMT -5
If you all want to make a Pothead mom's life your problem. Well have at it. For me I would have been done with this woman 4 pages ago and would have already moved on. Have fun.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 28, 2014 17:54:53 GMT -5
Crying all day almost sounds like some kind of withdrawal thing. Sorry. Anyway, a crib or a playpen is your friend. My pediatrician told me DS was going to be unhappy with his teeth cutting anyway so me stressing over it wasnt going to help and just leave him to cry. Very hard to do but I did. This isn't even your baby. Check for wet or hungry or need burping and then let it cry. Seriously. Then do what needs to be done.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jan 28, 2014 18:01:53 GMT -5
She doesn't need child care on the weekend. No, she doesn't. However, she also can't get in touch with day care centers or other care possibilities on weekends, since most are closed.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 19:11:18 GMT -5
"Honestly I don't care about the pay at this point. Most of the earned money goes to getting food out now because frankly at the end of the day I am so tired I don't feel like cooking. The baby's needs are to much at this point for me to deal with when I still have a household run. We have one child for a reason and that's what I can handle. More power to the woman who can do it with more than one. I want to be able to cook good dinners and clean my house the way it needs to be done without a baby screaming and crying ALL day long. Not being able to have some time to do things I need to do during the day is taking it's toll on this house. Not to mention my blood pressure is so high at the end of the day my head feels like it's going to pop Daycare will be a much better fit because they have people to rotate taking care of the child and that is needed. I guess I had a easy baby because this is new territory for me. "
I am going to comment from a different angle after reading this. You have stated several times you don 't want to take care of a screaming baby. So this really has nothing to do with pay or the pot smoking. And that is exactly why you haven't said a thing either until now. You just can't deal with a screaming baby, which is perfectly understandable. It is easier to deal with all the hardships when it is your own baby. I think it is good that you are going to stop. As a mom to a young child i would hate for someone who is feeling the way you do watch my baby.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 28, 2014 19:13:10 GMT -5
Not sure how we have devolved from Pot Mom being an inconsiderate Ahole to all of the sudden she needs a month's notice.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 19:16:50 GMT -5
" Not sure how we have devolved from Pot Mom being an inconsiderate Ahole to all of the sudden she needs a month's notice. "
She is still an ahole but like another poster said 2 wrongs dont make it right.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 28, 2014 19:31:35 GMT -5
But there is no "wrong" in her ending it immediately.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2014 19:38:42 GMT -5
If she never said anything to the mother these past months about being unhappy with the arrangement, then yes, it's a pretty shitty thing to do to just say you're done with no notice. <br>
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jan 28, 2014 19:55:25 GMT -5
Crying all day almost sounds like some kind of withdrawal thing. Sorry. Anyway, a crib or a playpen is your friend. My pediatrician told me DS was going to be unhappy with his teeth cutting anyway so me stressing over it wasnt going to help and just leave him to cry. Very hard to do but I did. This isn't even your baby. Check for wet or hungry or need burping and then let it cry. Seriously. Then do what needs to be done. My dd cried a.lot. as in all day most days. She wasn't withdrawing from anything except maybe the boob when I was at work. But she still cried on the weekends too. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 19:58:56 GMT -5
Bunnysmom, it has only been recently that I have started to feel this way. The night she was later because of the pot thing is what really got to me and the fact that she seems to be having emergency meets on unagreed upon evenings too. The baby has gotten fussier as of late and these things in culmination are just to much. This is why I want to stop sitting. I don't want to be a bad babysitter the solution is simple. I would never neglect the baby and I also don't need my kid to see me cry in the middle of the day because I am frustrated. It will be better for everyone involved. You can think badly of me but at least I know my limits and know what I have do so I don't end up on the local news j/k What I thought would be a easy day job is now sucking the life out of me. The fact that she smokes pot around the kid makes me worry that cps is going to show up and start asking questions. If the baby is in a licensed day care if they suspect her of being high they will call cps.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jan 28, 2014 20:02:55 GMT -5
Crying all day almost sounds like some kind of withdrawal thing. Sorry. Anyway, a crib or a playpen is your friend. My pediatrician told me DS was going to be unhappy with his teeth cutting anyway so me stressing over it wasnt going to help and just leave him to cry. Very hard to do but I did. This isn't even your baby. Check for wet or hungry or need burping and then let it cry. Seriously. Then do what needs to be done. My dd cried a.lot. as in all day most days. She wasn't withdrawing from anything except maybe the boob when I was at work. But she still cried on the weekends too. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards Yeah, DD cried for most of 3 weeks while we were trying to figure out her milk issues. She still cries for 15-20 minutes every evening because she gets overtired and can't figure out how to fall asleep. I can't imagine foisting her off (during her mega-crying phase) on a babysitter for 50 hours/$100 a week, though. There are some days when I just have to put her down in her crib and leave the room, and I'm her mother...
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Jan 28, 2014 20:08:50 GMT -5
being the 'Good Guy' is tough! now what is she going to do to find your replacement? can she afford a proper babysitter? what if she finds someone else that you know to babysit? will they bad mouth you for suddenly dropping your promise to babysit for this year? what's worse! say you give two weeks notice - being the good guy giving her plenty of time to find your replacement. She doesn't look AT ALL! then when your last day arrives she actually fixes her lips to say some stupid shit like: OH that's right today is the last day? I was so busy I totally forgot to look for another babysitter! can you give me two more weeks? I promise to look! OK? and at that point is when you realize you were being used!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 28, 2014 20:17:14 GMT -5
If she never said anything to the mother these past months about being unhappy with the arrangement, then yes, it's a pretty shitty thing to do to just say you're done with no notice. <br> Tough taters. Maybe she can use some of hef pot money to find someone to watch her kid on short notice. Sheesh.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 28, 2014 20:17:17 GMT -5
And then I say, to bad. I am nice but not that nice. I don't care if I get bad mouthed because I am not trying to be a bitch, just trying to get my mental health back and my family back in order. Stick and stones. Plus I don't really hang out with any of that circle, just a few girls nights over the last few years. I have my own friends.
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