MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 24, 2014 21:25:55 GMT -5
So like a good YM'er I took a babysitting job for the year and feel like I am at the end of my rope. Background: I am a stay at home mom of one. I have a neighbor who introduced me to a woman and we have hung out on girls nights with the neighbor on several occasions. She became pregnant and had her baby last summer. I was apparently the first choice as a babysitter because of my situation and was asked to babysit for her. I liked all of the ladies at first and had some good times so thought everything would be cool. I agreed and asked for very little money because she is a single mom. I am feeling very much like this is not what I signed up for because after the fact I was told she has to stay late two days a week and also get stuck stitting late when she has emergency meetings now as well. I watch the baby for about ten hours a day and he is super fussy and has really bad tummy issues as well The baby is sweet, no fault of their own but after trying to talk to the mom about fixing the issues for months on end with no fix is frustrating as hell. I feel bad. I feel it is a food allergy since I deal with this with my own child. Anyway... Today she got out of work early, texted me, said I need to make a stop and then I will be there. She showed up a hour and a half later and come to find out stopped by her friends house to get high and pick up some pot I am beyond pissed! What say you! I am not babysitting next year!!!
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 24, 2014 21:35:52 GMT -5
How bad do you need the money? How will this affect your other relationships and would you care if negatively? If the answers are you don't need the money that bad and you don't care or it won't affect current friendships with others I would give her 2-4? weeks notice that she needs to make other arrangements as the current situation is not working out for you. Then point and say "You're fired!" Sorry - I couldn't resist.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 24, 2014 21:37:25 GMT -5
Tell her to go pound salt. I would not babysit for her one more day.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 24, 2014 21:39:51 GMT -5
This is a case of No good deed goes unpunished.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Jan 24, 2014 21:46:33 GMT -5
How about telling her you just got an AWESOME job offer that's too good to pass up. Next week will be the last week you'll be available to babysit...
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justme
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Post by justme on Jan 24, 2014 21:48:24 GMT -5
I don't think I would continue to watch the child. That's just too much time, especially if it's a nominal amount and you're not paid when she's late. (And I don't think I could stomach handing an infant back to a mom when I know she could be high.) But, she probably needs more than a few weeks notice. I'd probably call around to some dcps near and see how long the wait is to get in and take an average of that and give her your notice as that. So if you call 4 and the time ranges from 2-4 months maybe give her 3 months. And maybe give her a list of places, but maybe not - depends on her response. I thinking giving her the longer lead time might lead to less of an implosion of things/relationships with others you are friends with, assuming you can put up with that much longer of it.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 24, 2014 21:58:33 GMT -5
We can absolutely use the money but I don't want to be taken advantage of. I would like to be friends as we get along but we have not done anything outside of the girls nights but this have gotten weird because the neighbor who introduced us is having crazy marital issues, moved away, comes to visit and stirs up shit between everyone. I try to stay out of all of it because I don't enjoy drama in my life and DH is not a fan of what is going down. He is wondering how long I can hold out because at the end of the day I am near tears, everyday lately I do want to earn some money for us because we need it and I am lucky to stay home but I do know the end of the school year is it for me. I also want to be a room mom next year when DS goes to kindergarten. I'm such a wuss because as much as I want to say something I don't know how
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 24, 2014 22:01:55 GMT -5
Also we are a one car family right now and will be getting another this summer because of DS starting school so getting a job outside of the house at the moment is a bit hard. I may need some really good money saving ideas here guys! Thanks for another view point!
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 24, 2014 22:07:10 GMT -5
I must be the biggest push over, I work about fifty hours a week for $400 a month. I thought it was ok till I barely had time for anything else.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2014 22:12:03 GMT -5
Been where you are Mitty. Babysitting is really hard to do. The wait for mom to come pick the baby up seems to drag on and on. Don't feel bad about no longer wanting to do it.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 24, 2014 22:19:01 GMT -5
Thanks, I just wanted to know I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I do about the way things are playing out. I know meetings happen, but don't expect me to be pleased when I find out you went and got high when I am expecting you to pick up your kid, who is screaming their head off because they want their mommy!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 24, 2014 22:23:05 GMT -5
She is taking advantage of you and shows up high to drive her kid home and you want to remain friends with her why,?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2014 22:25:36 GMT -5
You are enabling her drug habit by charging so little for daycare. Double your price and let her decide what her priorities are.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jan 24, 2014 22:34:12 GMT -5
She is taking advantage of you and shows up high to drive her kid home and you want to remain friends with her why,? Shooby and I are not often on the same page but this is a wholehearted ,!!! you are making yourself sick over less than $2/ hr FCOL! Unless this money is needed as a matter of survival, stop it! Give her two weeks notice and at the same time tell her that during those two weeks you are not available for any babysitting after X pm or whatever. Also, going forward you need to be paid upfront including previous day OT which will be charged at minimum wage rate.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 24, 2014 22:36:01 GMT -5
I would tell her that she ever showed up high on pot that you are going to call the police and report her.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 24, 2014 22:36:45 GMT -5
I think inmates make more picking up garbage on the side of the road.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 24, 2014 22:54:04 GMT -5
Thank you guys! I needed a kick in the ass and have to man up I guess. I had hoped she would stop with the pot now that she has a kid but no. I am not good friends with her and we don't hang out on a regular basis FYI, I only see her when she picks up and drops off. It has not worked out as a friendship. I don't look down on pot smoking but when you smoke in the house with a baby even if it's not in the same room that is wrong as hell. I have gotten a call where she though the baby was acting strange and wanted me to come check on him. When I got there I found out she had smoked in the house with the baby and he was all mellow Really Ugh, I don't like being in this situation!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 24, 2014 22:59:31 GMT -5
She's an idiot! I wouldn't even do one more day for her.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jan 25, 2014 0:22:48 GMT -5
Are you mandated to report even if you aren't a licensed DCP? Pretty sure that I would call just to cover your own ass. The last thing you want is for something to happen and then it comes back that MK knew about it all along and never spoke up so you get charged too. I know everyone has their own feelings on pot usage, but to let yourself do any kind of impairing substance when you are the sole adult responsible for a child is not a good idea, IMO. The fact that she called for assitance with the baby because she had smoked so much around him that it may have also affected him physically is really bad.
Otherwise, around here home dc for an infant is $40/day and drops to about $25/day when they are potty trained. You are only charging half of that! Time to raise the rates (with notice, of course). And since her schedule is so crazy you may want to let her know that the standard rate covers a certain number of hours. Past that time you will charge $5/30 mins. Rates paid in advance in cash to be sure you won't get bad checks.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 25, 2014 0:36:20 GMT -5
If pot is illegal there then it really doesn't matter how anyone feels about it. I never triedit but I sususpect it is no worse than alcohol. However she is being a dumbarse who is risking possibly wibding up in jail or worse .
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Jan 25, 2014 0:42:31 GMT -5
My SIL babysat to help a friend and ended up feeling taken advantage of as well. Im not really sure what excuse she used to get out of it but I vaguely remember her telling me she was going to up her rates significantly and see what she said. You can tell her you need more income and need to dedicate your time to looking for a job.
I wouldn't leave her high and dry but I would give her a defined period of time to find a new sitter....say 4-6 weeks. I personally wouldn't do any legwork as that doesn't fall under the category of "my" problem either. Its her responsibility. What if you cant find what she considers suitable (cheap) daycare? She may try and guilt you into keeping the kid just a little longer. Give her a fair date and stick with it....but let her take responsibility for finding her own daycare.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 25, 2014 0:45:01 GMT -5
50 hours a week for $400 a month... and I thought my salary was pathetic.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 25, 2014 0:49:24 GMT -5
I really don't believe she needs an excuse. She doesn't owe this woman anything. Stand up fir yourself to people ans be forthright without excuses. This woman's babysitting problem is not HER problem. She doesn't need to tell her why other than to say that she is no longer to going to sit , period. However if she feels sorry for the baby and wants to give this moron a few days or week's notice that is up to her. But I would in no way inconvenience myself at this point. I am really not sure why people think they need an excuse about anything. Just be matter of fact.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 25, 2014 0:51:56 GMT -5
If she tried to "guilt" me with some BS I would look her square in the eye and say " if u don't stop smoking pot and driving, I will call the Police. ". And I am sure that would end any further guilt inducement!
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jan 25, 2014 1:00:41 GMT -5
50 hours a week for $400 a month... and I thought my salary was pathetic. Looks like you are rolling in it dude
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Jan 25, 2014 1:13:07 GMT -5
Daycare sometimes charges up to $5 a minute for overtime. I would quit immediately let daycare be her problem but if you want to give notice set your hours and penalty for late pickup. She doesn't value your time and is using you. People with a kid in daycare don't work late or shop on the way home or stop to get high while someone is watching the kid for free. I would charge her a dollar a minute past pick up time. She wants to attend a meeting for an hour after work it will cost her $60 her choice how important the meeting is.
Since you have your own family you can't have her kid there while you are trying to make dinner and have family time so the penalty should be great. Babies don't want to be in daycare long hours. Smoking anything in the presence of babies is wrong. Tell her you will be reporting it to CPS if she does anything that is bad for the baby.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2014 8:20:54 GMT -5
I don't understand why you would have handed a baby over to someone who was high....I would have called the police and not really given a s*^t if she got mad at you.
It sounds like you didn't set specific ground rules when you started doing this - time you open, time you close, cost for any time beyond that, etc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 25, 2014 8:25:48 GMT -5
and since it sounds like your family needs money, I would start looking for a full time job for when your DS starts K and he can use before and after care. your money issues are not going to get better unless you are expecting your DH to get significant raises. since you aren't paying for daycare for DS, your expenses aren't going to drop, in fact, they're going to increase.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 25, 2014 8:37:29 GMT -5
I am going to mull things over this weekend and talk to DH. I really needed outside input and knew this was the perfect place to come I do plan on finding something part time after DS goes to school, we just need to get a few debts paid off and we will be fine which is why we can use the money right now. I think setting some better ground rules at the moment is a very good start.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 25, 2014 8:51:19 GMT -5
I had someone offer to babysit DD when she got too old for me to take her to office and I was still on maternity from school. She asked for and I paid her $5 an hour and that was in 1989. She used it to buy groceries because her husband wasnt working, another story. He got involved and told her to ask me for more money. Now I didn't abuse her like yours has been abusing you but a deals a deal. I told her I'd think it over and when I did, I fired her, much to her unhappiness. A deals a deal and she asked me to babysit DD. only when suckass got involved did it become an issue. It also ended our friendship. I'm sure she felt bad but I felt nothing but annoyance at her. Her husband gets a pass because he was always a jerk but she should have stood up to him and didn't. I would have called the cops the minute she left high with a baby but that's me. If you need the money to get a few more bills paid off then suck it up until they are paid off but be prepared for if you ask more money to get fired or abused even further. People are not grateful and she thinks she is doing you a favor. She seems the type to leave the baby alone to go party frankly.
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