HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 15, 2013 18:01:00 GMT -5
Sorry to take over the thread, but I have to post this:
|
|
constanz22
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:32:17 GMT -5
Posts: 4,219
|
Post by constanz22 on Nov 15, 2013 18:02:11 GMT -5
OMG, that SO sounds like me....I think it gets a little better as I age, but I know it will never completely go away, the negative self talk, being uncomfortable around people I don't know well, and GOD, please do not put me in situations where I need to make small talk! I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a plastic fork....I have often been told I come across as aloof or a bitch. Alcohol helps...some... You can sit in the corner with this aloof bitch and drink in peace. I won't make you talk to me if you don't want to. As long as you're not offended if I won't talk to you. Deal!
|
|
vonna
Well-Known Member
Joined: Aug 11, 2012 15:58:51 GMT -5
Posts: 1,249
|
Post by vonna on Nov 15, 2013 18:02:32 GMT -5
|
|
happyscooter
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 5, 2011 9:04:06 GMT -5
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by happyscooter on Nov 16, 2013 13:50:57 GMT -5
Sheila, that is DH and me right now. Our friends were always the parents of our kids friends with the exception of 1 or 2 couples. Now that our kids are grown, we find ourselves pretty much BFF-less. And that scares me. That is what happened to MIL/FIL.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 21:25:54 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2013 16:24:08 GMT -5
" Some would say that I fail at being a kind and empathetic human being. To them I say "fuck you!", which probably is a good indication that they are right. " lol! I really did miss this place.
|
|
kilroy
Familiar Member
Joined: Jun 3, 2013 7:29:03 GMT -5
Posts: 754
|
Post by kilroy on Nov 16, 2013 16:35:38 GMT -5
I have been avoiding this thread because I think I might have to drink a whole bottle of wine tonight if I let myself post, but WTH.
I failed when I decided not to go to law school, after being told since I was 10 that I was destined to go to a top tier school and be brilliant and get rich (why do people do this to kids?)
I failed to fix my messed up family, so that the only relative I had a relationship with for the last 15 years was my mom. I miss you, Mommy.
I failed by walking away from the sweet guy I probably should have married and marrying an emotionally abusive alcoholic who is just like my dad (thank goodness I love his kids and his family).
To all the people who say they've "failed" by not having many friends/being introverted - you have not failed! The world has failed by presenting you with narrow, stupid ideas about what you are "supposed" to be like.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 16, 2013 21:37:53 GMT -5
My biggest things with friends is that I seem to have lost my friends and I don't know how or why. I don't think I've been a bad friend. So, I've been trying somewhat unsuccessfully to reach out. It sucks. I've tried reaching out to old friends, tried to become a friend to my new neighbors. I just struggle. It really is a time thing. Working full time and chasing after 2 little kids and having a husband with medical problems...just doesn't seem to leave much of anything. Plus living out in the boonies adds an element of distance to trying to see anyone.
I'm pondering trying to reconnect with a friend who I was in her wedding 5 years ago. She lives in town. But she doesn't have any kids and 2 years ago DH was head of the personnel committee at church that fired her sister-in-law for embezzlement. I'm not sure if my former friend wants anything to do with me any more, but I miss her. DH and I never really connected with her hubby, so once they got married our relationship sort of fell apart.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 16, 2013 21:47:19 GMT -5
|
|
mamasita99
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 5:42:27 GMT -5
Posts: 1,623
|
Post by mamasita99 on Nov 17, 2013 7:43:56 GMT -5
I feel like I am failing with my 14 y.o. dd. She has ADD and takes meds for it but everyday routines are still such a struggle. I still need to stay on her so much with regards to doing things asked, organizing her schoolwork and life, etc. I know that other kids her age are able to take care of this stuff on their own. I'm a special education teacher, you'd think I would be able to effectively manage the needs of my own child I start small business ideas and never get off the ground floor, because I'm afraid of taking the next step, afraid of failing.
|
|
Nazgul Girl
Junior Associate
Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 23:25:02 GMT -5
Posts: 5,913
Today's Mood: excellent
|
Post by Nazgul Girl on Nov 17, 2013 8:03:17 GMT -5
Hardest thing was for me to drop out of my PhD program. I'm now ABD. This is the first time I have not completed something that I started. I ran into a lot of roadblocks while trying to write my thesis that ate up time and I simply ran out of it. My original project I had completed about half of it when I determined that the Medicaid numbers I had received were wrong....really wrong. A lot of it was GIGO and I had done a lot before I realized that the numbers were impossible. Punted on this, but I had a Plan B AND I had the data. Only problem was that the PI that did the research was no longer in our lab and I needed her ok. She took several months to get back to me to get the ok. In the meantime, the university shut down my email address and I lost access to the university resources that I needed (statistic packages, library). It took another month to get that one resolved because that was over the Christmas holidays. So when I finally got all the oks, and was set up I had less than 6 months to do it (and organize a move). I submitted my first 40 pages of the thesis and still had 3 months to complete it, it took my advisor over 8 weeks to get back to me with corrections and comments, so I had to go on the assumption that I was doing ok. The statistician NEVER did get back to me and I needed her imput on what I wanted to do. Had I been on campus, I could have walked over there and met with them but it is a lot easier to ignore a phone call or email than a person. It still stings. I'm really sorry that happened to you, Walk/Penguin/Mich. When a person strives with everything they have, know they have something good they are bringing forth, and get shot down, it's so painful. My husband tried to get through pharmacy school for three years, and just got stymied on all fronts. One professor in particular didn't like him, and used to ridicule him. My DH is a brilliant man, but was never the same after the Pharm.D. experience. However, his life is way better now than it was then, so that's one comfort. And I was the one who urged him to enter the program, so I feel guilty about his suffering.
|
|
Nazgul Girl
Junior Associate
Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 23:25:02 GMT -5
Posts: 5,913
Today's Mood: excellent
|
Post by Nazgul Girl on Nov 17, 2013 8:06:14 GMT -5
Sam, I really admire your grace and strength in how you handled everything this year. I don't see that as a failure. I see an awesome mom who never gave up and tried everything to give that little girl a shot at life. I completely agree !
|
|
Nazgul Girl
Junior Associate
Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 23:25:02 GMT -5
Posts: 5,913
Today's Mood: excellent
|
Post by Nazgul Girl on Nov 17, 2013 8:42:24 GMT -5
There are people from high school and from early on in my career that I meet with who wonder why I'm still doing what I'm doing, and not full of money and accomplishments. And they say so out loud, which is a bit of a blow
You mean llike when you tell your MIL about what you do for a living and she exclaims "You went to college and paid all that money to play with rats?" I felt two inches tall. DH laid into her over that one. Sigh. I hate those damned MIL's who just live for digs at the their DIL's. I had one of those, too, with my first husband. In fact, after I hadn't seen her for over 15 years, we were set up to have lunch with my ex SIL ( the one that got cancer and passed away 2 years ago ) and her dear mother ( my ex-MIL ). My skin has luckily stayed quite smooth even at the age of 60, and hers is kind of leathery, due to years in the AZ sun with no extra care. When she saw me, she pulled up short, gave me a glare, and exclaimed, " Well, isn't *your* skin SMOOTH !! " Uh boy. So, I just looked at her sweetly, and declared, " Why THANK YOU." I really never thought that would be the first words we exchanged in almost 20 years. She got to meet my sweet 2nd husband, too. My second husband's mother had passed away before I met him, so at least I didn't have the MIL bridge to cross.
|
|
kilroy
Familiar Member
Joined: Jun 3, 2013 7:29:03 GMT -5
Posts: 754
|
Post by kilroy on Nov 17, 2013 10:15:45 GMT -5
Sam, I really admire your grace and strength in how you handled everything this year. I don't see that as a failure. I see an awesome mom who never gave up and tried everything to give that little girl a shot at life. I completely agree ! I agree too, and Sam please, please don't feel like you failed Aubree. You did the exact opposite of failing her.
|
|
Nazgul Girl
Junior Associate
Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 23:25:02 GMT -5
Posts: 5,913
Today's Mood: excellent
|
Post by Nazgul Girl on Nov 17, 2013 12:13:45 GMT -5
Do they still do long division the old way? Some of my friends have said they teach it completely differently now. I have no idea how they teach it because my kid adopts his totally clueless act "huh? math? We didn't talk about that AT ALL!" So maybe all the other kids in class have some cool new way to do it and my kid is stuck with the prehistoric way I'm showing him, but I have no way to know this. My theory is that if he wants to reduce the embarrassment of having to do it the fuddy duddy way, he better start listening in class so he doesn't have to rely on mom for his info. Hi Milee, as the proud mother of a long division-challenged daughter, I woud contact your son's teacher asap to see how division is being taught in class so that your efforts can piggy-back the teacher's. Also, I would look into Khan Academy, and see if your son enjoys working on the lessons on their website.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Nov 18, 2013 8:57:38 GMT -5
Did we lose Bonny over the weekend? WTH?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 21:25:54 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2013 8:59:22 GMT -5
I know....
|
|
raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 15,010
|
Post by raeoflyte on Nov 18, 2013 9:37:03 GMT -5
Bonny posted last night that she's taking a break. I hope she comes back soon.
I know others have said this, but I am totally failing at work life balance. :/
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,082
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 18, 2013 9:43:45 GMT -5
I learned I'm a failure at life because I did not stop to consider all the socieconomic consequences of having children. We wanted one so we had one. Now we're considering a second. Coach purses and crab legs here we come! I've failed as a dog owner. I hate owning dogs now that we have a kid. There is just not enough time in the day to do everything. So my dogs are somewhat obnoxious because I don't get around to perfectly training them. I fail at housekeeping. You can totally tell we have a kid and dogs. I don't dare look at the top of my fridge it'd probably make several YM posters faint. I do my best to stay on top of it but I'm pretty sure the house is laughing at my futile attempts to keep it clean.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Nov 18, 2013 9:45:20 GMT -5
Thanks rae. I've been offline since Friday morning and missed that.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Nov 18, 2013 9:46:18 GMT -5
Oooh, a competition we could have - how gross/disgusting is the top of your fridge? Mine's got a lot of sticky dust on it. Plus junk we wanted out of the reach of the kids. And cereal boxes because there's no damn room in the kitchen.
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,883
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 18, 2013 9:47:59 GMT -5
Come on DQ, if you can't see the dirt it doesn't exist. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 21:25:54 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 18, 2013 9:48:06 GMT -5
Mine had that sticky dust too! But I started the deep clean for Thanksgiving so it's gone (for now! ).
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on Nov 18, 2013 10:01:33 GMT -5
Refrigerators have tops?
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Nov 18, 2013 10:02:53 GMT -5
I fail at housekeeping. You can totally tell we have a kid and dogs. I don't dare look at the top of my fridge it'd probably make several YM posters faint. I do my best to stay on top of it but I'm pretty sure the house is laughing at my futile attempts to keep it clean. I'm only a few inches shorter than you and honestly, I've never even looked up there. My theory is that anybody who is tall enough to see it can be my guest and clean it...
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,082
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 18, 2013 10:06:17 GMT -5
I'm only a few inches shorter than you and honestly, I've never even looked up there.
I have to climb to get the cereal so I do see it on occassion, but not enough to really care. I just remember from time to time that thread over here or on MSN when people were freaking out over house cleaning and one of the things mentioneded was they look at the tops of people's fridges.
I thought either these people are really tall or the fridges are really short.
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,883
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 18, 2013 10:10:45 GMT -5
If someone wants to bitch about what's on top of my fridge they are welcome to clean it. Obviously they are taller than me and have more free time. I'm not climbing on a chair or step stool to see the top of the fridge and clean it. My brother would flip out on me since I had knee surgery a few months ago.
I strive for a happy medium between magazine perfect and the health board shutting us down. I figure if I didn't have a full time job and a 2 hour round trip commute, I'd have plenty of time to keep a spotless house and cook everything from scratch.
|
|
Waffle
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 12, 2011 11:31:54 GMT -5
Posts: 4,391
|
Post by Waffle on Nov 18, 2013 10:31:25 GMT -5
Compared to some of the other fails on this thread - this may seem trivial - but it occurred to me that I have failed repeatedly at breaking my addiction to Pepsi. It started when I was 18 and I think the longest I've ever gone without it has been about a month. Someone mentioned failing to become a lawyer - you didn't fail, you just changed your mind. At least that's the way I phrased it when I told my mom that I wasn't going to law school.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Nov 18, 2013 10:35:14 GMT -5
Compared to some of the other fails on this thread - this may seem trivial - but it occurred to me that I have failed repeatedly at breaking my addiction to Pepsi. It started when I was 18 and I think the longest I've ever gone without it has been about a month. My kids did that for me. I eat fairly healthy and never bought soda to have in the house, but regularly used to order diet Coke or Pepsi when we went out. Of course, I don't let my kids drink soda at all and one day they asked why it was OK for me to drink it and not them. Hate those little logical boogers! It was hard for a month or two, but I'm mostly out of the habit now. Down to around 1 a month, mostly at social functions when I don't want an alcoholic drink but don't want water either. So, Waffle, see if your kids can guilt you into the change.
|
|
wvugurl26
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 15:25:30 GMT -5
Posts: 21,883
|
Post by wvugurl26 on Nov 18, 2013 10:40:38 GMT -5
Compared to some of the other fails on this thread - this may seem trivial - but it occurred to me that I have failed repeatedly at breaking my addiction to Pepsi. It started when I was 18 and I think the longest I've ever gone without it has been about a month. My kids did that for me. I eat fairly healthy and never bought soda to have in the house, but regularly used to order diet Coke or Pepsi when we went out. Of course, I don't let my kids drink soda at all and one day they asked why it was OK for me to drink it and not them. Hate those little logical boogers! It was hard for a month or two, but I'm mostly out of the habit now. Down to around 1 a month, mostly at social functions when I don't want an alcoholic drink but don't want water either. So, Waffle, see if your kids can guilt you into the change. Come on milee, the correct answer is do as I say not as I do
|
|
Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
Posts: 20,602
|
Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 18, 2013 10:42:29 GMT -5
Thanks, Sheila. That's sweet. It doesn't help that I've lived in the 4 states in the past 10 years. I'll get a BFF and then move away -- it helps to put down roots and stay consistent. Hopefully I can do that and be more grounded now that I'm where I want to be and I have DD. Also, I'm an introvert (pretending to be an extrovert) so I always have self doubt and replay conversations in my head - was I funny? Or was I insulting? How was my body language? Did they decide not to call me because they forgot or because they hate me? Chances are it was insulting, but that's OK, because I probably would have found it funny. I'm an extrovert and I can tell you, insulting IS funny! I have a sarcastic sense of humor...I've learned people either really like me or they really don't. I'm ok with that. I can't have a stick-up-the-ass friend to worry about offending every conversation we have.
|
|