Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Nov 15, 2013 14:02:13 GMT -5
Jesus H. Christ. I leave for a few months and this is what I come back to? Everyone knows that whenever you take a nose dive off the failboat, you don't bitch, whine, and moan about it. Rather, you say that whatever you failed at is stupid and you didn't want to do it anyways. And if that doesn't work, you find a clown and punch it in it's f%&kin' face.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 15, 2013 14:06:44 GMT -5
BOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's alive!!!!!
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 15, 2013 14:13:48 GMT -5
You could, but I really don't recommend it. Emailing your credit card number unencrypted to some random guy on the internet is a real good way to lose your identity. I won't do that to you guys obviously, but you have no way of knowing that, and no way of knowing who's going to get your credit card number if you float it around like that. Can you set up a paypal option? That seems to be pretty secure. That's what most of the vendors on Etsy and eBay seem to use.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Nov 15, 2013 14:34:15 GMT -5
I'm looking into setting up an Ebay store for a couple months. My Amazon inventory is all there, it just won't show up until the second week of January. Ebay might be a good short term solution until then. Thanks for the suggestion Waffle.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 15, 2013 14:55:33 GMT -5
Sometimes I feel like I failed at being a person people like. I don't have as many friends as I think I should.
When I was a kid a bully told me that "nobody likes you!" and bizarrely I think that has stuck with me my whole life.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 15, 2013 15:05:00 GMT -5
honey- I spent many years with very few to no friends. I always felt like a fraud hanging out on the fringes of a group but never really being part of the group. But I think that when it comes to friends quality outweighs quantity every time. If I helps I like you (or I like your posts anyway so I assume I'd like you in RL)
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,617
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Post by swamp on Nov 15, 2013 15:07:38 GMT -5
Sometimes I feel like I failed at being a person people like. I don't have as many friends as I think I should. When I was a kid a bully told me that "nobody likes you!" and bizarrely I think that has stuck with me my whole life. I like you.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Nov 15, 2013 15:08:23 GMT -5
I failed at having the career I thought I would have. I was an amazing finance student in college. My professors wrote recommendation letters so glowing my father asked me if I was sleeping with one of them. And then I realized that working for a living in corporate america is boring as hell, and I have no desire to do it for 60 or 70 hours a week. So I have a decent job with decent pay, but I am definitely not lighting the world on fire. It disappoints me, but not enough to want to change.
I failed miserably at being a decent daughter.
I am a terrible excuse for a stepmother. I failed at having any maternal desire or skillset.
Some would say that I fail at being a kind and empathetic human being. To them I say "fuck you!", which probably is a good indication that they are right.
I fail at my diet and exercise goals.
I could really keep writing this list for a while, but I might need a prozac and a drink.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 15, 2013 15:09:44 GMT -5
honey- I spent many years with very few to no friends. I always felt like a fraud hanging out on the fringes of a group but never really being part of the group. But I think that when it comes to friends quality outweighs quantity every time. If I helps I like you (or I like your posts anyway so I assume I'd like you in RL) Thanks, Sheila. That's sweet. It doesn't help that I've lived in the 4 states in the past 10 years. I'll get a BFF and then move away -- it helps to put down roots and stay consistent. Hopefully I can do that and be more grounded now that I'm where I want to be and I have DD. Also, I'm an introvert (pretending to be an extrovert) so I always have self doubt and replay conversations in my head - was I funny? Or was I insulting? How was my body language? Did they decide not to call me because they forgot or because they hate me?
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Nov 15, 2013 15:10:20 GMT -5
Sometimes I feel like I failed at being a person people like. I don't have as many friends as I think I should. When I was a kid a bully told me that "nobody likes you!" and bizarrely I think that has stuck with me my whole life. honey, you seem pretty likeable to me!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 15, 2013 15:10:31 GMT -5
Sometimes I feel like I failed at being a person people like. I don't have as many friends as I think I should. When I was a kid a bully told me that "nobody likes you!" and bizarrely I think that has stuck with me my whole life. I like you. Thanks.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Post by swamp on Nov 15, 2013 15:11:26 GMT -5
honey- I spent many years with very few to no friends. I always felt like a fraud hanging out on the fringes of a group but never really being part of the group. But I think that when it comes to friends quality outweighs quantity every time. If I helps I like you (or I like your posts anyway so I assume I'd like you in RL) Thanks, Sheila. That's sweet. It doesn't help that I've lived in the 4 states in the past 10 years. I'll get a BFF and then move away -- it helps to put down roots and stay consistent. Hopefully I can do that and be more grounded now that I'm where I want to be and I have DD. Also, I'm an introvert (pretending to be an extrovert) so I always have self doubt and replay conversations in my head - was I funny? Or was I insulting? How was my body language? Did they decide not to call me because they forgot or because they hate me? Chances are it was insulting, but that's OK, because I probably would have found it funny.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 15, 2013 15:12:01 GMT -5
Some would say that I fail at being a kind and empathetic human being. To them I say "fuck you!", which probably is a good indication that they are right. You many not be a great corporate America financier, but have you considered stand-up?
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Nov 15, 2013 15:13:24 GMT -5
Jesus H. Christ. I leave for a few months and this is what I come back to? Everyone knows that whenever you take a nose dive off the failboat, you don't bitch, whine, and moan about it. Rather, you say that whatever you failed at is stupid and you didn't want to do it anyways. And if that doesn't work, you find a clown and punch it in it's f%&kin' face. I only liked this because I feel it's important to like any post that mentions punching a clown in the f%&king face. We have to get the message out there!
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Nov 15, 2013 15:13:51 GMT -5
Also, I'm an introvert (pretending to be an extrovert) so I always have self doubt and replay conversations in my head - was I funny? Or was I insulting? How was my body language? Did they decide not to call me because they forgot or because they hate me? Are you me? I can soooooooooooooooo relate!!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 15, 2013 15:18:11 GMT -5
You guys are really sweet. Seriously.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 15, 2013 15:22:04 GMT -5
Sometimes I feel like I failed at being a person people like. I don't have as many friends as I think I should. When I was a kid a bully told me that "nobody likes you!" and bizarrely I think that has stuck with me my whole life. honey, you seem pretty likeable to me!
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Nov 15, 2013 15:26:55 GMT -5
Also, I'm an introvert (pretending to be an extrovert) so I always have self doubt and replay conversations in my head - was I funny? Or was I insulting? How was my body language? Did they decide not to call me because they forgot or because they hate me? Are you me? I can soooooooooooooooo relate!! Soooooooooooooo yeah that!
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 15, 2013 15:32:08 GMT -5
Honey- You have no idea how many sleepless nights I've had replaying conversations over in my head and agonizing over whether or not I said the wrong thing. I'm so relived to realize that I am not the only one. Thank you for that.
Regarding Friends- OK- I am a introvert too so it wasn't easy, especially being married to one and raising one. I give DS a speech when he went to HS that seemed to have worked for him. I told him that his HS experience would be directly proportional to the amount of effort that he put into it. I told him to spread his wings, make friends, sign up for clubs, speak up in class, etc. I said the worst thing that will happen is that you have a mediocre time in High School. He is having an awesome high school experience to far. No he is not on the football team or any of that bullshit. He is just himself every day and he is happy with that.
About a year or so ago DH and I decided we were sick of being introverts and really put ourselves out there. He joined a gaming league at a new store in town and I reconnected with an old friend from High School. It was very hard initially. But what I found with talking to new people and welcoming them into my circle was that they were struggling to find friends too. Odds are that half the ladies you encounter are wishing they had more friends or a more active social life too. It's honestly been what I have found.
With those two steps we went from having one other couple we were friends with to having probably a dozen new friends - good friends too. People that come over for board game night, people I get together once a month and make crafts with, other moms that get together for dinner once a month, a totally dorky Pathfinder group that comes to my house (for DH) once a month and spends all day sitting in my dining room laughing. We are even hosting a big Christmas Party for our friends this year. That's a first for us. It's been very rewarding. There are still nights I silently wish someone's kid would run a fever so they will cancel plans but once I go I'm always happy that I did.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 15, 2013 15:40:22 GMT -5
That's awesome, S! Even though H and I are both introverted I think my DD is an extrovert. At least, as much as one can be when you're 2 years old. She never had stranger danger and has no problem running up to other kids, etc. But I'm sure that can change a lot with time.
I'm not shy, and I have no problem talking to people... I have my hockey team, so I get out there a bit. It's just hard to make BFFs because it seems like most people already have them. Especially around here, it seems like people have known each other since high school!
I remember one time I took some quiz online with my husband, I can't remember if was a 'spectrum' test or a nerd test... but what of the questions was: Do you ever wonder what to do with your arms? 1- never, 5 -always. I was like OMGWTFBBQ! Yes! I worry about this all time!
H looked at me like I had 3 heads, "What do you mean you don't know what to do with your arms??"
I explained how it can be so hard in a conversation to mimic the person you are talking with without 'aping' them or without looking hostile, etc.
He said he thought I was insane.... of course I pointed out he was WAY more on the spectrum to me and therefore didn't realize that he could influence other people by the placement of his arms LOL.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 15, 2013 15:50:43 GMT -5
I have this very annoying (or at least DH claims it's annoying) habit of following a conversation too closely. After a few minutes I will start to anticipate what people will say and start mouthing it along with them and get to where I am mouthing it faster than they are. Mostly people don't notice but it drives DH crazy when I do that to him. Oops.
Honey- Does DD go to daycare? As the kids get older it's easier to start making friends with the parents of DD's friends. That's where half of my friends come from these days. parents of DS' friends, parents from his clubs and activities, etc.
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kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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Post by kittensaver on Nov 15, 2013 15:54:51 GMT -5
I have pretty much failed at keeping a severely disabled family member safe . He is the only child (now an adult) of my aunt & uncle who left their estate in a Special Needs Trust for him (I administer it). He has severe schizoaffective disorder and for a number of years I bribed him financially to keep him attached to treatment (he got a small weekly Trust allowance that he could only collect from his case management team). As severely mentally disordered folks often do, after a period of relative stability he "got tired of the BS," and "tired of being a slave to The Man," went off his meds and started running the streets again. He also got involved in cooking meth with some shady folks who have alternately welcomed him and beat him up. For the last year and a half he has been actively cycling among jail, the streets and the hospital. I've tried twice to get conservatorship of him so I can put him back in a long-term psych hospital placement (petitions were made when he came up in Mental Health Court for civil infractions) but the judge wouldn't bite - he manages to pull himself together and sound semi-coherent just long enough to face the judge, plus the Mental Health Court advocates are really big on "community treatment as an alternative to restrictive hospitalization." HEY - so am I ! ! ! I work in one of those community treatment centers, for God's sake ! ! ! , but he is a danger to himself and is costing the system A LOT of money. He is out there somewhere (I don't know exactly where right now, because he's lost all three of the cell phones the Trust bought him) and I live with the sinking feeling that he's not going to live to be an old man. My heart hurts for him and for that part of my family, but there is really nothing more I can do . Rant over
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Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 15, 2013 16:00:38 GMT -5
LOL!! Reading how hard everybody is on themselves makes me so glad I set my bar really low. I just wanted to be free from controlling parents to do what I wanted to do and be financially stable and happy. I also get what Oped said. I don't feel comfortable discussing my successes because most of them were just pure luck and some were just good choices FOR ME that may not work for others. I've flown from the seat of my pants most of my life and received 2 inheritances and had 2 great husbands. Pure luck. Yeah, some may say I chose those husbands but even that I can't take credit for as they did most of the work there too. I never intended on getting married. So the only things I did that I can take credit for was do the best to my ability in whatever I did, took my birth control (nothing personal - I'm sure all of you have lovely kids but just not for me) and was always financially responsible (but not over the top). My middle name has always been moderation and enough and my goal was to be true to myself. I have far more than I ever dreamed I'd have and have the life I've always wanted and can't take very much credit for any of it. I guess my big failure is not having any major goals in life and being lazy. So I will wish for those of you that are so hard on yourselves to try to be more true to yourselves. Do what you really want to do and not what you think you should be doing or that other's expectations make you feel you should be doing.
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Nov 15, 2013 17:00:02 GMT -5
I've failed to light the world on fire with my career.
I've failed at developing "interests" that would help me develop friends.
I fail at taking chances. Ridiculous fear of failure, so I don't start things.
I'm pretty sure I'm not a very good wife.
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Cookies Galore
Senior Associate
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock
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Post by Cookies Galore on Nov 15, 2013 17:18:02 GMT -5
I failed at knowing we were out of dry vermouth. Only have sweet vermouth. I just failed Friday cocktails.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 15, 2013 17:19:46 GMT -5
I failed at knowing we were out of dry vermouth. Only have sweet vermouth. I just failed Friday cocktails. Don't tell Tina or MM! Or Wino either! They'll take your pink jacket or something!
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constanz22
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Post by constanz22 on Nov 15, 2013 17:22:29 GMT -5
honey- I spent many years with very few to no friends. I always felt like a fraud hanging out on the fringes of a group but never really being part of the group. But I think that when it comes to friends quality outweighs quantity every time. If I helps I like you (or I like your posts anyway so I assume I'd like you in RL) Thanks, Sheila. That's sweet. It doesn't help that I've lived in the 4 states in the past 10 years. I'll get a BFF and then move away -- it helps to put down roots and stay consistent. Hopefully I can do that and be more grounded now that I'm where I want to be and I have DD. Also, I'm an introvert (pretending to be an extrovert) so I always have self doubt and replay conversations in my head - was I funny? Or was I insulting? How was my body language? Did they decide not to call me because they forgot or because they hate me? OMG, that SO sounds like me....I think it gets a little better as I age, but I know it will never completely go away, the negative self talk, being uncomfortable around people I don't know well, and GOD, please do not put me in situations where I need to make small talk! I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a plastic fork....I have often been told I come across as aloof or a bitch. Alcohol helps...some...
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 15, 2013 17:24:41 GMT -5
Thanks, Sheila. That's sweet. It doesn't help that I've lived in the 4 states in the past 10 years. I'll get a BFF and then move away -- it helps to put down roots and stay consistent. Hopefully I can do that and be more grounded now that I'm where I want to be and I have DD. Also, I'm an introvert (pretending to be an extrovert) so I always have self doubt and replay conversations in my head - was I funny? Or was I insulting? How was my body language? Did they decide not to call me because they forgot or because they hate me? OMG, that SO sounds like me....I think it gets a little better as I age, but I know it will never completely go away, the negative self talk, being uncomfortable around people I don't know well, and GOD, please do not put me in situations where I need to make small talk! I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a plastic fork....I have often been told I come across as aloof or a bitch. Alcohol helps...some... You can sit in the corner with this aloof bitch and drink in peace. I won't make you talk to me if you don't want to. As long as you're not offended if I won't talk to you.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 21:38:54 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2013 17:40:12 GMT -5
OMG. I just posted something on facebook about finally outgrowing having to replay every conversation, especially group conversations, in my head.
You all can PM me to facebook friend if you aren't already. I know its not IRL, but , well, if it works...
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Nov 15, 2013 17:56:46 GMT -5
In high school, I got B's and C's never really thought I was college material. Went to trade school to become a travel agent. Thanks to the internet that became a dead end.
So, I ended up at a plant that makes air bag initiators, worked there for 7 years and left because I was getting bored.
Decide to go to school for phlebotomy quit three weeks into the class. I was afraid I would hurt people. Really wish I had more confidence in myself at that time and followed through.
I've been a receptionist at my current job for 11 years. They treat me real well here, but I feel like a failure because I only make $17K to 20K a year. I made way more to look under a microscope at the plant in my 20's.
So yeah, I feel like a failure because I don't have a career that pays more.
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