Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Sept 30, 2013 18:37:27 GMT -5
If others get totally lit and act an ass that's a good lesson too.
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 30, 2013 18:53:52 GMT -5
If others get totally lit and act an ass that's a good lesson too. One of my best friends has a huge annual wine tasting party that runs into the wee hours and features dozens of adults totally blotto. In the past, her husband did the pouring, but the party has grown to a size where her husband can't really keep up and it was slowing everything down. She talked about hiring help and I offered my 13 year old as a pourer - free of charge. She was a little horrified and asked if I'd want him seeing adults acting like that. I was honest and told her that I thought the party would provide us with several really great discussion points - like how to drink moderately in a crowd, what crazy things happen if you don't moderate your alcohol, and how stupid otherwise smart people look when they're silly drunk. Not sure she was amused.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 30, 2013 18:54:01 GMT -5
If others get totally lit and act an ass that's a good lesson too. Its even better if they throw up.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 30, 2013 18:55:18 GMT -5
One of my best friends has a huge annual wine tasting party that runs into the wee hours and features dozens of adults totally blotto. In the past, her husband did the pouring, but the party has grown to a size where her husband can't really keep up and it was slowing everything down. She talked about hiring help and I offered my 13 year old as a pourer - free of charge. She was a little horrified and asked if I'd want him seeing adults acting like that. I was honest and told her that I thought the party would provide us with several really great discussion points - like how to drink moderately in a crowd, what crazy things happen if you don't moderate your alcohol, and how stupid otherwise smart people look when they're silly drunk. Not sure she was amused. Wait until he's 16 and offer him as a DD. I love my friends' teenage children.
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 30, 2013 19:04:51 GMT -5
One of my best friends has a huge annual wine tasting party that runs into the wee hours and features dozens of adults totally blotto. In the past, her husband did the pouring, but the party has grown to a size where her husband can't really keep up and it was slowing everything down. She talked about hiring help and I offered my 13 year old as a pourer - free of charge. She was a little horrified and asked if I'd want him seeing adults acting like that. I was honest and told her that I thought the party would provide us with several really great discussion points - like how to drink moderately in a crowd, what crazy things happen if you don't moderate your alcohol, and how stupid otherwise smart people look when they're silly drunk. Not sure she was amused. Wait until he's 16 and offer him as a DD. I love my friends' teenage children. Yep, there was a little self-interest there. We usually boat to this party and DS actually could be our designated driver/boater. He got his boating license when he was 8 (youngest person to pass the test) and we've been letting him take out the small powerboat by himself for the last few years. So it would be a twofer... he'd get a lesson on how stupid drunk people act and we'd get a DD. Winner!
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justme
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Post by justme on Sept 30, 2013 19:21:06 GMT -5
But the bride and groom DO currently know their neighbor and DO know their cousins. They don't know "and guest". I can't speak for your family, but there are some "and guest" options that my dear friends might bring to my wedding whose company I would vastly prefer to some of my own family. I think that's the point that many posters are trying to make. Well that's making the assumption that people would invite someone they don't like to their wedding. I'm going on the assumption that everyone you invite to your wedding is someone you want there.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 30, 2013 19:37:44 GMT -5
Geez, I wouldn't. I can't tell you how many a-holes came to mine, both friends and family. Not MY doing but you had to please the "other side."
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Sept 30, 2013 19:38:56 GMT -5
I can't speak for your family, but there are some "and guest" options that my dear friends might bring to my wedding whose company I would vastly prefer to some of my own family. I think that's the point that many posters are trying to make. Well that's making the assumption that people would invite someone they don't like to their wedding. I'm going on the assumption that everyone you invite to your wedding is someone you want there.
Not necessarily. I didn't want my in-laws there but whatcha gonna do
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Sept 30, 2013 19:45:46 GMT -5
I can't speak for your family, but there are some "and guest" options that my dear friends might bring to my wedding whose company I would vastly prefer to some of my own family. I think that's the point that many posters are trying to make. Well that's making the assumption that people would invite someone they don't like to their wedding. I'm going on the assumption that everyone you invite to your wedding is someone you want there. sadly, not always the case. my sister's wedding last summer, my parents laid down the guilt trip on my sis about leaving out certain portions of the family. it might have worked on me at that point, but my sis hated that patriarch way more than I thought. after realizing the same BS was coming down on my BIL's side, my sis and BIL agreed to limit the invites to immediate party and spouses/SOs, plus the friends that would have been in the bridal party if it had been a "regular-sized" wedding. the entire wedding was about 60 people. there was a BBQ the weekend after, where invites were sent to everyone in the parents' address books. go figure that those relatives that didn't make the short list weren't interested in driving an hour and a half out to western MA for a party. as I said, I can't speak for your family. mine isn't even close to functional.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Sept 30, 2013 19:52:24 GMT -5
Geez, I wouldn't. I can't tell you how many a-holes came to mine, both friends and family. Not MY doing but you had to please the "other side." the other side? shit, my mother laid down a guilt trip on my sis about her older brother, that I might have caved on at that point. since then, my mother chose to die on the hill of going to that uncle's oldest daughter's wedding last winter. my sis and I would have happily been pretty much anywhere else on earth.....but we went. and I've spent the year being a lot more obnoxiously blatant about expressing my complete disinterest about anything mom has to relay about this family when I talk to her. you might be surprised to know that even SHE doesn't like this brother. can't quite figure out where the need to attend family functions comes from..... just yesterday I was informed that my aunt's birthday gift last weekend was a pink teddy bear - that cousin is due in March with a girl. my mom just couldn't wrap her brain around my reaction that I really don't think about whether my cousin's going to be a SAHM/hire a nanny/work part-time, I really and truly do not give a shit.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2013 19:54:30 GMT -5
Define this 'functional' ....
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2013 0:18:48 GMT -5
I can't speak for your family, but there are some "and guest" options that my dear friends might bring to my wedding whose company I would vastly prefer to some of my own family. I think that's the point that many posters are trying to make. Well that's making the assumption that people would invite someone they don't like to their wedding. I'm going on the assumption that everyone you invite to your wedding is someone you want there. Nope, not always the case at all. My mother invited every single one of her inbred relatives to my wedding (yes, I know that technically they are my relatives too, but I do not claim them). That might sound harsh, but you would have to meet them to understand. Two of the people she invited are pedophiles. Several of them are drug addicts with no teeth. Most of the relatives she invited I had not seen since I was a little kid. I swear my wedding turned into an episode of Honey Boo Boo. It wasn't what I wanted at all. I wanted a nice, elegant wedding. My mother totally took over and sent invitations to people I did not want there. I finally gave up and told her to just tell me what time to show up and where.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 1, 2013 0:41:20 GMT -5
Well that's making the assumption that people would invite someone they don't like to their wedding. I'm going on the assumption that everyone you invite to your wedding is someone you want there. Nope, not always the case at all. My mother invited every single one of her inbred relatives to my wedding (yes, I know that technically they are my relatives too, but I do not claim them). That might sound harsh, but you would have to meet them to understand. Two of the people she invited are pedophiles. Several of them are drug addicts with no teeth. Most of the relatives she invited I had not seen since I was a little kid. I swear my wedding turned into an episode of Honey Boo Boo. It wasn't what I wanted at all. I wanted a nice, elegant wedding. My mother totally took over and sent invitations to people I did not want there. I finally gave up and told her to just tell me what time to show up and where. LMAO, Angel!!! I'm sorry that happened on your special day but you crack me up!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2013 2:22:58 GMT -5
I keep telling Goose he needs to remarry me so we can have OUR dream wedding, not a FUBAR wedding with the Clampetts and Honey Boo Boo. He said he would as long as I don't invite my mom and her crazy relatives. I am thinking about having a small ceremony here in Italy to renew our vows.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Oct 1, 2013 5:51:05 GMT -5
I keep telling Goose he needs to remarry me so we can have OUR dream wedding, not a FUBAR wedding with the Clampetts and Honey Boo Boo. He said he would as long as I don't invite my mom and her crazy relatives. I am thinking about having a small ceremony here in Italy to renew our vows. Renewing your vows in Italy sounds fabulous!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2013 6:28:53 GMT -5
I keep telling Goose he needs to remarry me so we can have OUR dream wedding, not a FUBAR wedding with the Clampetts and Honey Boo Boo. He said he would as long as I don't invite my mom and her crazy relatives. I am thinking about having a small ceremony here in Italy to renew our vows. Renewing your vows in Italy sounds fabulous! I totally agree!
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Oct 1, 2013 6:32:34 GMT -5
Renewing your vows in Italy sounds fabulous! I totally agree! DO IT!!!!!!!!!! We really lucked out with our wedding. I want a do-over just so I can party some more! It seriously flew by way too quick.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2013 6:35:55 GMT -5
Not sure what NNP believes, but I've always been a bit annoyed that women have to reveal their marital status by their title and men never do. I didn't know if you don't change your name that your preferred address remains the same married or divorced. I use Ms. when forced to choose a title, but had no idea Mrs. was a title a woman essentially keeps for life once she marries. Thank you Opti. I couldn't have said it better!!! I guess I am old school and think of MRS. as a married woman which I am not. Maybe the correct salutation should be Divorced NNP My EX is on his third divorce, so I hear, so maybe he should be addressed as Divorced3 (insert name) I don't get invites from 8th cousins 10 times removed so everyone who knows me, loves me and wishes me nothing by flowers and rainbows knows to address me as Ms on invites. Hell, I would be happy with just NNP on the invite and forget the other stuff. I have also wondered why on some apps they ask for "status" Does being married get you a better interest rate than divorced, single? I do know on my IRA I had to mark divorced, I guess so they would know I wasn't cheating a husband out of being the beneficiary Thanks for the insight. It never occurred to me that people might be offended by the title. I always just think of it being what it is. And since I would only use it in formal invites (and I'm already married, so how many times am I going to send out formal invites?), I guess it's not really something I think about on a day to day basis. I'll be more careful in the future.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 1, 2013 6:39:55 GMT -5
Well that's making the assumption that people would invite someone they don't like to their wedding. I'm going on the assumption that everyone you invite to your wedding is someone you want there. Nope, not always the case at all. My mother invited every single one of her inbred relatives to my wedding (yes, I know that technically they are my relatives too, but I do not claim them). That might sound harsh, but you would have to meet them to understand. Two of the people she invited are pedophiles. Several of them are drug addicts with no teeth. Most of the relatives she invited I had not seen since I was a little kid. I swear my wedding turned into an episode of Honey Boo Boo. It wasn't what I wanted at all. I wanted a nice, elegant wedding. My mother totally took over and sent invitations to people I did not want there. I finally gave up and told her to just tell me what time to show up and where. OMG, I am cracking up at the visual. I'm sorry, I know it wasn't funny to you but the way you are telling it is cracking me up! And there is no way I would have caved on my wedding. Did she pay for the wedding? If a parent pays you are screwed because they run the show...but, if you and your dh paid I wouldn't have allowed her to take over like that. At the end of the day, I would have eloped before I let someone ruin my wedding.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 1, 2013 7:29:38 GMT -5
I let my mom and my future MIL take over because my mom never got a wedding and future MIL was never going to be a mother of the bride. There was nothing and no one except my MOH that made me happy that day. I kind of liked my dress.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 1, 2013 7:31:25 GMT -5
Ima, so do this! Beautiful Italy and your lovely family present and friends that you love. What's not to like?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 1, 2013 8:12:17 GMT -5
I swear my wedding turned into an episode of Honey Boo Boo.
I would have paid to see that. This thread mines me why I hate weddings, both planning and attending them.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Oct 1, 2013 8:47:20 GMT -5
Have a do over in Italy Angel! You've talked about it many times so do Version #2 the way you want.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2013 9:29:12 GMT -5
I don't see the big deal about inviting friends with a +1 for dates. It is not like somebody (at least in most cases) would bring a casual date to a wedding! At least for me, if somebody sent out an invite to me with a +1, I would only bring a guy that I have been dating for sometime and have more interest than just casually dating. And hopefully if a friend is inviting me to their wedding, we have enough communication for them to know that I am with someone and their status in my life.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Oct 1, 2013 9:57:38 GMT -5
Sept 30, 2013 18:52:13 GMT -4 kittensaver said:Sept 30, 2013 18:45:48 GMT -4 oped said: Dollar dance, shot dance, chicken dance... Macarena, Hora, Time Warp (!!), Conga Line, Limbo Line, YMCA . . . .
Aw, we did the hora and the chair dance at mine. I wasn't a fan of the idea, but mom insisted. Looking back, I'm glad I did it for her.
We had only one odd occurrence at our wedding. A couple I invited (she was a friend of mine) filed for divorce from her husband between the time the invites went out and the day of the wedding. So she brought her new boyfriend instead. He showed up to our very elegant wedding in jeans and a cowboy shirt. She wore a a disco ball-silver shirt and the shortest skirt ever made. I mean, she did have the figure for it, but how on earth she could do anything like sit or bend over in it was beyond me. They put on quite the show. I was not happy about it at the time, but almost a quarter-century later, it's good for a laugh.
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Oct 1, 2013 11:09:48 GMT -5
I don't see the big deal about inviting friends with a +1 for dates. It is not like somebody (at least in most cases) would bring a casual date to a wedding! At least for me, if somebody sent out an invite to me with a +1, I would only bring a guy that I have been dating for sometime and have more interest than just casually dating. And hopefully if a friend is inviting me to their wedding, we have enough communication for them to know that I am with someone and their status in my life. You would be invited as a couple. Friends of ours decided to divorce (or at least made the official announcement) after our invitations went to the calligrapher. Not a big deal, we let them decide what they wanted to do. The one went to my shower (she must have drawn the short straw!) and the other came to the wedding. He did not bring a replacement guest, as they were invited by name and not generic "and guest."
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Oct 1, 2013 12:11:21 GMT -5
There is absolutely no way in hell I'd drag my 1,3 and 5 year old to a wedding, especially one out of town. Kids were welcome at my wedding. I had given up on the idea of having any control of that event about a week into wedding planning, and there wasn't any obvious danger there. Agreed. I just don't "get" parents who get offended and pissy about not being able to bring (drag) their young children to an evening event that is clearly structured as an adult party - when their kids are supposed to be in bed. Can't find or hire a babysitter? Stay home. And when your kids get married, it's your option to plan a "child-friendly" wedding . . . just don't go off imposing your desires on others planning their parties. You're the guest, not the host. Well, it really depends on your kids. Not all kids go to be early, and some kids are easier to supervise than others. With our first, he could go anywhere with us pretty much anytime and not be much trouble. But our second child has a very different temperment, and we had to curtail our activities once he got past that delightfully portable baby stage.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Oct 1, 2013 12:20:27 GMT -5
My wedding was a formal night wedding. There were kids there, a baby, a 2 year old with Downs, a couple of preschool aged kids and a few tweens. None of them caused any trouble.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Oct 1, 2013 12:25:14 GMT -5
I guess I've never been to a "formal" wedding, they've all had kids present. My MIL just went to one at a vineyard that cost major $$$$$, I can see a fear of having kids spill/damage stuff when shelling out that kind of money.
I bought lidded cups with inserts you could color to design your own cup from Oriental Trading Co and packs of washable crayons for the 8-10 kids we had. It was really simple and didn't cost a lot.
I had parents thanking me because it kept the kids occupied at the table AND no spills! I was surprised at how big of a hit they were.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Oct 1, 2013 13:56:51 GMT -5
I don't see the big deal about inviting friends with a +1 for dates. It is not like somebody (at least in most cases) would bring a casual date to a wedding! At least for me, if somebody sent out an invite to me with a +1, I would only bring a guy that I have been dating for sometime and have more interest than just casually dating. And hopefully if a friend is inviting me to their wedding, we have enough communication for them to know that I am with someone and their status in my life. And that is great for you. I'm in the other camp where I would want to bring someone with me to a wedding. as I've said throughout the thread, I would just send my regrets...and save a lot of money!lol
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