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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2013 11:13:26 GMT -5
Jul 18, 2013 11:20:38 GMT -4 zibazinski said: I have to admit, she felt shamed and angry at me about going to WW. I insisted on it but she was very happy losing the 35 pounds and being able to wear the cute clothes that others wore.
The stepmother who made me do something like this led me into a series of eating issues that took a decade to unravel so that I could have a normal relationship with food.
Zib. I'm really surprised your daipughter has any kind of relationship with you. The animosity that shines though every time you mention her sounds toxic to me...
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Jul 18, 2013 11:18:09 GMT -5
Jul 18, 2013 11:20:38 GMT -4 zibazinski said: I have to admit, she felt shamed and angry at me about going to WW. I insisted on it but she was very happy losing the 35 pounds and being able to wear the cute clothes that others wore. The stepmother who made me do something like this led me into a series of eating issues that took a decade to unravel so that I could have a normal relationship with food. Zib. I'm really surprised your daipughter has any kind of relationship with you. The animosity that Hines though every time you mention her sounds toxic to me... Yes, I feel very sorry for her daughter.
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imawino
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Post by imawino on Jul 18, 2013 11:20:30 GMT -5
Jul 18, 2013 11:20:38 GMT -4 zibazinski said: I have to admit, she felt shamed and angry at me about going to WW. I insisted on it but she was very happy losing the 35 pounds and being able to wear the cute clothes that others wore. The stepmother who made me do something like this led me into a series of eating issues that took a decade to unravel so that I could have a normal relationship with food. Zib. I'm really surprised your daipughter has any kind of relationship with you. The animosity that Hines though every time you mention her sounds toxic to me... Yes, I feel very sorry for her daughter. And mother. And fiance's daughter. Zib, are there any women that you do not actively dislike?
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 18, 2013 11:25:30 GMT -5
Jul 18, 2013 11:20:38 GMT -4 zibazinski said: I have to admit, she felt shamed and angry at me about going to WW. I insisted on it but she was very happy losing the 35 pounds and being able to wear the cute clothes that others wore. The stepmother who made me do something like this led me into a series of eating issues that took a decade to unravel so that I could have a normal relationship with food. Zib. I'm really surprised your daipughter has any kind of relationship with you. The animosity that shines though every time you mention her sounds toxic to me... What was she supposed to do? A 5'2 girls who is 35 lbs over weight is probably over 160 lbs. Should she have waited until she topped 200? There really is no easy answer. If she had not said anything and let her keep gaining weight she would have been wrong for not stepping up as a parent and making their kid lose weight so she would be healthier. As a parent I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2013 11:28:22 GMT -5
I don't think a 12 year old should be forced to join WW.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 18, 2013 11:30:32 GMT -5
She cried and didn't want to go to cheering today. I told her there are no quitters in our house and she has to go. Hell. I'm sorry Swamp.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 18, 2013 11:32:47 GMT -5
and then I got a text from the babysitter saying that DD's hip hurt and she didn't want to go. I told her to go anyway, that's the first I heard of the hip hurting.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 18, 2013 11:34:10 GMT -5
If she is 12 years old and overweight...wouldn't that be the parents fault in the first place? I've only read the most recent posts, but all the fat kids I know have fat parents. I think the McDonalds for every dinner and inactive lifestyle has something to do with it... Not always..................
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2013 11:35:12 GMT -5
DD was fat and DS was skinny. Real fun there. I'm trying to fatten him up so he doesn't look like a refugee and trying to have healthy food for her to eat. She was going into middle school and I told her if you think the girls were mean in elementary, you ain't seen nothing yet. Between that and Weight Watchers, she got down to a reasonable weight. She is never going to be skinny but she looks fine and healthy. She is very active but still has to watch her weight and probably always will. Unfortunately, she takes after her fathers sided the family and they are a hefty crowd. I am only going on this post -- someone going into 7th grade is 12 years old. And I don't think a 12 year old should be forced to join.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 18, 2013 11:36:59 GMT -5
That just breaks my heart. But I am going to get on my soap box again - isn't this even more reason to teach our kids that they shouldn't worry/pay attention to stupid things people say ? That's easy to say that if you don't have extremely sensitive kids. It's not easy for me to say, and I do have a very sensitive kid, but what's the alternative? You can't go through life crying every time someone said something mean to you or about you. May be my approach is wrong with him, I don't know - but I do try to send a constant message - don't pay attention to what people say, it won't get you anywhere. And while I, myself, have no problem being mean back, I am not teaching him any comebacks just yet, bc at 5, I don't know if can distinguish between friendly banter and an asshole.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 18, 2013 11:37:19 GMT -5
If she is 12 years old and overweight...wouldn't that be the parents fault in the first place? I've only read the most recent posts, but all the fat kids I know have fat parents. I think the McDonalds for every dinner and inactive lifestyle has something to do with it... I have two kids. One is over weight and one is under weight. In fact while trying to "clean up the house" for the over weight kid and leave only low calorie, healthy option to eat in the house the under weight kid lost 9 lbs. The Dr's tell me the exact opposite for them as far as food. And DH and I were always skinny although middle age has fattened us up some, but not to the point of being obese. I cant remember the last time my kids had fast food.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 18, 2013 11:38:40 GMT -5
Aw, double hell Swamp. I got nothing for you or her.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 18, 2013 11:38:55 GMT -5
DD was fat and DS was skinny. Real fun there. I'm trying to fatten him up so he doesn't look like a refugee and trying to have healthy food for her to eat. She was going into middle school and I told her if you think the girls were mean in elementary, you ain't seen nothing yet. Between that and Weight Watchers, she got down to a reasonable weight. She is never going to be skinny but she looks fine and healthy. She is very active but still has to watch her weight and probably always will. Unfortunately, she takes after her fathers sided the family and they are a hefty crowd. I am only going on this post -- someone going into 7th grade is 12 years old. And I don't think a 12 year old should be forced to join. I didn't think kids could join weight watchers?
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 18, 2013 11:39:32 GMT -5
DD was fat and DS was skinny. Real fun there. I'm trying to fatten him up so he doesn't look like a refugee and trying to have healthy food for her to eat. She was going into middle school and I told her if you think the girls were mean in elementary, you ain't seen nothing yet. Between that and Weight Watchers, she got down to a reasonable weight. She is never going to be skinny but she looks fine and healthy. She is very active but still has to watch her weight and probably always will. Unfortunately, she takes after her fathers sided the family and they are a hefty crowd. I am only going on this post -- someone going into 7th grade is 12 years old. And I don't think a 12 year old should be forced to join. So what would you do if your 12 year old was 35 lbs overweight?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2013 11:39:35 GMT -5
I have to admit, she felt shamed and angry at me about going to WW. I insisted on it but she was very happy losing the 35 pounds and being able to wear the cute clothes that others wore. After all, it's the results that matter. Who cares how she feels? As long as she can wear cute clothes and not embarrass you with her disgusting fat, it's all good. "Fernando, don't be a schnook! It's not how you feel, it's how you look! And you look marvelous!" - Billy Crystal, a long time ago on SNL. "It's better to look good than to feel good" part of the same skit
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 18, 2013 11:40:36 GMT -5
If she is 12 years old and overweight...wouldn't that be the parents fault in the first place? I've only read the most recent posts, but all the fat kids I know have fat parents. I think the McDonalds for every dinner and inactive lifestyle has something to do with it... I have two kids. One is over weight and one is under weight. In fact while trying to "clean up the house" for the over weight kid and leave only low calorie, healthy option to eat in the house the under weight kid lost 9 lbs. The Dr's tell me the exact opposite for them as far as food. And DH and I were always skinny although middle age has fattened us up some, but not to the point of being obese. I cant remember the last time my kids had fast food. Yeah, it's really hard to urge one kid to eat while telling the other she has had enough. DD doesn't seem to have an "I'm full button." We're working on that. As well as eating slower and enjoying the food.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 18, 2013 11:41:07 GMT -5
I am only going on this post -- someone going into 7th grade is 12 years old. And I don't think a 12 year old should be forced to join. So what would you do if your 12 year old was 35 lbs overweight? I dunno.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2013 11:42:50 GMT -5
I am only going on this post -- someone going into 7th grade is 12 years old. And I don't think a 12 year old should be forced to join. So what would you do if your 12 year old was 35 lbs overweight? I don't know. My kids are both exactly at the 50th percentile. We are abnormally normal yet again.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 18, 2013 11:44:37 GMT -5
I didn't think kids could join weight watchers? I agree, about a 12 year old being forced to join weight watchers. Her diet should be somewhat controlled by the kind of food she's getting in the house anyway...the better solution is to prepare healthier meals at home. Here's my problem. I generally cook healthy meals. DS will eat a half serving and DD will want seconds and thirds. Grilled chicken is fattening if you have too much of it. She's missing the "full" cue.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Jul 18, 2013 11:45:49 GMT -5
Jul 18, 2013 11:20:38 GMT -4 zibazinski said: I have to admit, she felt shamed and angry at me about going to WW. I insisted on it but she was very happy losing the 35 pounds and being able to wear the cute clothes that others wore. The stepmother who made me do something like this led me into a series of eating issues that took a decade to unravel so that I could have a normal relationship with food. Zib. I'm really surprised your daipughter has any kind of relationship with you. The animosity that shines though every time you mention her sounds toxic to me... What was she supposed to do? A 5'2 girls who is 35 lbs over weight is probably over 160 lbs. Should she have waited until she topped 200? There really is no easy answer. If she had not said anything and let her keep gaining weight she would have been wrong for not stepping up as a parent and making their kid lose weight so she would be healthier. As a parent I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. I was kinda thinking the same thing. And it's not like the WW crowd are known for being catty bitches or fostering unhealthy attitudes towards food. 12 would be a little young IMHO, unless the meetings were geared towards that age group, but it isn't completely clear what age Zib's daughter was when she started taking her.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 18, 2013 11:48:06 GMT -5
When my oldest - who is the opposite of fat - wants too much food, I tell him that "may be we should let your stomach rest a bit".
That's all I've got, bc so far I've noticed that my kids stop eating when they are full, so they are self-regulating.
If they weren't I probably WOULD talk to our pediatrician how to "change" that, bc that would make me concern
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 18, 2013 11:49:20 GMT -5
She's missing the "full" cue
DH seems to be missing it too. I can cook healthy foods but the calories still add up if he's eating what's left on my plate, Gwen's plate and any leftovers I haven't had the chance to desginate as being for dinner tomorrow. I've found sometimes cooking less helps, if there is nothing left for seconds he can't have them. Though as an adult he's perfectly capable of scrounging something else, which he often does. Might work for a five year old.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 18, 2013 11:50:59 GMT -5
Jul 18, 2013 11:20:38 GMT -4 zibazinski said: I have to admit, she felt shamed and angry at me about going to WW. I insisted on it but she was very happy losing the 35 pounds and being able to wear the cute clothes that others wore. The stepmother who made me do something like this led me into a series of eating issues that took a decade to unravel so that I could have a normal relationship with food. Zib. I'm really surprised your daipughter has any kind of relationship with you. The animosity that shines though every time you mention her sounds toxic to me... What was she supposed to do? A 5'2 girls who is 35 lbs over weight is probably over 160 lbs. Should she have waited until she topped 200? There really is no easy answer. If she had not said anything and let her keep gaining weight she would have been wrong for not stepping up as a parent and making their kid lose weight so she would be healthier. As a parent I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. Shaming a child and making them feel embarrassed and broken is one end of the spectrum. Doing nothing while a child eats themselves to death is the other end of the spectrum. There are many, many options that lie in the middle. Parenting isn't easy and it's incredibly difficult to navigate certain issues. This is one of them. But your only two options aren't the two at either end of the extreme spectrum.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Jul 18, 2013 11:51:10 GMT -5
I agree, about a 12 year old being forced to join weight watchers. Her diet should be somewhat controlled by the kind of food she's getting in the house anyway...the better solution is to prepare healthier meals at home. Here's my problem. I generally cook healthy meals. DS will eat a half serving and DD will want seconds and thirds. Grilled chicken is fattening if you have too much of it. She's missing the "full" cue. Does she eat fast? One of the tricks they teach in Weight watchers is to take very small bites and put your fork down between bites. One of the ways your body tells if it is full is by counting the number of bites you take. And slowing down eating gives your body time to determine if it is full.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jul 18, 2013 11:51:12 GMT -5
I am only going on this post -- someone going into 7th grade is 12 years old. And I don't think a 12 year old should be forced to join. So what would you do if your 12 year old was 35 lbs overweight? I thought The Biggest Loser show was great last season. They brought on 3 kids - a couple 13 years olds and a 16 year old. The kids were never weighed and didn't spend a lot of time on campus. But they had a nutritionist come in and basically purge their house of junk food and help come up with healthy options for the whole family. They also came up with fun activities for the kids to enjoy: soccer, cheerleading, dance, baseball, basketball. The focus wasn't on working out, but on having fun in a healthy way. I don't know what I would do if my 12 year old was overweight - probably get her up early every morning and have her walk with me before school, have her choose some activities that encouraged moving after school, try to get the whole family active and moving. I don't know what that does if the other kid is underweight. But then I don't believe in the low fat/no fat processed crap and artificial sweetners (except when I had GD). I don't think those do anything but give you "permission" to eat more. So, I would try to stick with healthy options for everyone.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 18, 2013 11:51:49 GMT -5
I'm not fat and never have been. DS takes after me. DD takes after her dad. Trying to fatten one up and trying to help the other skinny down is not fun. I didn't buy fattening foods and we didn't eat out much at all because I couldn't afford it. Even if we did, it sure wasn't McDonald's because I can't eat that stuff. I hoped that WW would give her some helpful clues as to how to eat and when to eat. She didn't listen to doctor or nutritionist Even now she still lies about where she got food from. Says she must have had some thyroid problem. There's the age old excuse. I don't bother mentioning she saw a doctor. No point to it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 18, 2013 11:51:50 GMT -5
I'm missing it too.
But I know it, so I make plans on how to deal with it. DD can't do that yet. I try to do it for her, but I also don't want it to turn into a power struggle.
She also spends a fair amount of time with Gramma who used to let her have whatever she wanted and took them out to McDonald's far too much. We have put the kibosh on that the best we can, but it's a struggle.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jul 18, 2013 11:55:24 GMT -5
My kid is a little chubby. He could stand to lose 10 lbs or so now but a while ago he was probably 35 lbs overweight. He is 15. DH is normal sized but I have weight to lose. Here is what we did/are doing.
When we approached our son what we told him is this "As a family I think we need to adopt a healthier lifestyle and as parents we need to set a good example for you" As a family we joined a gym and added him to our membership, we encourage him to go with us a couple of times a week. We don't buy your typical junk food (no Hostess, Little Debbie, cookies, ice cream, etc). DH and I bring our lunches to work so when we get a box of say crackers to toss in our lunch I immediately break them out into individual servings and put them in zip-lock bags. That way he can take a individual serving out of the cabinet and not an entire box of crackers. We don't have soda in the house. We drink only water, milk and DH will have an ice tea from time to time. For a while we had a personal trainer that was working with the whole family. We would do group hikes and workouts with her. She got all into crossfit and her schedule stopped working with ours so we haven't used her in a while.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jul 18, 2013 11:56:02 GMT -5
Ain't that the truth?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 18, 2013 11:56:37 GMT -5
Would using a smaller plate work? Trick her into thinking she's eating way more than she is?
I load up DH's plate with more vegetables and smaller amounts of protein/carbs. He still gets plenty of food but I gave him a lot more of the lower calorie option. So far that's been working pretty well.
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