milee
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Post by milee on Jul 17, 2013 21:29:35 GMT -5
No kidding. When did cheerleading become something you could buy your way onto? In elementary school even? Elementary school is supposed to be when we allow our children to experience different things so they can have a range of experiences. Elementary cheerleading should not be a fight to the death or require advanced skills. And the attitude that an elementary aged girl should be shamed out of a cheer camp is exactly why I think any parent who values her child's emotional wellbeing and wants to teach that child strong values and social skills should avoid cheerleading and its poisonous atmosphere at all costs. How do you teach your child that she is more than her looks and sex appeal when she's put in an activity that focuses almost exclusively on that?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 21:31:28 GMT -5
No kidding. When did cheerleading become something you could buy your way onto? In elementary school even? Elementary school is supposed to be when we allow our children to experience different things so they can have a range of experiences. Elementary cheerleading should not be a fight to the death or require advanced skills. And the attitude that an elementary aged girl should be shamed out of a cheer camp is exactly why I think any parent who values her child's emotional wellbeing and wants to teach that child strong values and social skills should avoid cheerleading and its poisonous atmosphere at all costs. How do you teach your child that she is more than her looks and sex appeal when she's put in an activity that focuses almost exclusively on that? That's not true....my daughter works damn hard as to all of her fellow cheerleaders. No, she isn't going to become a professional cheerleader but to say that they only focus on looks and sex appeal is wrong.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 21:32:09 GMT -5
I did chearleading in 6th grade and quit because those girls really were bitches. Then I suffered all through 7th grade because I was the girl who was "too good for chearleading" and got called a stuck up bitch all year. Good times. The cheerleaders called you stuck up? How bad were you???lol. (Just kidding)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2013 21:32:51 GMT -5
I think it does matter what group you belong to. Some are very athletic, compete, etc. others, not so much...
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 17, 2013 21:33:54 GMT -5
I have a neighbor girl that was quite chubby until she was a freshman. She tried out for poms and the coach made some derogatory comment about her looks that she overheard. That coach also had her own studio and it became well known that if you were a student at her studio you were more likely to make the team. A scandal ensued a new coach was chosen. Neighbor girl practiced for team with friends, lost the baby fat and made the team the next year. Her parents would not miss an eating disorder so I really think it was "baby fat". I would encourage a healthy self image and healthy food choices and not get too hung up on it.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 17, 2013 21:34:35 GMT -5
Elementary school is supposed to be when we allow our children to experience different things so they can have a range of experiences. Elementary cheerleading should not be a fight to the death or require advanced skills. And the attitude that an elementary aged girl should be shamed out of a cheer camp is exactly why I think any parent who values her child's emotional wellbeing and wants to teach that child strong values and social skills should avoid cheerleading and its poisonous atmosphere at all costs. How do you teach your child that she is more than her looks and sex appeal when she's put in an activity that focuses almost exclusively on that? That's not true....my daughter works damn hard as to all of her fellow cheerleaders. No, she isn't going to become a professional cheerleader but to say that they only focus on looks and sex appeal is wrong. Yes they work very hard... at looking good. From the selection of the girls to the routines performed, the focus is on appearance. The entire raison d'etre is to "inspire" the crowds with their good looks and appealing routine. No? Your cheer team is composed of husky girls chosen because they could bench press the most weight?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 21:36:42 GMT -5
That's not true....my daughter works damn hard as to all of her fellow cheerleaders. No, she isn't going to become a professional cheerleader but to say that they only focus on looks and sex appeal is wrong. Yes they work very hard... at looking good. From the selection of the girls to the routines performed, the focus is on appearance. The entire raison d'etre is to "inspire" the crowds with their good looks and appealing routine. No? Your cheer team is composed of husky girls chosen because they could bench press the most weight? My daughter does competitive cheer.....I don't see much in the way of appealing routines...more like "holy fuck, I hope they catch that flyer"..... Talk about judgmental....
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 21:37:31 GMT -5
I think it does matter what group you belong to. Some are very athletic, compete, etc. others, not so much... Exactly....I have yet to see any fluff girls on the cheer team or at competition.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 17, 2013 21:42:00 GMT -5
Yes, cheer is completely, 100% about the athletics.
And your husband really does get Playboy for the articles.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 17, 2013 21:42:06 GMT -5
I knew people on the cheer team in college. Those girls worked out, it was like gymnastics but instead of beams and bars, you bounced off other people. I was more than a little impressed. I would think attitude would depend on what group you were in.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 17, 2013 21:45:32 GMT -5
I knew people on the cheer team in college. Those girls worked out, it was like gymnastics but instead of beams and bars, you bounced off other people. I was more than a little impressed. I would think attitude would depend on what group you were in. Oh, I'm not in any way knocking the actual work. It is incredibly athletic. My sister was in cheer and I'm very familiar with the workouts. They put the football workouts to shame. It is a lot of work to look that good. My comments are on the group that cheer tends to attract around here. It's not nice. Not the attitude you'd want your daughter around.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 21:49:27 GMT -5
I knew people on the cheer team in college. Those girls worked out, it was like gymnastics but instead of beams and bars, you bounced off other people. I was more than a little impressed. I would think attitude would depend on what group you were in. Oh, I'm not in any way knocking the actual work. It is incredibly athletic. My sister was in cheer and I'm very familiar with the workouts. They put the football workouts to shame. It is a lot of work to look that good. My comments are on the group that cheer tends to attract around here. It's not nice. Not the attitude you'd want your daughter around. So you are getting like one if the mods.... Because something is like that in your area it is universally true?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 21:50:11 GMT -5
Yes, cheer is completely, 100% about the athletics. And your husband really does get Playboy for the articles. My husband isn't gay...he looks at boobs like any straight guy...I'm not sure he realizes those magazines even HAVE articles
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jul 17, 2013 21:55:54 GMT -5
So, this is kind of OT, but has anyone seen that show Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders - making the team?
Yes, yes, I know I watch a lot of garbage TV, but I really liked that show
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 17, 2013 22:00:42 GMT -5
Oh, I'm not in any way knocking the actual work. It is incredibly athletic. My sister was in cheer and I'm very familiar with the workouts. They put the football workouts to shame. It is a lot of work to look that good. My comments are on the group that cheer tends to attract around here. It's not nice. Not the attitude you'd want your daughter around. So you are getting like one if the mods.... Because something is like that in your area it is universally true? Who knows if it's universally true? But let's take a quick look at what we've seen on this brief thread so far. We've had these caring, loving parenting tips from cheer parents: "I'm with MM...the bitch needs a smack down :-(" "I would probably have her point the girl out and figure out what her weakness was....lazy eye, shitty teeth, frizzy hair, etc....then if have my kid give it back to her. But I'm mean...no really, I'm mean!lol. One little fucker made fun if my youngest because she didn't talk right. I told that ugly fucker that someday she will talk right but he will always be mean...kids got know if you can dish it out you had better be able to take it." "When did cheerleading become something you could buy your way onto? In elementary school even? I was always having to tell girls to knock off the mounts and stuff during class. It was always the girls who no way in hell would ever make real cheerleading so what was the point?" And this description of someone's experience in cheer: "I did chearleading in 6th grade and quit because those girls really were bitches. Then I suffered all through 7th grade because I was the girl who was "too good for chearleading" and got called a stuck up bitch all year. Good times." Since we all live in different areas, that's a reasonable sample of the genre. So if this type of parenting and experience is what you'd like for your child and you're lucky enough to live in a place that has this type of behavior in the local cheer group, then by all means, put her in cheer right away. It sounds like a lovely group.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Jul 17, 2013 22:07:57 GMT -5
So, this is kind of OT, but has anyone seen that show Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders - making the team? Yes, yes, I know I watch a lot of garbage TV, but I really liked that show I've seen that show. Those girls can run 3 miles at an impressive 6 minute mile pace out in the Dallas heat and still have perfect hair and make-up.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 17, 2013 22:11:25 GMT -5
I think those two had to do with a bullying situation/ or at least an insult was given, and the advice would be the same no matter what activity it was.
I don't think Zib taught cheer leading. So this situation would be a non-cheer leading individual looking and and making judgement about those who wanted to cheer. I actually don't see her saying anything about the attitude of the girls who were doing it, but that they were practicing during class, which isn't the time to practice.
That ones supports your assumptions about cheer leading. But than mine with the girls in college would counter balance that.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 22:12:24 GMT -5
So you are getting like one if the mods.... Because something is like that in your area it is universally true? Who knows if it's universally true? But let's take a quick look at what we've seen on this brief thread so far. We've had these caring, loving parenting tips from cheer parents: "I'm with MM...the bitch needs a smack down :-(" "I would probably have her point the girl out and figure out what her weakness was....lazy eye, shitty teeth, frizzy hair, etc....then if have my kid give it back to her. But I'm mean...no really, I'm mean!lol. One little fucker made fun if my youngest because she didn't talk right. I told that ugly fucker that someday she will talk right but he will always be mean...kids got know if you can dish it out you had better be able to take it." "When did cheerleading become something you could buy your way onto? In elementary school even? I was always having to tell girls to knock off the mounts and stuff during class. It was always the girls who no way in hell would ever make real cheerleading so what was the point?" And this description of someone's experience in cheer: "I did chearleading in 6th grade and quit because those girls really were bitches. Then I suffered all through 7th grade because I was the girl who was "too good for chearleading" and got called a stuck up bitch all year. Good times." Since we all live in different areas, that's a reasonable sample of the genre. So if this type of parenting and experience is what you'd like for your child and you're lucky enough to live in a place that has this type of behavior in the local cheer group, then by all means, put her in cheer right away. It sounds like a lovely group. My daughter IS in cheer and loves it.....has been for years. She also takes gymnastics off and on and plays soccer.... Oh, and I am proud of my parenting skills...some little shit is going to hurt my special needs child the little shit is getting it right back ;-)
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 22:13:22 GMT -5
So, this is kind of OT, but has anyone seen that show Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders - making the team? Yes, yes, I know I watch a lot of garbage TV, but I really liked that show I've seen that show. Those girls can run 3 miles at an impressive 6 minute mile pace out in the Dallas heat and still have perfect hair and make-up. But can they do it in heels? Now THAT would be impressive :-p
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2013 22:14:49 GMT -5
"It was always the girls who no way in hell would ever make real cheerleading so what was the point?"
uhm, the above is really the most slaptasic part of what zib spewed... I thought zib was espousing the attitude herself.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jul 17, 2013 22:17:47 GMT -5
"It was always the girls who no way in hell would ever make real cheerleading so what was the point?" uhm, the above is really the most slaptasic part of what zib spewed... I thought zib was espousing the attitude herself. I didn't even understand that post (zibs)....what the hell is a real cheerleader?
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Jul 17, 2013 22:19:26 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2013 22:20:52 GMT -5
Swamp your DD is going to get most of her attitude about her weight from you. The most important opinions in the world to her are yours and your husbands. If you tell her she's beautiful and smart and healthy and the other girl is an idiot not worthy of her attention she is going to believe you. She might wish the girl was nicer, but she is not going to internalise the negative shit unless it's coming from you.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jul 17, 2013 22:24:12 GMT -5
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jul 17, 2013 22:36:34 GMT -5
Swamp-I'd do the same as you-either tell the adult in charge, simply walk away, whatever. That's about all the tools you have at this age.
My DD is not fat, but she's like 98th percentile for weight. I get super stressed that she's inherited my PCOS. We generally eat healthy anyway, but I do watch the amount of carbs the kid eats. I always try to make her eat a protein for breakfast as well. If my DD is carbing out, then the protein gets eaten first. We also limit carbs for snacks. Luckily, she doesn't fight me much on it. The drs are keeping an eye on her weight, though.
Kids #1 and #2 are huge. DH and I aren't exactly waifs, so this was to be expected. DS lost a couple of lbs this year (at age 9). We didn't do anything different. I'm wondering if my DD is going to slim down at some point, naturally as well. I figure I won't get excited until then. #3 is a peanut. I seriously thought something was wrong with her because she's much smaller than the other two kids.
I'd try to nurture the interest in food. Does any place close to you offer kiddie cooking classes? (Our YMCA does. And I think the parks/rec department does as well.) What about finding a personal chef that would be willing to give your daughter some lessons?
I'm just wondering if you gave her some ownership of meals, meal planning, and letting her learn about cooking if that would take some of the "battle" out of the food issue.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 17, 2013 22:42:51 GMT -5
Oped-for lack of better phrasing, are you on the paleo diet?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jul 17, 2013 22:48:49 GMT -5
Swamp, I think I might have asked how the mean girl's comment made your daughter feel. If it hurt her feelings, I'd then ask if she thinks she's "fat". Her answer might help you motivate her to watch how much she eats, and what she eats (that is, if the comment hurt her). If, on the other hand, she doesn't think of herself as fat (and knows you and her daddy don't), she probably wasn't as bothered by the comment as you were. As long as she's healthy, I wouldn't worry too much yet. If she doesn't gain too much, she should start to lose some of it as she begins to gain height.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2013 22:52:06 GMT -5
Umh, not strictly Paleo. I eat potatoes. I'm not sure about rice yet. But my body doesn't seem to like most grains. But it doesn't like other things either, lol. I started with the ideas in The Plan by Lyn Genet... Well, I'd already given up wheat and corn, but that was the start of the real elimination work. I started it to feel better, get rid of symptoms like ear fluid, etc. but I've lost 25 lb since February.
Enough hijack. I really do fear I start to sound fanatical some times.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jul 17, 2013 23:03:18 GMT -5
DD was at cheering camp today and another little girl walked up to her and told her she's fat. DD is 5. I told her next time it happens to tell the girl that she was mean and hurt her feelings and then tell the adult in charge. I wanted to tell her to say "i can lose weight, but you'll always be ugly and stupid" or to just hit her What would you do? I know I'm late to the party, and I have no advice, but I will share a story. My son had a favorite t-shirt. He wore it the day after I did laundry - every time. It had Mickey Mouse on it. One day, he stopped wearing it. After a little poking around he admitted that some kid told him it was a baby shirt and he didn't want to wear it anymore. I caught my self mid-sentence as I was saying "Tell that kid to f....pound sand." Later, I heard my son tell my husband the same story and I heard my husband say "That guy can just f....mind his own business." So - I'm no help. Our advice wasn't appropriate.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 17, 2013 23:24:37 GMT -5
Umh, not strictly Paleo. I eat potatoes. I'm not sure about rice yet. But my body doesn't seem to like most grains. But it doesn't like other things either, lol. I started with the ideas in The Plan by Lyn Genet... Well, I'd already given up wheat and corn, but that was the start of the real elimination work. I started it to feel better, get rid of symptoms like ear fluid, etc. but I've lost 25 lb since February. Enough hijack. I really do fear I start to sound fanatical some times. Thanks!
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