NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 26, 2015 8:30:33 GMT -5
I'm also sorry it came to this, but it's done, and Rowdy will find out quickly just what shade of "green" the grass is on the other side of the fence. It may have looked greener standing on your side, but truthfully, thanks to his mother, it's browner than a barn full of manure. Or KaraBoo's bad self after a day of four-wheelin'.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on May 26, 2015 8:46:21 GMT -5
Nancy - unfortunately comparing her house to cow manure is off base - it's more like a sty - wallowing in their own excrement and waiting on scraps to be thrown their way.
I did have a blast getting muddy and blowing targets to smithereens. :-D
Taz - as far as I can tell, LaLa and Monkey are handling it okay at the moment. I'm kind of afraid of what's going through Monkey's mind. She tends to be conniving, trying to figure out how to work things to benefit her without really caring how it affects anyone else.
I don't think LaLa plans on moving anytime soon. She's never talked about moving except into her own place and she commented recently that she wasn't ready for that yet. I really think she's just biding her time until she turns 21. She wants to work on a cruise ship, but they won't hire anyone under 21, so I think she's sitting tight until then. I'm fine with that - she'll have no bills and no responsibilities if she's careful between now and then. Might as well go for it!
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on May 26, 2015 9:07:50 GMT -5
((( Big Hugs ))) it's Rowdy's own damn fault, not yours. I hope Monkey and LaLa have better sense than that.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
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Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 26, 2015 9:45:54 GMT -5
Either way, it's still not the paradise Rowdy seems to think he'll find when he moves away from you and Hun. Damned kids. At that age, they always know it all. And sometimes, don't mind letting you know in the strongest possible way. You had to take a stand, for your own sake as well as the sake of the other kids. Otherwise, you run the risk of one dose of poisonous bad attitude getting into the others and starting an epidemic.
My personal bet is that he wants to come crawling back in a matter of weeks. Weeks, mind you. Not months. I don't know what to tell you if that happens, or whether to allow him back. For me personally, it's way too much trust violated. But I'm not you.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on May 26, 2015 10:12:47 GMT -5
Rowdy's like me. He's stubborn. I'm betting it'll take a little longer than weeks. My bet will be between 6 months and a year before he starts trying to talk to us about moving back in. If that happens, I'll be putting the brakes on and hopefully the first answer will be a no. I'm all for helping him out, but I'm not going to have him bouncing back and forth without a darn good reason why.
The only reason it would be shorter is because Jetsams boyfriend kicks him out (which is an unknown factor at the moment).
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 26, 2015 11:04:34 GMT -5
Kara, you look exactly like this girl in my office. So much like her it's kinda creepy.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 26, 2015 11:09:13 GMT -5
Rowdy's like me. He's stubborn. I'm betting it'll take a little longer than weeks. My bet will be between 6 months and a year before he starts trying to talk to us about moving back in. If that happens, I'll be putting the brakes on and hopefully the first answer will be a no. I'm all for helping him out, but I'm not going to have him bouncing back and forth without a darn good reason why. The only reason it would be shorter is because Jetsams boyfriend kicks him out (which is an unknown factor at the moment). I'm betting that's what will happen. The boytoy decides he does not want competition for the old lady's attention. Or just does not want another body in the house, taking up space, eating food, breathing air, getting good at being useless, etc. I mean, that's the boytoy's privilege, right?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 14:45:57 GMT -5
It sounds rough, but I do figure if people keep banging heads over and over, it's best to actually try stuff rather than endlessly rehash in a downward spiral. The previous pattern sure wasn't working for anyone, so trying something new sounds good. I like that Rowdy was basically only sent over to his mom's place. My mind can spin really severe outcomes, that one is pretty mild. It's also kind of a two for one "you wanted it, you got it. Go for it," experience for both Rowdy and Jetsam
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on May 26, 2015 19:35:59 GMT -5
Kara, you look exactly like this girl in my office. So much like her it's kinda creepy. Eh....I wouldn't have a financial problem if I received $1000 every time someone said that to me! Seriously - I have so many people tell me that, it doesn't even surprise me anymore... If it makes you feel any better - I'm not creeped out by it.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on May 26, 2015 19:45:31 GMT -5
I'm really sorry it came to this, Kara, but I don't see how it could have gone any other way, really. Rowdy has made his bed. It's time for him to lie in it. Jetsam has all the answers. Great. Now, she can see where her answers lead. Hopefully, Rowdy will grow up one day and realize what he's done to himself. He wasn't going to realize it as long as someone else was dragging him back from the brink. Hugs to you, hun, Monkey, Lala and Buddy. I hope all of you can find some peace now. The mud bath was just a start!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on May 26, 2015 20:02:24 GMT -5
Rowdy's like me. He's stubborn. I'm betting it'll take a little longer than weeks. My bet will be between 6 months and a year before he starts trying to talk to us about moving back in. If that happens, I'll be putting the brakes on and hopefully the first answer will be a no. I'm all for helping him out, but I'm not going to have him bouncing back and forth without a darn good reason why. The only reason it would be shorter is because Jetsams boyfriend kicks him out (which is an unknown factor at the moment). I'm betting that's what will happen. The boytoy decides he does not want competition for the old lady's attention. Or just does not want another body in the house, taking up space, eating food, breathing air, getting good at being useless, etc. I mean, that's the boytoy's privilege, right? LOL!! Only partially accurate. I'm not sure I've talked about Jetsam's BF/fiance. She's lived with him almost 2 years and told us upfront that all of her kids could not visit her overnight because there wasn't enough room for them at the house he lived in. That really upset me as a mom - why do that to your kids just for a man? The more we learned about him (Hun and I), the more unsure we were about him, but not our problem. However, one thing Jetsam did say about a year ago - boytoy kicked his own son out of his house for disrespecting him - so I expect the next several months to be....interesting!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2015 20:12:25 GMT -5
Here's hoping that you get some quiet, settled normal time with the family that is still at home!
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on May 26, 2015 20:24:47 GMT -5
And.....it's already started.... I'm not laughing manically - no...not at all! Rowdy called Hun asking him for the phone (that he somehow took/borrowed from a friend) tonight. We took it away from him because it had access to the internet and we'd grounded him from that because of his attitude (never mind that we weren't allowing him to have a smart phone at that point). Hun has no idea where it is/went. Asked me if I had seen it - nope. Hun texted him back - just use the phone that Jetsam gave Monkey (also against our house rules and the cause of the last police visit to our house). Rowdy's upset because they already tried that phone, but Monkey locked it down with passwords and her mom doesn't have the passwords (hhmm...really?!?....I'm shocked!). He accused Hun of stealing "his" things - Hun just responded, "If you respected me and my wife, I might be inclined to help you. Not my problem." I'm just laughing because he swears he's smarter than us. We know that Jetsam doesn't have her own phone plan - she's on her mommy's plan (at age 40 because her's credit is shot) and will have to get her son a pay-as-you-go or track-phone to use. Ooops! Guess he didn't know/think about that....but I sure remember that!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 26, 2015 20:36:25 GMT -5
Oh how they think they know everything. Then they realize one day that they really don't know everything. Hopefully his day comes sooner rather than later.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 26, 2015 20:40:31 GMT -5
Being an asshole can sure bite you in the ass.
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on May 27, 2015 2:40:02 GMT -5
Hmmmm - started in two days huh? Lol Yep, this is going to be good - too bad Rowdy is fucking his life up but at least the view will be amazing! Extra five points to Hun for his reply.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 27, 2015 9:06:01 GMT -5
Made my day just to read that. A track phone for a teenager!? How on earth will he survive that, do ya think??
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on May 29, 2015 8:23:46 GMT -5
Surprisingly (not!), it has been a quiet week at the Karaboo house.
Back to money matters (finally!):
Just found out yesterday that the high school band has been invited/will be going to Disney World at spring break. I have no idea of cost, but that is supposed to be relayed by end of school (next Wednesday).
We'll have two in band - Buddy (he'll be a senior) playing trombone and Monkey (a freshman) in color guard. Twice the expense.... :-(
I'm going to have to get creative on raising money over the next 9 months!!!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 29, 2015 8:39:38 GMT -5
Surprisingly (not!), it has been a quiet week at the Karaboo house. Back to money matters (finally!): Just found out yesterday that the high school band has been invited/will be going to Disney World at spring break. I have no idea of cost, but that is supposed to be relayed by end of school (next Wednesday). We'll have two in band - Buddy (he'll be a senior) playing trombone and Monkey (a freshman) in color guard. Twice the expense.... :-( I'm going to have to get creative on raising money over the next 9 months!!!Hey, between you, me and No Name Person, maybe a few street corner stints? (NNP says she's worth the money, anyway). Buddy can play for bucks, the way the subway musicians do in NYC....trombone case open, and play solos at the local mall/shopping center, etc (get permission from the manager first on this one). "Bucks For Buddy" has a nice fundraising ring to it. "Moolah For Monkey" could be raised by chores she does for neighbors. They'll pay more if they know it's for a cause like this.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Aug 15, 2015 13:20:25 GMT -5
I know this thread is months old - but I wanted to give everyone an update. I've been kind of radio-silent on the boards lately - trying to get my life ironed out. I'm finally in a much better place! So is our household - so much so, that it feels like a completely different family (to a point): LaLa is still living with us and still working. Her car "blew up" about a month ago - seems to still start and run fine - except for the oil pouring out of the engine. I have no idea what it is that's broke - but Hun seems to think if he can get get time to pull it apart, he'll know immediately if it is worth fixing or scraping. She's been on the hunt for a "new" vehicle while she's driving my Suburban to and from work. She started looking at new vehicles when no one would finance her for a used vehicle without a co-signer. Both Hun and I told her we would not be co-signing at this time (both because of our credit and because of her maturity regarding money matters - we've been warning her of this possibility for over a year and she had NO money saved). Jetsam agreed to co-sign for her daughter - we've been letting them go look at cars. LaLa is 19 and can do what she wants - we're just not going to be responsible for the payments if she gets into trouble. Which she probably will because she's listening to her mom instead of us in this particular matter. She has stars in her eyes with the thought of a new car and nothing can tell her differently!! Buddy is a senior in high school. He's been very vocal about wanting to do the senior trip to Disney above everything else. He's willing to forgo just about everything else if it means he can go. He's helping to save money as well - but it's still going to be close/tight. His response regarding the trip is, "I'll have other Christmas', birthdays, trips - but I'll only have one senior trip with my friends. I don't want to pass up this memory!" I'm happy to help him attempt to have this memory! Fingers crossed - he'll have his driver's license next Friday (scheduled test). Monkey is a freshman and is in color guard. She started to say she was going to quit after the 2nd day of practice. We convinced her otherwise (with only a little bit of drama that isn't even worth mentioning! ). Basically, it boils down to her feeling overwhelmed and ready to throw in the towel. Now that she's been in practice for 2 weeks, things are starting to fall into place better and she's having a lot more fun with it. She insists she doesn't want to go to Disney - but both Hun and I figure once the season and school actually starts, she might change her mind - so we're still trying to figure out how to help her as well. School starts a week from Monday!! EEK!!! Rowdy is still silent. We have heard nothing from him directly. I have encouraged Hun to reach out to him - but he's not doing that either. Not even to ask Jetsam how he's doing. Not sure why - but I'm leaving him alone other than to mention it occasionally. It is his child. (to be continued)
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Aug 15, 2015 13:31:59 GMT -5
Now to our household life: We've 100% confirmed who "Not Me" is in our house. It was Rowdy - surprise surprise..... Since he's moved out - we have not had anything "disappear", there is still food in our house, arguments are not erupting, the general stress level of the household walking on eggshells is gone and cleanliness of our house is unmatched since I can't remember. Seriously - I cannot believe how much food we went through in this house directly related to him! If we ordered Chicken Express for dinner - we'd have to get a 30-40 piece family meal and there might, MIGHT, be enough for 1-2 people to have lunch the next day. The first time we ordered this after he was gone - we still had chicken left over 3 days later! I used to buy 3 gallons of milk every week - and we'd still run out. Recently, I had to throw out an entire gallon of milk that went bad after he left. We've had the same 3 containers of cereal in the pantry for the last 2 weeks - before we were going through 3 containers of cereal in a week. Ice cream? Forget about it - it was gone in a day and "no one could say who ate it". I'm still trying to adjust to buying less food - I almost don't know what to do!!! Since he's been gone - there has only been one "argument" with Monkey - and that was the one over color guard. In three months - 1 argument - this is unprecendented!!! (to be continued)
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Aug 15, 2015 13:40:08 GMT -5
Finally - my relationship with Hun: We are no longer at each other's throats. It has been a complete 180 - and I'm no longer considering leaving him like I was before. We are acting like we did when we first met and like a bunch of teenagers. We're spending time with each other, goofing off and working through life together. Hun has commented how surprised he's been at the level of stress having Rowdy in our household brought. He's enjoying our "new" relationship and the peacefulness our house now has. We're still behind on (credit card) bills and we still haven't filed for bankruptcy - but that's just because we haven't made it a priority at the moment. We're able to pay all of our standard bills, buy groceries and pay for things the kids need without credit - so we haven't focused on cleaning up the credit mess just yet. In my mind - cleaning up our relationship and family mess has been a MUCH higher priority! We're getting there! I appreciate this board so much - I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Hun's waiting on me to finish this post so we can go have some more fun!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 15, 2015 13:48:34 GMT -5
Kara, I'm so happy for you. I know how it is when one bad apple spoils the whole barrel. I'm sorry when it's someone you're trying to love and help but..,, you can't help someone who doesn't want it.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 15, 2015 13:53:26 GMT -5
Thanks for the update! So glad things are going better for you guys now!
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Aug 15, 2015 13:55:02 GMT -5
Thanks for the update! So glad things are going better for you guys now! I was thinking of you the other day and wondering how you were.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Aug 15, 2015 13:56:37 GMT -5
Kara, I'm so happy for you. I know how it is when one bad apple spoils the whole barrel. I'm sorry when it's someone you're trying to love and help but..,, you can't help someone who doesn't want it. X 2 Glad your family life is improving for the better
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 15, 2015 14:22:06 GMT -5
Thanks for the update! So glad things are going better for you guys now! I was thinking of you the other day and wondering how you were. to both!
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Apple
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Always travel with a sense of humor
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Post by Apple on Aug 15, 2015 16:23:06 GMT -5
So glad things are getting back on track!
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Robert not Bobby
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Post by Robert not Bobby on Aug 15, 2015 16:27:26 GMT -5
So glad things are getting back on track! Are you the Apple that I knew from way back when? If you are, be well and may all good things come to you. I have to go in a few minutes.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Aug 16, 2015 12:07:49 GMT -5
Exactly. Let it happen just as you say. By all means, have her talk to her "moneybags mama" about that co-sign thing. And then let the dealership run a credit check on Lala and Mama. I'm thinking their combined credit scores will get them kicked out of even a used car lot.
Kids....can't tell 'em anything.
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