TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 2, 2014 21:57:59 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear this. I am glad that GW1 can see what you are doing for her and has learned that you are doing so many things for her. It makes me sad, as I'm sure it does you, that GW2 made the decision she did. She was in foster care for a reason. I hope she didn't totally throw her life away with this decision.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 22:41:12 GMT -5
This whole "You can't control what other people do" thing really sucks!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2014 17:30:51 GMT -5
She still has a workerLater, can you contact this person, to give her your perspective? I'm guessing that you would take GW2 back if she changed her mind sooner rather than later (no pun intended). Based on her FB post, it sounds like somebody put into her head that you shouldn't be charging her at all, or that you're charging her too much. If money was an issue for her, it would be very easy to tell her, "Come live with me instead of Later! I'm family, and I'll only charge you XXXX!" If she had family members who were truly concerned about her well-being, obviously, she wouldn't be in foster care in the first place. I fear she is going to be VERY badly let down by this uncle. I know you are hurting really badly, but if she realizes she made a mistake, I hope you will give her a second chance. Nobody would ever blame you if you didn't though, how hurtful, after all you've done for her and the welcome you and GW1 gave her. Before this happened, I was going to suggest encouraging GW2 to go into a vocational cooking / hospitality program. Good luck and hugs. ETA: I was talking to her worker today and CAS classifies her as low functioning.She doesn't have the skill set to be independant.
Again, I wanted to ask you about this, but frankly I didn't really feel comfortable. Does that mean GW2 will never live independently? Would she be oriented to a group home eventually? Would her foster family realistically have to keep her "forever"? If that's the case, would you have been willing to do that? I always saw you (and had the impression that you see yourself) as a loving and welcoming home and "launching pad", but not necessarily a place for somebody to stay "forever". Could this announcement by her "worker" have provoked her deciding to move out? Was she even aware of this? I truly hope you don't mind my asking these questions, Later. If you do, I'll shut up, no problem.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2014 20:07:05 GMT -5
@debthaven2 both workers that are involved with GW2 have been talking to me today and getting my perspective. GW2 will end up living independently but I don't foresee her doing it well. I am going to be travelling for 3 of the next 5 weeks, I can't bring her back at this time. She did a darn good job of sabotaging herself here.
Ok, an update for those that are interested in what is happening with her. For some reason the uncle that she was supposed to move in with has just dropped out of the picture. She isn't even talking about him as an option now. She says she gave her aunt $300 to stay there but now she can neither stay there nor get her money back. I don't know what to make of this. She only has $400 of her money for March left and no place to live. She wants an apartment. Apparently this is possible and the money will come out of a start up fund that is available to her as a crown ward. There is some kind of formula based on years of care so she has about $3000. That will cover first and last on a of a one bedroom apartment in this area.
She will get $895/month from CAS until she is 21. The only thing that will change that is if she starts receiving Disability. That would be about $950. I guess they have at least that limitation, only one government support cheque. In talking to the worker I found out that the kids get the $895/month until they are 21 almost no matter what. Even if they are working full time they will get that $895. Charge with crimes or caught with drugs and those cheques are not disrupted. The file can only be closed if they have not been in touch with their worker for 3 months. I have mixed emotions about that. Like most programs, good for people that will use it as a hand up, bad for people that will abuse it.
I'm not sure where she will be staying tonight. She has said she has no one she can stay with and has turned down the shelters.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 3, 2014 20:41:38 GMT -5
I am saddened to hear that GW2 has turned down the shelters.
What her family has done to her is horrible.
If you are going to be traveling, she can't come back to your place at this time.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 3, 2014 20:53:29 GMT -5
OMG, that poor, foolish child. Sounds like the uncle and aunt decided to sacrifice a child for a payment of $300. So very sad. I hope she doesn't end up out on the street. It's cold out there! My heart breaks for her, even though I know she's done this to herself.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 3, 2014 21:53:40 GMT -5
I'm so sorry Later. I'm sorry she has horrible relatives that did this too her too. I hope everything works out for her eventually.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2014 3:24:06 GMT -5
Oh Gd what a mess I'm so sorry.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Mar 4, 2014 6:30:29 GMT -5
Later If you are going to be traveling so much over the next few weeks what happens w/ GW1? Can she be left home alone (old enough, safe enough) or will she be staying w/some of your family?
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 4, 2014 7:23:05 GMT -5
Later If you are going to be traveling so much over the next few weeks what happens w/ GW1? Can she be left home alone (old enough, safe enough) or will she be staying w/some of your family? GW1 is going with her I believe.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2014 9:16:49 GMT -5
GW1 is coming with me for the first trip for 2 weeks. We are back for a week and I have to go for a work trip. For that one she will stay home and have a friend stay with her. We have a few back up folks for them including my friend, the other girls parents and her worker. I look at it as a mini practise session to taking care of the home.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Mar 4, 2014 9:39:34 GMT -5
Hugs Later. I'd like to say something comforting and/or profound but I got nothing. So hugs and we're here for you if you need/want to talk or vent or anything.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2014 9:46:59 GMT -5
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2014 6:08:25 GMT -5
Any news, Later?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 9, 2014 8:12:51 GMT -5
Reading about gw2 has made me so sad. How can an aunt and an uncle do their to their niece? It just breaks my heart how cold and cruel people can be to each other, especially family
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 15, 2014 11:25:58 GMT -5
Sadly, it appears to be about the money.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2014 22:38:06 GMT -5
GW1 and I had a great trip in Busan and Tokyo. GW2 has been keeping in touch and actually asked GW1 to hang out. So we aren't going to lose all touch. According to her facebook she is working again. Keeping my fingers crossed.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Mar 22, 2014 5:44:13 GMT -5
Seems to be all good news Later. How is YOUR life going?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 22, 2014 6:05:21 GMT -5
Life is good marv Trying to recover from jet lag and remembering the office politics I left behind 2 weeks ago but those are pretty much first world problems. I loved my trip but it is good to be home. My friend and I are getting along really well and GW1 told me I have her permission to have him move in lol Not going to happen but it's great they get along. Thanks for asking
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 22, 2014 7:27:32 GMT -5
So glad you and GW1 had a good time on your trip. I hope you have some pics to share! Glad, too, to hear GW2 is doing okay and staying in touch.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Mar 22, 2014 17:35:19 GMT -5
Glad you had a great trip! Very happy to hear that GW1 and GW2 are in touch and that you can see on FB what GW2 is up to. Sounds like GW1 is accepting your friend.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Mar 23, 2014 5:06:55 GMT -5
Good to hear GW1 is open to your new 'friend' and then some. From what I hear that is one VERY tough step for adult relationships. Sounds as if she is more mature than GW2.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2014 16:22:38 GMT -5
Later that's good news! I'm glad you and GW1 had a great time, and that she's happy about your friend now. And it's good that both are you are still in touch with GW2.
Are you still looking to foster another girl besides GW1? If so, how does that work? Are you actively looking for one, or do social services just know you're open to it if it should happen? (Again, sorry for all these questions!)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2014 8:37:27 GMT -5
Hi debt I am open to taking another girl. Right now it looks like GW1's BF will move in for a few months over the summer. She graduates HS this year and has a summer job in town that will be easier to get to from my place than out in the boonies with her current placement. Next year she goes to college here in town. This is a unique situation, usually Social Services knows I have an open bed and will ask me to take placements they think might be a fit.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2014 10:31:47 GMT -5
Okay, there has been a bit of stuff going on. GW2 had bad things happen to her as a child and up here we have a victim impact fund. She applied to it and they have awarded her $10,000. She is feeling very rich right now and is enjoying being on her own. The lifeskills counselling seems to be working for her so I'm hopeful for her. I was supposed to go out of town this week for work but I lost my passport (keep track of it all through Asia and lose it at home, only me ) Anyway, I ended up staying home. Which has turned out to be a good thing as GW1 fell out of her bed on Sunday night and gave herself a concussion. She's out of school and off work for the next 7 days or so. She's liking the vacation now but she is not going to enjoy getting back up to speed on things. She is already struggling with math so she is going to have to work like crazy. She wasn't thrilled when I explained that even a concussion does not get her out of the work she needs to do to pass her courses. We had to have a talk about how we have to deal with stuff even when it isn't "our fault".
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2014 11:08:43 GMT -5
Good thing you were home! I hope she feels better soon!!
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 1, 2014 11:35:31 GMT -5
Aww, the poor girl! I'll bet it seems like one step forward and two backward to her. I hope she's feeling better soon. Give her a hug for me. Good news for GW2. I hope you're right that she's learned enough to make this windfall work for her! Hope ya find your passport.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2014 20:29:41 GMT -5
LGW sent me a friend request on FB! GW ran into her at the mall on the weekend and they were all happy to see each other. She is getting better visits with her parents which makes her really happy, she got all A's on her report card and she now has braces started. I don't know if I ever mentioned how bad her teeth are. A result of her mother's poor nutrition I think. I don't know if she is still throwing her fits or not but on the surface she seems to be doing well. We are trying to arrange for her to visit for a weekend.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Apr 8, 2014 20:47:51 GMT -5
Glad to hear LGW seems to be doing so well, later, and hope you are able to have her for a visit. I'm sure both girls would enjoy it along with you! Good to hear LGW is getting her teeth fixed, as well. I imagine it's hard for a kid with bad teeth. Probably really bad for their self-esteem. Hopefully, the improved situation with her parents will continue for her.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Apr 9, 2014 10:14:22 GMT -5
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