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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2014 10:54:00 GMT -5
Not as relaxing as you might think.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 19, 2014 11:02:36 GMT -5
I'm glad GW2's cyst is a small one, later. Hope it doesn't take long to find out what's causing her discomfort. Out of curiosity, where does she hurt and what kind of hurt is it? Is it a sharp pain, an ache, in one place or moving around?
I'll bet GW1 feels all grown up now, being able to drive herself about. That's a really big step in a kid's life. Good for her!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Feb 19, 2014 12:15:00 GMT -5
How's it feel have your own chauffeur? AKA Designated Driver
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2014 12:53:54 GMT -5
mmhmm it's hard to get clear answers from her. All I can say for sure is her abdomen. I'm starting to suspect ulcers. But that's just my latest guess.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 19, 2014 12:57:25 GMT -5
Hmm. Any diarrhea or constipation that you know of? One thing I always check for when dealing with abdominal pain (especially, upper abdominal pain) is H. pylori. It's a simple blood test that can be done along with the other blood tests and is often left out. I always figure it's worth a shot because it's so easily treated. Good luck to her. I hope they find out what's bothering her. She's too young to have to be subjected to that sort of thing.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 19, 2014 22:05:05 GMT -5
I had ulcers at her age. Get her checked for those. They hurt.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 21, 2014 10:09:20 GMT -5
Hey later, I was just on the Atlas Obscura website and for fun I plugged in Busan. I don't know what your plans are when you're there obviously. But the 1 thing IN Busan on the website was a puppy cafe - you can play with puppies while you get a drink. I think all the other stuff was outside the City. But it's another source to look at.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2014 18:38:15 GMT -5
Thanks Beth.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2014 9:36:46 GMT -5
I think I mentioned before that GW2 is having trouble getting her act together. I was talking to her worker today and CAS classifies her as low functioning.She doesn't have the skill set to be independant. She is a great cook, and can clean and fix things and do her laundry like a pro. But budgetting and planning ahead are beyond her. She doesn't really get that you need to actually do a bunch of smaller steps to reach the final goal. However she is smart enough to get angry at the idea that she is "stupid". I'm about to go into a whole new phase of fostering...
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Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2014 19:02:26 GMT -5
You'll be as great at the "new phase" as you are at the old.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Feb 28, 2014 6:39:53 GMT -5
my girls are highly intelleigent but sometimes needed a bit of guidence on umfamiliar things. i vividly remember the first time they had to do US income taxes.
I broke things down into a step by step worksheet for them. Small bites at a time (baby steps?). Might that work for GW2?
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Feb 28, 2014 8:38:16 GMT -5
I think I mentioned before that GW2 is having trouble getting her act together. I was talking to her worker today and CAS classifies her as low functioning.She doesn't have the skill set to be independant. She is a great cook, and can clean and fix things and do her laundry like a pro. But budgetting and planning ahead are beyond her. She doesn't really get that you need to actually do a bunch of smaller steps to reach the final goal. However she is smart enough to get angry at the idea that she is "stupid". I'm about to go into a whole new phase of fostering... This makes me so sad for her! I have a similar issue with my oldest step-daughter (who's now 18). Before we received custody of her and the others, she lived with her mom who told her she was learning disabled and it was okay that she didn't "know" or "understand" certain things. This seriously affected her self-esteem because she really is smart - she just struggles in certain subjects (math specifically). However - being told this at such a young age and not being taught how to compensate for the areas she struggles in, it has affected her in all areas of her life. My suggestion is to help her by showing her how to take the knowledge of subjects she is strong in and translate that to the subjects she struggles with. For example - she's a great cook, can clean and do laundry well. All of those items take a little bit of planning to get to an end result. Ask her how she would plan the most complicated meal she can make and what would be the steps to get from the idea to the actual meal. Relate that to planning a budget (really the same thing - making sure you have money for everything vs making sure you have all the ingredients for the meal). Same with doing laundry. Teach her that she already has the skills - she just missed the step how what she already knows translates to everything around her. It takes time, patience, consistency, and support - because not only will you be dealing with the steps she's missed, you'll also be dealing with the internal debate she is having in her own head that she "can't" do this because she's "stupid". It really is more than just steps she's missing, it's also dealing with teaching her to be confident in her own skills. I'm so proud of how far OSD has come with the help we've been giving her and I know you'll see the same thing in GW2.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Feb 28, 2014 22:21:46 GMT -5
I have faith in you in helping GW2! I would bet that she has been told many times that she is stupid many, many times and that is why she believes it.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Feb 28, 2014 23:23:38 GMT -5
Using her love of cooking would be a good way to implement increasing her math skills.
By following or adjusting a recipe, she could learn to use measurements (more specifically fractions) to learn. How many tablespoons in 1/4 cup - or how many ounces in a cup - using measuring cups/spoons to learn the mathematics and help make it make sense to her.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2014 20:29:01 GMT -5
Well GW2 has moved out. She is moving in with her uncle, her father's brother. Both sides of her family have been trying to get her to move in with them for the last few months and she finally found one she thinks she can live with. She told me Thursday that she was thinking about going to stay with him for a month. When I told her I would deduct some money for food but she would still have to pay the rent if she expected me to hold the room she decided to move out. Actually according to GW1 she was actually moving out she just didn't want to move her stuff yet. Apparently she thinks she can live elsewhere for free. It feels weird but this is the nature of it with foster kids. Thank goodness she got hooked up with some life coaching counseling that will meet with her 28 hours a week. Well, I gave her a safe place for 7 months. My part is done. For now anyway.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 1, 2014 20:56:17 GMT -5
I'm sorry, later. I know you know you did the very best you could to help the girl. Hopefully, this decision of hers won't turn out badly. If it does, it's none of your doing. You've provided her with some life skills and care. She's had the opportunity to learn how life is lived, and how one makes the best of things. Now, it's up to her. Hugs, hon. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2014 21:53:00 GMT -5
Thanks mmhmm. I'm just trying to get it through my head that this is the nature of the beast. The kids aren't here permanently. GW1 has been reassuring me that I am great, that is why she stays
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Mar 1, 2014 22:44:36 GMT -5
I hope her relatives don't take advantage of her and her "paycheck" that she has coming in each month.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 1, 2014 22:59:34 GMT -5
I'm sorry, later. I know you know you did the very best you could to help the girl. Hopefully, this decision of hers won't turn out badly. If it does, it's none of your doing. You've provided her with some life skills and care. She's had the opportunity to learn how life is lived, and how one makes the best of things. Now, it's up to her. Hugs, hon. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. Yeah that.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Mar 2, 2014 8:26:00 GMT -5
Thanks mmhmm. I'm just trying to get it through my head that this is the nature of the beast. The kids aren't here permanently. GW1 has been reassuring me that I am great, that is why she stays You are doing a Wonderful job!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 12:34:53 GMT -5
I'm sorry Later. I too think you are doing a wonderful job.
Like Sharon said, I hope the relatives aren't wanting her for her "paycheck".
I probably would have been tempted to tell her I'd keep her room for her for one month, but objectively, it probably wouldn't have been a good idea.
Maybe with the older girls, moving along more quickly is more the rule, and GW1 is the exception.
Hugs to you Later.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 20:27:40 GMT -5
I need to start with the disclaimer that GW2 and I did not have a big fight, she did not have to move out and the only things I know of that she is mad at me for are having curfews, collecting room and board and not being comfortable leaving her here alone for 2 weeks while GW1 and I go to Asia. She was invited to Asia with us on my dime and declined because she doesn't like flying and I gave her the option of having one of her friends stay with her while we were gone. This was her post on Facebook tonight "I just love not having a place to stay or live why do the worst things happen to me , i wish I had a supportive family that's there for me when I need them". She has unfriended GW1 and I so we can't comment. GW1 texted her anyway and told her that she did this to herself, she didn't have to move. I'm going to try to keep track of her and see how it goes.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 2, 2014 20:30:23 GMT -5
Thanks mmhmm. I'm just trying to get it through my head that this is the nature of the beast. The kids aren't here permanently. GW1 has been reassuring me that I am great, that is why she stays You are doing a Wonderful job! Heaps of blessings on GW1! I don't know I could do what you do, but I'm sure glad there are people like you who can!
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 2, 2014 20:33:39 GMT -5
I need to start with the disclaimer that GW2 and I did not have a big fight, she did not have to move out and the only things I know of that she is mad at me for are having curfews, collecting room and board and not being comfortable leaving her here alone for 2 weeks while GW1 and I go to Asia. She was invited to Asia with us on my dime and declined because she doesn't like flying and I gave her the option of having one of her friends stay with her while we were gone. This was her post on Facebook tonight "I just love not having a place to stay or live why do the worst things happen to me , i wish I had a supportive family that's there for me when I need them". She has unfriended GW1 and I so we can't comment. GW1 texted her anyway and told her that she did this to herself, she didn't have to move. I'm going to try to keep track of her and see how it goes. Oh, dear. Looks like GW2 wants to have a Pity Party. I'm sorry she doesn't have a decent family of her own, as well, but the fact is ... she doesn't. That's what she's doing in foster care, I'd think. It would do her a world of good to turn her statement around. There's a family who cares for her and would have been so happy if SHE had been there for THEM. Instead, she's unfriended the two people who tried to give her what she says she wishes for. This young lady has a climb ahead of her to get out of the mess she's making for herself, I'm afraid.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 20:53:33 GMT -5
That's what I'm afraid of mmhmm. One thing is that GW1 is watching this happen upclose and making a list of all the things she's not going to do.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 2, 2014 21:01:47 GMT -5
Im sorry, later. You did what you could. Unfortunately, she's 18, and 18 your olds don't have the wisdom and experience to make good decisions. Especially when they've come from dysfunction.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Mar 2, 2014 21:15:50 GMT -5
I'm sorry Later. (((((hugs)))))
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 21:20:35 GMT -5
She still has a worker and she is getting life skills support in the form of 28 hours with a worker a week. Here's hoping she doesn't throw that away.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Mar 2, 2014 21:25:01 GMT -5
That's what I'm afraid of mmhmm. One thing is that GW1 is watching this happen upclose and making a list of all the things she's not going to do. That's a good thing! It's a shame GW2's problems are what they are, but if GW1 learns from it and develops good coping skills and the ability to think through her decisions before she launches herself, something positive has resulted.
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KaraBoo
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Post by KaraBoo on Mar 2, 2014 21:39:53 GMT -5
Ugh! I'm so sorry Later - I know it hurts you...even if it is "the nature" of foster care.
Fingers crossed that GW2 is able to take what she's learned from you and expand on it.
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