mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Sept 5, 2013 21:27:13 GMT -5
Yes, it is. I'm glad things seem to be progressing well. Good luck with the job search!
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Sept 5, 2013 21:27:53 GMT -5
les - Just wanted to give you ((((((hugs)))))). Good luck with your job search!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 6, 2013 10:14:02 GMT -5
Good luck with the job search Les!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 6, 2013 10:16:33 GMT -5
les - Just wanted to give you ((((((hugs)))))). Good luck with your job search!
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les63
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Post by les63 on Sept 24, 2013 20:52:39 GMT -5
Once again an update. DH is on a new drug. He is not consistent taking it. Of course not. Why the heck would he have any reason to getting better? Likes staying in bed all day except to bug me about going outside to smoke. Ask about the bills which I have been on top of for the last three months. Do I sound bitter? You betcha.
Giving him until December to get himself together. No shower since last Tuesday. I'm getting to the point where I don't give a flying you know what. I just don't think he wants to get better.
I would have left him after I found out about the months long affair if both my sons were typical. I feel he knows this and thinks he has me trapped. I feel so depressed lately and my routine is off and I haven't been myself for months.
Just let me rant please. It makes me feel better.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Sept 24, 2013 21:06:30 GMT -5
Yes just rant away hon.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Sept 24, 2013 21:12:20 GMT -5
<HUGS> Rant away! That's what we're here for. And, in time, make sure you're taking care of yourself.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Sept 24, 2013 21:53:17 GMT -5
<HUGS> Rant away! That's what we're here for. And, in time, make sure you're taking care of yourself.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Sept 24, 2013 22:10:00 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. Rant anytime!
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Sept 25, 2013 7:59:51 GMT -5
Reply #215, I like that you said 'THINKS he has you trapped'. You have got the right attitude. Stay strong.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2013 8:23:36 GMT -5
You go ahead and rant away! We're happy to be your sounding board!!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 25, 2013 8:32:47 GMT -5
You go ahead and rant away! We're happy to be your sounding board!!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 25, 2013 8:36:31 GMT -5
Reply #215, I like that you said 'THINKS he has you trapped'. You have got the right attitude. Stay strong. Let him keep thinking that way. Happyscooter is right. You do have the right attitude. Keep to your decision about the December deadline; life is too short to live the way you are living.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Sept 25, 2013 8:44:52 GMT -5
I hope everything works out. Even if you do decide to leave your DH one would hope to seem him get better. Hang in there. Good luck with the job search.
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les63
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Post by les63 on Oct 10, 2013 18:31:13 GMT -5
What a life; just so down lately. The kids are doing great for the most part. Older son is doing real good. Has a group of kids to play at the HS talent show in December. They're going to play Fallout Boys version of Michael Jackson's Beat It. Noah is having up and down days at BOCES. He went after the OT today. ? I hate it when he gets upset with someone and gets aggressive. Autism sucks. DH went to his Dr's appt by himself on Tuesday. He wanted to start marriage counseling. Nope, uh uh. Been there done that. I told him he needs to figure out what is in his head first. What HE wants. Our last marriage counseling was a joke. I think we've been here for a year now. Nonstop roller coaster ride, bleh. The kids have off for the next four days. Older son wants to see the movie Captain Phillips tomorrow. Bring it up to DH and he has a cow. He sleeps all day except to get up and eat and smoke. I'm taking care of Everything. He just does'nt want to watch Noah for two hours. He won't be able to lay down. Grrrrrr. ?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2013 18:53:30 GMT -5
Les, I checked when you first started this thread. It was May 26, so, nearly five months ago.
I think you have given it your best shot. I don't think you should make any definitive decisions yet if you are not comfortable doing so, but if nearly 5 months later, your DH is still sleeping all day and refusing to watch your son for just 2h, I think it's probably wise to at least think about an exit plan.
Also, since your boys are doing so well, I can't help but wonder whether maybe it's because DH is "out of it" these days, and only you are actively dealing with them.
Leaving will bring about a whole new set of issues, but maybe it's what you need to do. I don't know, but in your heart, maybe you do.
Good luck. We are all rooting for you and your boys!
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Oct 10, 2013 18:54:39 GMT -5
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les63
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Post by les63 on Oct 10, 2013 20:50:10 GMT -5
I just want to explain a bit more ( last post from my phone; so not used to that). DH is on quite a pharmacy of drugs. He does want to stay in bed most of the day and night. Except when he steps outside to smoke or graze from the pantry or refrigerator. He did go to his appt on Tuesday. First time out of the house on his own since July. Big step I agree. I think he knew if he didn't go I would have been totally pissed. His hygiene still sucks. He took a shower on Tuesday before his appt. It had been two weeks. I took the opportunity to strip the bed after he was gone and plug a freshner thingie in an outlet in his room. We don't sleep together. Haven't in a long time. He used to snore (sleep apnea), now has a machine for that and he moves a lot in his sleep. I might have other news upcoming. I have a small lump on the back of my neck on the left side. Older son can feel it but DH can't. I can. I press on that side and it hurts and the right side if pressed does not. I am sure it is probably a gland that maybe is upset for whatever? My neck has been stiff and cranky lately but I blame it on the way I sleep some nights. Sometimes I tend to curl up in a fetal position. It is on the back a bit left of the spinal cord. It could nothing. Or what if? I've always said I didn't want to live forever, maybe God is listening....I dunno.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Oct 10, 2013 21:06:46 GMT -5
les - Good luck with whatever you decided to do with your DH and your marriage. Please get the lump checked. Most importantly, you need to take care of yourself, which includes the lump on your neck. Hopefully it's nothing major, but you don't anything until you get it checked out. Your boys need you! Sending you tons of virtual (((((hugs))))).
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Oct 10, 2013 21:16:47 GMT -5
Your son's need you, get the lump checked. Please.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Oct 10, 2013 21:21:12 GMT -5
les - Good luck with whatever you decided to do with your DH and your marriage. Please get the lump checked. Most importantly, you need to take care of yourself, which includes the lump on your neck. Hopefully it's nothing major, but you don't anything until you get it checked out. Your boys need you! Sending you tons of virtual (((((hugs))))).
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les63
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Post by les63 on Oct 10, 2013 21:32:59 GMT -5
Thank you for the positive posts. I know I need to get myself checked out. Scares the damn daylights out of me. I guess sometimes I need someone to hold my hand. I don't have anyone like that at the moment. Only by phone; my parents live 2 1/2 hours away. Life can throw some curves sometimes. A mixed up mental husband and a 9 year old with nonverbal classic autism. And you know what? There is a reason for all this. My faith in God has never wavered.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Oct 10, 2013 21:33:59 GMT -5
You have several people holding your hand virtually.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Oct 10, 2013 21:42:08 GMT -5
Sending <HUGS> and another hand to hold.
Definitely get that lump checked out. If it's nothing bad, then praise God. If it could be a problem, then you've caught it early. Could your parents help out with the kids if you needed a bit of surgery?
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Oct 11, 2013 5:53:03 GMT -5
les, get it checked. now. you cannot take care of anyone else if your health is not good. remember what the flight attendants say on the airplane about the oxygen.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Oct 11, 2013 14:40:49 GMT -5
Take care of yourself. Your kids love you.
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les63
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Post by les63 on Oct 22, 2013 19:14:07 GMT -5
Arghhhhhhhhh! I hate my life!!!!!!!!! There, I feel better.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Oct 22, 2013 20:33:17 GMT -5
les63 - Don't know what's going on, but I'm sending you tons of cyber hugs for you.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Oct 22, 2013 23:02:21 GMT -5
les63 - Don't know what's going on, but I'm sending you tons of cyber hugs for you. Well said Taz
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2013 23:58:24 GMT -5
No kidding les, you have more challenges than most ever face. Good Luck & Best Wishes for a good outcome for you and the kids.
Hope you got your neck thing checked out. If it is an abcess, you want it dealt with when antibiotics can still stop it in its tracks.
Wishing you the best & hope you can find a workable exit plan.
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