mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Jul 27, 2013 21:57:02 GMT -5
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jul 28, 2013 3:36:59 GMT -5
Thanks for the update. Hopefully your DH will soon get his meds adjusted to the right levels and he will start feeling more like his old self.
Sent from my MB855 using proboards
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les63
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Post by les63 on Aug 20, 2013 21:32:04 GMT -5
Update. Doctor's appointment today. Upping the Risperidone to 3 mg. The doctor also added an anxiety med to the mix. I'm feeling cross eyed at the moment. Lord help me. Next month when Noah starts school I'm going to start putting in applications. Haven't worked for 12 years. Should be interesting. My moods are up and down. I feel sometimes that if he hadn't cheated on me back in Washington state and hadn't kept up the communication with her until January of this year I might feel differently with his breakdown. I am starting to feel better about myself and I'm going to be fifty tomorrow. According to my 16 year old son I look like I'm 43. I'm fit, I look nice every day and I guess I should do a happy dance. DH won't leave the house on his own yet. So, I don't expect even a birthday card. Didn't get a Mother's day card, Anniversary card. I'm sorry if I sound bitter. I'm just venting now, it's like living with a 2 year old. I'm not happy. I'm doing what I can. I just don't know if I have the forgiveness deep down. This is so hard. As an aside: Noah did awesome at the BOCES Summer school. I can't wait until he starts school next month. I think he will do great there and they will get the best potential out of him.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 20, 2013 22:04:39 GMT -5
Happy birthday les! Also, great compliment from your 16 year old. It's okay if you sound bitter. I don't blame you. It's normal. Great that Noah did awesome at his summer school. I wish him well when school starts next month. Good luck with everything. When the need arises, vent away. It does help.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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♡ ♡ BᏋՆᎥᏋᏉᏋ ♡ ♡
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Aug 20, 2013 22:18:47 GMT -5
Vent away. And A VERY Happy Pre-Birthday from me. You also have an awesome 16 y/o to let you know you still rock.
(As a side-note, since your DH hasn't moved out, I sure hope you're not still sharing a bed (or even room) with him after what he's done.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Aug 20, 2013 23:16:02 GMT -5
Have a wonderful Birthday Les, I wish you all the best hon.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 20, 2013 23:22:31 GMT -5
Glad to read the update, Les. I can only imagine what you must be going through emotionally. I truly admire your courage, but don't let it drag you down. Sometimes, we've just got to put ourselves first. If we don't, there's nobody to pick up the pieces.
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Cass
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Post by Cass on Aug 21, 2013 8:18:24 GMT -5
Happy Birthday Les
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 21, 2013 8:24:45 GMT -5
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 21, 2013 9:38:24 GMT -5
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Aug 21, 2013 11:30:10 GMT -5
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 21, 2013 11:34:02 GMT -5
Happy Birthday Les!!!
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 21, 2013 11:35:19 GMT -5
Happy birthday, Les. I hope this day is an easy one for you, and that you can enjoy it. It's your day! Let it shine!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Aug 21, 2013 11:52:35 GMT -5
Happy birthday Les! Just keep doing what you need to do for yourself and the kids.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Aug 21, 2013 14:39:38 GMT -5
My moods are up and down. I feel sometimes that if he hadn't cheated on me back in Washington state and hadn't kept up the communication with her until January of this year I might feel differently with his breakdown. I'm sure you would feel differently. A person can only take so much and he had already put you through the ringer with his bad decisions before the breakdown occurred. Happy Bday!!
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Icelandic Woman
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Post by Icelandic Woman on Aug 21, 2013 14:44:23 GMT -5
Happy Birthday Les!!! I wish you all the best and hope that things get better for you. Have a Fantabulous Day!!!
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les63
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Post by les63 on Aug 21, 2013 20:44:39 GMT -5
Thank you all for the great birthday greetings!! It was low key. I went out with my 16 year old and did some errands. We had great steaks and baked potatoes for dinner. I opted out on cake and ice cream. I'm truly trying to handle all this. But, everyone has their pushing point. Tomorrow I'm going to take Noah for a ride. He hasn't been out the house since Saturday and he is getting antsy. Usually it is Noah and my sixteen year old son on the drive. DH said he would go with us last Saturday but backed out at the last minute. Maybe he will ride with us tomorrow. Thank you all again for your birthday greetings. It really made my day.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on Aug 21, 2013 20:49:59 GMT -5
Happy Birthday Les! Thanks for checking in with us. I really hope your next year goes well for you & your kids!
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Aug 22, 2013 19:36:24 GMT -5
Happy birthday, Les. I haven't been reading the board as much as I might lately, so I missed your birthday by one day, I think. But anyway, hope things are getting better gradually, and that you had a good birthday. And, a good ride with Noah.
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les63
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Post by les63 on Aug 29, 2013 21:55:11 GMT -5
Update. Damn me, maybe I'm just not pushy enough or maybe I just don't care that much anymore. DH didn't have an apt this week. Not until 9/3. Once Noah is in school I'm going to see a shrink. I have too much inside and no closure. My husband just wants to sweep everything under the rug. Just forget about it. Like it never happened. Like why did I cheat on you? I'm not unhappy, that's not what happened, etc, etc. Are you freaking kidding me? Spouses cheat when they're not f'ing happy! WTF? Between that and what the hell with his snapping in his brain. I so want the man I fell in love with to be there again. How long do I wait? I'm losing my marbles along the way. I just want to be happy.
Tomorrow we're going to the NY State Fair in Syracuse. Noah will be taken care of by DH's cousin. She is great with Noah and he likes her a lot. Being anal me I will have everything covered and down before she gets here.
We're going to a concert there, Fall Out Boy.
Man, reading back I sound like such a bitch. I just think since Noah's autism diagnosis DH has been disconnected. And as he has gotten older it has gone to hell in a hand basket. Some guys just can't handle this shit.
Once again, thanks for letting me vent. Starting next week the job searching begins.
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Aug 29, 2013 21:59:23 GMT -5
Vent away - I hope it helps. Have a great time at the fair, and good luck with the job search.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 30, 2013 9:38:51 GMT -5
You don't sound like a bitch, you sound like someone near the end of their rope, trying damn hard to hold on. Have a great time at the fair and good luck with everything!
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Sept 1, 2013 2:10:33 GMT -5
I agree - you do not sound like a bitch at all but like someone who is so busy surviving that there is nothing left for you - I know that feeling well - as if all one does is give and take care of everyone else.
Will write more tomorrow when I am more rested but just wanted to send my love and support tonight - wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with you!
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Sept 1, 2013 15:53:09 GMT -5
You're not a bitch. You need a release, whether it's a day at the fair or an hour in a shrink's chair. Do what you need to do. If DH wants to go on pretending, or cannot deal with it, then step away and work things on your own. You matter. The kids matter. Life matters. At some point, you may have to let go of the lifeline and move away. You never forget and you never stop loving, of course. But sometimes, saving what you can, and who you can, is what takes precedence.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Sept 1, 2013 17:09:26 GMT -5
Quite simply your no bitch, just a woman who has had the rug called life pulled out from under her. He is in serious denial, your not. Look after yourself and your sons.
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les63
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Post by les63 on Sept 2, 2013 21:38:31 GMT -5
Love you guys for putting up with me! The concert was great. We were close, row 15. I always feel sorry for the opening band. They were good, Four Year Strong. They just know that most of the audience is waiting for the headliner. Unfortunately, it started to rain after the first 7 songs with Fall Out Boy. So here I was sitting down hunkered under my umbrella. Overall it was a great concert, Fall Out Boy is great live. I'll post a you tube video of them live this year below. DH wasn't too bad. Tomorrow is his next Dr's appointment. Oooh, boy. Not the State Fair but they sounded the same. Patrick Stump (lead singer) is a cutie.
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happyscooter
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Post by happyscooter on Sept 3, 2013 6:36:11 GMT -5
Hang in there. Today is appt day. Hopefully things will go well.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 3, 2013 9:25:08 GMT -5
Oh Les, definetely seek out a shrink for yourself. You're not a bitch, you've tolerated A LOT. You need TLC just as much as your husband does. Since he can't provide it, please seek someone who can.
You can't do everything yourself. Your DH needs to meet you at least half way. Definetly talk it out with a professional. NOBODY expects you to fix the world and wouldn't blame you one bit for saying enough.
I would have turned tail and ran a long time ago to be honest. You're an amazing person for trying to see this thru with your DH.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Sept 3, 2013 9:28:57 GMT -5
I would have run with drama.
Your DH has mental health issues, but he needs to understand things aren't the same.
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les63
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Post by les63 on Sept 5, 2013 21:22:50 GMT -5
Update. Appointment went well on Tuesday. Dr upped his Risperidone to the max. Also the Cogentin (sp), this is the side effect med. Next appt will be on the 17th. Hopefully, there will be some improvement to him being anxious and having to rock back and forth and just want to sleep on and off all day. If this doesn't work, probably on to another drug I guess.<br><br>Noah started school today. Seemed to go well. He hates having to get off the bus at school sometimes and that wigs out the driver (new one) and the aides on the bus (new ones too). He has been off for over two weeks, plus he was picked up by a big bus. I hate those. The opening is narrower, more steps, and more cramped on the inside compared to the smaller buses. Can't do anything about it, Noah will just have to adjust. Mommy will just have to worry. <img width="18" height="18" alt=" " src="http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png" text=" "> I'm good at that. <br><br>Thank God for my kids. Right now they are the only things in the house that make me happy. Give me laughs. Life is too short not to laugh. I would be a lot more miserable without them. <br><br>I haven't started the job search yet. So terrified about that. Thinking about applying online to the local Target store tomorrow. I need to start somewhere.<br><br>Thank you all again for your support. It is very appreciated!
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