zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 14:28:50 GMT -5
Europeans do it all the time.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 1, 2012 14:30:38 GMT -5
IF what I saw waitressing is any indication. .. yes Supernanny is very real.
There were nights when I wanted to schedule a tubal ligation for the next day. Personal favorite are the kids that started flinging cheese shakers across the room while the adults with them did nothing to stop them.
Then there are the kids that played hide and go seek behind a table full of other customers. One kid actually grabbed the the back of the man's shirt! Mother did nothing to stop them.
Then there are the parents sat and drank while the kids ran around in our parking lot unsupervised and wanted ME to go tell them to stop.
Yeah.. .Supernanny is real.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 1, 2012 14:31:40 GMT -5
I didn't see it GEL, but I've met kids like some you see on there.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Nov 1, 2012 14:34:26 GMT -5
I guess I shouldn't have laughed then. This poor mom. She had 5 kids - four boys and a baby girl. She'd put one boy in bed and the three others would pop out and run out of the room. Catch another one - the other three take off. It was hysterical cause I thought it was fake.
Is it illegal to tie your kids to the bed?
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Nov 1, 2012 14:35:40 GMT -5
And then Supernanny asks her how long this goes on every night. The mom said, "Until I get tired and just give up and go to bed."
It was like a greased-pig catching contest.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 1, 2012 14:36:57 GMT -5
When I was married we had friends who had children come to visit us. The kids were in our medicine cabinet, standing on kitchen counters and doing other things I didn't allow. The parents sat visiting my ex while I keep the kids out of my things. We informed our friends they were welcome to come visit but the children weren't welcome.
I will do what needs done to prevent the children from harming themselves, animals or property worth more than a few cents like cars. I took my kitten away from my oldest niece who was looking at it by holding it up by the tail. She was only allowed near the kitten if someone had it and helped her pet it, she was a baby but the kitten has rights too.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 14:37:29 GMT -5
I'd open up a can of whoopass on kids pulling that crap. Usually some well placed swats end that nonsense. I had a run into the streeter and I tried all sorts of talk and then I whipped his diaper clad bottom all the way up the driveway and up the stairs to his bed. Never happened again.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 14:46:47 GMT -5
I so want to say something about zib's last comment. But I'm going to . I think I have gutter mind today.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 1, 2012 14:50:03 GMT -5
You're not the only one who had to let it go kgb
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 1, 2012 14:53:25 GMT -5
I can't even ignore my dog quietly whining outside my bedroom door at 5:45 am if she needs to go potty and you are able to ignore the yelling of a not even 2 year old and just what? go back to sleep? I gotta call BS on that. With my dog I'm worried she'll pee on the floor. But you are apparently fine ignoring what you describe as a high maintenance kid that gets into everything and is practically the reincarnation of Harry Freaking Houdini and while you roll over and go back to sleep? You are braver than I would be.
ETA- this comment was directed at Doxie's claim that they just leave the boy to his own devices in his room if he wakes up earlier than they want to.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 15:01:47 GMT -5
I don't believe it at all. Her kids run the roost while she lets man-child do whatever he wants as well. Yes, I know the talk phrase wasn't the best I could come up with but it got the point across. I tried all kinds of non violent ideas and then got jiggy with his bottom and it stopped. My first fail as a liberal touchy feely parent. Wasn't my last.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 15:03:11 GMT -5
The daughters dance lessons are a make up for the life she has to live in that household. I'm so sorry the dad decided to bow out. That little girl needed some sanity and I had hoped he gave it. Guess not.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 15:05:33 GMT -5
I do hate when we go somewhere with other kids who do not behave because it is extra hard to keep your kid under control when they see other kids doing whatever they want.
We were at toddler gymnastics when DD was 18 months old. She wanted to go on this track trampoline thing. I told her, "No. It's not time for that yet. You have to wait until the teacher says we're allowed to go on it." Five minutes later some mom started letting her daughter bounce all over this thing. My DD starting crying. I wouldn't let her on it because it wasn't time. I also felt bad because she was 18 months old and really couldn't comprehend why another kid was on it and she couldn't be.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 1, 2012 15:09:40 GMT -5
I do hate when we go somewhere with other kids who do not behave because it is extra hard to keep your kid under control when they see other kids doing whatever they want
No kidding. DH's nephew runs amok and then Gwen wants to do it.
Then my MIL gets all hyper because now the kids are both running around wild.
I can't stand being over there when DH's nephew is around. I want to smack him and his smart little mouth. I also can't stand how hyper Gwen becomes every time he is around. She doesn't understand why she can't behave like that too.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 15:12:01 GMT -5
I didn't allow my kids to be around EXs nephews because of their behavior. We also stopped going out to restaurants as a clan with them because the other diners would glare at us and it wasn't our kids running amok. But ours sure wanted to.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 1, 2012 15:31:24 GMT -5
My great aunt took her grand daughter and GGson out to eat. Boy in high chair and placed an order getting him what he wanted. He saw another kid get something and changed his mind and threw a tantram. GGM said I don't have to put up with this and went to the car. So mother and son had to miss a meal too and go home. Next day they went out again since they were on vacation and GGS turns to GGM and said "good ,huh". He knew GGM didn't put up with stuff mom did so it was be good or go home.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Nov 1, 2012 16:15:22 GMT -5
Years ago Dh and I stopped at a fast food joint on the drive over from our house to my Il law's house on Christmas Eve.
The place was packed, the line at the register was long, and in that line was a man and woman with three kids, two boys and a girl. I would guess the boys were 5 and 7.
The boys spent the entire time their parents were waiting in line racing around the restaurant, trying to peel the Christmas decorations off the windows and doors, messing with the napkin holders/ketchup dispensers, chasing each other, and squealing.
Occasionally the mom would snag one of them as they raced by, put her hands on his head to make him look at her, and say very loudly "You are making me very unhappy." Then she'd let him go and he'd race away. Had 0 impact on the kid's behavior. Dad did absolutely nothing at all.
It was the most bizarre thing. I think it must have been something she read in some touchy feely parenting book. Or maybe she was just an idiot.
I really wanted to take her to the side and tell her "Sister, they don't give a shit if you're unhappy. You need to make THEM unhappy when they misbehave."
Personally, if those kids were mine, I would have grabbed them by the scruffs of their necks and hauled their asses out to the car and they could go without dinner. Plus it would have been a long loooong time before they saw the inside of another restaurant.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 1, 2012 16:23:07 GMT -5
My mom loves the "couch parents". The ones that sit on the couch and just yell/talk to the kids from tehre. They never get up and remove them from something they shouldn't be in, etc. I dealt with the child of one of those at a recent baby shower. Kid was harassing everyone she could get her hands on. Tried to take both my food and my drink. I was pouring a drink and she reached for my plate and after I put it out of her reach and said it was mine, she stood there and waited on me to finish pouring my drink and tried to take it too. I think she was about 2 and obviously they're not perfectly behaved but you should be aware of that fact and keeping up with the kid. Mom was on the couch.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Nov 1, 2012 16:28:40 GMT -5
My mom loves the "couch parents". The ones that sit on the couch and just yell/talk to the kids from tehre. They never get up and remove them from something they shouldn't be in, etc. Ha! I have neighbors like that. Kid is doing something he shouldn't & Mom goes "Ben, don't do that"..."Ben put that down"..."Ben, stop it"...."Ben, no"...this will go on for about 5 minutes until finally "DH, do something", to which the Dad goes "BEEENNNNNN!!!!" & then the kid runs off scared. I've seen this happen over & over in their house & can't help but wonder why the mom doesn't do anything besides talk. It isn't that hard to get up & take away a toy or whatnot. None of their kids listen to her at all & she always gets frustrated. But, when they know there is no consequence for ignoring her, then why listen?
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Nov 1, 2012 16:36:10 GMT -5
Weeelllll, according to "mommies" in my group and 500 different blogs that they have read as their "research" - kids will just naturally become wonderful and generous people if they are not forced. Bc if they are forced and I quote: I believe that forcing children to please others causes some problems. For example, instead of creating generous people it creates obligated people. Instead of creating genuine people it creates mechanical people. Instead of creating organic emotion it creates taught reaction.
Yeah.... I had to stop after that, otherwise I would have probably be kicked out.....
Lena
P.S. I am also so tired of hearing the word "organic" every time I turn, that I was ready to puke all-together
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Nov 1, 2012 16:38:23 GMT -5
My mom loves the "couch parents". The ones that sit on the couch and just yell/talk to the kids from tehre. I do this to get my son out of bed in the morning. It's way worse than me going in to wake him up. DH said this morning that it even annoys him, but it's effective.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Nov 1, 2012 16:39:57 GMT -5
kids will just naturally become wonderful and generous people if they are not forced. Yeah.... I had to stop after that, otherwise I would have probably be kicked out..... oh crap- the "unschooling" of behavior...
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Driftr
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Post by Driftr on Nov 1, 2012 16:45:57 GMT -5
Sorry I'm late and not reading the 7 pages to see if this is an answer I can 'yeah that' to.
If your kids are at my house and you're not there, they'll be disciplined the same as mine. Just as I expect mine are when they're at your house. If we're all out together your kids are your problem until they hurt one of mine or break something of mine. Then it's our problem.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 16:52:40 GMT -5
I can't even ignore my dog quietly whining outside my bedroom door at 5:45 am if she needs to go potty and you are able to ignore the yelling of a not even 2 year old and just what? go back to sleep? I gotta call BS on that. With my dog I'm worried she'll pee on the floor. But you are apparently fine ignoring what you describe as a high maintenance kid that gets into everything and is practically the reincarnation of Harry Freaking Houdini and while you roll over and go back to sleep? You are braver than I would be. ETA- this comment was directed at Doxie's claim that they just leave the boy to his own devices in his room if he wakes up earlier than they want to. His room is baby proof and he cant get out of his room. He plays in his room until we get him, around 7.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 1, 2012 16:57:03 GMT -5
So I have a 'sharing' question. Last night we went trick or treating with a group of toddlers and parents. We did a block, then stopped back into the house so kids could use the bathroom, fix wardrobe malfunctions, etc. I had to change ds shirt, and another little girl picked up his glow stick (all the kids had them) and wanted to take his. She had one, but apparently liked his color better. Ds did not want to trade, and her dad was making her give it back to us anyway. But I was a bit torn as I really would have liked ds to swap with her, but the ultimate goal of the night was to avoid melt downs so we just went with it.
I definitely expect him to understand how to share, but at the same time he shouldn't have to give up 'his' things either. So what should I have done?
He's very good at sharing with us, but doesn't get a lot of time with other kids so its always isolated incidents that we're trying to gauge his social skills with.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Nov 1, 2012 17:10:36 GMT -5
I definitely expect him to understand how to share, but at the same time he shouldn't have to give up 'his' things either. So what should I have done? I really don't have an answer, but I don't think forced sharing is always good. If DD is playing with a toy that we've had for years & all of a sudden DS really wants it, then I don't make her share instantly. I tell him that he can either find a toy she wants & trade or wait until she is done with her turn. I think always forcing a kid to share just because another kid wants to play teaches the other kid all they have to do is whine & they will get what they want. If everytime DD was holding a toy that suddenly DS wanted & I made her share, then that seems like it sends a bad message to both kids.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Nov 1, 2012 17:46:31 GMT -5
Rae, I don't see it as him not wanting to "share", so I would have been 100% OK with him keeping his thing.
I can understand the concept of not forcing to share in theory, but in practice, when it comes to 3-4-5 yr olds it's not always that black and white. I tell my kiddos all the time - you don't HAVE to share, but don't be surprised if A) the other kid doesn't want to play with you anymore and 2) he won't share his stuff with you. The problem is that at that age, I think those concepts are not easily grasped. I also don't subscribe to the idea that if you don't make/explain, etc to a child about sharing that he will automatically will grow up a great and generous person. So, I think it really needs to be taken case-by-case vs just adopting a "I don't force to share" mentality.
As far as discipline - I prefer a "natural consequences" vs "punitive" approach, but again, it's not always possible. I am not going to wait for my 2.5 yr old to get electrocuted or burn before he stops touching outlets or a stove.
Lena
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maraqxa
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Post by maraqxa on Nov 1, 2012 19:01:19 GMT -5
And then you wonder why this world is so f&j@ed up? When did we become this over sensitive society that we get pussed if someone disciplines our child. Like someone says it does take a village to raise a child. It is really bad when we would let just kids do the wrong things because we don't want to upset the parent. And I wonder are we all in our 30's or over screwed up? Because back then there werent so many studies that would tell you how to raise kids so Im thinking our parents did a crappy job. I don't think the problem is how we were raised. Our parents didn't have the steady stream of parenting advice that is permeating society these days, so they raised their kids as THEY saw fit. I think the overload of information is making parents wishy-washy! We worry too much about the stupidest details!! Back then it was make sure your kids eat their veggies. These days they need to be organic, locally grown or else you're a failure. The only thing these books, magazines and blogs do is make someone believe that there's some kind of parenting ideal to be reached and as everyone knows, parenting is an imperfect process. I dont think you got my sarcasm. I agree with everything you said.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 19:19:48 GMT -5
Europeans do it all the time.
Leave napping babies at home alone? Yes, there are idiots in Europe too. The US doesn't have a monopoly on idiots. But it's not exactly par for the course here, thank goodness.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 19:29:32 GMT -5
Mid one of my best friend's kids were MONSTERS. I did my best to avoid them but sometimes I couldn't.
I have an antique rocking chair that I care a great deal about. No kids allowed. Her son sat in it, rocked it as fast as he could, broke it. Bad enough. But then he tried to get DD to say SHE did it. She came a runnin' and told me the truth. I raised my voice at the kid, told him there were two big couches plus another easy chair, so could he please tell me why he sat in the rocking chair despite the fact that I told him very clearly that NO kids were allowed to sit in it? At that point my friend got huffy, started yelling at me, and they all left.
I think we didn't speak for at least two months, she finally called and apologized. I feel sorry for her, she tried to impose limits and her DH always overrode them. I had tried to make sure to avoid her kids as much as possible before that (except for a BBQ in the summer, so they'd be outside) but I sure as heck avoided them like the plague after that episode. She'd always invite us with DD and DS3, I'd always either refuse or get a babysitter, because I did NOT want to reciprocate.
I agree with the others, like it or not, this IS the sort of thing that destroys, or limits, adult friendships. My friend and I have lunch together sometimes, or she'll come over for tea on her work break, or a drink after work (I'm on her way home). We have certain traditions, like going shopping together at Xmas and bringing each other things we want from the UK. We speak on the phone several times a week. But we haven't done "family" stuff together for YEARS. I was shocked that one of her kids turned up (uninvited) to DS3's Bar Mitzvah last year but he was lovely and it went well and I'm glad he did. They are 18 and 20 now.
Her boys have basically turned out OK. Not what I would wish for my kids, but OK. Sometimes now they invite themselves over when their parents are here to say hi and say hello to my kids, and they always behave. But, I would never want my kids to be close to them and I'm glad they are not, and I'm sure that my attitude when they were all little and growing up ensured that.
The assumption is always that if you have close friends with little kids and you have little kids, they can play together. Sometimes, you just don't want that. And it's generally easier to let the friendship die than to explain why you're happy to see your friend but you really don't want your little *angel* hanging out with their little *devil*.
I am glad that I managed to "redirect" the friendship. I'm sure my friend was hurt at the time because she's not stupid and she knew I couldn't stand to be around her monstrous boys (few people could. She had another friend actually sue her for damage to her house.) Plus, nobody can stand her husband either. It's hard to be her, but hey, although I really love her as a friend, I like to see HER. I didn't make or raise her boys, and I certainly did NOT choose to marry her husband. LOL.
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