zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 12:59:57 GMT -5
It's more fun to shoot him. Just sayin'.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2012 13:00:28 GMT -5
whenever someone praises him, his face completely lights up. He is very inquisitive and smart. He just doesn't have any boundaries, and his parents don't seem keen on creating them. That's really sad. Children are often scared when they don't have boundaries because they don't know what's ok and what's not ok. Boundaries help kids navigate a pretty foreign (to them) world. When you are with him you can try praising him when he does things right - then he'll know you see his good behavior as well. He'll also be more apt to listen to you when you say no because you won't be saying no all the time. kgb - thanks, it was hard but the results have been good.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 13:00:53 GMT -5
Oh that would escalate quickly! We already had a slingshot incident over the summer. Damn kid is too athletically-inclined, he has VERY good aim.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 13:01:49 GMT -5
Rut roh, better aim well first!
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 13:18:00 GMT -5
Then your reality is that he isn't going to behave in public if you have to take him with you all the time. I can't imagine having to take my toddler out to run errands half the nights of the week. Taking him out of the house after 6pm is for very very rare occaisons. We eat supper at home and if he doesn't nap then he goes straight to bed and if he does nap he can stay up and play until 8pm or so. Kids need that time to unwind at home before bed. Tired kids act out. The other problem may be he is not getting enough napping during the day. At 2 they need at least 1 nap per day or they are going to be a terror in the evening. He is not a great napper. My parents have been trying to get him to take one nap. There are many nights DH does not get home to 8:30-9. Like tonight, I will pick them up around 5:30, have parent - teacher conference at 6, grab a bite to eat and hope to be home by 7:30. Tomorrow night daughter has dance from 5:30-8:30. This will be a late night for him. We will grab food, usually subway or a $5 pizza, drop her off at dance. We come home to rest, get a bath and then go back to pick her up. DH is working and will not be home to sat or Sunday at the earliest. He s doing a special job as a result of Sandy. Our calendar is clear for Saturday! Yea!!!
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Nov 1, 2012 13:20:41 GMT -5
When I baby sit the nieces and nephews it's my way or the highway. I have permission from my friend and sister to discipline as I deem appropriate. I don't like spanking but we do time outs and scoldings. I usually very very rarely have a problem when they are with me. My niece (age 6 now) has had to be told once or twice that if she doesn't behave than no more fun outings with Auntie Sheila. But for the most part they are really pretty good kids.
However- my brother's kids. Wowza. My brother and his wife have been separated since 2009 (when my niece was 2 and my nephew was a couple of months old). They have a 50/50 custody split so every two or three days they are going from one house to the other. My brother is a lazy jackass while my SIL keeps a pretty tight reign on the kids. As I am still on good terms with my SIL I see the kid with her and when they are with my brother. Night and day difference. For instance- she has a regular bedtime routine with the kids and my brother lets them stay up until they fall asleep watching late night tv.
My nephew was recently diagnosed with ADHD (he turned 3 in August) but I think his problem is mostly inconsistent parenting. With his mom if he acts up she will put him in a time out or send him to his room until he calms down and can behave. Works about 95% of the time. Once and a while she will physically take him from the room and have to have a discussion with him in a more stern manner. My niece is usually really good when she is with her mom (she is 5 and in kindergarten)
The minute they get around their dad they turn in to complete brats. My niece will call people "Stupid Bitches", throw food across the room at Nana's house, yell at her dad, sass people, hit people, laugh at anyone who tries to discipline her, etc. My brother is very lazy as I have said before. His form of discipline is to tell her "come on A, stop that" and then go back to ignoring her. My nephew requires a pacifier the minute he sees his dad but doesn't have one at any other time. He too has started swearing at people, refuses to eat, hits people, yells, etc.
This behavior is only evident when they are with their dad. When Nana and Papa are babysitting them they are fine. When I baby sit them they are great. When they are with their mom they are perfectly pleasant. My brother just brings out the worst in his kids.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Nov 1, 2012 13:23:08 GMT -5
He is not a great napper. My parents have been trying to get him to take one nap. There are many nights DH does not get home to 8:30-9. Like tonight, I will pick them up around 5:30, have parent - teacher conference at 6, grab a bite to eat and hope to be home by 7:30. Tomorrow night daughter has dance from 5:30-8:30. This will be a late night for him. We will grab food, usually subway or a $5 pizza, drop her off at dance. We come home to rest, get a bath and then go back to pick her up. DH is working and will not be home to sat or Sunday at the earliest. He s doing a special job as a result of Sandy. Our calendar is clear for Saturday! Yea!!! Did anyone notice the eating outs Doxie is doing? No wonder she is able to keep the grocery bill under $500!
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 13:23:22 GMT -5
He is quick to fall asleep once he is in his bed. But I have always put him to bed, said goodnight and walked out. I never catered to the screaming, so he learned to fall asleep. We always provided our kids with a couple of hours to unwind before bed...bath, story, snack... I really think your son is getting too tired. He's just a baby and shouldn't be expected to adhere to an adult's schedule. I am not even home from work for a couple hours before his bedtime. I have to get him up by 7, however he usually beats us up in the morning. I hear him at 5 am yelling for his sister or I to let him out of his room.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 13:25:43 GMT -5
I have first cousins who are very young. My youngest, who is now 10, is quite a pill. When he was a toddler he was terrible when my grandmother babysat for him. He was a challenge but never as bad as when my mom or I watched it. It was because my sweet grandmother set no boundaries and let him walk all over her, and he knew it. My mom and I didn't put up with that stuff. And he knew it.
He gave me some attitude once. I got right down at eye level, made him look me in the eye and told him flat out, "I know you do this stuff with grandma, but you're not going to do it with me. If you don't listen, you will be in even bigger trouble when your parents get home." And he knew that was true. Nipped that in the bud.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 13:26:48 GMT -5
And what do you do?
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 13:28:31 GMT -5
He is not a great napper. My parents have been trying to get him to take one nap. There are many nights DH does not get home to 8:30-9. Like tonight, I will pick them up around 5:30, have parent - teacher conference at 6, grab a bite to eat and hope to be home by 7:30. Tomorrow night daughter has dance from 5:30-8:30. This will be a late night for him. We will grab food, usually subway or a $5 pizza, drop her off at dance. We come home to rest, get a bath and then go back to pick her up. DH is working and will not be home to sat or Sunday at the earliest. He s doing a special job as a result of Sandy. Our calendar is clear for Saturday! Yea!!! Did anyone notice the eating outs Doxie is doing? No wonder she is able to keep the grocery bill under $500! We don't have time some nights to eat at home. Like on Friday nights we have 30 minutes to eat and get to dance. My daughter goes to school in another district. So it is not super close.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 1, 2012 13:31:31 GMT -5
I usually ask my kids do something first, and say please. The second time is an Order. I say it politely the 1st time too, just without any "ok" or "please" or any question like tone. Both boys will be all over the idea that it's optional in a heartbeat.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Nov 1, 2012 13:33:09 GMT -5
We don't have time some nights to eat at home. Like on Friday nights we have 30 minutes to eat and get to dance. My daughter goes to school in another district. So it is not super close. Leftovers. Batch freezer cooking. Sandwiches.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 1, 2012 13:39:29 GMT -5
Crock pot for nights when you do get to come home first.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Nov 1, 2012 13:40:21 GMT -5
We don't have time some nights to eat at home. Like on Friday nights we have 30 minutes to eat and get to dance. My daughter goes to school in another district. So it is not super close. Leftovers. Batch freezer cooking. Sandwiches. Thats for the local gentry Rocky.... Not for the "Princess". ;D
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 13:48:14 GMT -5
We have the occasional night where we order dinner, but I use my crock pot a ton (No one tell thyme I said that ). I keep some frozen meals on hand, and I always keep quick, healthy food for DD in the house. A lot of nights I don't actually eat, but I make sure she at least has a good dinner.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Nov 1, 2012 13:49:18 GMT -5
Tired kids act out. The other problem may be he is not getting enough napping during the day. At 2 they need at least 1 nap per day or they are going to be a terror in the evening. He is not a great napper. My parents have been trying to get him to take one nap. There are many nights DH does not get home to 8:30-9. Like tonight, I will pick them up around 5:30, have parent - teacher conference at 6, grab a bite to eat and hope to be home by 7:30. Tomorrow night daughter has dance from 5:30-8:30. This will be a late night for him. We will grab food, usually subway or a $5 pizza, drop her off at dance. We come home to rest, get a bath and then go back to pick her up. DH is working and will not be home to sat or Sunday at the earliest. He s doing a special job as a result of Sandy. Our calendar is clear for Saturday! Yea!!! You need to work on the napping. That is your biggest problem. A kid that isn't even 2 needs regular naps - at least 1/day & for some kids 2/day. And napping is going to be all about expectation & environment. If your parents try to lay him down, but he fights or doesn't fall asleep immediately so they let him get up, well now he has learned he doesn't have to nap. Get the kid napping & your evenings will improve considerably.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 13:56:09 GMT -5
I get that Doxie's daughter likes her activities, and that's all well and good - but if it's interfering with the other child's sleep schedule and making life frantic for everyone else, maybe she should take a year or so off until her brother is better able to deal with being out at all hours of the evening?
When I was 8, my brother and sister were 1 and 2, and both were a handful. I didn't get heavily into evening activities until probably junior high - my mom just had too much other crap going on. I suffered no negative long-term effects from the absence of dance lessons during my tween years.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 1, 2012 14:01:07 GMT -5
Mid she won't drop dance classes even though they cost a fortune, you tihnk she's going to let a toddler's sleep schedule get in the way of those dance classes?
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Nov 1, 2012 14:01:18 GMT -5
I suffered no negative long-term effects from the absence of dance lessons during my tween years. Well, I don't know about that. You did become a lawyer, after all.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Nov 1, 2012 14:01:52 GMT -5
Angel's post pretty much sums up our experience. DS naps well at home and with my parents, but never gets a nap at my in-laws. It's only twice a month, but I can pretty much guarantee that he will cry/scream the entire drive home and be a beast until I get him in bed for the night. It can throw off our entire weekend.
They are finally at least making some kind of effort with napping, but apparently turn on the tv for him if he says he can't sleep, and oddly we're back to not napping at their house...
We will never be schedule people, but we strive for routine based on the good results it typically produces.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 14:05:26 GMT -5
I forgot to mention this earlier. Unbelievable. There is a happy medium between not disciplining/not forcing kids and screaming and hitting. But if you don't force sharing, how will they ever learn?
DD has a little friend who is terrible at sharing. Her parents tell her to share, but they don't ever force her. They make a lot of empty threats, "If you don't share that, I'm going to throw it away," but they never follow through. That child is no better at sharing now than she was a year ago.
Sleep/Napping: My DD is a challenge when it comes to sleeping. She has never been a good sleeper. We've tried various things. I finally made an appointment with the pediatrician to discuss what we should do. We have a plan and we stick with it. It's not always easy, but we're staying consistent.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Nov 1, 2012 14:05:50 GMT -5
This is so us, we're all a bit flaky on staying on a strict schedule but if having one produces good results we end up on one because it's more peaceful that way.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Nov 1, 2012 14:12:14 GMT -5
We leave him until we get up.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Nov 1, 2012 14:12:45 GMT -5
I bet.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 1, 2012 14:14:59 GMT -5
I suffered no negative long-term effects from the absence of dance lessons during my tween years. Well, I don't know about that. You did become a lawyer, after all. I could've been the next Nicki Minaj! Damn those siblings and their sleep schedules.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 1, 2012 14:15:18 GMT -5
Honestly, this is disrespectful to your son's needs. You want your son to behave in public, you need to put him in a position to succede. You aren't. He is not even 2 for petes sake. Your parents should work on naps. We always gave DS an hour to at least to try to sleep. He's down to napping about 50% of the time now (almost 3), but we always try for quiet time. What about finding someone for your DD to carpool with so that you aren't having to go out every single night. I would think it would be incredibly disruptive to your DS to get all settled down and then oops into the car to pick up big sister. Of course your other option is to have someone come over and watch your DS while you pick your DD up.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Nov 1, 2012 14:18:50 GMT -5
We do that with DS. But he is quiet when he wakes up. So half the time i have no idea how long he has been awake. He was in a toddler bed/twin bed for 6 months before he started getting out of bed without us getting him. He just really started doing it the last 2 weeks. It is kind of sad in a way. But it is so cute to see his smiling face come out of his room and tell us good morning. Too bad he did it at 6 am this morning because he was sick.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Nov 1, 2012 14:26:18 GMT -5
Anybody catch "Supernanny" last night? Now THOSE were horrid kids. It has to be fake, don't you think? Are there truly parents who let their children get so completely out of control? Lord have Mercy. My parents would have beat us half to death.
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kgb18
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Post by kgb18 on Nov 1, 2012 14:28:16 GMT -5
In college I babysat for a little girl who could have been in a remake of "The Exorcist." She was horrid. And her parents did nothing. Of course, these were also the parents who, while that little girl was at school, would put their 6-month-old twins down for a nap and go grocery shopping and leave the babies home all alone.
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