In what way is your world limited?

[Waffle]

(After reading the following, feel free to suggest a better thread title).

I've been thinking about this for sometime. I have been struck by some comments on the board by people mentioning something that haven't been exposed to. Things like (all paraphrased):

I don't know any poor people.
I didn't meet any black people until I was 15.
Maybe I can't relate to it because of my white middle class upbringing.
And the one that I found most shocking - I don't know any fat people.

I'm sure there have been others.

For me, I think it's a near total unfamiliarity with expensive name brands - usually when someone posts a thread about having a desire to buy some expensive toy - I have to do a google search to find out what they were talking about. For example, there have been mentiones of $1000+ handbags and expensive luggage brands that I had never heard of.

So, in what way is your world "limited"? Do you think your limitation has had any type of positive/negative effect on your life?

[swamp]

I live in a poor rural and very white area, so I really didn't meet many black people until I went to college. There weren't any black kids in my class until my senior year.

I also knew very few rich people.

I made the choice to actively meet people outside my comfort zone and since had the opportunity to meet all sorts of people.

If I had not gone to college, or made the effort to become "more worldly" I think it really would have hindered me.

[chen35]

DH and I have thought about adoption. While perusing some adoption sites, I came across the application for one. One of the questions was if you would accept a baby whose mother smoked during pregnancy (and mentioned that your chances of being able to adopt would be significantly lessened by answering "no"). I was (maybe embarrassingly) shocked. I don't live in a world where women smoke while they are pregnant. Any of my friends who smoked, stopped when they were pregnant. It had never even occurred to me.

[Tennesseer]

I don't believe there are any limits but there are self-imposed limits.

[movingforward]

I have the same experience (or lack their of, I guess) with name brands. I have no idea what many of them are. I probably only know Prada because of that movie

Also, have limited exposure to country clubs. The only time I have ever been to one was in college when I interviewed for a job.

[Tennesseer]

Is it important to you to know expensive name brands? I don't think it is very important.

[Waffle]

Sept 4, 2012 13:29:44 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Is it important to you to know expensive name brands? I don't think it is very important.

I don't know if you're asking me or Almost40, - but to me no it isn't important to know expensive name brands. But it speaks to a lack of exposure to a certain culture or type of people.

[milee]

Sept 4, 2012 13:25:44 GMT -5 chen35 said:

DH and I have thought about adoption. While perusing some adoption sites, I came across the application for one. One of the questions was if you would accept a baby whose mother smoked during pregnancy (and mentioned that your chances of being able to adopt would be significantly lessened by answering "no"). I was (maybe embarrassingly) shocked. I don't live in a world where women smoke while they are pregnant. Any of my friends who smoked, stopped when they were pregnant. It had never even occurred to me.

It varies by area, but in Phoenix, if you ended up with an adopted baby whose mother had ONLY smoked, you'd consider yourself very, very lucky.

Not trying to freak you out, but if you're that unfamiliar with the world of adoption and all the possibilities, please do some heavy duty research before you go any further in your decision making process. Especially if you're considering adoption from other countries. In some countries, the percent of adopted kids with fetal alcohol syndrome is incredibly high. On the other hand, they're finding that some of the crack babies we were so worried about are turning out OK, whild the FAS babies have lifelong troubles. Tough choices.

[swamp]

Sept 4, 2012 13:29:44 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Is it important to you to know expensive name brands? I don't think it is very important.

I don't really care about owning expensive name brand stuff, but I like to be familiar with pop/current culture so when someone mentions something I don't get the deer in headlights look.

[swamp]

Sept 4, 2012 13:32:27 GMT -5 milee said:

Sept 4, 2012 13:25:44 GMT -5 chen35 said:

DH and I have thought about adoption. While perusing some adoption sites, I came across the application for one. One of the questions was if you would accept a baby whose mother smoked during pregnancy (and mentioned that your chances of being able to adopt would be significantly lessened by answering "no"). I was (maybe embarrassingly) shocked. I don't live in a world where women smoke while they are pregnant. Any of my friends who smoked, stopped when they were pregnant. It had never even occurred to me.

It varies by area, but in Phoenix, if you ended up with an adopted baby whose mother had ONLY smoked, you'd consider yourself very, very lucky.

Not trying to freak you out, but if you're that unfamiliar with the world of adoption and all the possibilities, please do some heavy duty research before you go any further in your decision making process. Especially if you're considering adoption from other countries. In some countries, the percent of adopted kids with fetal alcohol syndrome is incredibly high. On the other hand, they're finding that some of the crack babies we were so worried about are turning out OK, whild the FAS babies have lifelong troubles. Tough choices.

[kgb18]

That's an interesting question. I'm not sure how to answer that.

I'd like to think I live a fairly well-rounded life. I've traveled some. I know a lot of different kinds of people. I have a pretty diverse group of family and friends. I'm not naive to what goes on in my community or the world. I must have limitations, but none that immediately jump to mind like in the OP.

I can relate to Swamp's post. My world was much more limited until I went to college, and I made a very conscience effort to meet different people and learn about different things. When I was younger I recognized I was a bit sheltered, and I wanted to change that.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Growing up I didn't know any high, or even high-ish, income earners. I didn't know anybody that had a stable marriage, other than my grandparents. I had teachers and stuff that were married, but in terms of role models that I actually knew well, it was mostly single mothers, divorced couples, abusive relationships, etc. I grew up in a relatively small section of the country, we moved a couple times, but never very far and all within the same state. I'd never met somebody from the south, for example, until I was in the military.

[Phoenix84]

Hard to say. For you what's "normal" may not be someone else's "normal."

For me, I haven't had a great deal of exposure to the poor nor the wealthy. I grew up in a predominantly white upper middle class area. But we had minorities, so I had black and asian classmates (even a couple of friends) in elementary school onward. But I can't say I knew anyone on food stamps or receiving assistance or on the free lunch program, though I wasn't in a position to know this. One thing that really shocked me in college (and still does occasionally) is how many of my peers are from divorced homes. Growing up, everyone I knew had both a mom and a dad. I can't think of a single friend or aquantance whose parents weren't married.

I have far less experience with hispanic people. I still only have known a handful. I also haven't had much experience with gay people, just a couple of aquantances in college. Though one of my friends growing up turned out to be gay, we had grown apart long before that (going to different schools).

Going to college (like others) did expand my horizons quite a bit. But growing up I knew I was a bit sheltered.

I have done a fair amount of traveling in the U.S. I have seen some pretty rough areas and some pretty rural areas. So I have gotten glimpses of what life is like. I haven't done very much international travel. Something I hope to change one day when I am better off financially.

[Deleted]

I have never been to most of the countries in the world, nor talked to most of the people in he world, not to mention never having been to or met anyone outside of our utterly insignificant little blue green planet orbiting a small unregarded yellow sun far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. I also think digital watches are pretty neat.

[movingforward]

Sept 4, 2012 13:32:10 GMT -5 Waffle said:

Sept 4, 2012 13:29:44 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Is it important to you to know expensive name brands? I don't think it is very important.

I don't know if you're asking me or Almost40, - but to me no it isn't important to know expensive name brands. But it speaks to a lack of exposure to a certain culture or type of people.

I was lucky enough to grow up in a very diverse neighborhood with many different cultures and races but I am possibly limited on the other end of things. I could care less about name brands, etc. but our board is full of rich people that I have to interact with and like swamp said there are many times when I have gotten the deer in the headlights look because I am unfamiliar with whatever name brand they are talking about.

[Tennesseer]

Sept 4, 2012 13:32:10 GMT -5 Waffle said:

Sept 4, 2012 13:29:44 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Is it important to you to know expensive name brands? I don't think it is very important.

I don't know if you're asking me or Almost40, - but to me no it isn't important to know expensive name brands. But it speaks to a lack of exposure to a certain culture or type of people.

Waffle-I suppose I was speaking to both of you.

Today you can find pretty much everything you need to know on the Internet. So there is no reason not to research things if you are interested.

As for limiting oneself. I am in my early sixties, live by myself in a modest home. I could have moved up into a larger, more expensive home as time went by. But I disliked the idea of moving because I had moved alot due to employer request. I am satisfied with what I have for the most part. I don't need alot.

Say I was the sole winner of the Powerball lottery and the jackpot was $150 million. Would I sell my home and upgrade? Yes I would. But I don't think I would buy a McMansion as I don't need all that space. Nor would I furnish the new home with every bell and whistle. I wouldn't necessarily be limiting myself because I have options. I just choose not to utilize them.

[Miss Tequila]

My childhood is more like Dark's. I thought my friends were rich because they lived in houses and not government apartments . Now when I drive through the town I grew up in, I realize that my friends were really low-income, blue collar families they just seemed rich at the time.

My mother has a high school education but her grammar is awful. I was raised saying things like "I seen her at the store but she didn't buy nothin'"....once I got to college and around kids from much better backgrounds, I realized that I sounded like poor trash and that was not who I wanted to be. It wasn't that I didn't know better but it was habit to talk like that...so it took a lot of work on my part to make new habits that didn't scream "government housing/trailer trash"!lol

Overall, I do not think I have been limited...perhaps my answer would be different if I didn't work so hard to distance myself from the lifestyle I knew growing up.

[milee]

Sept 4, 2012 13:41:33 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I have never been to most of the countries in the world, nor talked to most of the people in he world, not to mention never having been to or met anyone outside of our utterly insignificant little blue green planet orbiting a small unregarded yellow sun far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. I also think digital watches are pretty neat.

Yeah, on the evoluntion thread I was waiting for you to post your views on the Great Green Arkleseizure.

[Tennesseer]

Sept 4, 2012 13:42:15 GMT -5 movingforward said:

Sept 4, 2012 13:32:10 GMT -5 Waffle said:

I don't know if you're asking me or Almost40, - but to me no it isn't important to know expensive name brands. But it speaks to a lack of exposure to a certain culture or type of people.

I was lucky enough to grow up in a very diverse neighborhood with many different cultures and races but I am possibly limited on the other end of things. I could care less about name brands, etc. but our board is full of rich people that I have to interact with and like swamp said there are many times when I have gotten the deer in the headlights look because I am unfamiliar with whatever name brand they are talking about.

I wouldn't worry about the 'rich people' on the board. You may speak of things to which they are clueless about too. A few of these 'rich people' may be all hat no cattle. Name droppers to be sure.

[midjd]

Prior to meeting DH's ex-wife and her family, I had no idea that there were people living completely under the radar and out of the reach of the social safety net. This was a family in which all the kids were born at home, never got Social Security numbers, and never went to school. Only a couple of them (of 8 kids) can read. Of course, they're limited to McJobs and are essentially undocumented workers - even though they were born in the US, to citizen parents. Most of them now have kids and are repeating the sad cycle.

[thyme4change]

My world is limited by how little I care what other people think or say.

[Waffle]

Sept 4, 2012 13:51:33 GMT -5 midjd said:

Prior to meeting DH's ex-wife and her family, I had no idea that there were people living completely under the radar and out of the reach of the social safety net. This was a family in which all the kids were born at home, never got Social Security numbers, and never went to school. Only a couple of them (of 8 kids) can read. Of course, they're limited to McJobs and are essentially undocumented workers - even though they were born in the US, to citizen parents. Most of them now have kids and are repeating the sad cycle.

WOW. I have a new "limitation". I didn't realize people did this. I wonder why?

[movingforward]

Sept 4, 2012 13:50:33 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Sept 4, 2012 13:42:15 GMT -5 movingforward said:

I was lucky enough to grow up in a very diverse neighborhood with many different cultures and races but I am possibly limited on the other end of things. I could care less about name brands, etc. but our board is full of rich people that I have to interact with and like swamp said there are many times when I have gotten the deer in the headlights look because I am unfamiliar with whatever name brand they are talking about.

I wouldn't worry about the 'rich people' on the board. You may speak of things to which they are clueless about too. A few of these 'rich people' may be all hat no cattle. Name droppers to be sure.

LOL! You are right. One of them once asked me where I got my shoes and I said Payless. Talk about a deer in the headlights look ;D

[swamp]

Sept 4, 2012 13:56:14 GMT -5 Waffle said:

Sept 4, 2012 13:51:33 GMT -5 midjd said:

Prior to meeting DH's ex-wife and her family, I had no idea that there were people living completely under the radar and out of the reach of the social safety net. This was a family in which all the kids were born at home, never got Social Security numbers, and never went to school. Only a couple of them (of 8 kids) can read. Of course, they're limited to McJobs and are essentially undocumented workers - even though they were born in the US, to citizen parents. Most of them now have kids and are repeating the sad cycle.

WOW. I have a new "limitation". I didn't realize people did this. I wonder why?

because generally middle class people don't deal with this population. It's not like you'll meet up with them at the Bar, or the Rotary meeting, or the Garden Show.

[alabamagal]

I went to a very large suburban high school in Miami that was 60% minority, but no African Americans. We had plenty of Cubans, some from various South American countries, a few Indians (from India), and other miscellaneous minorities. Our valedectorian was from Hong Kong. I had two really good friends who were asian but came to the US from Jamaica (with the Jamaican accent). It was very diverse. I had direct interactions via school and some volunteer work the Cuban refugees in the Mariel boatlift (1980) and Haitian immigrants.

I had no interaction with Southerners (even though I grew up in the southernmest part of the US) until I went to college in GA. I married a Southerner.

My world is limited in that I have never lived anywhere where it snowed. I know nothing about snow shoveling, snow tires, snow skiing, or living in a really cold climate. My boss one time sent me on an extended assignment in central PA in the winter and I told him I needed training in snow driving (the project was cancelled thankfully)

[Deleted]

I was quite fortunate in that although I grew up in what grew to be a relatively affluent, predominently white neighborhood in San Diego, my mother had my brother and I run on a nearly all Black track team in Southeast San Diego. It's a real eye opener to be a minority.

We also used to go to Tijuana once a month to buy meat and some other groceries. This was in the early to mid 70s when people were living in cardboard shacks in the river bottom. No sanitation and they would get flooded out every year with the winter rains. A few people would drown every year. I grew up knowing that we were very lucky and "rich" by comparison.

I still get pretty annoyed with DH and others who seem to think that all poor people are that way because they are lazy. For sure there are lazy poor people. But it's a heck of a lot more complicated than that.

[Tiny]

Sept 4, 2012 13:41:33 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I have never been to most of the countries in the world, nor talked to most of the people in he world, not to mention never having been to or met anyone outside of our utterly insignificant little blue green planet orbiting a small unregarded yellow sun far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy. I also think digital watches are pretty neat.

Archie, I always knew you were a a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Oh, and I don't have a college degree. So I'm a moron, who's only qualified to work at McDonalds, will raise welfare leeches, and am all around a pimple on the ass of this great nation. Or something like that. It's been a while since we've had a thread talking about how people who don't go to college are failures, so I'm probably leaving a few things out.

[movingforward]

Sept 4, 2012 13:51:33 GMT -5 midjd said:

Prior to meeting DH's ex-wife and her family, I had no idea that there were people living completely under the radar and out of the reach of the social safety net. This was a family in which all the kids were born at home, never got Social Security numbers, and never went to school. Only a couple of them (of 8 kids) can read. Of course, they're limited to McJobs and are essentially undocumented workers - even though they were born in the US, to citizen parents. Most of them now have kids and are repeating the sad cycle.

20/20 or Dateline (I get these 2 mixed up sometimes) did a special on people like this who lived in Kentucky. It was actually pretty shocking to me. I have always lived in at least mid sized cities so I have never actually been exposed to people that far off the grid. I have some family members that live in rural areas but they all have SS numbers, go to the doctor if needed, etc. Nothing like what I saw on that TV special.

[midjd]

Sept 4, 2012 13:56:14 GMT -5 Waffle said:

Sept 4, 2012 13:51:33 GMT -5 midjd said:

Prior to meeting DH's ex-wife and her family, I had no idea that there were people living completely under the radar and out of the reach of the social safety net. This was a family in which all the kids were born at home, never got Social Security numbers, and never went to school. Only a couple of them (of 8 kids) can read. Of course, they're limited to McJobs and are essentially undocumented workers - even though they were born in the US, to citizen parents. Most of them now have kids and are repeating the sad cycle.

WOW. I have a new "limitation". I didn't realize people did this. I wonder why?

In DH's XW's case, both parents are mentally ill and highly paranoid of the government and any type of "Big Brother" authority - I think that was behind the no-SSN/no-hospital/no-school philosophy.

Sadly, the kids who grew up in that household didn't acquire the tools they would need to 1) see that their lives weren't even remotely normal or OK; or 2) change their situation.* I think that by the time any "outsiders" saw the extent to which those kids were neglected, it was too late to step in - most were already out of the house. If you live in a rural area with MYOB neighbors, it wouldn't be THAT hard to pull off... unfortunately.

*And when you're 18, have been booted out of your house, can't read, can't do math, and don't have an SSN... what do you do? College is out, of course. You can get a McJob, if you can find one that requires no reading/math skills... I'm sure there is some inspirational homeless-to-Harvard type story out there, but damn that's a hard hill to climb.