CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Aug 31, 2012 7:29:17 GMT -5
There was an option for me to skip a grade and my parents didn't. They didn't skip me because I was already younger than everyone else in my grade because I had started early since they started me under a waiver of the pre-k start date. I was bored as hell all through school and was mostly friends with the kids one year up from me and one year down from me. If I had known they were given the option to skip me in 4th grade I'd have begged them to. I'd have been in the year with a bunch of my friends. As it was I coasted all though school, was never challenged and graduated valedictorian with the highest GPA my school had ever seen and probably one of the worst work ethics. Homeschooling would've been a disaster for me. I needed the interaction of other people close to my own age. Otherwise I'd just be around a bunch of adults all the time. As for being a year younger than all of her classmates, well I was a year younger than all of my classmates. It's just the way things are. It's really not all that big of a deal. Several people in the year behind me were driving before me as well. You just have friends with cars give you rides, and usually they are more than happy to because they are excited to be the one with the car If they can't give you a ride that day, you either catch a ride with someone else, walk, or call a parent to pick you up.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 7:30:24 GMT -5
Well, I do. When my kids complain of being "bored", i tell them "only boring people are bored". And, if they complain, i don't have any lack of chores for them. So, it is funny how quickly they become Unbored. lol
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Aug 31, 2012 7:36:12 GMT -5
Well, I'd say pull her out and homeschool, but I am not very objective on the subject. Realistically, though, I would allow her to skip a grade and see how it goes. I was incredibly bored in school and bc of that I never really learned good study habits and it made certain things much more harder for me later in college, while studying for professional exams and frankly, life in general. Lena Yeah my study habits are awful. I didn't have to study much in high school. College was a little different in some classes and I suffered in some classes. The cpa exam was horrible. My school had very little for gifted and when I was first tested they said my math was borderline. I still have a horrible time focusing if I find something boring.
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alabamagal
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Post by alabamagal on Aug 31, 2012 7:37:00 GMT -5
I remember 6th grade a totally lost year in education, and she may be feeling the same way in 5th grade. In my case, the school went from a system where they put all the best students in one class to a mixed system. It totally sucked. I was bored out of my mind. When I went to junior high (7th-9th) they started back with separating kids out for math class and it was much better.
I would not be against moving up a grade. We did that with my son but we just started him in Kindergarten early. It was great for him academically all through school and there were no social issues, other than complaints about being the last kid in his class to get drivers license. The downsides 1) I think an extra year would have been better for him on SAT, but he did well enough to get him into a good school 2) He was never a small kid, and he is still growing at 17 (6'4" I think), and his high school football coach would have loved to have him another year. 3) He is now away at college and was unable to buy cold medicine because he is only 17.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 31, 2012 7:37:56 GMT -5
I have no advice for you. Good luck.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 31, 2012 7:39:50 GMT -5
You do realize that you just proved me right??
Carolina, that's EXACTLY how it was for me and it took me awhile to re-learn my habits and develop good work ethics bc when things come easy, well, it's easy to fall into not working hard pattern.
Dark, weren't you concern about your DD being bored a year or two ago? Was it the same DD or your older one?
And for the record, I never said homeschooling is THE answer, but when the kid, herself is suggesting it as one of the options, I wouldn't discard it.
Good luck!!
Lena
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 7:50:17 GMT -5
Around here, kids can get on the bus at 6:30 in the morning and get home at 3:30... with a bedtime for a 6:30 bus, sports, homework (just cause you know the material doesn't often mean you can get out of the busy work i'm afraid), well, there isn't a lot of extra time. School might not be the end all be all, but if it isn't, then i don't think its worth attributing that much time and effort to... make it better, or change it, but I wouldn't advocate boredom for that amount of time. Because, realistically, when boredome is effective is when a kid can channel that into being creative and having to sit quietly without the means to do your own thing, isn't going to be effective boredom in my book.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 7:54:45 GMT -5
Count me in as never cracking a book to graduate honors in a high school with very little in the way of gifted classes. It did hurt me in college to not know how to study.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 31, 2012 8:09:30 GMT -5
I had my daughter skip the 3rd grade for the same reason. Looking back, I don't know that I would do it again. The 5th and 6th grade is when the girl drama is in full swing. It's a very awkward time for them already. She did have some problems with the girls in her class making fun of her because she was younger than them. Kids are mean and at a time where they are already feeling unsure of themselves, I don't know that I would want to add to it. We did move and now she is in another district and she didn't tell the kids at the new school how old she is because of it. Only a couple of her close friends know.
Also, now my daughter is having to wait to do things that her friends can do. She wants to be able to drive like her friends. Is there no gifted program in your school district? Maybe that would be a better fit. My daughter is doing well and it all worked itself out, but if I had to do it allover again, I would have thought a lot longer about it before doing it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 8:10:52 GMT -5
DD skipped 3rd grade. In 1st and 2nd she was already spending half her day in the grade above her for language arts (1st month of 1st grade she tested at a 5th grade reading and comprehension level). She was already one of the youngest in her class due to having a late september birthday. She did fabulous. She graduated from the IB program and went 300 miles away to a university. She is now in her junior year of college and will just be turning 19 in about a month.
Had she not moved forward, there was concern over what they were going to do for her language arts instruction in 5th grade since the middle school was over 10 miles away so having her do 6th grade language arts in 5th grade wasn't an option without a program being created especially for her.
I was a little nervous about the math as she was on grade level when tested at the beginning of 1st grade, but at the end of 2nd grade whatever standardized test she took (which precipitated the skipping) had her in the 99+ percentile of all 2nd graders in the state, so that alleviated my worries.
When I decided to skip her, I did give her the option that if after a month or 2 it wasn't working, she could go back to 3rd grade.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 8:11:02 GMT -5
My younger son is very academic. And, he was put into enrichment class and hated it. It was just more busy work and it separated him from his peers during another period that he liked. So, i took him out of it. Instead, he does a lot of reading at home.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Aug 31, 2012 8:26:10 GMT -5
FWIW I was in the gifted classes all though school. When I say I was bored out of my skull and didn't have to try, I mean I was bored out of my skull and didn't have to try in the gifted classes.
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Aug 31, 2012 8:32:55 GMT -5
This is a tough one. As parents, we can second-guess ourselves to the point of being certifiably crazy!!
If my 10 year old left me that note, I would spend a lot of time discussing the options with her. Have her list the pros and cons and use the discussion time to get a sense of how committed she is to skipping a grade, and how ready she seems emotionally. Then use your parent "gut" and support her in her decision, if she convinces you she is serious about it.
By being a part of the process, she will be involved in a hard life-decision process, and it could be a great learning experience. If she convinces you and your wife that she is ready to move ahead a year, and you support her in her well-thought out decision, it can be a powerful self-defining moment for her as well.
Regardless of what decision you ultimately make, don't beat yourself up. As parents, we make the best decisions we can with the information we have at the time!
Best of luck!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 8:34:06 GMT -5
Yes. I don't there is a right or wrong answer. I think there are many approaches you could take with your child and be fine either way.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 8:35:19 GMT -5
There is nothing wrong with sibs being in the same grade. It's not weird if they start out in the same grade. This actually may be fine for the young one, who is moving up into the older one's turf - but the older one may resent it. And if the older one isn't supportive, the young one isn't going to just be the new kid in the class, she'll be Elder Honor's brainy kid sister. (so, not just "new" but "other") My other question would be how skipping works out for kids in the long run. Mastering 6th grade material without the benefit of 5th grade would probably be a challenge and help to re-engage her in school during the year ahead. But once you have mastered the 6th grade content, isn't mastering the 7th grade content at the usual pace going to be boring?
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Regis
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Post by Regis on Aug 31, 2012 8:38:19 GMT -5
Our school wanted us to skp our son out of kindergarten into first grade but we didn't think he'd do well socially. We eventually had him skip first grade and it worked out well. He's now in his senior year of college and the only downfall he's seen in skipping the grade is that he couldn't (legally) drink alcohol because he turned 21 well after most of his other friends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 8:52:53 GMT -5
There is nothing wrong with sibs being in the same grade. It's not weird if they start out in the same grade. This actually may be fine for the young one, who is moving up into the older one's turf - but the older one may resent it. And if the older one isn't supportive, the young one isn't going to just be the new kid in the class, she'll be Elder Honor's brainy kid sister. (so, not just "new" but "other") I guess I don't view that as an issue. If i moved a child up to my other child's grade, i would just explain to my other child that was what we were doing.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 31, 2012 8:56:22 GMT -5
Agreed, non-issue. This is when you tell a kid to suck it up and don't be a wanker
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 31, 2012 10:13:44 GMT -5
Can you hire a tutor to work with her, and then, maybe can she do the tutor's assignments during school?
Does CA's DPI (department of instruction) offer online courses that she can take? Are there virtual schools you guys can look into? "How" gifted are we talking here? Gifted enough that she could handle an English class at a tech college? My state flagship university offers some basic English courses online. What about looking at all the free courses MIT and other schools offer online?
Have you sat down to look at the 6th grade curriculum, goals, etc and see exactly how much new stuff she was learning?
I guess my concern would be setting a precedent for skipping grades when the work is too easy.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 31, 2012 10:15:00 GMT -5
Message deleted by giramomma.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Aug 31, 2012 10:29:54 GMT -5
I understand what Shooby means by teaching kids how to handle boredom. I don't allow electronics in our car when we travel (DVD players, video games, etc). They are allowed to bring books and art stuff, but I want them to have to deal with the boredom and figure out ways to solve it. And yes I think it is an important skill to learn to sit still and not bitch about it. I was really proud of the kids: we did a 22hr each way trip to Yellowstone this month and they barely complained.
I have a friend who brings toys/video games everywhere for her 7yo DS. iPad in the car, legos at the restaurant table, etc. The boy seems incapable of sitting and dealing with his environment without stimulation from a gadget. My 7yo niece plays with her parents' iphone at restaurants rather than learn to sit and patiently wait for her food (and talk with others while waiting). Maybe I'm weird but it seems like a real disservice to these kids to not expect them to deal with moments of boredom with grace and proper manners.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 31, 2012 10:32:19 GMT -5
Moments are fine to learn to "deal with," entire days stuck in a classroom are not.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Aug 31, 2012 10:34:18 GMT -5
Moments are fine to learn to "deal with," entire days stuck in a classroom are not. what about whole careers?
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 31, 2012 10:34:54 GMT -5
FWIW I was in the gifted classes all though school. When I say I was bored out of my skull and didn't have to try, I mean I was bored out of my skull and didn't have to try in the gifted classes. That was me too. I probably would have gotten into a lot more trouble in classes if I wasn't at the top of the class, they gave me way more leeway. ;D If the elementary school doesn't have gifted, after you sort this issue out, start looking at the middle (junior?) and high school she'd be going to to see if you're going to have to find alternatives then too. I had to take all AP classes because even honors were too stupid and I'd do worse. I actually probably should have been taking classes at the CC before my senior year, but I didn't want to graduate HS with an AA and cut my college time short by 2 years.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on Aug 31, 2012 10:35:55 GMT -5
Moments are fine to learn to "deal with," entire days stuck in a classroom are not. what about whole careers? Those suck too, but at least you get paid.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Aug 31, 2012 10:55:33 GMT -5
Are there any private schools for G&T kids in your area? Many allow kids to work at their individual pace and ability so that she would always be working ahead of her "grade". That would keep her engaged, I'd think.
They can be pricey, but often have good financial aid packages.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 31, 2012 11:23:54 GMT -5
So your kid has barely been in 5th grade a week and says it's too easy? I'd wait at least until fall break.
There's more to advancing a grade than just academics, you also have to consider the social implications. I'm not sure how socially awkward or unawkward your kid is. But it could end up being pretty isolating if she's younger than all her classmates.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2012 11:39:06 GMT -5
So your kid has barely been in 5th grade a week and says it's too easy? I'd wait at least until fall break. There's more to advancing a grade than just academics, you also have to consider the social implications. I'm not sure how socially awkward or unawkward your kid is. But it could end up being pretty isolating if she's younger than all her classmates. My DD was anywhere from 1-2 years younger than her classmates. Didn't impact her socially at all.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 31, 2012 11:44:25 GMT -5
My biggest concern would be that skipping 5th grade throws her into middle school where she may excel academically but may struggle with the social aspect. Middle school is a whole different ball of wax and it may be a difficult adjustment vs. having her skip 4th grade last year or letting her skip 6th grade next year. Obviously you know how mature your daughter is and whether she'll be able to handle herself with different peer pressures, etc. Good luck! This parenting stuff is hard. Good point. I don't know how middle school is handled out west where you live, but when I was in middle school it was like high school. You had periods and a different teacher for every subject. Maybe your daugther can handle that now, or maybe she can't, only you can judge that. Also to note is the homework burden increases A LOT in middle school. She needs to be ready for that.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 31, 2012 11:46:03 GMT -5
"My DD was anywhere from 1-2 years younger than her classmates. Didn't impact her socially at all."
Not every kid is your DD.
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