Do you WANT to be a SAHS/P?

[Firebird]

Forget money... pretend that's not an issue.

If you could stay home while your spouse worked, would you want to do that? Alternatively, do you think your spouse would like to do that while you worked? Does having kids change your answer?

The idea of having DH stay home appeals to me quite a bit. The idea of me staying home, not so much. This could change once I have a baby, but I doubt it - although I'm going to resent the hell out of my commute (which I don't really care about right now) since it means an extra 2 hours/day I'd otherwise be spending with the little tyke.

Other than that, though, I think I will prefer to work even after I have kids. Even if I didn't have to, I'd still probably want to work.

You?

[swamp]

I would stab myself if I stayed home with my kids all day.

[raeoflyte]

I never thought I'd want to stay home, but post baby I'd do it in a heart beat! I'd even cook and clean and stuff...

DH wants to also, and he's not nearly as reserved about it as I am. Sometimes it seems like his only 'goal' is to be a sahd, but I think I've finally communicated how much it ticks me off when he says that.

And if my income goes up enough that I feel comfortable with it, dh will stay home with the kids, and I'd pay his damn student loans too.... Being responsible sucks...

[deantrip]

I know my wife would like to be a stay at home spouse/mom. At least part time, with the cost of day-care it doesn't make sense for her to pop out a kid and spend her entire paycheck paying someone else to raise them.

[sheilaincali]

May 11, 2012 13:59:31 GMT -5 swamp said:

I would stab myself if I stayed home with my kids all day.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Hell no. Staying at home with infants and toddlers all day. God, I'd be a basket case. I love my kids but I had them at 37 and 39 and I am so do NOT have the personality traits to be happy as a SAHP.

[lynnerself]

When the kids were little and then in early grade school, I would have liked it. I did work part time which worked out well. The thing I hated the most was working in the summer when the kids were out of schools. I could not give them the sort of summers that I had as a kid.

[sheilaincali]

I can honestly say that I have never had more than a passing moments desire to be a SAHM- I was a little sad the first week he was in daycare but that's about it. I would go stir crazy being home all day, especially now that he will be in high school next year. With just the three of us we don't create enough mess or eat enough meals to fill up a full day. I would find myself pulling a Peggy Bundy half way through the week and eating bon bons and watching Judge Judy all day.

[Firebird]

May 11, 2012 14:01:24 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

May 11, 2012 13:59:31 GMT -5 swamp said:

I would stab myself if I stayed home with my kids all day.

I think that if I were ever to do it, I would need a set schedule that we stuck to every day pretty much without exception. I need structure to my day; that's part of the benefit I get from working. Knowing I am expected to be somewhere heads off my laziness.

But I do wonder if there will be a part of me that wants to stay home after I have kids. My suspicion is that I won't. But I could see where it would be great for awhile at least. And it would be nice to have the option.

[Deleted]

Oh heck yeah. If money were not an issue I think both my wife and I would be stay at home parents.

We could do yoga together. Go for walks downtown. Get frozen yogurt.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I find the grass is greener on the other side. When I am having sucky days at work (like now) I want to stay home.

Then when I am home with a screaming tantrum throwing sick toddler I want to be at work!

[Sam_2.0]

That's my goal. We are hoping in 2-3 more years I can quit and SAH. We also want to home school our children (mainly for religious reasons).

(I am so far from being YM approved, its a wonder I am not run out of here with torches & a pitchfork...)

[savecents]

May 11, 2012 13:59:31 GMT -5 swamp said:

I would stab myself if I stayed home with my kids all day.

Yup.

DH is doing this though, although he works part-time evenings after I get home. So he's not entirely stay at home just...mostly. We'll see how he does long term, if he finds a good full-time job I imagine he will want to go back to work.

[The J]

If money wasn't an issue, I'd be a SAHS. If I had kids, I would require a nanny.

[Deleted]

I want to be a SAH dog parent.

[Deleted]

After I had my 2nd I went down to working 3 days a week. I don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't found all of you!

I started working five 6 hour days last year and I think I get the best of both worlds, since I am here to put the kids on the bus and I'm already home when they get home.

[Peace Of Mind]

When I was younger and a step parent (xDH) - No. I don't have kids and my DH doesn't have any kids so Yes! DH prefers that I do too. We have less stress in our lives because of it. I've told our story so many times I won't bore you all again with it (if you've even paid attention in the past). I did work for 24 years starting as a teen, but now I wear my lazy hat proudly!

MMC, LOL!! I am a cat parent. I have 5.

[Firebird]

I could not give them the sort of summers that I had as a kid.

Ah, summers. Now here's one thing that I think would be really great - if I could work for nine months and take a sabbatical every summer to hang with my kids. That would be my idea of the perfect situation. Nine months out of the year would be just enough work for me to feel like I had earned the time off, and it would be so much fun to have a dedicated three months every year to just have family time. Particularly if DH also had the summer off. I can totally picture the epic road trips we'd have.

But since neither of us are in the education field, I doubt that would ever happen.

[reader79]

I wouldn't mind having a SAHS if he actually took care of business. My sister works, and BIL isn't very helpful even though he is not working most of the time. He started in on her the other day about her not helping to keep their room clean - ummm, she just got home from night class after working a full day? He's a douchecanoe.

I don't know if I could stay home, if I had kids then my answer is Hell No! Right now, my career is pretty much the only thing I have going for me. I also wouldn't be able to jump back into the workforce without completing my degree.

What I wouldn't want to happen is for the dynamics in the relationship to change. Like into somewhat of an employer/employee thing. Example - Here's a to do list, and you better do a good job on the grout or no allowance...

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 14:04:37 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Oh heck yeah. If money were not an issue I think both my wife and I would be stay at home parents.

We could do yoga together. Go for walks downtown. Get frozen yogurt.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

are you a woman?






The most I could do is part time. Staying at home with DS for 12 weeks after the birth made me realize that I could not do this all day every day. 2-3 days a week, sure. 7 days a week? Nope.

[bean29]

What WIBeth said. I was glad to go back to work when my kids were babies.

I never really seriously considered staying home with my kids and giving up my career. I would love to work 4 days. I also am really nervous about what kind of mischief my 15 year old DD might get into this summer - but I have bills to pay and college tuition to come up with by August.

But I had Super Grandma babysitting my kids. Grandma is great with babies and small children. I was not worried that my kids were getting sub-standard care while I was at work.

Someone posted once that their child was born with serious health issues - I think that is a really good reason to chose to stay home.

[Firebird]

(I am so far from being YM approved, its a wonder I am not run out of here with torches & a pitchfork...)

Our lives would be no fun if there was no one on here we could judge

[Sum Dum Gai]

Hells to the yeah, where do I sign up? The kids are in school all day, I can keep the house pretty clean with maybe one hours worth of cleaning a day. Throw in another hour making dinner. Easiest job ever!!!

[Deleted]

I like being at home. Every time I ask DH if he wants to trade places he asks me if I'm trying to kill him.

[muttleynfelix]

I am so thankful that my DH stays home with our DS. He loves it and I love having him at home. I love not having to worry about getting anyone out of the house but me in the morning. I love that my DS and DH are so clearly enjoy being home together. Yeah, financially it is tight, but we wouldn't exactly be rolling it if DH was working and it would be so much more stressful. DH and I both worked the first 3 years of our marriage and it was hard. We rarely had vacation time built up at the same time. Our only trips were to visit our parents and extended family. All-in-all, it was a lot of stress. DH was home a year before DS was born. He was recovering from neck surgery and couldn't do the physical aspects of the career he was trained to do. He was laid off right after he had surgery (his department was eliminated). After he recovered, he did some contract work and then I got pregnant and he just got the house ready for the baby as well as doing a lot of things at church. OUr quality of life went up a lot when he stayed home. I'd want him home even if we didn't have kids. He knows how to keep himself.

[reader79]

May 11, 2012 14:03:41 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

I would find myself pulling a Peggy Bundy half way through the week and eating bon bons and watching Judge Judy all day.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.....

[Taxman10]

Every woman secretly longs to do what she knows is best for herself and her family...that is to stay at home.

[Taxman10]

May 11, 2012 14:09:17 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Hells to the yeah, where do I sign up? The kids are in school all day, I can keep the house pretty clean with maybe one hours worth of cleaning a day. Throw in another hour making dinner. Easiest job ever!!!

I'll never understand why women bitch so much about it??

[Sam_2.0]

Aww, thanks FB

[Miss Tequila]

"I'll never understand why women bitch so much about it?? "

Who bitches?? I don't think anyone that is actually home is bitching...who wouldn't rather not work????lol