Do you WANT to be a SAHS/P?

[Firebird]

Dark, you can come and play with my kid anytime you want to break out the Legos again.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Hey, that reminds me. Any chance you want a bin full of lincoln logs? There must be thousands of them in there. My kids don't play with them anymore, and I don't think Loop had plans to give them to anyone else.

[econstudent]

May 11, 2012 14:05:35 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

That's my goal. We are hoping in 2-3 more years I can quit and SAH. We also want to home school our children (mainly for religious reasons).

While I would LOVE to stay at home now, it's even more of a priority to be able to in a few years when my daughter is ready for school.

[whoisjohngalt]

Do your kids a favor, cut the damn cord at some point. It should happen while their age is still measured in single digits

Are you proposing that by the time my kids are 8 or 9, I should no longer take care of them?

[sbcalimom]

Having a SAHP doesn't mean that you are too attached to your child or that you're automatically a helicopter parent.

DH and I have arranged our work schedules so that one of us is typically always home. He works during the day and I work a couple nights a week and on the weekends. We also have a nanny that comes a couple mornings a week to help which has been especially wonderful since I've been dealing with some PPD after DD2's birth. I am the primary caregiver since I'm home more but I still work between 10-20 hours a week (sometimes more too). My work is awesome since it is so flexible and I get paid pretty well too. I tried staying home entirely after DD1 was born and after a few months I hated it. I enjoy working a bit but am so glad that I don't have to work full time. After the move, we can probably afford for me to not work but I'll probably just cut back and work 10 hours a week all the time. I'll still be able to bring in a decent chunk of change but it will be a lot easier to manage than what I'm doing now.

I do however think the decision should be based on what is best for individual families and their situations. That's really all that matters.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Are you proposing that by the time my kids are 8 or 9, I should no longer take care of them?

You don't stop taking care of them, but you do stop treating them like babies. In your head they'll always be your little babies to a certain extent, but if you treat them that way they'll still be actual emotional babies at 16, 17, and 18 years old. Don't hobble your kids like that. Let them grow up. Let them gain independence, in little way while they're young, and more as they get older. That's all I'm saying.

[Firebird]

Hey, that reminds me. Any chance you want a bin full of lincoln logs? There must be thousands of them in there. My kids don't play with them anymore, and I don't think Loop had plans to give them to anyone else.

Hell yeah! I love Lincoln Logs! If you guys are sure you won't want to keep them for any future nieces/nephews/grandkids/etc.

[Firebird]

Are you proposing that by the time my kids are 8 or 9, I should no longer take care of them?

Yes. They should have jobs and be self-sufficient by then. You can give them a good deal on the treehouse if you're feeling generous, but they should definitely own some kind of real estate.

[Firebird]

Having a SAHP doesn't mean that you are too attached to your child or that you're automatically a helicopter parent.

I wasn't trying to imply that it did - just kidding around

I do happen to think that a SAHP is the best arrangement for KIDS in most situations - but that doesn't always make it the right decision. And before anyone gets pissed, my own kid will be in daycare so I'm NOT saying that you can't raise a happy healthy child in daycare. But IF all other things were equal (which they're not), I would think a SAHP arrangement is the best thing for a little kid.

[whoisjohngalt]

You don't stop taking care of them,

Damn, I thought there was a new parenting approach I missed or something. I am a very lazy person, so the sooner they become self-sufficient, the better it would be for me.

In your head they'll always be your little babies to a certain extent,

Not in MY head. In MY head - they are extra hands to help around the house and do all other kind of useful things for me. Why else would I have so many kids?

Lena

[Sum Dum Gai]

Why else would I have so many kids?

Craziness and because a dusty old book told you too seem to be popular answers.

[Firebird]

Not in MY head. In MY head - they are extra hands to help around the house and do all other kind of useful things for me. Why else would I have so many kids?



Lena, you're a woman after my own heart. As soon as this kid can walk, s/he is going to earn his/her keep!

[aliciar6]

no, i like work. i love my job. i'd hate to not do that and stay home, volunteer, garden, etc what ever it is SAHS do, i also as of now would not want to be a SAHM, again i love work, my job is flexible and i can take year off unpaid and keep my spot, i can go into the leave donor program, work part time and be paid like i'm working full time too.

[Formerly SK]

Not in MY head. In MY head - they are extra hands to help around the house and do all other kind of useful things for me. Why else would I have so many kids?

Lena

I created chore charts about a month ago for my kids (6&7). There are about 15 daily things on there most of which are easy (like getting dressed...that's for my ASD son). Still, I get comments almost every day along the lines of "How come we have to do all the picking up around here? You never do any work."

[Happy prose]

I always worked while my dd was growing up. (now 21) My concern now is retirement. As much as im looking forward to it, part of me is nervous about it. I dont think i could stay home with my husband all day. How do i tell him he cant retire?? I have 10 years to figure this out!!

[Sum Dum Gai]

As much as im looking forward to it, part of me is nervous about it. I dont think i could stay home with my husband all day. How do i tell him he cant retire?? I have 10 years to figure this out!!

I thought you were supposed to feed him unhealthy food, nag him constantly, and let the heart attack take care of that issue for you? Is that no longer acceptable?

[Firebird]

Still, I get comments almost every day along the lines of "How come we have to do all the picking up around here? You never do any work."



Love it.

When my kid says that to me, I'm going to smile and hand him or her a bill for services rendered. It'll include things like their diapers, food, housing, daycare, and toys. And I'll tell them that I will happily start doing all their chores, but the things on that list will be their responsibility to provide from now on.

[Happy prose]

Dark H...i knew there was a reason i liked you.

[Sum Dum Gai]

Seriously though, I hear a mug of hot brown gravy in the morning is more satisfying than coffee.

[Deleted]

If money (retirement savings mainly) wasn't an issue, then I would love for one of us to stay home. I don't even care which one, but both of us working is exhausting with a less clean house, worse meals, and constant running around. I don't know how other parents do it. I am in the market for a cleaning lady to at least take care of the cleaning problem.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 18:26:05 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

Not in MY head. In MY head - they are extra hands to help around the house and do all other kind of useful things for me. Why else would I have so many kids?

Lena

I created chore charts about a month ago for my kids (6&7). There are about 15 daily things on there most of which are easy (like getting dressed...that's for my ASD son). Still, I get comments almost every day along the lines of "How come we have to do all the picking up around here? You never do any work."

LOL. You would've thought I had my kids digging ditches the way they complained about having chores and having to clean up behind themselves. I told them I'm their Momma, not their maid.

[wvugurl26]

Being at home with kids all day is my idea of hell on earth. I like my job and I didn't do all this to give it up and stay home with kids.

[quince]

I don't think I want to be a SAHP, I just don't want to do both things at the same time...

If money were no object, we would both totally stay at home, and work on projects that interested us. I'd love us both having tons of time with our theoretical children.

[lurkyloo]

Being a SAHM is not quite my idea of hell on earth...but it's close. I need challenge, mental stimulation, and time away from other people (time spent reading scientific articles and working at my desk or lab bench counts). My job fills these requirements nicely; scrubbing the walls and singing itsy-bitsy spider all day ain't gonna cut it.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

May 11, 2012 20:10:05 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Being at home with kids all day is my idea of hell on earth. I like my job and I didn't do all this to give it up and stay home with kids.

I took care of my niece and nephew when she ad her DH went to Mexico for a week. The couple of days were ok, but by the end of the week I was going stark raving nuts. I was desperate for adult conversation.

A friend of m BIL called to see if I needed anything. I talked the poor guy's ear off.

[wvugurl26]

Even when I've been unemployed the worst part for me was being at home with no interaction. Some people can stay at home with kids and god bless them. I think it takes a special personality to be able to do that and I don't have it!

[Deleted]

Yes, I remember being tired of "baby talk" all day every day was one of the reasons for my part time jobs when I was a SAHM. I needed more interaction with adults.

[Firefly]

If money was no issue I would prefer not to work but with kids I would also need a housekeeper and nanny. I don't particularly like working but I hate house work even more.

[Deleted]

I don't know where the notion came from that being home all day with your own children is some terrible, awful thing. Sorry, i don't get that mentality. We adjusted our lifestyles so that i could be home more. I work but i have a much lighter schedule than i otherwise would have. I love it that way and I like being home with my children.

[Deleted]

I never liked the idea of staying home with kids, even as a teenager. I liked kids, I was a good babysitter, but I just never wanted it as a full-time job. At the time (early 1970s) I felt like a misfit.

I felt like DS was being taken care of in tag-team fashion and no one ever got tired of having him around. His sitter (I'm still on FaceBook with her even though DS is 27) had him all day but knew I'd pick him up at the end of the day. I was always thrilled to see him and take him home. She was always happy to see him again in the morning.

For us, it was financially necessary that I work. The Ex and I lived in a HCOL area and we couldn't live in a decent neighborhood on just his income. I suppose we could have cut costs by moving into a high-crime area or moving way out so he'd have a 2-hour commute one-way, but I think that's a heck of a burden to put on someone else. In retrospect, if money hadn't been a concern, PT work would have been perfect for me.