wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 11, 2017 5:15:40 GMT -5
What do you call Santa's little helpers?................Subordinate Clauses........
|
|
Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
|
Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Dec 11, 2017 21:26:23 GMT -5
How do you fire a person that repairs watches and clocks?
You tell them their time is up
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,741
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 12, 2017 7:47:30 GMT -5
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 12, 2017 10:54:08 GMT -5
What Christmas carol is heard in the desert?............"O'camel Ye Faithful"
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 13, 2017 10:31:33 GMT -5
If athletes get athlete's foot, what do Santa's elves get?...................................Mistletoe..................
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 13, 2024 13:50:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 13, 2017 23:28:01 GMT -5
I thought that one went:
Q: If Athletes get Athlete's Foot, what do Soldiers get A: Missile Toe (or "Missile: TOW", I.E. a TOW Missile)
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 14, 2017 11:29:49 GMT -5
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?..............Horn-a-ments!!
|
|
Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
|
Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Dec 15, 2017 16:36:42 GMT -5
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ball room
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 16, 2017 7:39:35 GMT -5
There is nothing like the joy on a kids face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas!!
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,741
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 16, 2017 7:43:23 GMT -5
There is nothing like the joy on a kids face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas!! That's just plain cruel but funny
|
|
Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
|
Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Dec 16, 2017 15:21:14 GMT -5
What do you call a Santa Claus with no money?
Saint Nickel-less
|
|
tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
Posts: 6,357
Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
|
Post by tigerpause on Dec 17, 2017 19:44:24 GMT -5
A Spanish magician wanted to do a trick. He covered himself with a blanket and counted, "Uno, Dos," and he vanished without a Tres.
|
|
tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
Posts: 6,357
Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
|
Post by tigerpause on Dec 17, 2017 19:45:47 GMT -5
We should start telling kids that Santa moved to the Amazon and sends gifts in the mail now.
|
|
tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
Posts: 6,357
Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
|
Post by tigerpause on Dec 17, 2017 19:47:31 GMT -5
Knock knock Who’s there? Cargo Cargo who? Cargo beep beep
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 13, 2024 13:50:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2017 23:15:02 GMT -5
Did you hear about the crap that happened at the annual fertilizer convention?
Yeah... it was a real shit show.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 13, 2024 13:50:26 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2017 23:17:00 GMT -5
Q: How do we know that Toothpaste was invented in the hills of Kentucky?
A: Had it been developed anywhere else it would have been called "Teethpaste".
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 19, 2017 16:28:54 GMT -5
Remember children, the best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a little baby brother......
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 22, 2017 13:03:28 GMT -5
What is the best thing there is to put into a Christmas cake?.................your teeth....
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 23, 2017 4:54:29 GMT -5
What did the grape say to the peanut butter? ..........................."tis the season to be jelly!"............
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 29, 2017 5:17:30 GMT -5
Why is slippery ice like music?........................................ If you don't C sharp you'll B flat......
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,741
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 29, 2017 8:27:11 GMT -5
The time traveler was still hungry after his last bite, so he went back four seconds.
|
|
Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 63,576
|
Post by Tennesseer on Dec 29, 2017 11:28:41 GMT -5
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over.
|
|
NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 25,741
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
|
Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 29, 2017 12:09:10 GMT -5
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. I can so see that~~
|
|
wyouser
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 16:35:20 GMT -5
Posts: 12,126
|
Post by wyouser on Dec 30, 2017 7:28:15 GMT -5
What sits on the bottom of the Arctic Ocean and shakes?..................A nervous wreck.....
|
|
Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
|
Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jan 3, 2018 20:28:51 GMT -5
Did you hear about the 2 thieves that stole a calendar?
They each got 6 months
|
|
Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
|
Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jan 4, 2018 10:54:48 GMT -5
Why did the computer show up late to work?
It had a hard drive
|
|
Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
|
Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jan 4, 2018 20:23:18 GMT -5
why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?
He needed his space.
|
|
Rob Base 2.0
Well-Known Member
Joined: Feb 23, 2017 18:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,538
|
Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Jan 4, 2018 20:41:25 GMT -5
My new girlfriend told me I'm terrible in bed.
I don't think it's fair to make a judgment like that in less than a minute
|
|
tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
Posts: 6,357
Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
|
Post by tigerpause on Jan 8, 2018 1:38:43 GMT -5
Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? All that was left was de Brie.
|
|
tigerpause
Junior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 22:35:11 GMT -5
Posts: 6,357
Mini-Profile Background: https://i.imgur.com/RZ8b5SP.png
|
Post by tigerpause on Jan 8, 2018 1:40:11 GMT -5
Where do poor meatballs live?
The spaghetto
|
|