wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Oct 14, 2017 5:14:20 GMT -5
If you take your dog with you to the mall, where should you leave him? ...........In a barking space........
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2017 2:23:59 GMT -5
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she cooked a meal. So I took out the batteries in the smoke alarm. I've set off smoke alarm boiling water I can beat that... In 7th grade Home-Ec (the cooking portion of the class), I set a pot of water on fire... on an electric stove.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 15, 2017 7:35:43 GMT -5
I've set off smoke alarm boiling water I can beat that... In 7th grade Home-Ec (the cooking portion of the class), I set a pot of water on fire... on an electric stove. I proudly pass the erupting volcano torch to you. Eta I needed to tag Tennesseer since he is the guardian of the kitchen volcano
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
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Posts: 63,576
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Post by Tennesseer on Oct 15, 2017 10:20:26 GMT -5
I can beat that... In 7th grade Home-Ec (the cooking portion of the class), I set a pot of water on fire... on an electric stove. I proudly pass the erupting volcano torch to you. Eta I needed to tag Tennesseer since he is the guardian of the kitchen volcano I can understand a 7th grader learning how to cook for the first time making a bad mistake. But a 37-year-old-woman setting a pot of water on fire? Uh-uh. And remember that time you saw a hedgehog cake on Pinterest you wanted to make for a family holiday party? You even bragged about nailing it.
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Deleted
Joined: May 13, 2024 14:24:09 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2017 18:41:02 GMT -5
I proudly pass the erupting volcano torch to you. Eta I needed to tag Tennesseer since he is the guardian of the kitchen volcano I can understand a 7th grader learning how to cook for the first time making a bad mistake. But a 37-year-old-woman setting a pot of water on fire? Uh-uh. And remember that time you saw a hedgehog cake on Pinterest you wanted to make for a family holiday party? You even bragged about nailing it. I do believe you misunderstood who did what... LOL. The 7th grader (me, at the time) is the one that set the water on fire.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 16, 2017 12:34:39 GMT -5
I proudly pass the erupting volcano torch to you. Eta I needed to tag Tennesseer since he is the guardian of the kitchen volcano I can understand a 7th grader learning how to cook for the first time making a bad mistake. But a 37-year-old-woman setting a pot of water on fire? Uh-uh. And remember that time you saw a hedgehog cake on Pinterest you wanted to make for a family holiday party? You even bragged about nailing it. First let me say - that is not my cake!! I DO NO BAKE!! We have wonderful bakeries here. Second I think your auto correct changed my age but I luvvvvv it
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Oct 22, 2017 4:30:41 GMT -5
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?...............Bamboo......
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2017 5:23:06 GMT -5
Q: What does the ghost say to the flower pollinating, honey producing, flying insects? A: Boo-bees!
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tigerpause
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Post by tigerpause on Oct 23, 2017 0:45:17 GMT -5
They don't watch the Flintstones in Dubai. But Abu Dhabi do.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Oct 25, 2017 4:44:53 GMT -5
This for those of you planning a Halloween cruise.........What do Sea Monsters eat for lunch?.............Fish and ships!
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 26, 2017 3:25:52 GMT -5
What did the fish say when he posted bail? I'm off the hook!
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Oct 26, 2017 10:26:46 GMT -5
What do witches put on their hair?.............scarespray!....
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 26, 2017 14:33:41 GMT -5
Why do skeletons have low self-esteem? They have no body to love!
Why are skeletons so calm? Nothing gets under their skin!
What makes a skeleton laugh? Something tickles its funny bone!
How do vampires get around on Halloween? In blood vessels.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Oct 29, 2017 7:02:32 GMT -5
What do you call a fat pumpkin?..............A Plumpkin!
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Oct 31, 2017 11:42:11 GMT -5
On this Halloween......What is a werewolfs favorite food........................YOU!
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Nov 10, 2017 5:32:26 GMT -5
An elderly retiree wobbles gingerly into an ice cream shop and carefully, ever so slowly climbs up onto a counter stool. He wheezes a bit then orders a chocolate sundae. "Crushed nuts? " asked the server. "No", he answers, "Bad Knees."
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Nov 20, 2017 16:05:40 GMT -5
In season now:.......What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?........."Plymouth Rock".....................AND: Why can't you bring a turkey to church?..........They use "fowl" language.......
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Nov 22, 2017 4:50:34 GMT -5
Have you eaten out in the past few days? Why? Why, is the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?...............It has 24 carrots.......
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Nov 23, 2017 8:38:18 GMT -5
How did the Mayflower show it really liked America?.........It hugged the shore......
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Rob Base 2.0
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Post by Rob Base 2.0 on Nov 23, 2017 9:05:50 GMT -5
what happened to the turkey that got into a fight?
he got the stuffing knocked out of him
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 23, 2017 11:54:51 GMT -5
Q. What do you call it when Batman skips church?
A. Christian Bale
Q. Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
A. It got stuck in a crack.
Q. Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
A. All the fans left.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Nov 23, 2017 12:12:30 GMT -5
In the spirit of Thanksgiving:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Nov 23, 2017 13:22:34 GMT -5
And another Turkey Day groaner!!
I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Nov 24, 2017 8:05:01 GMT -5
Sorry gang! Shoppers on Black Friday WILL block and tackle way better than your football team did on Thanksgiving yesterday......
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Nov 25, 2017 6:47:32 GMT -5
What, is a snowman's favorite Mexican food?...............Brrrrrrrrr,,,,,itos!
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Nov 27, 2017 7:49:23 GMT -5
Why, is Santa so jolly?...........He knows where all the naughty girls live............
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wyouser
Senior Associate
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Post by wyouser on Nov 29, 2017 11:21:13 GMT -5
What song do you sing for a snowman's birthday?................"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
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toomuchreality
Senior Associate
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Favorite Drink: Sometimes I drink water... just to surprise my liver!
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Post by toomuchreality on Dec 2, 2017 1:39:42 GMT -5
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Dec 4, 2017 6:32:27 GMT -5
What do you call a Santa who is dead broke?.............Saint Nickel-less..............
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Dec 7, 2017 7:03:50 GMT -5
What do you call a snowman in summer?.................a puddle!
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