zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Mar 7, 2013 15:28:39 GMT -5
Overspending is a family trait in this family anyway.
|
|
bean29
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:26:57 GMT -5
Posts: 9,971
|
Post by bean29 on Mar 7, 2013 15:43:38 GMT -5
Yeah, I know anyone that appears to be normal or successful could not possibly be bi-polar. Catherine Zeta Jones, Demi Lovato, Britney Spears, Kurt Cobain, Marilyn Monroe, Linda Hamilton, Sinead O'Connor, Vincent Van Gogh, Carrie Fisher, Emily Dickenson, Virginia Wolf, Vivien Leigh, Jean-Claude Vann Damme, Jane Pauley, Mariette Hartley, Rosemary Clooney, Buzz Aldrin, Kit Gingrich (Newt's Mom), Patty Duke. www.mental-health-today.com/bp/famous_people.htmI was almost certain Albert Einstein belonged on the list - I found a refrence that includes his name: In case you find yourself with four or more of these symptoms, a medical diagnosis is essential and early treatment can do wonders for you. Recent research has shown that many children who are intellectually accomplished are at a greater risk for the disorder. Some famous individuals who had bipolar disorder include Winston Churchill, Michelangelo, Mozart, Isaac Newton, Picasso, Albert Einstein and Christopher Columbus.
www.bipolarcentral.com/articles/articles-819-1-Bipolar-Disorder-or-Manic-Depressive-Disorder.html
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,331
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 7, 2013 16:38:04 GMT -5
Okay I can get being annoyed at arm chair diagnosing but what is so offensive about suggesting someone might want to look into some counseling/therapy? Nobody is holding a gun to their head and making them go. I believe quite a few people on here have been to marital counseling at one point and quite a few ladies on the WIR pregnancy thread have been to individual counseling. Not everyone feels like they can just smack some sense into themselves. Congratulations to those that can and don’t need any help from anyone, but sometimes it’s worth hearing that there is help out there if you want it. It isn’t just for crazy people.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 7, 2013 16:39:24 GMT -5
...:::"- family logo":::...
I wonder what the Mrs. C family logo would look like? A purse and some shoes encircled by an outline of Haiti?
...:::"He gets extremely upset if things don't go his way and feels like the world is going to end.":::...
This is me.
I'm still catching up, so I'm not sure if this is addressed, but has anyone discussed what it would actually take to help the mother? I mean truly help, and long term? More than "see a counselor". More than "some time in an institution".
Do either of these people really love their kid? Objectively, it sounds like cawiau thinks neither is a stellar parent. I hope for the sake of the kid, they can get things in order.
Back to more fun, and possibly a mockup of that logo if I get a chance...
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 7, 2013 16:55:12 GMT -5
OK I'm caught up.
I think all the statements like "I'd be fighting for my child" are people applying rational thought to a situation. I am not so sure that the cousin is in her right mind. I don't mean she is insane, I just mean that her experiences have shaped how she handles situations.
Look, when I've told you some of the stuff I've put up with, or done, I've pretty much been called crazy too. Hell, when I reflect on some of the ways I handled situations, or some of the things I allowed; sometimes my stomach turns. But those thought processes were not created overnight, and they won't be broken overnight.
Whether or not the father is truly worried about the safety of the child, or just mad that the gravy train ride is ending (and in a sense, was never there to begin with) we won't truly know. But those two obviously gave each other SOMETHING that kept them together.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 47,331
Member is Online
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 7, 2013 17:03:28 GMT -5
I doubt anyone in the family has really talked about it since the idea seems to be you can talk /bitch slap/shop/vacation/deny yourself out of any slump you may possibly be in and that all you need after a mental ward stint is a tattoo. Not saying she is needs a formal diagnosis, but like Whoami said this family seems to thrive on drama. Not exactly the best place to be getting advice from if you need to get your shit together, IMO. She really should see someone if only to have a rational sane person discuss things with. A therapist isn’t going to have an interest in keeping the drama going. Carl sounds like the only one that has his shit together and he’s labeled a selfish jerk. Tells you a lot about the mindset of those people. </SPAN></FONT>
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 39,779
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Mar 7, 2013 17:09:59 GMT -5
Actually I think cognitive behavior therapy could be a big help, but only if she is ready to follow through. Until she is ready, going to therapy is likely a waste of money. I tried to find some evidence that Picasso was bipolar but the first two pages really just I think were using Picasso to sell the idea its OK to be bipolar and become a pharma cash cow and take meds until you die. As most posters know I am not a fan of how most psychiatric medicine is practiced. The selling of mental illness drugs has been so successful that few people actually realize the neurotransmitter imbalance has never been proven in any research and in fact studies on the same 'mental illness' often find results that make no sense if you want to prove the neurotransmitter theory. Some folks with test high in one, low and others and often the reverse will be true as well. Still the marketing persists because it is effective. That's why on a quiz on bipolar disorder it is worded just like the Pharma ads. What biological or biochemical imbalance may cause bipolar disorder? Malfunctions of the brain's neurotransmitters may serve as a biological cause for bipolar disorder. dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/causes-bipolar-disorder-quiz.htmThe reason you need an eval from a health professional is there are no physical tests that can be performed to confirm or deny mental illness. Many times an evaluation is just a simple quiz that the medical profession feels defines a diagnosis. I think because the profession and now most of the public is so married to a theory that appears it will never be proven that we may not have research for many many years to find real causes. Even though this woman obviously had a severe break from her normal self I don't buy that it has to be by definition a forever something. It could be more like a post traumatic stress thing or like people who lose for a period when a spouse or a child dies. If I won a huge lottery win I would love to fund scientists to look in a different direction for causes. Until the cousin is ready, I'm not sure what you can do ... I'm not a fan of drugging people against their will.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 39,779
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Mar 7, 2013 17:20:48 GMT -5
I like the idea of a family logo. I had some ideas but I think if they designed it perhaps it would be a young well-dressed Haitian woman in profile with designer duds and/or carrying several shopping bags from the Mall. I thought a logo containing Haiti tiled with recognizable credit cards and high denomination greenbacks would be cool but my guess is the female cousins would not approve.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 7, 2013 17:24:47 GMT -5
I just looked up the cost per session for some local counselors. $100-$120 per session. Anyone that says you can't put a price on your happiness is dead wrong. I have to look into what my insurance may cover, but I doubt it would be enough to "get better". I need to learn to talk like those people in the cell phone commercials. "HeyIneedsomehelpdealingwithmyangerandnotmakingmywifeunhappywhatdoIdo?"
As for the mother, sure she could buy 4 sessions for the cost of that weekend in Haiti. Priorities...
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Mar 7, 2013 17:44:46 GMT -5
It could be more like a post traumatic stress thing or like people who lose for a period when a spouse or a child dies. That would make sense if there was some huge trauma. It sounds to me like she just became incapable of dealing with the day to day stress of life. If her life was going to be stress free from here going forward that would be fine, but she is going to have more stress & going to seriously need to learn to cope. True, but you don't have to enable them either.
|
|
Opti
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 10:45:38 GMT -5
Posts: 39,779
Location: New Jersey
Mini-Profile Name Color: c28523
Mini-Profile Text Color: 990033
|
Post by Opti on Mar 7, 2013 17:56:52 GMT -5
Angel, I wish the family wouldn't enable it, but what do you expect when Mom moves in to help pay for the house and takes over a car lease? Most families would have a come to reality discussion and the house would be sold, the lease sold or broken, etc. Its a rare family that takes someone in financial distress and decides spending money on unnecessary trips and leisure is the way to go. The need to appear wealthier and perfect is currently stronger than the desire to be healthy and happy. Hopefully sometime soon that will change.
|
|
Angel!
Senior Associate
Politics Admin
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:44:08 GMT -5
Posts: 10,722
|
Post by Angel! on Mar 7, 2013 18:15:51 GMT -5
Angel, I wish the family wouldn't enable it, but what do you expect when Mom moves in to help pay for the house and takes over a car lease? Absolutely. They wonder why she got stuck in a codependent relationship with a loser for 7 years, because she learned that behavior from her mom. Sounds like they are all enablers rescuing each other from the fall out of their bad decisions. Generally you learn to be codependent young either from how you relate to your parents or watching your parent's relationships. So it makes sense that her mother would try to rescue her just as much as she would try to rescue her ex.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 15:20:02 GMT -5
Were those trips and tattoos all pay your own way? Or was it like a birthday dinner where everyone chips in for the birthday person as well? It shows their priorities that they always have money for this crap, but can't save their house or cars.
Does that Range Rover have LoJack or something that can be used to trace it?
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Mar 8, 2013 16:50:19 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 19:17:55 GMT -5
Were those trips and tattoos all pay your own way? Or was it like a birthday dinner where everyone chips in for the birthday person as well? It shows their priorities that they always have money for this crap, but can't save their house or cars. It is pay your own way.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 19:19:21 GMT -5
So the depressed cousin has to pay for her own. Can she afford it? Or rather, HOW are they going to float this one?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 19:27:12 GMT -5
Update
- The police made him return the car but he did not give her the keys. Aunt is going to have the car towed to the dealer and then try to sell it. They don't want to have anything to do with that car anymore.
Today they had to go to court for the kid visitation thing.
- In court he refused to give her the child and the judge ordered him to. He gets the child every weekend and she has him during the week.
- His argument was that she took his car from him, how was he supposed to get his kid. The judge told him to walk or take the bus, either way that was not his problem.
- When he gave her the baby he told her : I wish something happen to you when you have the baby. WTF? Who the fuck say such a thing? And that is your child to?
- Seems he is back with the stupid girlfriend (some women really have no taste) and today she texted my wife cousin something along the lines: if you hurt my man I will hurt you. Biatches be crazy I tell you!!!
The good thing is the cousin seems to be getting stronger and more independent. Now she needs to get her finances in check.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 19:37:04 GMT -5
...:::"When he gave her the baby he told her : I wish something happen to you when you have the baby. WTF? Who the fuck say such a thing? And that is your child to?":::...
People who are hurt, vengeful, or just not right.
...:::"The good thing is the cousin seems to be getting stronger and more independent. Now she needs to get her finances in check.":::...
Glad to hear it.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 19:39:37 GMT -5
So the depressed cousin has to pay for her own. Can she afford it? Or rather, HOW are they going to float this one? We are guessing tax returns and credit cards. If I remember correctly last year she got 7-10k back, so might be the same this year: - 50k income - child - head of household - mortgage interest write off on a 300-400k mortgage - student loans interest write off. And if she withhold 0 like she did the year before, quite possible.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 19:48:43 GMT -5
Some people are better at managing windfalls than they are with small amounts. Others just see money and find things to spend it on.
I'm rooting for your wife's cousin on this one, but its going to be tough.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2013 19:56:33 GMT -5
Some people are better at managing windfalls than they are with small amounts. Others just see money and find things to spend it on. I'm rooting for your wife's cousin on this one, but its going to be tough. Yep. We are rooting for the kid because it is going to be hard not to come out all fucked between those two.
|
|
Mardi Gras Audrey
Senior Member
So well rounded, I'm pointless...
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:49:31 GMT -5
Posts: 2,082
|
Post by Mardi Gras Audrey on Mar 8, 2013 19:58:01 GMT -5
Can she file as head of household? It looks like they had to be separated and not living together for at least Jul-Dec of 2012. Were they separated all that time? I'm not a tax expert but don't you have to file as Married (even if your spouse doesn't work)? Can you file HOH if you have a SAHM but you are married?
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 8, 2013 20:01:20 GMT -5
...:::"Yep. We are rooting for the kid because it is going to be hard not to come out all fucked between those two.":::...
You being so far away may also mean that while the craziness goes down and the kid needs a home, the family doesn't decide that you are the ideal candidate. Not being mean here, just saying.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,869
|
Post by zibazinski on Mar 9, 2013 4:30:38 GMT -5
Maybe she will pull her head out of her ass with the ass gone! She has her mother and her child and if the rest of the relatives would butt out and stop spending, tripping, and tattooing, maybe she will continue to grow up. Carl, you are a miracle and your DW should thank her lucky stars for you. You and WWBG are frickin saints!
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2013 8:40:46 GMT -5
Can she file as head of household? It looks like they had to be separated and not living together for at least Jul-Dec of 2012. Were they separated all that time? I'm not a tax expert but don't you have to file as Married (even if your spouse doesn't work)? Can you file HOH if you have a SAHM but you are married? I was just assuming/guessing. I am guessing she filed either Married filing separately or head of household. Either way she got some cash from her returns that she has been busy spending.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2013 8:42:11 GMT -5
...:::"Yep. We are rooting for the kid because it is going to be hard not to come out all fucked between those two.":::... You being so far away may also mean that while the craziness goes down and the kid needs a home, the family doesn't decide that you are the ideal candidate. Not being mean here, just saying. Nah, we are definitely not worried about that. They are to many "upstanding" citizens in her family that would be more than happy to do that; so we would be absolutely last and I mean last resort.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2013 8:45:10 GMT -5
Maybe she will pull her head out of her ass with the ass gone! She has her mother and her child and if the rest of the relatives would butt out and stop spending, tripping, and tattooing, maybe she will continue to grow up. Carl, you are a miracle and your DW should thank her lucky stars for you. You and WWBG are frickin saints! My DW is awesome. When I came home last night from playing basketball she had 2 burritos in one hand and a Samuel Adams in the other waiting for me. What more can a guy ask for
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 18, 2024 10:55:20 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2013 8:54:02 GMT -5
And better yet, she made enough that I had 2 more to bring to work for lunch today
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 9, 2013 9:32:46 GMT -5
I was going to ask: microwaved, restaurant, or home made?
Burritos can go either way I find. Either reasonably healthy if filled with stewed beans and lean meat -- or ridiculously unhealthy if filled with sour cream and cheese.
I need to get back to cooking enough for leftovers. I have a pound rib eye in the fridge that half will make it to lunch one time this week. I finally bought some cold cuts too so I can make simple sandwiches. $9/day lunches are not the path to wealth building.
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 9, 2013 9:34:46 GMT -5
So does the cousin ever cook? I remember you grilling one of the men in your circle who was complaining about the wife never being in the mood, but the guy never cooked, cleaned, helped with the kids, and hardly made any money. I don't think that was this guy.
Hopefully the cousin does not get busy with the guy -- a 2nd kid in the mix would just be.... less than ideal at this time?
|
|