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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 14:24:13 GMT -5
Custody: I don't know how it is going to play out and we will have to wait and see.
They have been trying to outdo each other in the "call the cops" department:
Him: - called the cops on her when he came to pick up his son and he was not there - called the cops on her again for the same reason, she was at work and her aunt was babysitting.
Her - call the cops on him for braking into the house - call the cops on him for taking her son and not having a car seat - call the cops on him because he tried to hit her, instead punched the wall. - call the cops on him for refusing to give her the kid on her days.
We will find found out in a couple of weeks when they go in front of a judge.
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cottoncandyclouds
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Post by cottoncandyclouds on Mar 6, 2013 14:31:15 GMT -5
If the husband gets custody, he'll get money from her still, which is what he wants. Could be. I wonder if they are finalizing the custody they already agreed upon or if he is seeking more. She is not in a good position to fight for full custody, ESPECIALLY if he can show she is mentally unwell & not seeking treatment. I really hope that her family has her getting help. All the vacations & keeping busy in the world can't fight off untreated depression forever. Encouraging frivolous spending she probably can't afford is just enabling the behavior. Unfortunately, I think this is the family getting her help. Keeping her busy is probably the only way the family thinks will keep her from spiraling down.I'm hoping I'm wrong, but it sounds to me like Cawiau's wives family is going to get her anymore help than what they are providing. The problem here is someone can't be with her 24/7 this plan will eventually fall through, and when it does she'll be even more of wreck than she was before. Cawiau I would encourage your wife to try to help her cousin find a counselor just don't let her get talked into paying for it. There are counselors that accept payment on a sliding scale.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Mar 6, 2013 14:33:20 GMT -5
I wonder how much in terms of taxpayer dollars them being idiots has cost. As for me I don't talk to my dad or his side of the family and my mom's side of the family is very small due to the fact that my great grandfather moved the family out here during the depression while everyone else stayed back east. For me it's pretty easy to not be involved with my family because we've never been super close, the grandparents are both dead now and everyone lives hundreds of miles away form each other.
If someone needs help we'd be there for them but at a point when everyone is an adult I'm not going to rush off to hold someone's hand. My two cousins are a couple of screw ups due to their parents but they're both adults now and the only people making excuses for them are their parents who support them financially. Obviously everything isn't as easy as just changing course when you have issues to deal with but people who know they need help and don't get it there's nothing I can do. I can't invest my time in situations like that which probably sounds bad and I realize it but it's got a lot to do with my experiences growing up.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Mar 6, 2013 14:34:02 GMT -5
Custody: I don't know how it is going to play out and we will have to wait and see. They have been trying to outdo each other in the "call the cops" department: Him: - called the cops on her when he came to pick up his son and he was not there - called the cops on her again for the same reason, she was at work and her aunt was babysitting. Her - call the cops on him for braking into the house - call the cops on him for taking her son and not having a car seat - call the cops on him because he tried to hit her, instead punched the wall.
- call the cops on him for refusing to give her the kid on her days. We will find found out in a couple of weeks when they go in front of a judge. Was the kid around on this one? She should have filed a restraining order against him for both her & the kid after this happened. Then she wouldn't be having all these additional problems & would be set up for full custody. As far as calling the cops on the other stuff - I would too. It is the best way to document these issues. Although since they had no formal agreement it was probably a complete waste of time regarding the pick-up schedules because they were not breaking any orders.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 6, 2013 14:41:34 GMT -5
I'd call the cops if he tried to hit me too. The rest of the stuff is bullshit.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Mar 6, 2013 14:48:19 GMT -5
I feel so sorry for this poor child!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 6, 2013 14:54:08 GMT -5
For sure. Crazy parents and no one sane, it seems, in his entire family. Tattoos, you gotta be kidding me!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 14:56:00 GMT -5
For sure. Crazy parents and no one sane, it seems, in his entire family. Tattoos, you gotta be kidding me! What's wrong with tattoos?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 6, 2013 15:00:13 GMT -5
She needs counseling not a tattoo. What does one have to do with another! It's like buying a purse, nice but ineffective.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 6, 2013 15:01:11 GMT -5
Tattooing as a group sounds a bit weird to me. I thought they were supposed to be personal. To each their own I suppose.....
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 15:07:11 GMT -5
Tattooing as a group sounds a bit weird to me. I thought they were supposed to be personal. To each their own I suppose..... No, group tattoos have been around for awhile: - siblings - family logo - fraternity/sorority - friends - couples Etc.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 15:10:28 GMT -5
As in help I don't know if she is getting any professional help or is on medication but - she has been hitting the gym everyday and now fits in her pre baby work pants - getting weekly mani/pedi - traveling - shopping
So she is definitely self medicating of that counts.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 6, 2013 15:17:21 GMT -5
For sure. Crazy parents and no one sane, it seems, in his entire family. Tattoos, you gotta be kidding me! What's wrong with tattoos? Absolutely nothing. I have one myself. HOwever, taking my cousin to get one in hopes of curing of her of her bipolar disorder is kinda crazy.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 6, 2013 15:24:27 GMT -5
Cawiau, Please go to the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill and click around in the site. There is tons of useful info here. Wifes cousin has classic symptoms of Bi-Polar Disorder - I know I have lived with it since I was a kid. I never want to babysit a bi-polar person who is not under treatment and or not being medicated. I would not consider my Dad violent, however in a state of mania he can get very agitated and hard to control. He also swears a lot and is very mean to my Mother (verbally) - things that are not charactersitic of him when he is well. I would not want to go on an airplane flight with a person who may very well flip out mid-flight. I also would not want to be in a foreign country trying to get said person treatment. If she did act up on the fight on the way to haiti, how do you get the airline to agree to let her get on a fight back to the US? My Dad once had a nervous breakdown in the lobby of his psychatrists office. It was decided that the best way to transport him to the hospital was to have the police do it. In Wisconsin you can be admited for psychiatric treatment against your will if you are a danger to yourself or others. Dad broke and expensive vase in the lobby b/c he was so out of control. The Police made all 7 Psychatrists in the building at the time sign off that Dad was a danger to himself or others. I applaud your family for the support they are giving your cousin. But the support they need to give her includes telling her she needs to be treated for the disease. Bi-polar disorder includes extreme highs and lows. It is not uncommon for people in lows to attempt suicide. If is often hard to tell if my Dad is having a bi-polar episode or not. Hindisght is 20/20. Bi-Polar people are very smart and can hold it together for short periods of time but not necessarily longer periods of time. My family "compares notes" or discusses behaviour we witness. We don't always decide to act, but I have frequently of late asked Mom to call and give Dad's Dr. a heads up on what we are seeing. My Dad is not resistant or in denial about his disease. He beleives he needs the medicine to stay well. He can usually be talked in to treatment too. But if all your family members don't acknowledge there is a disease to be treated, it will make it very difficult for her to get treatment. Sorry meant to give you a link: www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Mental_Illnesses/Bipolar1/Home_-_What_is_Bipolar_Disorder_.htmAs far as meds go there is a huge list. Dad is on Lithium, Depokote and Syroquel. There is a long list, some are easier on the body that others. Lithium is like the wonder drug for treating Bi-Polar but it is very hard on the Kidneys. Dad is down to a very minimal dose b/c his kidney function is not the best. They have tried lots of other drugs but he does not respond as well to the others.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 6, 2013 15:24:53 GMT -5
As in help I don't know if she is getting any professional help or is on medication but - she has been hitting the gym everyday and now fits in her pre baby work pants - getting weekly mani/pedi - traveling - shopping
You can't shop or exercise your way out of bipolar diorder.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 6, 2013 15:26:52 GMT -5
| That's the problem. Mrs. Cawiau's family "doesn't believe in mental illness." |
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 6, 2013 15:29:11 GMT -5
Well, that's makes it all better because if you don't believe in it, it isn't true.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 15:32:09 GMT -5
What's wrong with tattoos? Absolutely nothing. I have one myself. HOwever, taking my cousin to get one in hopes of curing of her of her bipolar disorder is kinda crazy. One she is technically not bi-polar. Since she only had one breakdown it was considered depression or something. The doctors said you need more than 1 episode for them to officially declare you bi-polar Two it is more of a show of support and family bond. He did a great job alienating her from her family when they were together and making them out to be her enemies. Now that he is gone they are rallying around her and showing support. So the tattoos is more of a family act/ blood is thicker than water type thing. The guy was a first class a hole ... I said that more than 5 years ago when I met him and I say it today still. Just having this jerk out of her life is a huge improvement in my book.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Mar 6, 2013 15:33:31 GMT -5
Tattooing as a group sounds a bit weird to me. I thought they were supposed to be personal. To each their own I suppose..... No, group tattoos have been around for awhile: - siblings - family logo - fraternity/sorority - friends - couples Etc. And again, I find that weird. But like I said, to each their own. I'm not opposed to tattoos but could never find anything I felt the need to permanently put on my body, I have serious doubt I'd find something I wanted to have as part of a group. Even as a part of a couple.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Mar 6, 2013 15:36:43 GMT -5
Absolutely nothing. I have one myself. HOwever, taking my cousin to get one in hopes of curing of her of her bipolar disorder is kinda crazy. One she is technically not bi-polar. Since she only had one breakdown it was considered depression or something. The doctors said you need more than 1 episode for them to officially declare you bi-polar Two it is more of a show of support and family bond. He did a great job alienating her from her family when they were together and making them out to be her enemies. Now that he is gone they are rallying around her and showing support. So the tattoos is more of a family act/ blood is thicker than water type thing. The guy was a first class a hole ... I said that more than 5 years ago when I met him and I say it today still. Just having this jerk out of her life is a huge improvement in my book. Problem is - he's NOT out of her life. He's very much an active part of the continuing chaos. And the poor kid is the football (getting kicked/punted between parents).
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Mar 6, 2013 15:42:31 GMT -5
Getting a tattoo as a show of support for a lost relative or friend is one thing but doing it as some kind of therapy is something else entirely. To each their own.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 6, 2013 15:42:38 GMT -5
He will never be out of her life and he will always be able to control her with said child.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 6, 2013 15:42:39 GMT -5
I remembered that Mrs. Cawiau's family does not beleve in Mental Illness.
I do not want them to become believers after she has a breakdown in public or she attempts suicide.
Cawiau, read through here and think about how many people here that have experience with bi-polar disorder are telling you she needs to be in treatment.
bi-polar tends to run in families. Dad's oldest brother served in WWII and after the war he was never quite right. It could be what we now recognize as Post Traumatic Stress - but my Uncle's behaviour was so extreme he was lucky not to be a street person. He got military treatment/housing for his illness all his life. But I was always extremely saddened to wonder if he had been treated for bi-Polar disorder early on, would he have been able to live on his own? I think he hit such exteme hights/lows he could never get back to normal.
Dad had another brother that was displaying some erratic behavior. He was treated for epilepsy. That treatment seemed to stabalize him. What got my Dad's family to fore brother into treatment was an auto accident in which he could have been killed. Mom said many epilepsy drugs are very effective at treating bi-polar disorder (aside: epilepsy drugs are also effective at treating/preventing migrane headaches. I saw some drugs my DD takes for migranes on the drug list for bi-polar) Maybe your family could pretend she has migranes or epilepsy and make sure she takes the drugs daily.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 6, 2013 15:45:10 GMT -5
These are the people who piss away money on weddings, designer clothes and expensive cars. Does anyone really think reality has anything to do with their lives! The tattoos are just an example of wrong thinking.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 6, 2013 15:55:12 GMT -5
You are in denial. It may not be "official" b/c the Dr's have not "witnessed" the behaviour, but she is bipolar.
My Dad was initally diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Bi-Polar is very treatable as long as there is not underlying drug or alchohol problems. Many people self medicate the highs with alchohol. the problem is that dependecy on drugs or alchohol interferes with drug treatment. The longer you ignore the problem the more barriers to successful treatment may pop up. Dad had only been observed in depression it took several years for the bi-polar to be diagnosed. After his first very public breakdown in a local fast food restaurant a Dr. Diagnosed him with bi-polar disorder. They put him on Lithium and 3 weeks later he was back to normal.
If your Aunt wasn't so invested in them not diagnosing the cousin as mentally ill and she described your cousin's erratic behaviour episodes to the Dr. they probably would find the additional episodes to make an accurate diagnosis.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 16:18:26 GMT -5
You are in denial. It may not be "official" b/c the Dr's have not "witnessed" the behaviour, but she is bipolar. Hey I am no MD and I haven't witness anything. Just saying exactly what the Dr said when she was hospitalized last time. And just because someone is taking care of them self, shopping and taking trips does not make them bi polar. She might be, she might not be.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 16:27:24 GMT -5
| That's the problem. Mrs. Cawiau's family "doesn't believe in mental illness." |
Nope. There is nothing that going to church and praying God won't fix.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 6, 2013 16:28:52 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2013 16:40:45 GMT -5
Everybody that thinks the cousin is bipolar, what are you basing this on? Yes she is depressed obviously (who wouldn't be in those circumstances?) but I think everybody is throwing the "bipolar" around too loosely. If an MD didn't think so, what makes any of you more of an expert to claim someone whom you never met has a bipolar disorder? I cannot stand when people diagnose others. It just reminds me of how my ex-H called me crazy, bipolar, etc when in fact my only problem was HIM and the fact that I had just given birth to a 25-weeker!
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 6, 2013 16:42:02 GMT -5
Yep and when Dad is in a bi-polar high he is trying to save the world - it is very important or he won't get into heaven. He is also very invested in politics. He gets extremely upset if things don't go his way and feels like the world is going to end.
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