The kid thread: Planning, pregnancy & parenting

[raeoflyte]

I realize this is a problem because we border too close to the helicopter range, but they moved up the middle school start time so the kids schools start at the same time. Dc wants to bike to school which I love, but 2 middle schoolers were hit by cars and died last year so I'm not ready to stop biking with them. Ds doesn't like crossing the major intersection that he has to to get to school when he walks. It's better going home because there's a horde of kids crossing at least. But in the morning he's usually crossing alone during rush.

Most likely ds will be dropped off super early and picked up late. He may drop study center since he'll effectively have his own version of it.

[raeoflyte]

I applied for bus transportation for both kids to deal with the conflicting schedule. It would be preferable for ds but figured I'd fill one out for dc too since they're not guaranteed to be approved- but truthfully the busses leaving the high-school are never full. My bigger concern is if they would let him bring his cello. The form says they don't allow instruments that aren't lap sized.

[NastyWoman]

I urgently need some book  recommendations for a 7yo boy going into second grade. He limes "adventury" type of books. My problem is that while his comprehension is very good, his reading ability is not quite as good due to the fact that he is taught in German (where his reading skills are ahead).

Up until last night I was not too worried about getting the perfect book but then DS2 texted that DGS2 had fallen off the monkey bars in Texas*
and broken his arm. Normally when they are here we spend about half of the time in the pool but that won't be possible so I'm desperately looking for something else.  I don't know yet what kind of break or how much mobility he has. DDIL and the kids are visiting her family at the moment while DS2 is at work in Germany so all my info is second hand. They'll all be here in a week and a half. Any help/tips will be appreciated. 

[raeoflyte]

Aug 6, 2024 11:41:35 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I urgently need some book  recommendations for a 7yo boy going into second grade. He limes "adventury" type of books. My problem is that while his comprehension is very good, his reading ability is not quite as good due to the fact that he is taught in German (where his reading skills are ahead).

Up until last night I was not too worried about getting the perfect book but then DS2 texted that DGS2 had fallen off the monkey bars in Texas*
and broken his arm. Normally when they are here we spend about half of the time in the pool but that won't be possible so I'm desperately looking for something else.  I don't know yet what kind of break or how much mobility he has. DDIL and the kids are visiting her family at the moment while DS2 is at work in Germany so all my info is second hand. They'll all be here in a week and a half. Any help/tips will be appreciated. 

For reading on their own - Magic treehouse series.

Reading w/ adult- Lamd of stories series.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 6, 2024 11:41:35 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I urgently need some book  recommendations for a 7yo boy going into second grade. He limes "adventury" type of books. My problem is that while his comprehension is very good, his reading ability is not quite as good due to the fact that he is taught in German (where his reading skills are ahead).

Up until last night I was not too worried about getting the perfect book but then DS2 texted that DGS2 had fallen off the monkey bars in Texas*
and broken his arm. Normally when they are here we spend about half of the time in the pool but that won't be possible so I'm desperately looking for something else.  I don't know yet what kind of break or how much mobility he has. DDIL and the kids are visiting her family at the moment while DS2 is at work in Germany so all my info is second hand. They'll all be here in a week and a half. Any help/tips will be appreciated. 

Ooh-- Judy Blume books too like Tales of a 4th grade Nothing and Superfudge were popular with my kids at that age. And The Willoughby's for reading with an adult.

[Peace77]

Aug 6, 2024 11:41:35 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I urgently need some book  recommendations for a 7yo boy going into second grade. He limes "adventury" type of books. My problem is that while his comprehension is very good, his reading ability is not quite as good due to the fact that he is taught in German (where his reading skills are ahead).

Up until last night I was not too worried about getting the perfect book but then DS2 texted that DGS2 had fallen off the monkey bars in Texas*
and broken his arm. Normally when they are here we spend about half of the time in the pool but that won't be possible so I'm desperately looking for something else.  I don't know yet what kind of break or how much mobility he has. DDIL and the kids are visiting her family at the moment while DS2 is at work in Germany so all my info is second hand. They'll all be here in a week and a half. Any help/tips will be appreciated. 

Ask the local children’s librarian.  

[lurkyloo]

DS likes books that are heavy on illustrations:

Geronimo Stilton series
Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
Dav Pilkey (Dog Man, Captain Underpants)
Last Kids on Earth (post apocalyptic middle schoolers living off Mountain Dew and packaged Twinkies and variously allying with and fighting extraterrestrial aliens/monsters)

Also agree with raeoflyte ’s suggestions.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

It's an old one but you can still find copies on Thrift.com I really liked the Indian in a Cupboard books at that age.  

My kids are obsessed with Diary of a Wimpy Kid.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 7, 2024 8:29:02 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

DS like books that are heavy on illustrations:

Geronimo Stilton series
Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
Dav Pilkey (Dog Man, Captain Underpants)
Last Kids on Earth (post apocalyptic middle schoolers living off Mountain Dew and packaged Twinkies and variously allying with and fighting extraterrestrial aliens/monsters)

Also agree with raeoflyte’s suggestions.

Dav Pilkey and Last Kids on Earth! My nephew is going in to 2nd grade too and I needed to get the good ones to keep our status with giving the best books.

[lurkyloo]

Aug 7, 2024 8:59:36 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 7, 2024 8:29:02 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

DS like books that are heavy on illustrations:

Geronimo Stilton series
Diary of a Wimpy Kid series
Dav Pilkey (Dog Man, Captain Underpants)
Last Kids on Earth (post apocalyptic middle schoolers living off Mountain Dew and packaged Twinkies and variously allying with and fighting extraterrestrial aliens/monsters)

Also agree with raeoflyte ’s suggestions.

Dav Pilkey and Last Kids on Earth! My nephew is going in to 2nd grade too and I needed to get the good ones to keep our status with giving the best books.

Definitely!  Gotta keep up your street cred     Hot Topic makes LKoE t shirts albeit adult sizes.
Geronimo Stilton is a little sweeter/gentler than the others, but kinda nuts and very action packed.

DS is currently finishing the House with a Clock In Its Walls entire series (original author only wrote 3 but left notes and someone else wrote several more).  I was really impressed with the Kelley Armstrong royal monster hunter series-hits hard but enforces a very modern sort of morality, I thought, in terms of understanding animals/monsters and not just randomly killing them out of fear for following their instincts. And the Patricia C Wrede dealing with dragons series is hilarious.  Those are mostly a little much for a 7yo I think though…in some cases even when reading with an adult. Where the mountain meets the moon is a neat cross-cultural (Chinese) book that might work for a 7yo. Larger type, some pictures.

(I need to stop now or else I’ll go on forever 

[raeoflyte]

Aug 7, 2024 9:19:19 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Aug 7, 2024 8:59:36 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Dav Pilkey and Last Kids on Earth! My nephew is going in to 2nd grade too and I needed to get the good ones to keep our status with giving the best books.

Definitely!  Gotta keep up your street cred     Hot Topic makes LKoE t shirts albeit adult sizes.
Geronimo Stilton is a little sweeter/gentler than the others, but kinda nuts and very action packed.

DS is currently finishing the House with a Clock In Its Walls entire series (original author only wrote 3 but left notes and someone else wrote several more).  I was really impressed with the Kelley Armstrong royal monster hunter series-hits hard but enforces a very modern sort of morality, I thought, in terms of understanding animals/monsters and not just randomly killing them out of fear for following their instincts. And the Patricia C Wrede dealing with dragons series is hilarious.  Those are mostly a little much for a 7yo I think though…in some cases even when reading with an adult. Where the mountain meets the moon is a neat cross-cultural (Chinese) book that might work for a 7yo. Larger type, some pictures.

(I need to stop now or else I’ll go on forever 

Book talk is so fun though! I have time to myself and might try to get Indian in the Cupboard to reread for myself. I wasn't sure if that had aged well but trust Drama's opinion.

[azucena]

Fourth prescription sleeping pill type is officially working for bonus teen. That along with a few shifts per week at Plato's closet has her sleeping through the night for the first times since she moved in. She also seems to be getting along with her therapist. Working on low hanging stuff right now but it's all progress. Great timing for school to start 8/19.

[NastyWoman]

Thanks guys for all your recommendations. You are awesome

[NastyWoman]

HELP!!! I'm back. 

That broken arm is such that DGS2 can't do anything with it. Today they put in pins and it will get a full cast. So I'm calling on you again for "one-armed" activity ideas for a very active 7yo.

I never thought that not having had a kid with a broken bone would work against me, yet here I am. I have come up with a few ideas but the kid has always had severe motion sickness so whale watching or similar ideas are out. Please give me ideas, any idea, of what worked for your kids, nephews/nieces/siblings. I'm kind of desperately - a stay with oma just HAS TO BE fun

ETA: I did get books based on your recommendations already.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 12, 2024 12:25:21 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

HELP!!! I'm back. 

That broken arm is such that DGS2 can't do anything with it. Today they put in pins and it will get a full cast. So I'm calling on you again for "one-armed" activity ideas for a very active 7yo.

I never thought that not having had a kid with a broken bone would work against me, yet here I am. I have come up with a few ideas but the kid has always had severe motion sickness so whale watching or similar ideas are out. Please give me ideas, any idea, of what worked for your kids, nephews/nieces/siblings. I'm kind of desperately - a stay with oma just HAS TO BE fun

ETA: I did get books based on your recommendations already.

Museums, zoo, wildlife preserves, planetarium, imax...

[steph08]

My DD10 had a full arm cast (up past the elbow) for three weeks, then a cast to the elbow and a brace for another 8 weeks last year.

She still did most activities even with her arm- hiking, one-handed basketball, etc. No swimming as she had a wound from where her bone popped out. Of course it slowed her down, but with the full arm cast, she had a sling and could do just about anything.

What about a walking tour of San Francisco (I think you're around there?), museums, food tour, etc.?

For the full arm cast, my daughter had to have this foam contraption that held it propped up all night, so you might want to ask if you need to order one (it would have been bulky to take on a plane or pack).

[Peace77]

Any factories with tours or perhaps a large bakery could arrange a visit.  

ice cream treats

[NastyWoman]

Aug 12, 2024 12:43:10 GMT -5 steph08 said:

My DD10 had a full arm cast (up past the elbow) for three weeks, then a cast to the elbow and a brace for another 8 weeks last year.

She still did most activities even with her arm- hiking, one-handed basketball, etc. No swimming as she had a wound from where her bone popped out. Of course it slowed her down, but with the full arm cast, she had a sling and could do just about anything.

What about a walking tour of San Francisco (I think you're around there?), museums, food tour, etc.?

For the full arm cast, my daughter had to have this foam contraption that held it propped up all night, so you might want to ask if you need to order one (it would have been bulky to take on a plane or pack).*

Thanks. So when you say anything, did that include things like Lego? It is one of his favorite things and I do have plenty (I kept all I had for his father and uncle). The walking tour of SF goes on my list of ideas.

*ETA: I didn't think about needing to keep the arm propped up. Send a text to DDIL to see if that is needed. I don't want her to worry about having to drag that along. DS2 will fly in from Munich as he needed to be there for work while DDIL and the kids are in Texas visiting her family. So for the flight to SF she only has help from het 10yo and he has ADHD so I am not sure how much help that will be.

[steph08]

Legos were a bit hard because she couldn't manipulate her fingers in the usual way because of the cast. She did try to do them but got frustrated.

[azucena]

I've been calling twice a week bugging the oral surgeon to see if they have any cancellations. Last night teen spoke up about it being especially painful. Receptionist who picked up this morning was a new voice so I whined and exaggerated that teen couldn't sleep bc it hurt so much. Um, you guys, a spot 'magically' opened Fri next week instead of 9/10. Got off the phone, cursed about how stupid our healthcare is, and then patted myself on the back.

Teen gave me a fist bump when she saw it rescheduled in her calendar.

Trifling nut's eviction now means that teen's siblings are very much at risk of not being placed/bussed to our school system but instead stuck in downtown public schools where they are very likely to face trouble. UGH!

Teen has been crying most of a day ever 2-3 days or so but unable/unwilling to explain why. I told her I think it's because she's finally sleeping pretty consistently and her emotions can release. I also know that she's missing her siblings, particularly the 3 yr old whom she practically raised.

She fessed up this morning to being overwhelmed at work. Plato's closet is so many people in/out and a shift has somewhere between 8-15 workers. She got tagged for a babysitting job 2-3 days per week providing after school care for a 7 yr old. A little more driving on my part but also concerned about what happens if she needs a mental health day. We're going to set up a mtg with the parents.

Mtg Friday with legal aid to represent bonus teen and see what paperwork we can get put in place as far as her deciding where to live (her new therapist said that mom still has rights to pull her back at any time which is hard to live with) and medical power.

School starts Mon.

[raeoflyte]

Aug 13, 2024 15:15:30 GMT -5 azucena said:

I've been calling twice a week bugging the oral surgeon to see if they have any cancellations. Last night teen spoke up about it being especially painful. Receptionist who picked up this morning was a new voice so I whined and exaggerated that teen couldn't sleep bc it hurt so much. Um, you guys, a spot 'magically' opened Fri next week instead of 9/10. Got off the phone, cursed about how stupid our healthcare is, and then patted myself on the back.

Teen gave me a fist bump when she saw it rescheduled in her calendar.

Trifling nut's eviction now means that teen's siblings are very much at risk of not being placed/bussed to our school system but instead stuck in downtown public schools where they are very likely to face trouble. UGH!

Teen has been crying most of a day ever 2-3 days or so but unable/unwilling to explain why. I told her I think it's because she's finally sleeping pretty consistently and her emotions can release. I also know that she's missing her siblings, particularly the 3 yr old whom she practically raised.

She fessed up this morning to being overwhelmed at work. Plato's closet is so many people in/out and a shift has somewhere between 8-15 workers. She got tagged for a babysitting job 2-3 days per week providing after school care for a 7 yr old. A little more driving on my part but also concerned about what happens if she needs a mental health day. We're going to set up a mtg with the parents.

Mtg Friday with legal aid to represent bonus teen and see what paperwork we can get put in place as far as her deciding where to live (her new therapist said that mom still has rights to pull her back at any time which is hard to live with) and medical power.

School starts Mon.

That's a lot. Lots of good stuff and heavy stuff. Thinking of you all.

[finnime]

azucena, is BT starting her senior or her junior year? That can be a lot of added stress as well, I'm sure you know. Also for your DD's.

[azucena]

Two juniors and a sixth grader. Gonna be lots of emotions next week.

Teen is getting her hair done today. Just dropped her off and gotta go back in 5 hours.

[TheOtherMe]

Bonus Teen should feel better once the teeth are fixed.  At least that pain will be gone.

[azucena]

Teen's hair appt didn't wrap up until 11 pm, so I'm gonna need all the coffee today. I'll never not be in awe of her whole hair care routine. I forget the name of the style that she told me and dare not ask for a third time. I'm also not allowed to say it's cute but apparently DD12 is lol.

We went with DD12 last night to drop off supplies and set up her locker. She's already had one and we picked an easier number dial lock so no stress from that. She also showed off her good sense of direction so seems to have a handle on finding her classes. This morning she left for 6th grade orientation with her best friend across the street and was very upbeat.

DD16 has a coffee date this afternoon with a female pastor that we hit it off with at a new church that we're trying. We've definitely decided to leave our old LCMS (super conservative and how I was born and raised) church behind along with the school change, but I've been dawdling on visiting many new ones because I'm just too hurt over the way we were treated. Both DDs and I went back for a third time to an ECLA (liberal Lutheran) this past weekend and this pastor made a point to introduce herself. Plus her sermon was about finding your life's purpose and she gave hers as an example and it was about helping the church to welcome everyone particularly the marginalized and those hurt by other churches. Hit me right in the feels and I could tell it impacted DD too. Both of my girls commented to the pastor about how they found it refreshing to see a female leader (not allowed in LCMS) and that led to DD16 showing the pastor her note app lengthy, lengthy list of theological questions which led to coffee date. Pastor prob won both of us over when she said she wouldn't claim to have all of the answers, our prior pastors would never admit that.

One drawback is the church lacks POC but that's gonna be true of most any church within 20 mins of our house. I do think it's a sign that this pastor is married to a POC and they have young kids so she will have some insight into our experience. I asked directly about it and the pastor said their church is trying to do more and they have a social justice outreach group which is promising.

[TheOtherMe]

We had a reporter on a local television station adopt two Black infants.  I can't believe the oldest is going in to 6th grade this year.

She taught herself to do Black hair because she knew nothing about it.  I was amazed that they would spent the entire day on a Saturday doing their hair.  She has had Black stylists come to the house to teach her and she taken them to Black stylists as a treat.  With 4 kids, it isn't possible to always have their hair done professionally.

The church where I worked was ELCA.  When women as pastors were approved and gay and lesbian pastors, there was a split in this area in Lutheran Churches.  The church where I worked stayed ELCA.  For me, I still thought it was conservative, but I'm a heathen agnostic, so what do I know.  

The Youth group went to a youth gathering in New Orleans while I was there.  Every day, they were out working in the community.

[raeoflyte]

Anyone have lunch box/bento box/Tupperware you really like? I am decisioned out.

Ds lunchbox is skinny and can really only hold the bentobox style. Our yumboxes finally broke and are kind of small but I need something like that for him that seals so each compartment doesn't leak.

Dc has a huge lunch box so a lot more options, but I still just stare at our million lids, 4 containers, and think the whole system sucks.

[azucena]

DD12 had a great orientation day Thursday and came back naming 4 new possible friends all with B names so Teen said she'd have to choose one or DH will be confused bc he can never keep girls' names straight. All 3 left in good spirits this morning for first day of school. HOUSE ALL TO MYSELF!

Legal aid appt was beyond worthwhile. Teen clammed up a bit so I may have talked too much to outline her situation, but then eventually she very politely asked me to leave the room lol. Not 5 mins later, I can hear them laughing so loud from the waiting room. No idea why and didn't ask but just another example of bonus teen lighting up a room.

Learned that MO doesn't have emancipation laws. Can never get it to pass in this red state. Qualified minor status that therapist mentioned requires Nut sign off which isn't likely to happen. Lawyer has ways to work with children's services to get measures put in place that teen is not to return home; also had ideas about healthcare but it's tricky. Lawyer is on call for Friday's dental appt if Nut doesn't show. She may be able to throw her weight around enough to get teen seen anyway.

They were smart enough to ask if Nut has ever put utilities and such in teen's name...unfortunately yes and they are going to track that down and likely lock credit. DH and I are kinda kicking herself that we didn't think of this particularly as his folks played that game with his credit. They will also help her get bank account in her own name (we set up one in our name and gave her a debit card with my name on it, was the best we could do), soc sec card, and gave us all the tips about getting driver's permit.

School social worker must have completed a ton of paperwork for us before the end of the school year bc my inbox has been flooded. Basically the school district considers Teen homeless since she isn't living with a guardian. This opens up a ton of help including free lunches and covers fees for things like homecoming and theater conferences (anything needed to help her have a 'normal' school experience). It should also wipe our her current fee balance of $400 which is mostly left from 6th grade camp and stands in the way of us signing her up online for anything. Most of all, if she maintains this status for next year, she can file FASFA on her own without Nut and should be eligible for the most college fin aid possible. Teen was reluctant to claim homeless status until she heard this part and then she was all smiles. Means that unless something changes, DH and I won't pursue any sort of guardianship bc this method seems to be in her best interest.

School semi-recognizes me as guardian if only for the fact that their online system is too old to have enough placeholders so they've listed me as primary and Nut as secondary parent.

If you're my fb friend, I rarely post but put up a link to theater officers which includes pics of DD16 and Teen. Being careful not to post about her directly bc we assume Nut and others are watching our profiles.

[TheOtherMe]

Thank you for taking on the care and loving of Bonus Teen.  She will be a better person because of it.  

[azucena]

DD12 continues to love her new school and meet new people. Sounds like most of her teachers are going to be really good. There's only 1 / 8 that she's not sure about. Seems like they are spending a lot of time these first few days talking about the character values of the school with a big one being no tolerance for bullying including a complete discussion of the consequences with suspension being one of them. Multiple teachers have also made the point to say that joking is no excuse for bullying. DD has done a complete 180 in terms of mindset and thoughts. She's upbeat and shrugging off minor things instead of dwelling on them. I could almost pinch myself to make sure this is real.