TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 7, 2024 14:08:29 GMT -5
The image of the 3 girls in your bed watching a game is so heartwarming.
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jun 20, 2024 5:26:46 GMT -5
DD got a job! She'll be an RN in a very nice skilled nursing facility/rehab center, working 3 - 9 pm 5 days a week which is considered full time! She'll be quite well paid. She's happy, I'm happy. She'll get a collapsible cane to use when she's tired and off-balance.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jun 25, 2024 6:57:53 GMT -5
Up at 5 this morning to get to walk-in dental clinic by 6 to be second in line. I think it opens at 8. By 630 there were 15 in line. Here's hoping bonus teen gets in and they can pull bad tooth. This has taken way too many phone calls with varying answers. This clinic is supposed to be connected to the one where Trifling nut gave me medical proxy so cross our fingers and also hope that it covers dental.
Then I'll need to continue to call the same chain for psych appt before she runs out of meds in 3 weeks.
Medicaid sucks. Can hardly ever get live person on the phone and almost never get called back.
Eta I did get medical Dr to give antibiotics which teen finished last night in anticipation of this visit. Teen made a good impression on Dr so she made an exception.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jun 25, 2024 7:02:23 GMT -5
Teen gave up on camp after 2 weeks. She said it just didn't feel the same. I think at least half of it was homesickness and FOMO. Poor kid just found stability and then life changed again.
She's had 2 interviews for movie theaters and 3 more lined up tomorrow. She's a go getter.
She's got two weeks left of summer ecology online class and is pulling an A. I never have to prompt her to work on it. When I do ask, she gets confused bc no one ever checked on her class work before.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jun 25, 2024 8:35:03 GMT -5
I'm not a parent but I agree with you that Teen is enjoying the stability she has never had in her life. More power to her and to you and your family for caring enough to take her in.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 12, 2024 12:04:57 GMT -5
Sitting here in tears because I'm still trying to chase down frickin' oral surgery extraction for bonus teen.
She told me she had major tooth pain early April. We got mom to do walk-in dental appt 4/12 where they prescribed antibiotics. Then we weren't able to be seen again until 6/25 when we gave up waiting for an appt and got in walk-in line at 5 am for dental school which seems to be the 'better' Medicaid dental care place. They agreed it needed to be pulled and we went back 7/1 where we had to wait 2 hours past our appt time. They couldn't get it couldn't get it numb enough even after 10 shots so they referred us to oral surgery center. I've been playing phone tag with them since then. Finally got a live person and she says they don't have appts for patients ages 12-17 for the next few weeks and to keep calling back every week to check for appt. What kind of fucking system is that?! I politely asked her to take down my number and put us on a waitlist that maybe exists or maybe doesn't. No one will refill her dental pain meds in the meantime, so on really bad days we're replicating with OTC tylenol and ibuprofen. Fortunately she seems to have a high pain tolerance but why is the world is any of this happening in the US?!
In the meantime, I'm also making phone call after phone call to get teen psych appt for med management and to start therapy. Appts scheduled next week and now mom gave permission for treatment at trauma center that we did intake paperwork for in early April. That place seems like a much better option for therapy than the Medicaid system office, so I'll restart paperwork there again and make some more calls.
And her job insisted that she needs either birth cert or soc sec card even though legally she only needs soc sec number, so she missed orientation group because mom refused to provide them. That all blew up while I was traveling for work earlier this week. DH drove her up to mom's house and waited outside while teen fussed at her mom to eventually get birth cert which now means she can apply for new soc sec card and eventually driver's permit. Meanwhile this gives teen two more weeks to sit twiddling her thumbs and feeling frustrated that she hasn't been able to earn her own money this summer.
I also continue to play phone tag with soc worker.
My work mentor suggested leaning into EAP for legal help, so put that on phone call list. Did I mention that I HATE making phone calls?!
Like Drama says, no good deed goes unpunished.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 12, 2024 12:19:07 GMT -5
This all here is why I roll my eyes so hard I can see the back of my brain when posters harp on how people on benefits supposedly are living the good life and will do anything to scam the system to get on it.
I am not saying there aren't idiots or scammers but those people are the exception. I HIGHLY doubt the majority of people dealing with these systems want to be on it and would given anything to get to a place where they can get off them.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jul 12, 2024 12:43:44 GMT -5
I recall reading the account of a grandmother who tried to find a dentist who would accept Medicaid for her 12 year old grandson with an accessed tooth. She couldn’t find anyone and sadly the infection went to his brain and killed him.
Is there any way that you can pay for a dentist to take care of this tooth?
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 12, 2024 12:53:41 GMT -5
This all here is why I roll my eyes so hard I can see the back of my brain when posters harp on how people on benefits supposedly are living the good life and will do anything to scam the system to get on it. I am not saying there aren't idiots or scammers but those people are the exception. I HIGHLY doubt the majority of people dealing with these systems want to be on it and would given anything to get to a place where they can get off them. Amen! Teen left last dentist appt in tears. While I was talking to the dentist about next steps, there were literally two other patients in this weird open concept dental procedure room screaming while they were having major medical work done...clearly they weren't medicated enough. I handed teen my car keys and said go wait outside.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 12, 2024 13:02:48 GMT -5
I recall reading the account of a grandmother who tried to find a dentist who would accept Medicaid for her 12 year old grandson with an accessed tooth. She couldn’t find anyone and sadly the infection went to his brain and killed him. Is there any way that you can pay for a dentist to take care of this tooth? The mom refuses to give me medical proxy for anywhere outside of Medicaid system. I think in her mind this gives me power over her/teen even though I'd be able to help provide much better, more timely medical care.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jul 12, 2024 13:08:28 GMT -5
I recall reading the account of a grandmother who tried to find a dentist who would accept Medicaid for her 12 year old grandson with an accessed tooth. She couldn’t find anyone and sadly the infection went to his brain and killed him. Is there any way that you can pay for a dentist to take care of this tooth? The mom refuses to give me medical proxy for anywhere outside of Medicaid system. I think in her mind this gives me power over her/teen even though I'd be able to help provide much better, more timely medical care. Does she know how difficult it has been to get her daughter’s tooth fixed through Medicaid and how much pain she is in? She’s a real *things I should not say here* for not doing everything she can to help get this addressed.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 12, 2024 13:42:13 GMT -5
The mom refuses to give me medical proxy for anywhere outside of Medicaid system. I think in her mind this gives me power over her/teen even though I'd be able to help provide much better, more timely medical care. Does she know how difficult it has been to get her daughter’s tooth fixed through Medicaid and how much pain she is in? She’s a real *things I should not say here* for not doing everything she can to help get this addressed. She barely responded to get us set up and meet at first appt and only gave me medical proxy at the one major Medicaid provider after I called the hotline and reported her for medical neglect. At this point, she's answering every text from both teen and me with just send teen home. Teen's taken to saying she just needs me to babysit, cook and clean all summer. Meanwhile, I've had to keep telling teen our expectations of our girls is an hour-ish daily of chores in the summer because teen was helping too much and that's just not expected. Oh, she did text teen something about not liking her current hair choice based on instagram selfie. Teen choose to have it colored and then wear it more natural. Teen was completely happy with it until that text. Again, who does that?! Teen can't remember her last pediatrician visit or dental cleaning/checkup. She's noticed me taking the girls and had no idea those were supposed to be an annual thing. Teen also asked to shadow DH thru online bill pay for electricity and such bc she's curious and looking towards future responsibilities. So frustrating also that Nut couldn't pull it together enough to give teen documents needed for job. To complicate things further, Nut and rest of family are getting evicted which puts her siblings in jeopardy for being bussed to our better school district and has teen very worried. Teen knows one way out is getting an education and they'll be much less likely to succeed in local school. Teen offered to come help box up her stuff as a way to possibly get some of her stuff but that was a no go.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 12, 2024 14:14:53 GMT -5
Sounds like Teen is used to being used as the caregiver all summer and having all of the responsibility. She thinks she has to work to exist?
With everything that is happening in her life, doing an hour of daily chores around the house seems appropriate. It sounds like she really appreciates what you and your family are doing for her but the Nut on the other hand......
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jul 12, 2024 15:47:16 GMT -5
Azucena,
Can you just tell the dentist that you are the teen’s guardian?
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finnime
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Post by finnime on Jul 12, 2024 16:01:45 GMT -5
Wow, azucena. Nut is committing medical neglect for her daughter and you are Teen's refuge. You are doing a very valuable service for Teen. Fingers crossed that she is able to get the tooth taken care of.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jul 12, 2024 16:09:29 GMT -5
Does she know how difficult it has been to get her daughter’s tooth fixed through Medicaid and how much pain she is in? She’s a real *things I should not say here* for not doing everything she can to help get this addressed. She barely responded to get us set up and meet at first appt and only gave me medical proxy at the one major Medicaid provider after I called the hotline and reported her for medical neglect. At this point, she's answering every text from both teen and me with just send teen home. Teen's taken to saying she just needs me to babysit, cook and clean all summer. Meanwhile, I've had to keep telling teen our expectations of our girls is an hour-ish daily of chores in the summer because teen was helping too much and that's just not expected. Oh, she did text teen something about not liking her current hair choice based on instagram selfie. Teen choose to have it colored and then wear it more natural. Teen was completely happy with it until that text. Again, who does that?! Teen can't remember her last pediatrician visit or dental cleaning/checkup. She's noticed me taking the girls and had no idea those were supposed to be an annual thing. Teen also asked to shadow DH thru online bill pay for electricity and such bc she's curious and looking towards future responsibilities. So frustrating also that Nut couldn't pull it together enough to give teen documents needed for job. To complicate things further, Nut and rest of family are getting evicted which puts her siblings in jeopardy for being bussed to our better school district and has teen very worried. Teen knows one way out is getting an education and they'll be much less likely to succeed in local school. Teen offered to come help box up her stuff as a way to possibly get some of her stuff but that was a no go. I am having trouble responding to these posts because it pisses me off so much (not at all at you and your family, but at her Mom and “the system”) that I want to say a lot of things that I should not say, and use profanity that I should not use in polite company. But at the same time, I want to offer moral support for you, your family and bonus teen. So imma just try to be logical more than emotional. I really think you need some professional guidance, even if you have to pay for it, if you are committed to doing what you can for bonus teen. I understand that that’s a lot to ask of you, when you are just trying to help a minor child that you didn’t give birth to. But in my uneducated opinion, the money spent on having somebody guide you and help you fight these battles, would probably be worth it in terms of reducing the stress for you. “Just send teen home” is bullshit, because there are reasons that teen is not in that home. I understand why bonus teen may be doing more than you expect from the children in your home, because 1. It’s probably hard for her to adjust to not having to do all the stuff at home that she’s been doing for as long as she can remember and 2. Because she seems to have good character, it may be her way of trying to show her appreciation for what you and your family have been doing for her. If number 2 is part of the reason, imo, that is a fine line for you to try to walk, to try to get her to understand that it’s not necessary, while not injuring her pride from her own sense of integrity, that is telling her to take care of the people in some way, that are taking care of her. If that’s why she’s doing it, it’s not a bad thing, it speaks to her having good character. I am just suggesting that you tread carefully, depending on the reason why she is helping more than you expect or even want her to. I will share something personal. A couple months ago, my DGS, the oldest of my grandchildren came to spend the night with me, just him. The first few hours he was here, he kept trying to do this or that or help me do this or that. I know why he was doing that. So I told him look, I just want you to just be a kid and relax and do kid stuff tonight and tomorrow. I have the adult stuff covered. I appreciate you wanting to do stuff and help me, but I’m good. Just relax and enjoy spending the night with your Nana. There are other things in your last post that I wanted to speak on, but I don’t want to make yet another long(er) post, so I will just leave it alone. Except to say that you and your family are awesome for embracing bonus teen, her Mom sounds like something even worse than a piece of shit, and bonus teen sounds like a great person, and even more so because it is despite her biological mother and biological mom’s issues that cause her to not be a decent parent.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jul 12, 2024 17:29:39 GMT -5
So thinking about azucena’s situation today, dredged up some old memories that in hindsight, may help to explain why people in positions of authority might be reluctant to get involved if there is nothing in place that they can legally enforce. Way back when we were in the MSN boards, my daughter and I started having issues when she was around 15yo. That is when I started family counseling with my children (my sin was also having some issues, but was not angry with me like DD was). Neither of them really participated in the counseling, even though I paid for them to have individual sessions too, where they could say whatever they wanted to say without me being present. When it became clear that they weren’t cooperating, I just kept going by myself to individual sessions to try to figure out what was wrong with me and how I could try to be the best Mom I could be. DD stayed angry with me for years, and it wasn’t until a random conversation 6 or 7 years ago, when she was in her late 20’s, that I finally learned why. That day and that conversation changed everything, because what she had been so angry with me about for so many years, was something her kiddie brain believed all those years, and her adult brain realized that day, was not true. All of those years wasted with us fighting and me not understanding why, because I knew in my heart how much I loved my children and how I would’ve fought a bear or the devil himself, or even me if I was the problem, to try to protect them, and it all boiled down to some misunderstandings that she held against me, but never told me about, to give me a chance to tell and show her that her perception was not correct. Anyway, because her birthday is late in the year, she turned 18 during her senior year in high school. She had a close friend that she’d gone to school with since elementary school. That friend’s Mother decided to give my daughter a cell phone for Christmas their senior year. I had the means to provide DD with a cell phone, and I had, but I took it after she started failing classes at school. I told her she could have it back (or another one, since I eventually terminated the service for it), if she started making at least C’s in her classes. My daughter is smart, she made a 24 the first time she took the ACT, so I knew she was capable of making better than C’s, but I settled on at least C’s to just try to give her incentive to improve her grades to get a cell phone again. So I got mad when her friend’s Mom gave her a cell phone for Christmas, and I told DD she had to give it back. That night, after I went in my bedroom, I thought DD was in her bedroom, but I discovered that she had left the house. Her friends’ Mom had come to get her for DD to come live with her and her DD. At no pint during any of this or after, did the other Mom try to have a conversation with me. Once it all unfolded, I figured out why she was doing what she was doing, and even in hindsight years later, I still believe I was right about her reasons. So I didn’t try to make DD come back home. She was 18yo and I had no authority over her anymore anyway. But some months later, I went to the high school for something to do with DS one morning, and when I was signing the check in sheet, I saw DD’s name at the top of the sheet, and that her friend’s Mom had signed to check her out of school early the day before. So I asked one of the ladies working in the office, if a student is 18yo or older, is it okay for someone not listed on the forms we fill out, to check them out of school. She said that the rules are the rules, regardless of the student’s age. I said okay, I need to speak to a Principal. It was an assistant principal that came to speak to me, because he was the one that allowed it to happen. I already had a low opinion of him because although I’d never dealt with him I knew who he was and that he’d been moved around in the school system because of allegations of sexual misconduct with students. So he pleaded his case with me, saying that that DD and her friend’s Mom had told him a sad story and that was why he let the friend’s Mom check my daughter out of school that day, even though he knew it was against the rules. Well guess what, that particular day, DD’s friend had had minor surgery and it made sense for her Mom to check my daughter out of school, given what I’d already figured was her reason for wanting DD to live with them in the first place. It was all just a big ass mess, but my point is that I could have gotten that principal in some trouble if I’d wanted too. I just wanted him to know that I knew he did something wrong regardless of her age. My DD was 18yo, so otherwise, I had to let her be the adult she was trying to be, and sit back. BUT, she was still on my medical, dental and vision insurance. And no matter what she did or how angry I got with her, if she needed medical care, I would’ve come through to make sure it happened, even if that meant I had to pay copays and coinsurance or whatever, out of my pocket. Which actually happened when she got pregnant with DGS after she ran off to live with his biological father and his family, in another state. That is a whole ‘nother story, but it’s the reason why I say my DGS is my million dollar baby. The point of this long ass post, is to say that I’ve been through a lot of shit with my daughter. But even with everything that has happened between us, I cannot imagine me not doing what I can to help her with a medical issue. I don’t care how upset I might have been about my own life or even with her, I could have never sat back and just let her be on her own with a medical issue, even if it was not serious like bonus teen’s dental problems are. I couldn’t even do that when my DD was a young adult, so a minor child….WTF?!
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2024 10:43:53 GMT -5
Pink - thanks for sharing all of that. Curious about this statement if you feel up to sharing more
"Once it all unfolded, I figured out why she was doing what she was doing, and even in hindsight years later, I still believe I was right about her reasons."
Your post makes me think that I should try to call her mom one more time about the tooth and follow it up with a text. She rarely answers when I call and if she does it's a super uncomfortable one-sided conversation, but I need to keep doing what's in teen's best interest which means trying to get permission for us to pay cash for oral surgery elsewhere.
On a brighter note, teen squeaked out an A on her summer Ecology course by doing all of the available extra credit. She's been somewhat depressed still but managed to mostly motivate herself. I asked her how I could help when it first started and she said just check in weekly and watch online gradebook and speak up if I saw her get behind. So that's what I did although she really didn't need it. DH and I also sent her texts when we saw particularly good scores roll through.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2024 10:47:47 GMT -5
Anyone have recommendations for smallest tampons? DD11 wears size 7/8 pants and wants to learn to use them for swimming. Tampax and Kotex light days seem too long. I'm ordering ob minis but wanted to offer her multiple options.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 13, 2024 14:11:21 GMT -5
Teen sounds very motivated, especially for the life she has had.
It makes me proud of her to know that she could tell you what she needed on the summer course and got an A. Every person needs encouragement. Every person. She's probably not had that before your house.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Jul 13, 2024 16:10:45 GMT -5
Anyone have recommendations for smallest tampons? DD11 wears size 7/8 pants and wants to learn to use them for swimming. Tampax and Kotex light days seem too long. I'm ordering ob minis but wanted to offer her multiple options. Has she considered a menstrual cup? I haven’t heard of the mini size of OB. I thought regular was the smallest size of OB. Keep in mind that the smallest tampons don’t hold much.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 13, 2024 16:28:38 GMT -5
Gwen uses Playtex Sport. She found other ones uncomfortable.
I used Tampax Pearl as a teen. I found those the easiest to insert.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jul 13, 2024 17:35:48 GMT -5
Anyone have recommendations for smallest tampons? DD11 wears size 7/8 pants and wants to learn to use them for swimming. Tampax and Kotex light days seem too long. I'm ordering ob minis but wanted to offer her multiple options. Has she considered a menstrual cup? I haven’t heard of the mini size of OB. I thought regular was the smallest size of OB. Keep in mind that the smallest tampons don’t hold much. I don't know about availability in the US but I used those in my early teens - which is 60 or so years ago.
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Pink Cashmere
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Post by Pink Cashmere on Jul 13, 2024 18:13:14 GMT -5
Pink - thanks for sharing all of that. Curious about this statement if you feel up to sharing more " Once it all unfolded, I figured out why she was doing what she was doing, and even in hindsight years later, I still believe I was right about her reasons." Your post makes me think that I should try to call her mom one more time about the tooth and follow it up with a text. She rarely answers when I call and if she does it's a super uncomfortable one-sided conversation, but I need to keep doing what's in teen's best interest which means trying to get permission for us to pay cash for oral surgery elsewhere. On a brighter note, teen squeaked out an A on her summer Ecology course by doing all of the available extra credit. She's been somewhat depressed still but managed to mostly motivate herself. I asked her how I could help when it first started and she said just check in weekly and watch online gradebook and speak up if I saw her get behind. So that's what I did although she really didn't need it. DH and I also sent her texts when we saw particularly good scores roll through. The Mom was man crazy and didn’t have much time for her daughter. Not even when her daughter had that surgery, which is why she checked my daughter out of school that day. My daughter helped her friend after the surgery and was there while the Mom ran around chasing men, in and out of town. My daughter pretty much confirmed that that’s what it was, some years later. The girls had been friends since elementary school. The friends had spent the night at my house since elementary school, and me and my family had taken her home when we picked my children up from school. So even if my daughter was telling the Mom lies to make me sound horrible (she couldn’t honestly say that I had mistreated or neglected her in any way), I felt like there was enough history that the Mom should’ve at least reached out to me, one Mom to another, when she came and got my daughter to go live with her. When DS was a teenager, one of his friends got into it with her parents and walked in the snow to our house, which was not a short distance. I told her she could stay, but we HAD to call her parents and let them know where she was, and that she was safe. She refused to call, but I insisted that they needed to know where she was, and she finally gave me her Dad’s number for me to call him. She had said she just left because she was upset, there was no threat to her well being, so I gave her Dad my address and assured him that it was just me and my children at the house, so his daughter was safe (he knew of my son and that he’s gay, so it wasn’t like she’d came to a boyfriend’s house) and I said she could stay at my house for the night to cool off, if that was okay with them. She was a minor, and I wasn’t trying to get in trouble, by not telling her parents exactly where she was, since she was not in physical danger. He asked me to see if she would come to the phone for just a minute. She agreed without me pushing, which I appreciated, because I’d figured he asked because he just wanted to hear her voice, saying she was okay, instead of just taking my word for it. Of course, he told me that he appreciated me calling him because they were worried. That is what I think parents should do, and why it was a problem for me that DD’s friend’s Mom never called me. But those are different kinds of situations from bonus teen’s situation. If I were you, I would try to have as much of your attempts to communicate with the nut about the seriousness of the dental problem and how you need her help/permission to get her daughter seen and treated, in text, as makes sense. Just in case she tries to flip it on you one day and say you knew bonus teen had a serious dental issue and didn’t try to get it treated. She’s clearly not an upstanding kind of person, so who knows what she might eventually come up with. I know there should be records from the dentists you’ve taken her to already, I just think you need to try to cover your ass as much as possible, and texts can prove how you tried to get her to cooperate, better than relaying what was said in phone calls. I’m really sorry that she is being such an ass when you are genuinely trying to help her daughter.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 13, 2024 19:01:50 GMT -5
Thanks for the additional detail pink.
I do mostly text to have records. I also text updates of steps taken and next steps to bonus teen so she can see it in writing.
My phone will also show all the calls I've made to dental places day after day.
Appreciate you looking out for me though.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 13, 2024 22:01:50 GMT -5
Anyone have recommendations for smallest tampons? DD11 wears size 7/8 pants and wants to learn to use them for swimming. Tampax and Kotex light days seem too long. I'm ordering ob minis but wanted to offer her multiple options. They have period swim wear now too.
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azucena
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Post by azucena on Jul 22, 2024 7:34:23 GMT -5
Gonna need all the coffee today to get through work as bonus teen had a tough day and night where I needed to monitor her. She wouldn't open up but she went to half sister's bday party yesterday with her dad's gf and I heard thru DH who heard from DD15 that it was a tough time. We had offered moment's notice pickup but she stayed the whole 4 hours. Seems any family interaction sets her back even if it's supposed to be innocent like a kid bday party.
She also overheard me ask DH to give her her meds before bed bc I knew it was a night she was gonna refuse them and I thought he might have more luck.
Finally met with psychiatrist on Thurs. Appt took 2 hours and was weird bc we had to drive 30 mins downtown to virtually meet with the doc who was virtual from somewhere in the northeast bc MO can't staff enough psych's. Hard appt but I liked doc. She doesn't like to abruptly tinker with medicine so asked teen to pick number one issue and teen said sleep followed by panic attacks. So changed sleep med to something that can also be used during the day to take the edge off panic. Took it two nights and it does nothing. Teen has high tolerance or metabolism or whatever, plus being six foot two takes much more to knock her out than it does someone my size. Msg into the doctor to see if we can increase dose and/or move on to next choice as kid desperately needs sleep.
Met with therapist on Fri. Another two hour appt. At first we were skeptical but then things started to click. She's a foster parent of teens and emancipated herself from bad family at 16. She suggested filing paperwork for 'qualified minor' status so teen can make her own healthcare decisions. Then, file another set for living situation. She asked teen number one fear and it was mom forcing her to come back home. Stupid me was naïve enough to think that we were past that and gov't soc worker had made it sound like mom had no case. Therapist said it's unlikely but could still happen but she'd vouch for us after just this one meeting. She walked thru how teen should go to safe place which is all fire stations, quick trips, and most libraries. Trained emergency response team has to pick up no questions asked and secure safety which would give teen a chance to call therapist and/or us. I made teen pinky swear to choose this option instead of just running away as I've sensed that's def her backup plan. Therapist made a point that teen should tell her siblings of this option too. Also lectured about how trafficking is alive and thriving in MO particularly StL which is completely scary and means I need to have a conversation with DD15 and a lesser one with DD11.
Therapist also said MO is bottom five worse child protective services in the country. She gave us the number to a friend at legal aid who does qualified minor papers. I already placed that call Fri afternoon. She also gave us a listing for more dentists to call. I placed 17 calls for that on Fri and left so many messages. 4 were out of business. One place gave me two numbers for possible cash pay places so I left those messages as well. Medicaid social worker that coordinates pysch and therapy also started calling places she knows. Bonus she offered to call Trifling Nut and get consent once we find a place as she's been having decent luck getting mom to respond and should have better luck than I will esp if we end up cash pay bc to Nut I'm sure that will seem like I'm throwing my money around.
Therapist also said mental health inpatient center where teen has gone is one of the worst she's seen and racist as well with documented cases of over diagnosing and medicating blacks. She gave us two much better options if we need them. One is our great Children's hospital downtown.
Oh, and got a text from DD11's new therapist that we've settled in with after 4 appts. She's leaving the location and can only see DD one more time before transferring her to colleague. After each appt DD tells me that she opened up so they were connecting. Didn't respond when I asked about following her and if she thought we'd connect with colleague. Fan-flipping-tastic as we are in one month countdown to new school.
Two steps fwd, one step back.
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lurkyloo
Junior Associate
“Time means nothing now,” said Toad. “It is just the thing that happens between snacks.”
Joined: Jan 8, 2011 11:26:56 GMT -5
Posts: 6,168
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Post by lurkyloo on Jul 22, 2024 19:44:31 GMT -5
Oh, that is terrible timing on DD11’s therapist, azucena. But the progress on bonus teen sounds very promising I just can’t conceive of trying to leverage my kid’s health (and pain!) to manipulate them. It makes me sick to my stomach to think of it.
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azucena
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2011 13:23:14 GMT -5
Posts: 5,942
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Post by azucena on Jul 26, 2024 12:20:42 GMT -5
Got thru to oral surgeon finally...17 calls later...for earliest consult appt 9/10 but oh I can keep calling to see if they have any cancellations. Seems like continuing to call them daily is my life for a while longer.
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raeoflyte
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 15:43:53 GMT -5
Posts: 15,239
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Post by raeoflyte on Jul 26, 2024 16:05:10 GMT -5
Got thru to oral surgeon finally...17 calls later...for earliest consult appt 9/10 but oh I can keep calling to see if they have any cancellations. Seems like continuing to call them daily is my life for a while longer. That is so frustrating. I'm sorry.
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