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Post by unrepentant_spendthrift on Jan 2, 2011 16:40:44 GMT -5
I've never truly believed the monogamy myth, so i'm not surprised that cheating is on the rise..and now more out there
when i was married, cheating never crossed my mind as a possibility but in dating, i just consider it keeping options open i've never wasted amoment double guessing or asking if i should or not, i just did...
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 2, 2011 16:43:55 GMT -5
MU I meant infidelity must be unacceptable to the majority of voters. If they approved of it, John Edwards could still have a political career. TD if she hadn't gone through that cancer battle and lost he might have a shot but I'm not sure. I think everyone was pretty turned off by the lengths he and his camp went to in order to cover it up.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 2, 2011 16:45:17 GMT -5
MU I meant infidelity must be unacceptable to the majority of voters. If they approved of it, John Edwards could still have a political career. TD if she hadn't gone through that cancer battle and lost he might have a shot but I'm not sure. I think everyone was pretty turned off by the lengths he and his camp went to in order to cover it up. It was what he went through to cover it up that turned me off to him. I really don't care who he screwed. Maybe I'm jaded, but I pretty much expect our national elected representatives to screw around.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 2, 2011 16:46:32 GMT -5
Thanks J! Swamp I agree about not caring. I mean I know people in my life that cheated. Politicians are humans regardless of whether we believe they should be held to a higher standard. However, the great lengths he went to in order to cover it up and deny it is pretty repulsive. Admit it and let your wife move on instead of dragging it out.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2011 16:48:49 GMT -5
If your marriage is really just a marriage in name, then is either side going to be upset if you have an emotional/physical relationship with someone else? This makes sense - there is no emotional attachment there. Since that's not the case today (I'm assuming that arranged marriages aren't mainstream in most areas) then I don't think that argument is valid now. Is a driving factor for today's infidelity due to the fact the people are "falling out of love" and no longer have that attachment with their SO?
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 2, 2011 16:49:32 GMT -5
I don't think you're jaded swamp, a realist perhaps. There's so much money and power in those circles and a feeling that you can get away with anything. Add to that for those in DC/state capitols not all the spouses uproot their families and move so they are away from their spouse a lot of the time working. I know they screw around and I'd be a fool to expect monogamy out of them.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 2, 2011 16:50:06 GMT -5
Thanks J! Swamp I agree about not caring. I mean I know people in my life that cheated. Politicians are humans regardless of whether we believe they should be held to a higher standard. However, the great lengths he went to in order to cover it up and deny it is pretty repulsive. Admit it and let your wife move on instead of dragging it out.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 2, 2011 16:50:40 GMT -5
Weren't Elizabeth and John divorced? I thought I heard she booted him out of the family home. I wonder if she was able to pick guardians for her children? I'd have a tough time if I was dying leaving guardianship to their father after he'd behaved like that. Not that he should be removed from their lives but if I were a mother, I think I'd want a better person to be looking out for my kids and raising them.
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TD2K
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Post by TD2K on Jan 2, 2011 17:06:02 GMT -5
They were legally separated, not divorced. They had to be legally separated 12 months before they could get a divorce in their state, she died before that 12 months were up.
That said, they were divorced in all by name in my opinion.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jan 2, 2011 17:47:31 GMT -5
If they approved of it, John Edwards could still have a political career. TD if she hadn't gone through that cancer battle and lost he might have a shot but I'm not sure. I think everyone was pretty turned off by the lengths he and his camp went to in order to cover it up.
I don't think it was the infidelity so much as it was the fact that Elizabeth was battling her disease in a very public manner. They AS A COUPLE let the press into their private life and have the public perception that John was an adoring spouse standing by his wife during her difficult fight.
It was more the fraud that the picture perpetuated IMO. Not the infidelity.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jan 2, 2011 17:50:23 GMT -5
I wonder if she was able to pick guardians for her children? I'd have a tough time if I was dying leaving guardianship to their father after he'd behaved like that. Not that he should be removed from their lives but if I were a mother, I think I'd want a better person to be looking out for my kids and raising them.
They still have their father and he is their guardian. Despite what John did to his wife, he's still their father and in the picture. Elizabeth did not have the right to take that away from John, regardless of what he did.
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Apple
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Post by Apple on Jan 2, 2011 17:54:02 GMT -5
My dad cheated on wife #1 (my mom) with wife #2 and on wife #2 with wife #3. Beyond the fact that I could never forgive a betrayal like that, I truly believe you are either a cheater or you are not. If you have the moral character to cheat, I don't think there is anything anyone can do to change that. buh bye and good riddance! While I don't condone your father's behavior, I have to wonder what wife #2 (and now wife #3) was thinking? She obviously new that he was a cheater....did she really think she was different? Yes, I'm sure she really thinks she's different. After all, the ex-wife was a witch that would stalk him and refuse sex, and scream, and yell and she was just an absolutely horrible person, just ask him, he'll tell you! Of course, the new girl is never going to be like that... Being single, I don't know if I would date a guy that had cheated in the past or not. If it was a one time thing, he realized it was an awful thing to do to someone and he had never done it since, maybe. If it's a habit--no. Suz--thanks. I grew up around boys and spend so much time with guys that I've developed a way to "translate" girl-stuff/talk so they can understand it. And none of the wives that know me feel threatened by me, which is good, because they shouldn't.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 2, 2011 18:00:06 GMT -5
I don't think he should be kicked out of their lives but I'd feel better knowing I left someone else to look out for them in addition to their father. Probably impossible since they weren't divorced anyway. It has to be hard for their children to deal with all of this stuff. Their dad moved out and it was mom they were staying with and now their mom's gone and its dad who's responsible for them but he started another family. Its often recommended to split the money and responsibility for the children up. Yes, he cheated on their mother not the kids but he also choose to start a new family. Now he's got children he is solely responsible for and a new family to support as well. I'd be worried about how he was going to divide his time and resources if I had been in her shoes.
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TD2K
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Post by TD2K on Jan 2, 2011 18:04:50 GMT -5
Unless Elizabeth was able to get full custody and show that John was an unfit father, I doubt she'd be able to name someone else as the kid's guardian knowing she was going to die though that's just my opinion.
I don't recall her ever saying anything about John being a poor father so she may have been able to separate what he did to her versus his qualities of a father to their children after she was gone.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jan 2, 2011 18:04:53 GMT -5
The children also have an adult sister to help, so their dad's not going to be the only caregiver in the picture. It sounds like John was in Elizabeth's life at the very end and there still is a significant amount of love there, despite the infidelity.
He's got another SO and another child (and he may not have 'chosen' to start a new family, that decision could have been made for him - granted he had the ability to avoid it though), but that doesn't mean that he won't be able to figure out how to raise them all. Many men manage just fine.
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 2, 2011 18:08:58 GMT -5
Nope, after the kid surfaced, John Edwards political career went I'm pretty sure it was already in the toilet by then. That was just the actual flushing of it.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 2, 2011 18:10:49 GMT -5
Is internet flirting consider infidelity? Yes, DH knows about it. I even read some of it to him, especially when it's with the girls. ;P
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Post by wvugurl26 on Jan 2, 2011 18:10:52 GMT -5
I'm sure it'll work out somehow. I just don't know any men juggling two families that have sole responsibility for one set of children. He's probably a good father, I'd just have to question if he could really be there all the time for the kids. Its just a bad situation. I think that is every parent's worst fear is dying before their children are grown.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 2, 2011 18:28:45 GMT -5
The children also have an adult sister to help, so their dad's not going to be the only caregiver in the picture. It sounds like John was in Elizabeth's life at the very end and there still is a significant amount of love there, despite the infidelity. He's got another SO and another child (and he may not have 'chosen' to start a new family, that decision could have been made for him - granted he had the ability to avoid it though), but that doesn't mean that he won't be able to figure out how to raise them all. Many men manage just fine. She said in an interview that he was a very good father and she wanted him in their lives. She said a lot more, but I can't remember it - but it was all in the best interest of their children and the importance of having their father in their lives.
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Post by suzwantstobefree on Jan 2, 2011 19:40:14 GMT -5
Is internet flirting consider infidelity? Yes, DH knows about it. I even read some of it to him, especially when it's with the girls. ;P I think we have come to the conclusion that if you are including your s/o it is fine. Besides, what are the chances you will meet anyone in real life that you are flirting with on the Internet?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 2, 2011 19:41:55 GMT -5
For me, I couldn't do the affair thing. I don't have the time for it. I would rather be on the boat sailing or racing with friends. Affairs just seem so hard to accomplish with setting up times, making excuses, mixing up names. I guess if a guy on wants to invest that sort of energy, then go for it. For the woman, if she wants to cat around, then go ahead. Maybe a little "side action" will be good for her. And I'm not saying this for others. If I was in a relationship and she wanted to see someone else, I guess that would be her right. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I could be on the boat and she could be with her "other." Everyone wins. Sure. It's the time you don't have... ;P
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2011 19:43:30 GMT -5
"Besides, what are the chances you will meet anyone in real life that you are flirting with on the Internet?" Pfffft, ya, like that ever happens!
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 2, 2011 19:45:45 GMT -5
"Besides, what are the chances you will meet anyone in real life that you are flirting with on the Internet?" Pfffft, ya, like that ever happens! Yeah, but we all do it on purpose. It's not like a fluke or anything. <<looks outside the window to see if somebody is hiding in the shrubs>>
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 2, 2011 19:48:55 GMT -5
"Besides, what are the chances you will meet anyone in real life that you are flirting with on the Internet?" Pfffft, ya, like that ever happens! Yeah, but we all do it on purpose. It's not like a fluke or anything. <<looks outside the window to see if somebody is hiding in the shrubs>> <<waives to POM with free hand>>
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Post by Deleted on Jan 2, 2011 19:50:20 GMT -5
J, you're such a lawyer. It's "waves" lol
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 2, 2011 19:50:50 GMT -5
lmao....
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Post by la808 on Jan 2, 2011 20:02:35 GMT -5
I think it's a natural thing for a man to want to cheat.
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The J
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Post by The J on Jan 2, 2011 20:04:28 GMT -5
I think it's a natural thing for a man to want to cheat. It's also a natural thing for me to want to punch anyone who pisses me off in the face. Doesn't make it okay to do it.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 2, 2011 20:06:22 GMT -5
I think it's a natural thing for a man to want to cheat. I think it's natural for a woman to want to cheat too, but it still doesnt' make it right.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jan 2, 2011 20:07:18 GMT -5
LMAO at J and Later!!!
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