Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 13:27:04 GMT -5
For you maybe. Think of the people you know in your life though. How many of the cute girls married well, and how many women do you know that make a living based on some athletic ability? To me it's seems way skewed toward being cute doing more for you.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 13, 2011 13:28:50 GMT -5
In that case, what's the problem with them learning early on that pretty girls get the guys? ;D
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 13:29:49 GMT -5
I agree with dark. In general what I find is if you got two girls who have the same skills odds are the one that is hotter is going to win. Hasn't there been "study" after "study" done that beautiful people are more successful than horse faces?
Being good looking certainly increases your odds of being successful more than just talent alone.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 13:30:03 GMT -5
I don't want my 9 year old getting guys, or learning about it. She has plenty of time for our culture to hyper sexualize her as a teenager, she doesn't need early lessons.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 13:31:54 GMT -5
Dark you sound like my husband. He says that DD will learn soon enough that men are going to be oogling her body, no way he wants to pay for grown men acting as judges to do it. He does have a fair point.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 13, 2011 13:33:19 GMT -5
For you maybe. Think of the people you know in your life though. How many of the cute girls married well, and how many women do you know that make a living based on some athletic ability? To me it's seems way skewed toward being cute doing more for you. I don't consider marrying well as making someone successful. And I have a few female friends who are college level coaches, teach dance lessons or figure skating, are athletic trainers, or gym teachers. I dunno. Maybe I got where I did because I'm kinda cute too, but it's not what I relied on.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 13, 2011 13:36:34 GMT -5
This thread is starting to depress me.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 13:36:47 GMT -5
He says that DD will learn soon enough that men are going to be oogling her body, no way he wants to pay for grown men acting as judges to do it. Exactly! Like I said way early in this thread, if my daughter decided on her own that she wanted to do a pageant, I'd probably let her do one, but I really don't like the thought of it.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 13:40:38 GMT -5
if my daughter decided on her own that she wanted to do a pageant, I'd probably let her do one, but I really don't like the thought of it
Same here and I do agree with DH and you. I feel the same way about it.
I just don't see pagents themselves as evil or twisted because it's a pagenet, it doesn't have any thoughts or feelings beyond what I impose on it.
What little I've been able to stomach of those pagent shows it really seems to be the mom's attitude that the kid is absorbing and very few of them have a healthy attitude about appearances and pagents.
I'd like to think that between her father and myself DD would be no worse for wear if she did a pagent.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 13:42:55 GMT -5
It's not just twisted parents pushing their sick views on their own kids, it's those kids pushing the same views on my daughter that I'd worry about. Maybe it's not fair, maybe I'm being biased, hell I probably am, but it's still how I'd feel going into it. I just don't like the idea.
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Post by mawmawandlovingit on May 13, 2011 13:43:00 GMT -5
I think the competition is a lot more cutthroat these days. My sister and I did pageants as teenagers, I hated them and only participated in a few. The only reason I did repeat pageants was because I won. I HATED the feeling of standing there and having someone else judge me that only had limited interaction with me. I NEVER would have allowed my daughter to do a pageant until she was old enough to understand how they really worked. When she was 17 she decided to do the Louisiana Teen USA pageant. It was a last minute decision, totally HER decision. There were 83 girls in the pageant and when it came down to the final three and she was one still standing, everyone in the audience had her picked as the winner. She came in 2nd runner up. She was totally fine with the outcome UNTIL we received a phone call from one of the judges that told us that she was actually the winner but the director of the pageant COULD NOT let her win the title since she hadn't paid her dues. The top two girls had actually been in the pageant 3 times before. The winner actually said to my DD that she didn't think it would be fair for her to win since she had never done the pageant before ![:o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/shocked.png) . I'm not saying all pageants are bad, just saying that they were not for me. DD also learned that they were not for her and decided to not go any further into them. She had been approached to put her DD into them and stands firm in the HELL no department!!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 13:49:59 GMT -5
It's not just twisted parents pushing their sick views on their own kids, it's those kids pushing the same views on my daughter that I'd worry about
True. DH and I have debated that too and we ended up in a "chicken/egg" circular argument about it.
The general consensus is that no DD isn't participating in a pagent.
DH is against ANY pagent, but I am not against it once she turns 18.
I feel that by 18 we've hopefully pounded into her head our values well enough that a single pagent isn't going to warp them.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on May 13, 2011 14:50:23 GMT -5
Dark might let our kids into a Pageant, but no.
No, no, no, no and no. As Firebird said - there are a TON of other activities that can teach all the positives that a child might conceivably (but probably doesn't) learn from a Pageant experience and those activities won't have a vast majority of the negatives.
I, as a parent, have a duty to choose what will be harmful in the long term, no matter how much my daughter might want to do it. When you guys say, "Well, if my daughter wanted to enter a pageant, I'd probably let her just once to see if she liked it," it's the exact equivalent (at least in my mind) of "Well, my daughter said she wanted to do meth, so I think I'll let her try it at least just once to see if she likes it."
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 14:52:43 GMT -5
When you guys say, "Well, if my daughter wanted to enter a pageant, I'd probably let her just once to see if she liked it," it's the exact equivalent (at least in my mind) of "Well, my daughter said she wanted to do meth, so I think I'll let her try it at least just once to see if she likes it." Guess that is another check mark in the "Crappy parent" box for me. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 14:52:46 GMT -5
But everyone should try meth once, that stuff was freaking great!!! ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 13, 2011 14:56:45 GMT -5
I, as a parent, have a duty to choose what will be harmful in the long term, no matter how much my daughter might want to do it. When you guys say, "Well, if my daughter wanted to enter a pageant, I'd probably let her just once to see if she liked it," it's the exact equivalent (at least in my mind) of "Well, my daughter said she wanted to do meth, so I think I'll let her try it at least just once to see if she likes it."
Those two don't have to be mutually exclusive, meth keeps you skinny so that you can keep winning the pageants ;D
Dark seems pretty dead set against the idea to me, Loop. I don't think you've anything to worry about.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on May 13, 2011 14:58:41 GMT -5
Hey, DQ, at least you won't let her do it til 18?
Once a kid is 18 they can do whatever they want.. we just have to hope that we, as parents, have given them the values to not make asinine decisions.
Before 18, my house, my rules - and my rules are that priorities will be given to things in which the positives vastly outweigh the negatives like sports, art, music, science, mathematics, literature, etc, etc, etc.
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Loopdilou
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Post by Loopdilou on May 13, 2011 15:00:21 GMT -5
Those two don't have to be mutually exclusive, meth keeps you skinny so that you can keep winning the pageants ;D LOL! Good point ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) Dark seems pretty dead set against the idea to me, Loop. I don't think you've anything to worry about. Read back, he said he'd probably let them. I'm not worried though - we both know who makes the final decisions on these things anyway ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png)
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 15:03:47 GMT -5
I'm not worried though - we both know who makes the final decisions on these things anyway Damn straight... wait, why do I feel like we aren't picturing the same person when saying this?
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Post by ty on May 13, 2011 15:05:09 GMT -5
Dark you sound like my husband. He says that DD will learn soon enough that men are going to be ogling her body, no way he wants to pay for grown men acting as judges to do it. He does have a fair point. I think these kid and baby pageants are run by a bunch of purvy people. Parents paying older men to judge and ogle their little girls. SICK!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 15:05:13 GMT -5
Hey, DQ, at least you won't let her do it til 18?I suppose it depends on if you view 18 year olds as children or as adults. So depending on which thread I am on on YM I am either a crappy parent or a good one. ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 13, 2011 15:06:06 GMT -5
Damn straight... wait, why do I feel like we aren't picturing the same person when saying this?
It's the person who wears the pants, obviously. Come on, you know this!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 15:06:27 GMT -5
I think these kid and baby pageants are run by a bunch of purvy people. Parents paying older men to judge and ogle their little girls. SICK! Ever see the South Park episode where they put Ike in a beauty pagent? The male judges get hauled off by the FBI, it's hysterical. I told DH they made how they feel about those pagents pretty clear. ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 15:08:41 GMT -5
It's the person who wears the pants, obviously. Right, but I think Loop thinks that's her. Silly woman...
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on May 13, 2011 15:13:58 GMT -5
Right, but I think Loop thinks that's her. Silly woman... Loop doesn't wear pants?
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Post by ty on May 13, 2011 15:15:29 GMT -5
This one?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2011 15:15:51 GMT -5
Yep, that's the one.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 13, 2011 15:15:53 GMT -5
I let her wear pants, as long as she's barefoot.
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Post by ty on May 13, 2011 15:21:26 GMT -5
![](http://us.social.s-msn.com/s/images/emoticons/thumbs_up.gif) lmao here. ![](http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff155/JiminiChristmas/smileys/button49554436.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2011 16:09:14 GMT -5
Everything you are saying against pageants can also be said against football. There are terrible sports parents too but you seem fine with them getting into sports. And swamp has made a philisophical decision not to wear make up and you should respect that ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png)
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