NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 17, 2022 17:15:01 GMT -5
Well I'm finding out DH and I are on fundamentally different sides of this topic. We had a fight because he told me quit making it into a gender issue and this isn't about men trying to control me it's about saving unborn babies. He got even more pissed when I asked then how come they aren't coming for you since I can't make one without you and you can get many women pregnant in nine months compared to my once. Probably should not have laughed in his face when he said well if men could get pregnant they'd still be working to end abortion because it's the right thing to do. That resulted in me telling him to check his privilege. Now I'm a man hater. Oh well. If I wasn't at least part right the man hater insult wouldn't have been tossed at me. I'm not sure what to do about this. I suppose we can not talk about it. I laid down I want him snipped if this occurs. And I suppose God forbid its still in place when the girls mature I do what I have to without involving him in it. I'm not going to have him pressure the girls into making decisions they may not be ready for because he believes in "responsibility" yet no discussions of the boys role in it. Well, boys only do it cause girls let them, do it’s the girl’s fault. It’s always the girls fault, since Eve. When DS went to college I gave him a giant box of condoms and told him if he became a baby’s daddy he was on his own - he would have to drop out of college to earn money to pay child support and his dad and I would not be raising the baby for him. Also - condoms we’re mandatory even if his partner said she was on the pill. I think he listened too good to my nagging- he’s married and 33 and no grands yet. Yep, that is as American as apple pie (pun intended)
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2022 17:48:30 GMT -5
I don’t want to bash all men about this, because I know a few men that got themselves “fixed” to avoid having more babies. One of them is a single man that’s never been married. He’s in his 50’s and his only child is around 30yo. He absolutely does not want a baby at this point in his life, so he took it upon himself to make sure it doesn’t happen.
I respect that he decided to take care of it himself, instead of leaving it to whatever woman he’s dating to make sure she doesn’t get pregnant.
The other men I know that got “fixed” were/are married, and got it done when their wives said “no more babies!”. Whether it was after 2 or 3 or however many babies, they listened to their wives and took responsibility for their part of potentially making more babies.
So I know for a fact that some men are willing to do their part to prevent unwanted pregnancies, even if it means getting a vasectomy, instead of leaving it up to their wives or the women they date to be responsible for it and/or just hoping their sperm didn’t run up on an egg.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 17, 2022 17:57:19 GMT -5
I want to make it clear DH isn't opposed to being snipped in and of itself.
It was his total lack of awareness regarding the topic at hand that pissed me off. You can't say my body my choice when you are agreeing with people who seek to take mine away.
I am not sure he gets being pro choice doesn't mean anti life. I'm fully in support of the stuff actually shown to lower pregnancy rates.
The pro life movement uses that to make themselves more palatable to people like DH because calling themselves the "Put women on their backs, gays in the closet and bring back colored water fountains" doesn't exactly encourage growth of your base.
That's where I'm frustrated right now. He's not seeing the bigger picture. I got part way with explaining what that currently involves regarding our local Catholic hospitals but we ended up devolving because I got pissed after umpteen microagressions.
I'm still going to force articles on him and not be silent on the subject and will be the girls advocate if need be.
But I'm not giving up. This is a lack of education and exposure that can be remidied.
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scgal
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Post by scgal on May 18, 2022 5:48:17 GMT -5
I want to make it clear DH isn't opposed to being snipped in and of itself. It was his total lack of awareness regarding the topic at hand that pissed me off. You can't say my body my choice when you are agreeing with people who seek to take mine away. I am not sure he gets being pro choice doesn't mean anti life. I'm fully in support of the stuff actually shown to lower pregnancy rates. The pro life movement uses that to make themselves more palatable to people like DH because calling themselves the "Put women on their backs, gays in the closet and bring back colored water fountains" doesn't exactly encourage growth of your base. That's where I'm frustrated right now. He's not seeing the bigger picture. I got part way with explaining what that currently involves regarding our local Catholic hospitals but we ended up devolving because I got pissed after umpteen microagressions. I'm still going to force articles on him and not be silent on the subject and will be the girls advocate if need be. But I'm not giving up. This is a lack of education and exposure that can be remidied. Is he truly pro-life or anti abortion?
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 18, 2022 7:24:48 GMT -5
If you are done having kids, he should be snipped - regardless of abortion laws. I understand why getting a procedure that has a less than perfect reversal rate is unappealing when you are young and want kids in the future. But if he is in a committed relationship and there is a common commitment to being done having kids, the man should have the 5 minute "procedure" that has a low risk and high success rate to protect his partner from all the pro1blems that accompany each of the alternative methods of preventing pregnancy. If he refuses, call him a woman hater. I 100% agree. I didn't make it a hill to.die on previously because I have an IUD and while I wouldn't be thrilled a third wasn't horrible. But now I live and work in states that have zero exceptions trigger laws waiting. I have two other kids to think about and I'm not keen on being sacrificed so some Bible thumper can get a ticket into heaven. I don't care statistically how small my odds are the fact those odds can result in.a high chance of me dying makes them unacceptable. So now I'm done done. I'm keeping the IUD for insurance and I like not having periods but it's time he be responsible for the baby making. The biggest irony is he told me that takes away his choice to have kids. I responded yet you see no issue with an entire country trying to control my choices. Oh that's different because mine would be ending one and he wants to make one. I'm starting to wonder if we'll stay married through this. Who is he going to have more children with?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 18, 2022 8:01:02 GMT -5
I 100% agree. I didn't make it a hill to.die on previously because I have an IUD and while I wouldn't be thrilled a third wasn't horrible. But now I live and work in states that have zero exceptions trigger laws waiting. I have two other kids to think about and I'm not keen on being sacrificed so some Bible thumper can get a ticket into heaven. I don't care statistically how small my odds are the fact those odds can result in.a high chance of me dying makes them unacceptable. So now I'm done done. I'm keeping the IUD for insurance and I like not having periods but it's time he be responsible for the baby making. The biggest irony is he told me that takes away his choice to have kids. I responded yet you see no issue with an entire country trying to control my choices. Oh that's different because mine would be ending one and he wants to make one. I'm starting to wonder if we'll stay married through this. Who is he going to have more children with? Yeah that was a question along with pointing out he turns 50 next year. I get being disappointed in closing a window he's always wanted 3-4 kids but I at first only wanted one. I changed my mind and had Abby but I'm content with two. I have no desire to start over. I didn't like pregnancy and I never want to BF, potty train or go through teething again. Plus daycare costs twice our mortgage payment for infants now. No thank you.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 18, 2022 8:48:09 GMT -5
Who is he going to have more children with? Yeah that was a question along with pointing out he turns 50 next year. I get being disappointed in closing a window he's always wanted 3-4 kids but I at first only wanted one. I changed my mind and had Abby but I'm content with two. I have no desire to start over. I didn't like pregnancy and I never want to BF, potty train or go through teething again. Plus daycare costs twice our mortgage payment for infants now. No thank you. I would start making noises about getting a tubal. Maybe that will pull his head out of his ass about this? You have compromised…….a LOT. Time for him to do so now.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on May 18, 2022 10:58:57 GMT -5
I want to make it clear DH isn't opposed to being snipped in and of itself. It was his total lack of awareness regarding the topic at hand that pissed me off. You can't say my body my choice when you are agreeing with people who seek to take mine away. I am not sure he gets being pro choice doesn't mean anti life. I'm fully in support of the stuff actually shown to lower pregnancy rates. The pro life movement uses that to make themselves more palatable to people like DH because calling themselves the "Put women on their backs, gays in the closet and bring back colored water fountains" doesn't exactly encourage growth of your base. That's where I'm frustrated right now. He's not seeing the bigger picture. I got part way with explaining what that currently involves regarding our local Catholic hospitals but we ended up devolving because I got pissed after umpteen microagressions. I'm still going to force articles on him and not be silent on the subject and will be the girls advocate if need be. But I'm not giving up. This is a lack of education and exposure that can be remidied. Is he truly pro-life or anti abortion? Thank you for making the distinction between the two. It is an important one, and FAR too many people think of them as the same. They are not really even close to the same thing.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on May 19, 2022 21:06:27 GMT -5
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justme
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Post by justme on May 19, 2022 22:09:04 GMT -5
DH goes back and forth. I almost punched him over his "right to choose" stance. Which he isn't wrong about technically but he could just not see how privileged and out of touch that statement was. Meanwhile let's say I wanted to do it I'd encounter an entire hospital system saying no and probably quite a few at the rest expecting me to get HIS permission to tie my tunes. So fuck off with your claim I'm taking away YOUR choices when I'm asking as your wife and partner to make a joint decision about birth control. And when you see nothingwrongwithan entirenation.dictating my choicesbecauseit just so happensyou agree with them. When Alito makes comments about your balls then we'll talk about you having no choice. I don't think I could have stopped myself from saying "well my right to choose means I'm not having sex with a guy who can get me pregnant." I hate guys that have a shit fest over vasectomy. I'm quite positive my church going brother is all about abortion restrictions, but once they decided they were done he was snipped before the youngest hit 6 months.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on May 20, 2022 12:03:54 GMT -5
What the FUCK? From the moment of conception? On Thursday, the Oklahoma House passed a bill banning nearly all abortions in the state. Like a recent ban passed in Texas, which barred abortion after six weeks, the law will be enforced through private civil action. And Oklahoma’s bill takes things even further by banning abortion beginning at fertilization. It will take effect immediately upon being signed by Republican Governor Kevin Stitt. The Oklahoma bill allows private citizens to file lawsuits against anyone who performs an abortion in the state or “knowingly engages in conduct that aids or abets the performance or inducement of an abortion” there. A plaintiff stands to receive at least $10,000 for winning a lawsuit against an abortion provider or other person involved in assisting a patient. www.motherjones.com/politics/2022/05/oklahoma-extreme-abortion-ban-fertilization-texas-bounty-hunter/Well, I guess scgal is happy, since she wants to leave it to the states.
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daisylu
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Post by daisylu on May 20, 2022 14:04:47 GMT -5
What the FUCK? From the moment of conception? On Thursday, the Oklahoma House passed a bill banning nearly all abortions in the state. Like a recent ban passed in Texas, which barred abortion after six weeks, the law will be enforced through private civil action. And Oklahoma’s bill takes things even further by banning abortion beginning at fertilization. It will take effect immediately upon being signed by Republican Governor Kevin Stitt. The Oklahoma bill allows private citizens to file lawsuits against anyone who performs an abortion in the state or “knowingly engages in conduct that aids or abets the performance or inducement of an abortion” there. A plaintiff stands to receive at least $10,000 for winning a lawsuit against an abortion provider or other person involved in assisting a patient. www.motherjones.com/politics/2022/05/oklahoma-extreme-abortion-ban-fertilization-texas-bounty-hunter/Well, I guess scgal is happy, since she wants to leave it to the states. And this is exactly why it should not be left to the states to decide. Many people live where they live because that is all that the know and likely can afford. I doubt that the majority of people can up and move to a different state for a multitude of reasons.
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justme
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Post by justme on May 20, 2022 14:26:00 GMT -5
I wanna puke saying this but at least this one sounds like it's only for what happens in the state. I thought the Texas one can be if you help someone get one out of state too.
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pulmonarymd
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Post by pulmonarymd on May 20, 2022 14:57:43 GMT -5
What the FUCK? From the moment of conception? On Thursday, the Oklahoma House passed a bill banning nearly all abortions in the state. Like a recent ban passed in Texas, which barred abortion after six weeks, the law will be enforced through private civil action. And Oklahoma’s bill takes things even further by banning abortion beginning at fertilization. It will take effect immediately upon being signed by Republican Governor Kevin Stitt. The Oklahoma bill allows private citizens to file lawsuits against anyone who performs an abortion in the state or “knowingly engages in conduct that aids or abets the performance or inducement of an abortion” there. A plaintiff stands to receive at least $10,000 for winning a lawsuit against an abortion provider or other person involved in assisting a patient. www.motherjones.com/politics/2022/05/oklahoma-extreme-abortion-ban-fertilization-texas-bounty-hunter/Well, I guess scgal is happy, since she wants to leave it to the states. And this is exactly why it should not be left to the states to decide. Many people live where they live because that is all that the know and likely can afford. I doubt that the majority of people can up and move to a different state for a multitude of reasons. The people who live there apparently want it. I have no idea why they believe this is ok. At this point, they have 2 choices, move or vote. Since only about 60% of people vote in elections, if everyone voted, this could be overturned in most but the most conservative states. And if it isn’t, they need to vote with their feet. That’s what republicans tell people who complain about high taxes to do.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 20, 2022 16:42:19 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 20, 2022 17:01:02 GMT -5
Not related to the upcoming SCOTUS decision but a little something about 1960s American Roman Catholic Church at least in my area of western Massachusetts which was/is heavily Catholic. In 1969 the movie Midnight Cowboy premiered. It was rated X. We had a weekly Catholic newspaper delivered every week. One week, the newspaper reviewed Midnight Cowboy. The article stated it was making a great exception and recommended everyone eligible to see the movie should see it. The paper said it was a very important and good movie. Well worth the movie goer's time and consideration. Today, the movie has a R-rating. Midnight Cowboy is also the only X-rated movie to ever win the best picture Oscar.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 20, 2022 17:22:25 GMT -5
Well I'm finding out DH and I are on fundamentally different sides of this topic. We had a fight because he told me quit making it into a gender issue and this isn't about men trying to control me it's about saving unborn babies.He got even more pissed when I asked then how come they aren't coming for you since I can't make one without you and you can get many women pregnant in nine months compared to my once. Probably should not have laughed in his face when he said well if men could get pregnant they'd still be working to end abortion because it's the right thing to do. That resulted in me telling him to check his privilege. Now I'm a man hater. Oh well. If I wasn't at least part right the man hater insult wouldn't have been tossed at me. I'm not sure what to do about this. I suppose we can not talk about it. I laid down I want him snipped if this occurs. And I suppose God forbid its still in place when the girls mature I do what I have to without involving him in it. I'm not going to have him pressure the girls into making decisions they may not be ready for because he believes in "responsibility" yet no discussions of the boys role in it. If it really was about saving babies they'd be increasing WIC, welfare, food stamps, etc. every time they passed a restrictive abortion law.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 21, 2022 11:32:31 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2022 12:44:17 GMT -5
And this is exactly why it should not be left to the states to decide. Many people live where they live because that is all that the know and likely can afford. I doubt that the majority of people can up and move to a different state for a multitude of reasons. The people who live there apparently want it. I have no idea why they believe this is ok. At this point, they have 2 choices, move or vote. Since only about 60% of people vote in elections, if everyone voted, this could be overturned in most but the most conservative states. And if it isn’t, they need to vote with their feet. That’s what republicans tell people who complain about high taxes to do. I don't know what is going on. There seems to be a competition amongst states to be the most pro-life. But they are going to a weird place the polling suggests less than 10% of the population wants. Bans on abortion in all cases, even in cases of rape, incest, and risks to the mother's life. Not treating miscarriages. Banning IUDs, some even talking about banning birth control in general. When my horrible lieutenant Governor suggested that the state legislature reconvene to remove the exceptions for rape, incest, and life of the mother in the state law, the prolife organizations came out against her. They seems to know that if they push too far, the backlash will be severe. But the politicians are going a different way.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on May 21, 2022 13:12:46 GMT -5
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 21, 2022 19:51:54 GMT -5
The people who live there apparently want it. I have no idea why they believe this is ok. At this point, they have 2 choices, move or vote. Since only about 60% of people vote in elections, if everyone voted, this could be overturned in most but the most conservative states. And if it isn’t, they need to vote with their feet. That’s what republicans tell people who complain about high taxes to do. I don't know what is going on. There seems to be a competition amongst states to be the most pro-life. But they are going to a weird place the polling suggests less than 10% of the population wants. Bans on abortion in all cases, even in cases of rape, incest, and risks to the mother's life. Not treating miscarriages. Banning IUDs, some even talking about banning birth control in general. When my horrible lieutenant Governor suggested that the state legislature reconvene to remove the exceptions for rape, incest, and life of the mother in the state law, the prolife organizations came out against her. They seems to know that if they push too far, the backlash will be severe. But the politicians are going a different way. What happened is a very organized minority intent on this single issue maneuvered to get candidates into offices who agreed with their very restrictive beliefs and began intense lobbying to pass these kinds of bills with the intention of getting them reviewed by the Supreme Court until eventually the court would be packed in favor of the single minded conservatives who would overturn Roe vs Wade, despite the 50 years of legal abortions and the fact that 70% of Americans believe abortion at least in the first trimester should be legal. Actually if you look at the means they used to get this done, they were canny about it. I imagine a lot of them voted for a presidential candidate they hated just because of this one issue. They are determined, I’ll give them that.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 21, 2022 21:41:41 GMT -5
'The Janes': Pre-Roe v. Wade Abortion Activist Documentary Sets June Release Date on HBOHBO is bringing a historic look at the fight for abortion to your screens with The Janes. Debuting during the 2022 Sundance Film Festival, the documentary is the latest from HBO Documentary Films and is helmed by Oscar nominee Tia Lessin (Trouble the Water) and Emmy nominee Emma Pildes (Jane Fonda in Five Acts). HBO will broadcast the film on June 8 from 9:00 to 10:45 p.m. ET/PT before it makes its way to HBO Max. The Janes follows an underground network of abortion activists fighting to provide safe abortions to women in need in the days before Roe v. Wade became settled law. With first-hand accounts from women involved in the group, which referred to themselves as Janes, the film will give a revelatory look at the work they did under the nose of the Illinois state legislature that outlawed abortions, the Catholic Church that condemned it, and the Chicago mob that profited on it, all in the name of giving women affordable access to the healthcare procedure. They risked life and limb to help women at a time when even spreading information about abortion was a felony and in the process, helped around 11,000 women receive affordable or free abortions. For the documentary, Heather Booth, Judith Arcana, Marie Leaner, Diane Stevens, Eleanor Oliver, and more will speak on their involvement with "Jane" which marks the first occasion some of them have spoken on the record about it. It also features a number of women whom the Janes helped, as well as lawyers, doctors, and others who speak about the era. One of the men featured even taught the Janes how to perform abortions themselves in order to make it easier for them to subvert authorities and the mob. Complete article here: 'The Janes': Pre-Roe v. Wade Abortion Activist Documentary Sets June Release Date on HBOSome background on the Jane Collective. Jane CollectiveThe Jane Collective or Jane, officially known as the Abortion Counseling Service of Women's Liberation, was an underground service in Chicago, Illinois affiliated with the Chicago Women's Liberation Union that operated from 1969 to 1973, a time when abortion was illegal in most of the United States. The foundation of the organization was laid when Heather Booth helped her friend's sister obtain a safe abortion in 1965. Other women with unwanted pregnancies began to contact Booth after learning via word-of-mouth that she could help them. When the workload became more than what she could manage, she reached out to other activists in the women's liberation movement. The collective sought to address the increasing number of unsafe abortions being performed by untrained providers. Since illegal abortions were not only dangerous but very expensive, the founding members of the collective believed that they could provide women with safer and more affordable access to abortions. Initially, the organization directed the women to male doctors. After a few years, however, they learned that one of their most-used doctors had lied about having medical credentials. This created a conflict in the group, causing some members to leave. Others realized that if a man without medical credentials could perform a safe abortion, then they could learn as well. A few of their number learned how to perform surgical abortions, with the dilation and curettage method most commonly used. Members of the group performed an estimated 11,000 abortions, mostly to low-income women who could not afford to travel to the places where abortion was legal, as well as women of color. In 1972, one of the Jane Collective apartments was raided by the police, and seven of its members were arrested. Each was charged with eleven counts of abortion and conspiracy to commit abortion, carrying a maximum prison sentence of 110 years. Their attorney was able to delay court proceedings in anticipation of the Supreme Court's decision on Roe v. Wade. As the attorney hoped, the Court's decision in Roe in 1973 struck down many abortion restrictions in the US, and the charges against the Jane Collective members were dropped. As women now had access to legal abortion, the Collective disbanded shortly afterwards. While their abortions sometimes resulted in complications, none of their clients were known to die from their abortions. Complete article here: Jane Collective
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djAdvocate
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Post by djAdvocate on May 22, 2022 11:26:01 GMT -5
wprkforce participation among women steadily increased from RvW to 2000. since then it has been declining.
my original thesis was that women got bored of the workforce, just like men did half a century ago. but now, i think it is probably due to access to abortion and the rise of conservatism.
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justme
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Post by justme on May 22, 2022 18:26:39 GMT -5
wprkforce participation among women steadily increased from RvW to 2000. since then it has been declining. my original thesis was that women got bored of the workforce, just like men did half a century ago. but now, i think it is probably due to access to abortion and the rise of conservatism. Don't forget horrible maternity leave in combination with huge daycare costs. Hard to go back to work if you lost your job and daycare costs more than you'd make.
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djAdvocate
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Post by djAdvocate on May 22, 2022 19:14:36 GMT -5
this/\
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on May 22, 2022 19:30:50 GMT -5
k, I don't have HBO, and I'm not sure how best to access this. if anyone wants to share a streaming login that would be used for solely this title, I'll happily buy you dinner via Door Dash or similar.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 23, 2022 10:18:21 GMT -5
wprkforce participation among women steadily increased from RvW to 2000. since then it has been declining. my original thesis was that women got bored of the workforce, just like men did half a century ago. but now, i think it is probably due to access to abortion and the rise of conservatism. It's also still a large part of household running and child/elder care still falls to women. I was reading an article on CNN back in 2020 that showed that the people leaving the workforce the most were women and it was due to lack of access to child care and elder services. It is predicted that the mass exodus is going to set back wages for women for decades to come. Nobody is bothering to address that on either side. It's impossible to get daycare here right now either because they are refusing to take new clients because of COVID, refusing to take them because due to staffing issues they can't meet mandated staffing ratios or because they jacked the prices sky high due to a combination of the former. Daycare where we used to send our kids now costs double what we pay on our mortgage for infants. It's about $300 more than our mortgage for pre-school care. Elder care around here is in the same situation. That was an ongoing problem long before COVID though and it going to get worse as boomers age. The whole goal IMO of the Republican party is to eventually achieve pushing women out of the workforce and make us reliant again on male breadwinners. If we do work it will be back in the traditional "female' professions where we will be pressured to quit once we are with child. Set us back far enough and we will never recover at least not in my lifetime and possibly not in my daughter's. This ensures the power and the wealth stays concentrated exactly where they want it, in the hands of white men.
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justme
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Post by justme on May 23, 2022 22:37:38 GMT -5
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justme
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Post by justme on May 23, 2022 22:53:09 GMT -5
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 25, 2022 9:56:57 GMT -5
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