what are you doing right now?

[azucena]

Sept 26, 2022 11:21:37 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

Sept 26, 2022 8:43:50 GMT -5 azucena said:

I admire how carefully you balance your 'in-laws', but may I suggest that you visiting likely helps more than it could hurt.  'MIL' could probably use an unbiased sounding board to vent to after all she's been through.  Plus, you could take the opportunity to see if there's anything she needs that her boys might be forgetting, especially as she heads to rehab.  Does she need someone to purchase nice comfy loungewear for example?  A nice scented lotion is usually welcome in the hospital.  Dry hands and it can help mask the overwhelming hospital smell.  Also chapstick.  A card with a sweet note that says something simple about how much you admire the man she raised - this could be priceless in those down moments when she's sitting alone.  Plus, these are items that if they get lost in the shuffle don't really matter.

I talked to Mister this morning and she’s doing a lot better. She is still awake and alert.

I’ll talk to him when he gets home from work and offer to go sit with her tomorrow. She is very private, so I don’t think she’d want me to see her not at her best. All I can do is offer. 

I do like the idea of a care package. I think I’ll make one for her regardless. Thank you for mentioning it. I saw Drama listed some other items under this post. I’m not good at this kind of thing, so if you think of anything else I can add, please tell me.

Mister’s Dad is retired and has been practically living at the hospital since she’s been there, so she’s not by herself much. 

I get that but maybe if you point out an hour or two visit will give her husband a break and you promise not to judge that could help.

Drama's care items were on point...my experience is with my husband as a male patient.  He definitely always felt better when he got cleaned up, but his buzz cut was easy.

Mints/hard candy/gum if she's allowed.

Deck of cards to pass the time solo/with her husband.

Sounds silly but coloring book and pencils/crayons/markers.  Again just to pass the time besides staring at the tv.  Takes very little effort and something about the act of coloring/creating is healing and soothing.

See if she has a way to get music on her phone.  Again, a welcome, wholesome distraction.

[daisylu]

Good luck, mich. Our last washer, also Maytag, died at the 11 year mark. We'll, it wasn't worth it to fix it anyway. Easy to remember, as it was a wedding gift in 2009 and died a couple of months into Covid (May 2020).

[giramomma]

Sept 26, 2022 11:30:49 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 26, 2022 10:19:47 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Very far. It's about a 14 hour car drive...

Are you taking him or is he going himself?

DH is taking him.

I am staying back with the girls. There's no way my ILS could manage the girls for 4-5 days. And, DD1 has homecoming. I can't ask my ILs to deal with that on top of everything else. I mean, a few hours a night, with mostly just driving isn't the same is that, plus homework, packing lunches, etc etc. They are taking the youngest two on homecoming night so I don't have to worry about picking up DD1 if DH isn't home.

We met to coordinate after school for 3 days this week, and it took an hour.

[giramomma]

And, I feel like we are forgetting everything. Even though my lists tell me otherwise.  We're sitting really well. But, I also started prepping in August.

But, there's part of me that's like: he's set to clean his dishes and his underwear. That's good enough.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 26, 2022 11:54:30 GMT -5 giramomma said:

And, I feel like we are forgetting everything. Even though my lists tell me otherwise.  We're sitting really well. But, I also started prepping in August.

But, there's part of me that's like: he's set to clean his dishes and his underwear. That's good enough.

Amazon Prime will get him whatever is forgotten.   I use it so much, even for things like just sending a bag of Gummy Bears during finals.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 26, 2022 11:32:48 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Sept 26, 2022 10:23:16 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I’m not sure why you assumed her intention was to scare them. In reality she was hoping they wouldn’t be afraid of him since he’s so little.

And by “live with”, I meant on their property. Not having free run of the house, or even necessarily inside the house at all. 

So their dogs are outside dogs? Doesn't it get very hot where you live? What do they do with them when it is hot or cold?

They do seem to spend more time outside than inside. He built a huge kennel for them, with a roof, and his backyard gets a lot of shade from all the trees back there. Idk what he does when it’s hot or cold. 

If he wasn’t taking proper care of them, it would’ve been discovered all the times the neighbors sent Animal Control to his house. Instead, their reports were always positive, until they finally questioned why they kept being sent over there. The reports were included in the emails the President of our Neighborhood Association included us on.

His dogs are too valuable for him to not take care of them. He has a lot of money, time and energy invested in them. They are not just pets, they are working dogs.

Just because dogs live outside doesn’t mean they aren’t taken care of. We have a couple posters here who had or want a dog that lived/will live mostly outside.

[Pink Cashmere]

Sept 26, 2022 11:42:26 GMT -5 azucena said:

Sept 26, 2022 11:21:37 GMT -5 Pink Cashmere said:

I talked to Mister this morning and she’s doing a lot better. She is still awake and alert.

I’ll talk to him when he gets home from work and offer to go sit with her tomorrow. She is very private, so I don’t think she’d want me to see her not at her best. All I can do is offer. 

I do like the idea of a care package. I think I’ll make one for her regardless. Thank you for mentioning it. I saw Drama listed some other items under this post. I’m not good at this kind of thing, so if you think of anything else I can add, please tell me.

Mister’s Dad is retired and has been practically living at the hospital since she’s been there, so she’s not by herself much. 

I get that but maybe if you point out an hour or two visit will give her husband a break and you promise not to judge that could help.

Drama's care items were on point...my experience is with my husband as a male patient.  He definitely always felt better when he got cleaned up, but his buzz cut was easy.

Mints/hard candy/gum if she's allowed.

Deck of cards to pass the time solo/with her husband.

Sounds silly but coloring book and pencils/crayons/markers.  Again just to pass the time besides staring at the tv.  Takes very little effort and something about the act of coloring/creating is healing and soothing.

See if she has a way to get music on her phone.  Again, a welcome, wholesome distraction.

Great ideas, thank you!

I am going to offer, I’m just saying I won’t be surprised if she declines lol.

[countrygirl2]

Yes, my BJ lived outside, but he came into the garage or basement at night. And at the other house the laundry room or garage, hubs didn't want him in the house. But he was in and out some when hubs worked away. He liked being outside during the day unless it was horribly cold, then he was in the basement, where he was warm and cozy.  I would go down with him at times and give him treats and pets, he got lots of loving.

We are off to our massages. I'm also to the medicaid office to fax in info to Estate Recovery, wish they would just get it done so I can close out those accounts. I just want to get something off my plate. Then I need to get the post office deal taken care of and close that out.

I so hope we can sell the house but with the increase in interest rates I just don't know. It's going to be in an affordable price range. Hubs has done such a great job on the countertops, new sink, and faucet. Then the little pieces of tile above the edge of the countertop looks so great. He leveled the floor in the kitchen, really improved that. Redid the valves for the w/d, he said one was leaking and you couldn't get ahold of them to turn them off very well. He put up a new tub surround and all new plumbing on the tub. We are putting new rubber type baseboard around it and the kitchen floors. It's bit taller so covers any nicks and stuff. He goes over everything and makes it looks nice and makes sure all essential systems are in good order. Most people just make it look good, he makes sure everything functions. Like he said nothing worse the buying a house and having to spend a bunch of money on them. They don't have to on ours. We have a "good" christian guy here, supposedly. He buys up old houses, some he doesn't even clean and rents or sells them. I feel so sorry for some getting them. If you aren't savvy and someone slapped paint in it, you just don't know. He is my insurance agent, I have sure lost respect for him. Like hubs says, we will never be rich but we can sure sleep at night and that is important to us.

Later all, gotta go.

[Pink Cashmere]

The weather is perfect today. Not too hot, not too cold, and the sun is shining.

It’s a perfect day to fire up the grill, and hang out outside, but we have leftovers from the dinner Mister cooked yesterday. So I’ll skip the grilling part and just hang out on the deck and enjoy the great weather.

[NastyWoman]

Sept 26, 2022 7:19:54 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Well, you know your day is off to a great start when you quote beevis and butthead to your husband right away in the morning.

DS leaves in a couple of days. I am a wreck.

[mamasita99]

Sept 26, 2022 7:19:54 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Well, you know your day is off to a great start when you quote beevis and butthead to your husband right away in the morning.

DS leaves in a couple of days. I am a wreck.

Hugs for you, gira. I know it’s hard, but remember he’s growing up, is all. I was a huge wreck, too.

[mamasita99]

I’m up early again. I’ve been trying to improve a data sheet for one of my clients and for some reason that is what woke me up at 3:30am and I can’t go back to sleep. That will make for a long day…

I have dragon boating this evening so I have to stay up long enough for that. In June I’m heading to Vancouver to participate in the Concord Pacific Dragon Boat Festival!So I have to stay committed and consistent with training. There are three practices a week on the water, not sure if there are additional sessions as the regatta gets closer.

My first regatta ever will be in a few weeks. I’m nervous because this is a new sport for me but everyone says they are a lot of fun. I don’t do well with super competitive activities, like where you have to start at age 7 or else there’s no hope for you!

[NastyWoman]

I Just read one of those "the Moneyist" articles and learned that I am truly missing the tipping gene many Americans seem to be born with. The question was about a dispute between a husband and wife about how much to tip the cleaning lady. he wants to stick with a minimum amount (10%-15%) and she thinks it should be about double that. And here I am thinking WHAAAAAT? I am supposed to tip the cleaning lady? 
A while back there was a similar debate about tipping for take-out food (don't stiff the the workers and make it at least 15%)

Not going to happen but I wonder what they will come up with next. Am I that much out of touch or are we reaching the point where labor is no longer included in any sales price even if, as in the case of the cleaning lady, the "sale" is labor?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 26, 2022 13:58:30 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I Just read one of those "the Moneyist" articles and learned that I am truly missing the tipping gene many Americans seem to be born with. The question was about a dispute between a husband and wife about how much to tip the cleaning lady. he wants to stick with a minimum amount (10%-15%) and she thinks it should be about double that. And here I am thinking WHAAAAAT? I am supposed to tip the cleaning lady? 
A while back there was a similar debate about tipping for take-out food (don't stiff the the workers and make it at least 15%)

Not going to happen but I wonder what they will come up with next. Am I that much out of touch or are we reaching the point where labor is no longer included in any sales price even if, as in the case of the cleaning lady, the "sale" is labor?

I remember arguments on the old MSN boards about how you are supposed to tip your garbage man at Christmas.  That it's the least you can do for them.

Dude our city garbage men can make up to six figures, belong to a union, get city benefits and can retire early on the pension plan.   It's the type of job here where generations of family members become one.

I am supposed to tip on top of all that?!

Don't get me wrong I respect the work and I know it's a physically demanding job.   But there are numerous jobs that are equally physical that pay less and don't get tips, why are garbage men so special? 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 26, 2022 14:03:33 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 26, 2022 13:58:30 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I Just read one of those "the Moneyist" articles and learned that I am truly missing the tipping gene many Americans seem to be born with. The question was about a dispute between a husband and wife about how much to tip the cleaning lady. he wants to stick with a minimum amount (10%-15%) and she thinks it should be about double that. And here I am thinking WHAAAAAT? I am supposed to tip the cleaning lady? 
A while back there was a similar debate about tipping for take-out food (don't stiff the the workers and make it at least 15%)

Not going to happen but I wonder what they will come up with next. Am I that much out of touch or are we reaching the point where labor is no longer included in any sales price even if, as in the case of the cleaning lady, the "sale" is labor?

I remember arguments on the old MSN boards about how you are supposed to tip your garbage man at Christmas.  That it's the least you can do for them.

Dude our city garbage men can make up to six figures, belong to a union, get city benefits and can retire early on the pension plan.   It's the type of job here where generations of family members become one.

I am supposed to tip on top of all that?!

Don't get me wrong I respect the work and I know it's a physically demanding job.   But there are numerous jobs that are equally physical that pay less and don't get tips, why are garbage men so special? 

LOL  What do you do?  Tape an envelope to the garbage can? 

Seeing as ours is just one guy in an automated truck, it would just end up getting dumped with the garbage anyhow.  Not that I would ever tip Waste Management anyhow, they're already overcharging me a ton.

[saveinla]

Sept 26, 2022 13:58:30 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I Just read one of those "the Moneyist" articles and learned that I am truly missing the tipping gene many Americans seem to be born with. The question was about a dispute between a husband and wife about how much to tip the cleaning lady. he wants to stick with a minimum amount (10%-15%) and she thinks it should be about double that. And here I am thinking WHAAAAAT? I am supposed to tip the cleaning lady? 
A while back there was a similar debate about tipping for take-out food (don't stiff the the workers and make it at least 15%)

Not going to happen but I wonder what they will come up with next. Am I that much out of touch or are we reaching the point where labor is no longer included in any sales price even if, as in the case of the cleaning lady, the "sale" is labor?

Except for Christmas, I am not tipping my cleaning lady.

[wvugurl26]

If I'm getting take out from a sit down restaurant, I do tip for take out. It seems to vary a lot from one place to another but in some locations the order is rung in by a regular server. So it's included in their totals that the government is expecting x% tips on. That's why I tip in that scenario.

Carry out only/casual no server type places get maybe a couple dollars. Cleaning lady it depends on whether it's a service or an independent person.

My grandma's trash guy sends a postcard every year with his address printed on it for tips. As if Waste Management isn't charging her enough.

I'm sure I probably tip more than some and less than others. Yes, the whole system is crazy but if I tend to view it as those few dollars go further for them than me.

The person who really needs a holiday tip, I can't by law. My mail lady is wonderful. She is always protecting our packages and places them nicely on the porch. No tossing and moving on.

[daisylu]

It is very weird to me to tip someone who is providing a service that is included in the purchase price. That said, if this person had access to my home when I was not around, I would likely be generous but probably only at Christmas time.

I really need to get on with picking a security camera.

[Pink Cashmere]

Just a PSA…..

Always ask for a receipt. 

I was in a convenience store last week. There was a young lady at the counter, then an older man, then me in line.

After the older man counted out change to pay for his beer, a female employee walked over the register where a young man had rang up the 2 purchases in front of me. The female employee asked a customer that was in line behind me if her daughter was still outside.

She said the older man’s purchase rang up on the young lady’s account because the transaction wasn’t finalized. The customer went outside to get her daughter, and when she came back in, the female employee gave her all the change the older gentleman had used to pay for his purchase. 

The young lady was understandably upset and kept saying that she’d used Apple Pay and it never asks for a PIN. I didn’t know how it happened that her payment method was open for the person behind her to be charged to her card. I told her it was a good thing she was still there. 

The female employee rang me up while saying she would print a receipt for the young lady. Luckily, I was paying cash lol. I left after paying for my stuff, so idk what happened after that.

I always ask for a receipt, just because that’s what I was taught growing up. I also always ask for my items to be put in a bag, for the same reason. I was taught to do those things in case anyone ever accused me of stealing, so I’d have proof that I paid for whatever I have. Just another thing to be mindful of, living where I live.

After seeing what happened at the convenience store last week, I think EVERYBODY should probably ask for a receipt when using a credit or debit card, just to make sure the transaction is finalized and the next person’s purchase isn’t charged to your card. 

I’m just putting it out there, what I saw and heard with my own eyes and ears. Asking for a receipt ensures the transaction is completed and the person behind you won’t have their purchase run on your card. Do what you will with the info.

[chiver78]

Sept 26, 2022 14:09:14 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 26, 2022 14:03:33 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I remember arguments on the old MSN boards about how you are supposed to tip your garbage man at Christmas.  That it's the least you can do for them.

Dude our city garbage men can make up to six figures, belong to a union, get city benefits and can retire early on the pension plan.   It's the type of job here where generations of family members become one.

I am supposed to tip on top of all that?!

Don't get me wrong I respect the work and I know it's a physically demanding job.   But there are numerous jobs that are equally physical that pay less and don't get tips, why are garbage men so special? 

LOL  What do you do?  Tape an envelope to the garbage can? 

Seeing as ours is just one guy in an automated truck, it would just end up getting dumped with the garbage anyhow.  Not that I would ever tip Waste Management anyhow, they're already overcharging me a ton.

I used to pack a few different 6-pks/12pks inside of a trash bag with a huge bow on top, and put the bag on top of my closed barrel the last week before Christmas. most of my neighbors did the same. thought being, they take the stash back to the office and split it all up by tastes. 

[NastyWoman]

I do give my cleaning lady a Christmas bonus.  But that is not what these people were discussing. It was tipping every time they showed up. So NomoreDramaQ1015 to put this in perspective: every time the garbage collector shows up you better stand there with your tip in hand 

[daisylu]

Sept 26, 2022 14:20:16 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

If I'm getting take out from a sit down restaurant, I do tip for take out. It seems to vary a lot from one place to another but in some locations the order is rung in by a regular server. So it's included in their totals that the government is expecting x% tips on. That's why I tip in that scenario.

Carry out only/casual no server type places get maybe a couple dollars. Cleaning lady it depends on whether it's a service or an independent person.

My grandma's trash guy sends a postcard every year with his address printed on it for tips. As if Waste Management isn't charging her enough.

I'm sure I probably tip more than some and less than others. Yes, the whole system is crazy but if I tend to view it as those few dollars go further for them than me.

The person who really needs a holiday tip, I can't by law. My mail lady is wonderful. She is always protecting our packages and places them nicely on the porch. No tossing and moving on.

Back in the 80s and 90s, my mom "tipped" our mail lady(Miss Shirley) with baked goods - she was very clear that she could not accept money or other gifts. She was the best and is someone that I have not thought about in a long time. She has passed, but I have tons of great memories so thank you.

[saveinla]

If I tip my cleaning lady, then shouldnt work be tipping me every time I do anything .



Where does that end?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Sept 26, 2022 14:24:20 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I do give my cleaning lady a Christmas bonus.  But that is not what these people were discussing. It was tipping every time they showed up. So NomoreDramaQ1015 to put this in perspective: every time the garbage collector shows up you better stand there with your tip in hand 

Then they better not leave my garage strewn all over my freaking lawn.

[chiver78]

Sept 26, 2022 14:24:26 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 26, 2022 14:20:16 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

If I'm getting take out from a sit down restaurant, I do tip for take out. It seems to vary a lot from one place to another but in some locations the order is rung in by a regular server. So it's included in their totals that the government is expecting x% tips on. That's why I tip in that scenario.

Carry out only/casual no server type places get maybe a couple dollars. Cleaning lady it depends on whether it's a service or an independent person.

My grandma's trash guy sends a postcard every year with his address printed on it for tips. As if Waste Management isn't charging her enough.

I'm sure I probably tip more than some and less than others. Yes, the whole system is crazy but if I tend to view it as those few dollars go further for them than me.

The person who really needs a holiday tip, I can't by law. My mail lady is wonderful. She is always protecting our packages and places them nicely on the porch. No tossing and moving on.

Back in the 80s and 90s, my mom "tipped" our mail lady(Miss Shirley) with baked goods - she was very clear that she could not accept money or other gifts. She was the best and is someone that I have not thought about in a long time. She has passed, but I have tons of great memories so thank you.

I got a gift card for the village market for my carrier at the last house, he lived out on the "island" in my neighborhood. the first year that I gave $25, he said something about not being able to accept anything over $20 so I asked him for the card back and replaced it the next day with a $20.   so it sounds like the rules have changed since Miss Shirley was working. I do miss seeing/chatting with John every morning when he'd stop with the mail. he retired when COVID hit. 

[NastyWoman]

Sept 26, 2022 14:25:01 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Sept 26, 2022 14:24:20 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I do give my cleaning lady a Christmas bonus.  But that is not what these people were discussing. It was tipping every time they showed up. So NomoreDramaQ1015 to put this in perspective: every time the garbage collector shows up you better stand there with your tip in hand 

Then they better not leave my garage strewn all over my freaking lawn.

They better not do that anyway or I would file complaints every time that happened - and I would not be the only one. City hall, which awards the contracts, would be included on each and every one of those complaints. That said our (untipped) garbage collectors don't make a mess.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 26, 2022 14:22:17 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Sept 26, 2022 14:09:14 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

LOL  What do you do?  Tape an envelope to the garbage can? 

Seeing as ours is just one guy in an automated truck, it would just end up getting dumped with the garbage anyhow.  Not that I would ever tip Waste Management anyhow, they're already overcharging me a ton.

I used to pack a few different 6-pks/12pks inside of a trash bag with a huge bow on top, and put the bag on top of my closed barrel the last week before Christmas. most of my neighbors did the same. thought being, they take the stash back to the office and split it all up by tastes. 

Yeah, that's not a thing around here at all. 

[jerseygirl]

DIL’s horse will be on the trailer for new season of Yellowstone. He’s a gorgeous creature!!
DD said DIL should be on also, as:
Beautiful horse trainer (she IS gorgeous!)
Scheming jezebel
Tough as nails ranch owner
Trouble making environmentalist from NJ

[chiver78]

Sept 26, 2022 14:43:25 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Sept 26, 2022 14:22:17 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I used to pack a few different 6-pks/12pks inside of a trash bag with a huge bow on top, and put the bag on top of my closed barrel the last week before Christmas. most of my neighbors did the same. thought being, they take the stash back to the office and split it all up by tastes. 

Yeah, that's not a thing around here at all. 

it wasn't where I grew up, either. but it seemed to be a Very Important Thing once I moved to Cape Cod.     I haven't done it in my new house, and I've weathered two holiday seasons here with paid (vs municipal) collection. I was just answering your question

[daisylu]

Just learned that a decent size of my department workload will be lifted soon. I knew it was coming, but expected it to be drug out. There are things that need to happen before the transition, but likely done by the end of the year. I will be very happy to be done with it.