what are you doing right now?

[raeoflyte]

I think having that trust there is key. Her knowing that it's because you care about her, and want to help her, not because your judging her could help her open up.

[anciana]

Sept 23, 2022 11:02:18 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 23, 2022 7:54:43 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Thank you.

I don't even know where to start but every time I go in that house I think at some point I've got to do something to help.

Helping is good, but the desire has to come from the hoarder. I can already tell I am going to have to be super cautious as we proceed. Dsis honestly looked at the tracked in drywall dust and the crawl space being opened (because cutting away the bottom 2 feet of drywall around the entire basement) and said this is worse. It's not worse than human sewage! And eventually she acknowledges that, but in her mind - open crawl space affects the animals more than waste on the floor. It's not logical.

This isn't the first time we've intervened. It's really the 3rd house that is essentially being gutted. The sewer backup makes it the worst we've ever dealt with, but it got this bad because of the hoarding issues. She avoided the basement because it was dirty and overwhelming so didn't notice the back up. Then tried to fix it herself because the house is too gross to have a plumber come in which just added days and mess to the disaster.

I'm trying to be hopeful this is a turning point, but also prepare myself that nothing will change.

This got longer and darker than I intended. Sorry. I hope your situation can be easier.

That sounds so hard to deal with. Have no advice, just sending hugs to both of you 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Unbelievable. 

My counterpart left for the day without telling me.  I didn't realize it until I started getting requests from one of her teams.  We were literally chatting on Jabber like we do all the time and she couldn't mention "oh, by the way I'm leaving at 10 and putting you as my back up". 

Usually she just doesn't come in at all on Friday without telling me so this is an improvement I guess.    I made sure I sent her an email that I'm out next Thursday and Friday and 10/20 and 10/21 which are also a Thursday and Friday.  I don't know why I bother to give the courtesy though.

[saveinla]

Sept 23, 2022 11:24:32 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I am trying to watch two targeted degradation talks at once, so I have the one I can mute on closed caption, which is hilarious.  Uncle protein (oncoprotein), laundry, (??) prescription (transcription) factors, eat two for you picked the Nation (e2 for ubiquitination).  Aqua protein (oncoprotein) How would take you one performing medical bus?  (no idea).

#nerdingout

the laundry is mysterious

[NoNamePerson]

  TheOtherMe

[finnime]

Aargh, MPL. That would drive me over the cliff.

[lurkyloo]

Sept 23, 2022 11:35:56 GMT -5 saveinla said:

Sept 23, 2022 11:24:32 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

I am trying to watch two targeted degradation talks at once, so I have the one I can mute on closed caption, which is hilarious.  Uncle protein (oncoprotein), laundry, (??) prescription (transcription) factors, eat two for you picked the Nation (e2 for ubiquitination).  Aqua protein (oncoprotein) How would take you one performing medical bus?  (no idea).

#nerdingout

the laundry is mysterious

I am going to have to watch the recording with sound on to figure out both that and „potato camera“ 

[ners]

Thinking I should have gone with my gut and stayed home. Frustrated with life at the moment.

[saveinla]

Sept 23, 2022 12:11:23 GMT -5 ners said:

Thinking I should have gone with my gut and stayed home. Frustrated with life at the moment.

Sorry to hear ners.

[countrygirl2]

It's cold here, 64 out so far is the high, it's 72 in here and staying there so far, but I'm cold, brrr.
Was tempted to kick the heat on but holding off so far.

I can happily say that both fridges and both freezers are cleaned and sorted. The main fridge I didn't take apart, but went through and dumped stuff and wiped the shelves off, so 100% better.

I likely will just take a dry mop and wipe the walls down in the garage, doubt it gets washed down this fall.

I'm running my sweeper, need to think of a name for him, should have earlier. And of course I have a Smokey, sharing my recliner with me.

Things upstairs are under control pretty well. I took a bunch of short sleeve and sleeveless tops from my closet, they are on the bed to be taken downstairs. I'm going to have to do the same in DDs closet, so now have the closet purges to do still, so have more to do.

I cringe about those of you that are good at english punctuation, sentence structure and all that, as was my poorest subject. I know mine is poor at the best and am thankful you don't mark it up all the time.  In school I managed to do well, but as time went on, I didn't take as much care with it.

Looks like we will stay home for Thanksgiving, we hadn't planned to go to Washington anyway so DIL is having friends of theirs up from Texas. Fine with us. But we are planning on going up for Christmas, unless something would happen. I told son, make up a list for each of them of things they would like for Christmas and we will pick some out. That way they will get something they want. We talked about buying a different vehicle, I have been checking the mileage on mine. If it's not idling with DD sitting in it with the AC running, it's getting about 26.7mpg's, so that's good, I didn't realize it did that well and that's driving 70 a lot. Not sure there is room enough for our luggage with Xmas presents though. But over $700 for tickets for each of us is a lot. We can drive for less than that, plus hubs won't fly unless its only non stop, sigh. Also we won't have a vehicle up there unless we rent and I hate to do that.

Ok, back at it, have left over veggie soup so no cooking tonight. We will either eat it for go out for dinner.

[skeeter]

Sept 23, 2022 12:11:23 GMT -5 ners said:

Thinking I should have gone with my gut and stayed home. Frustrated with life at the moment.

New job not going as well as you hoped or is something else going on?

Whatever the reason, hope it gets better soon and that you have a relaxing weekend!

[chiver78]

after a morning of freezing my ass off (I actually closed the house windows!), the pups and I went for a canal walk at noon. in direct sun, I didn't need my fleece. I'm actually about to move my laptop outside for an hour or so, once my tuna melt is done. the deck is now in direct sun, yay! 

re: the edits, etc. I'm with everyone else. he didn't like being corrected by a woman, and felt the need to try to "put you in your place" with that response. he needs to get over himself, and your 2nd response was perfect. 

also - @cg. don't sweat that stuff on a message board. you're getting your message across, it's not a formal letter or anything. in my job, I am responsible for editing SOPs and regulatory filings, and reviewing other people's work for the same. in informal notes, text, FB and here? I barely use capital letters.    

[NastyWoman]

Sept 23, 2022 6:31:41 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Sept 22, 2022 15:59:56 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

I'm not fond of the giant Lego sets.  The early sets were made to assemble, take apart, make something new, etc.  The giant sets are- pay $100+, assemble, find a place to put it, keep dusting it, buy another, rinse and repeat.  We're routed through the gift shop in the Aquarium/LegoLand complex in KC and the prices for the major sets are eye-watering.  Entry fees for the Aquarium are the same as LegoLand although you can get a discount if you do both.  I don't get it.  One has a large assortment of beautiful and not-so-beautiful sea creatures that need food, precise water conditions, veterinarians and other humans to care for them- and the other is plastic that needs to be dusted.

We keep the sets in totes. They might fall apart a little bit. The peanut is not a toy child (my like DS was). But, she will play with her legos.

We also have a tote that just has random pieces. Now, most of the tote, we bought second hand from a previous sitter at least a decade ago. Her kids are now at least in their mid 20s, if not close to 30. 

We will keep them for grandkids. 

I'm pretty frugal with the kids, but, again, if they really only play with legos, and the choices are legos or nothing for Christmas because other toys will be a waste, I'll go with legos.  Remember, the peanut was not safe for public consumption for a long time. So we couldn't do experiences.  That would have been an equal waste of money.

Glad to see I am not the only one. I kept several containers of legos and another two containers with micro machines. They take up quite a bit of my very limited storage space but the little guys love playing with them. And it is not as if they don't have enough (lego) at home. Micro machines --- they are solely to be found at oma's. 

[NastyWoman]

Sept 23, 2022 7:56:30 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

I'm pretty sure most of those huge super expensive Lego sets are marketed to adults. DH has several space ones. He's got the Saturn V rocket, space shuttle and the international space station.

If our house was bigger he'd have some of the big Harry Potter ones and probably the Death Star.

Your DH does not happen to be 6'4" with long dark wavy hair now does he? If he does I may need to have a talk with DS2 

[flamingo]

I'm a little jealous of those of you with cooler temps today. It's still 94* (real feel of 100*) here. I like summer, and I like living somewhere with basically year round summer, but I could use a day or two of even just 80*.

I'm meeting some friends for dinner tonight. I'm really looking forward it, even though I can't be out too late since my day is going to start super early tomorrow. Then Sunday I'm off for another short work trip. One of these days life will slow down!

[raeoflyte]

I steer away from as much plastic as I can, but legos are not a crap plastic toy. They last forever, are easy to clean, fun and educational, and the company will recycle them on the off chance you can't find someone who wants them which is pretty much impossible. We get the kids new sets too, but started with a bunch of used sets from friends.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Last morning in Fiji.  The people here are wonderful, I’d have no problem coming back…..but doubt we will because of the dive operation.  

We have to be out by 10, but the shuttle boat doesn’t arrive until 3.  Yesterday, they were trying to find some place to park us for 5 hours.

[chiver78]

I have an open guest room, flamingo.  I'm not ready for this just yet! thankfully I've got another weekend in FL next month. 

[countrygirl2]

Old procrastinator me, is finally working on what may be one of my final reports to medicaid for MIL. Far as I know everything has been dealt with. Monday I will take it to the local office to fax it. If I do it, it just disappears a lot, they never get it. The office sends it to the same fax number and wouldn't you know, they ALWAYS get it, so only way to go.

All her assets were gone, all her money long ago, so sad. She and my mom after a lifetime of pinching pennies and doing without to save lost it all. I'm so thankful neither of them will ever know. They wanted to leave something behind. Such is life I guess. But yet crooks like someone we all hear about can get by with cheating everyone out of millions.

DD and I had a sandwich for lunch, now back to work. I want a soda  , but I will fix a glass of singles koolaid. Just not the same.

Did reach way up in the living room and dust one of the fans but can only do the edges. Will get the other one later, also used the Bona mop to clean the living room floor, will run over the others later.

[gs11rmb]

Sept 23, 2022 11:02:18 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 23, 2022 7:54:43 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Thank you.

I don't even know where to start but every time I go in that house I think at some point I've got to do something to help.

Helping is good, but the desire has to come from the hoarder. I can already tell I am going to have to be super cautious as we proceed. Dsis honestly looked at the tracked in drywall dust and the crawl space being opened (because cutting away the bottom 2 feet of drywall around the entire basement) and said this is worse. It's not worse than human sewage! And eventually she acknowledges that, but in her mind - open crawl space affects the animals more than waste on the floor. It's not logical.

This isn't the first time we've intervened. It's really the 3rd house that is essentially being gutted. The sewer backup makes it the worst we've ever dealt with, but it got this bad because of the hoarding issues. She avoided the basement because it was dirty and overwhelming so didn't notice the back up. Then tried to fix it herself because the house is too gross to have a plumber come in which just added days and mess to the disaster.

I'm trying to be hopeful this is a turning point, but also prepare myself that nothing will change.

This got longer and darker than I intended. Sorry. I hope your situation can be easier.

I'm friends with a psychology professor who used to be in private practice.  She told me once that hoarders were by far the hardest clients she ever had to deal with and the recovery rate was incredibly low.  I tell you that not to depress you but perhaps to help you accept the situation.  The best you can do is help your sister when she's in crisis and continue to be loving and supportive.  She's not deliberately choosing to live this way (and I'm sure you know that) so getting angry and distressed won't help her at all.  She's very fortunate to be surrounded by people who love her and take care to make sure she's not humiliated.

[countrygirl2]

The Dow is down over 800 points and the S&P down over 100 as is everything else.

[wvugurl26]

NastyWoman my DH keeps his hair short and it's mostly gone gray.

I am 100% not ready for cold weather. I'm freezing and I have a baseball game tonight. I attended Monday night's game in a skort and t-shirt. Tonight its going to be a hoodie and pants. I just got a new t-shirt Monday night that no one will be seeing under my hoodie. I should blame DH, he bought the hoodie he'd been eyeing all season on Monday night. I was supposed to buy it for him for Christmas.

Fall weather sucks. I hate that it gets cooler and it's the second worst allergy season for me. Spring will kill me but fall is a close second.

[NastyWoman]

Ok wvugurl26 DS2 is safe then . However...that also cuts out the option of me having another wonderful DDIL (provided DDIL and you are willing to be sister wives). Not that I can see THAT happening and it might just as easily become another episode on IDtv. So maybe not.

[weltschmerz]

Sept 23, 2022 12:42:38 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

It's cold here, 64 out so far is the high, it's 72 in here and staying there so far, but I'm cold, brrr.
Was tempted to kick the heat on but holding off so far.

I can happily say that both fridges and both freezers are cleaned and sorted. The main fridge I didn't take apart, but went through and dumped stuff and wiped the shelves off, so 100% better.

I likely will just take a dry mop and wipe the walls down in the garage, doubt it gets washed down this fall.

I'm running my sweeper, need to think of a name for him, should have earlier. And of course I have a Smokey, sharing my recliner with me.

Things upstairs are under control pretty well. I took a bunch of short sleeve and sleeveless tops from my closet, they are on the bed to be taken downstairs. I'm going to have to do the same in DDs closet, so now have the closet purges to do still, so have more to do.

I cringe about those of you that are good at english punctuation, sentence structure and all that, as was my poorest subject. I know mine is poor at the best and am thankful you don't mark it up all the time.  In school I managed to do well, but as time went on, I didn't take as much care with it.

Looks like we will stay home for Thanksgiving, we hadn't planned to go to Washington anyway so DIL is having friends of theirs up from Texas. Fine with us. But we are planning on going up for Christmas, unless something would happen. I told son, make up a list for each of them of things they would like for Christmas and we will pick some out. That way they will get something they want. We talked about buying a different vehicle, I have been checking the mileage on mine. If it's not idling with DD sitting in it with the AC running, it's getting about 26.7mpg's, so that's good, I didn't realize it did that well and that's driving 70 a lot. Not sure there is room enough for our luggage with Xmas presents though. But over $700 for tickets for each of us is a lot. We can drive for less than that, plus hubs won't fly unless its only non stop, sigh. Also we won't have a vehicle up there unless we rent and I hate to do that.

Ok, back at it, have left over veggie soup so no cooking tonight. We will either eat it for go out for dinner.

The only thing that kind of bugs me is your use of 'anymore'.  To me, it means 'no longer'  as in 'I'm not young anymore'.

[weltschmerz]

I bought a big bag of beautiful red and green peppers. I think I'll make Italian sausage and peppers, like the Goodfellas made in prison.
I aso bought a fresh baquette, so Simon can have a hoagie.
I was shocked at the price of sausages. I finally found a pack that was 30% off, so they have to be cooked today.

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2022 12:42:38 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I cringe about those of you that are good at English punctuation, sentence structure and all that, as was my poorest subject. I know mine is poor at the best and am thankful you don't mark it up all the time.  In school I managed to do well, but as time went on, I didn't take as much care with it.

Spelling always came to me easily and in 7th grade I had a nun who REALLY gave us a good grounding in English grammar. I do know plenty of smart people who have trouble with both (especially spelling). Our priest, who is working on his Ph.D. dissertation, makes minor errors in his monthly report and I just quietly fix them before forwarding them to the vestry. On a discussion board I will correct something if I quote a person, but that's 'cause I'm a bit OCD about it.

I do blow up when someone posts something on FB meant to persuade me to believe a certain way or buy something from them and there are mistakes in it. It shows they didn't care to have someone review an important message about to be widely posted.

[raeoflyte]

Sept 23, 2022 14:00:03 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

Sept 23, 2022 11:02:18 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Helping is good, but the desire has to come from the hoarder. I can already tell I am going to have to be super cautious as we proceed. Dsis honestly looked at the tracked in drywall dust and the crawl space being opened (because cutting away the bottom 2 feet of drywall around the entire basement) and said this is worse. It's not worse than human sewage! And eventually she acknowledges that, but in her mind - open crawl space affects the animals more than waste on the floor. It's not logical.

This isn't the first time we've intervened. It's really the 3rd house that is essentially being gutted. The sewer backup makes it the worst we've ever dealt with, but it got this bad because of the hoarding issues. She avoided the basement because it was dirty and overwhelming so didn't notice the back up. Then tried to fix it herself because the house is too gross to have a plumber come in which just added days and mess to the disaster.

I'm trying to be hopeful this is a turning point, but also prepare myself that nothing will change.

This got longer and darker than I intended. Sorry. I hope your situation can be easier.

I'm friends with a psychology professor who used to be in private practice.  She told me once that hoarders were by far the hardest clients she ever had to deal with and the recovery rate was incredibly low.  I tell you that not to depress you but perhaps to help you accept the situation.  The best you can do is help your sister when she's in crisis and continue to be loving and supportive.  She's not deliberately choosing to live this way (and I'm sure you know that) so getting angry and distressed won't help her at all.  She's very fortunate to be surrounded by people who love her and take care to make sure she's not humiliated.

No - I appreciate that and I really am trying to go into everything with that mindset. I've detailed her flaws pretty graphically but she is the best auntie and a great sister. This week not withstanding I'm very impressed by everything she's accomplished despite her struggles.

So hope without pressure I guess is what I'm going for. I'd like to be able to set her up for success as much as possible and help her get there if she wants to.

Eta - but maintaining our relationship is most important. We had years of fighting because of the cats which didn't help either of us. I don't want to go down that path again.

[weltschmerz]

I learned to speak English well out of spite.
I was bullied terribly in school because I couldn't speak English. I said to myself, 'As god is my witness, one day I'll speak it better than all of you!'

Now I'm the Grammar Police.

[countrygirl2]

I'm sitting here fighting with my printer. Every once in a while, the thing gets a mind of its own and decides it is not going to print anything no matter what I do.

And on top of that, trying to make me use the cloud, nope, not going there.

[teen persuasion]

Sept 23, 2022 15:42:44 GMT -5 countrygirl2 said:

I'm sitting here fighting with my printer. Every once in a while, the thing gets a mind of its own and decides it is not going to print anything no matter what I do.

And on top of that, trying to make me use the cloud, nope, not going there.

I just had a tech tips email at work last night - it was basically all about how often shutting the misbehaving tech down, and restarting it, helps reset whatever problems you are having.

In particular with printers they recommended shutting it down and then unplugging it for a few minutes.  Static can build up, causing issues.  Restart your computer, too, and even the program you might be using - if email, log out (not just close the tab) and log in again, etc.