what are you doing right now?

[NoNamePerson]

Sept 23, 2022 7:30:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

BF's kids aren't allowed to have Legos. Dad is a pro soccer player and he cannot afford to risk a foot injury stepping on them

That seems a little over the top.  We have gazillions of Legos.  Totes upon totes.  We're talking thousands of dollars worth (and no organization whatsoever ). While I'm sure I stepped on one a time or two over the past couple decades it certainly never resulted in what I would call an "injury" of any magnitude.  Just an ouch and move on.  

   Makes me wonder how controlling this dude is about other stuff. Yeah, I know judging with out knowing person. But my antenna rose about ten feet in the air.    

[wvugurl26]

Sept 22, 2022 14:34:11 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Sept 22, 2022 12:34:04 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

raeoflyte I'm glad your sister was able to ask you for you help. How did you find the cleaning company specializing in that?

Every time I go to my mom's house I cringe. The outside is getting overgrown too. I'm certain it's a combo of hoarding tendencies and not being home a lot. I want to help but I don't know where to start.

I despise the cold. I think my body doesn't regulate temperatures well. Bad circulation or something.

I googled pet hoarding clean up and her zip code. Once she was able to say the h word it made it easier to discuss clean up. Someone at her job had suggested one of the restoration places, but even though they deal with similar stuff, I was worried about people who would make her feel worse than she already does.

I'm starting to panic a bit. It's just such a big job even after the worst of the cleanup is done.

Thank you.

I don't even know where to start but every time I go in that house I think at some point I've got to do something to help.

[wvugurl26]

I'm pretty sure most of those huge super expensive Lego sets are marketed to adults. DH has several space ones. He's got the Saturn V rocket, space shuttle and the international space station.

If our house was bigger he'd have some of the big Harry Potter ones and probably the Death Star.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 23, 2022 7:48:09 GMT -5 daisylu said:

Sept 23, 2022 7:30:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

That seems a little over the top.  We have gazillions of Legos.  Totes upon totes.  We're talking thousands of dollars worth (and no organization whatsoever ). While I'm sure I stepped on one a time or two over the past couple decades it certainly never resulted in what I would call an "injury" of any magnitude.  Just an ouch and move on.  

I imagine ANY small toys or items would carry the same risks. I wonder what else they are not allowed to have. 

Furniture?  My worst foot injuries were from stubbed toes.

[lurkyloo]

So, I think we’ve established that DS is spoiled as all get out 

I am definitely guilty of buying sets for him more because I say ooh, shiny than because he specifically wants them.  That said, DS will actually play quite a bit with the sets, including crushing and mixing builds.  I figure when he gets to the age where he wants money more than legos it can be his job to sort things back into sets and sell them on ebay.

He‘s generally decent about keeping them off the floor, with reminders.  I did step on one last night in his room.  I did not enjoy it 

[minnesotapaintlady]

Sept 23, 2022 7:56:30 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

I'm pretty sure most of those huge super expensive Lego sets are marketed to adults. DH has several space ones. He's got the Saturn V rocket, space shuttle and the international space station.

My older son has all of those as well.  I swear we have so. many.  It's ridiculous.  Those space ones are the only ones left put together.  All the rest are in totes.  Like 20 totes full.  Nothing organized.  My older son used to keep every set put together on shelves going around his room then on a whim decided to tear them all apart when he was maybe 13 and organize the parts by color instead of set.    Carrot was never organized.  He'd put a set together, then two weeks later tear it apart and throw it in a tote with everything else.  The only one he still has put together is the ship in the bottle and some Mandalorian ships. 

I counted over 100 of those instruction books a while back that I have kept in a box so they don't get lost.  I could spend my entire retirement sorting back into kits. 

[lurkyloo]

Also, we are picking up a rental cello tomorrow and I imagine he’s going to want to play with it but lessons don’t start till next week and I’m a woodwind girl with no string experience.  I’m figuring we’re going to just youtube it, but specific suggestions for starter resources are welcome.

[giramomma]

Sept 23, 2022 7:30:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

BF's kids aren't allowed to have Legos. Dad is a pro soccer player and he cannot afford to risk a foot injury stepping on them

That seems a little over the top.  We have gazillions of Legos.  Totes upon totes.  We're talking thousands of dollars worth (and no organization whatsoever ). While I'm sure I stepped on one a time or two over the past couple decades it certainly never resulted in what I would call an "injury" of any magnitude.  Just an ouch and move on.  

Or a simple rule of where the kids can play with them would address the issue.

My kids are able to follow simple rules, like: You can only eat in the kitchen or Playdoh stays in the kitchen.

[giramomma]

Sept 23, 2022 8:06:30 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

So, I think we’ve established that DS is spoiled as all get out 

I am definitely guilty of buying sets for him more because I say ooh, shiny than because he specifically wants them.  That said, DS will actually play quite a bit with the sets, including crushing and mixing builds.  I figure when he gets to the age where he wants money more than legos it can be his job to sort things back into sets and sell them on ebay.

He‘s generally decent about keeping them off the floor, with reminders.  I did step on one last night in his room.  I did not enjoy it 

DS made like $50 flipping an old set of legos he bought at a garage sale.

He's got an amazing eye for that sort of thing.

[giramomma]

I have the diagon alley set.

It's about half done.

The peanut bugs me to let her finish it. I'm like "no." It's mine

[lurkyloo]

Sept 23, 2022 8:19:33 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I have the diagon alley set.

It's about half done.

The peanut bugs me to let her finish it. I'm like "no." It's mine

  Love it.  I really like that set but would also be buying it for myself...and realistically I won’t find time for it.  Clearly I need to rethink my priorities 

[andi9899]

Sept 23, 2022 7:30:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

BF's kids aren't allowed to have Legos. Dad is a pro soccer player and he cannot afford to risk a foot injury stepping on them

That seems a little over the top.  We have gazillions of Legos.  Totes upon totes.  We're talking thousands of dollars worth (and no organization whatsoever ). While I'm sure I stepped on one a time or two over the past couple decades it certainly never resulted in what I would call an "injury" of any magnitude.  Just an ouch and move on.  

Right! If I had a nickel for every time I've slid across the room stepping on a kid toy, I could retire. Then there's tripping over the dog recently. I'm still walking around. I'm not a pro anything but I do pretty ok with athletics.

[Empire the P.A.]

Watching the contractors redoing my sidewalk and driveway. It needed to be done with the old sidewalk buckled and cracked from tree roots. About a 90ft long stretch. 

[swamp]

Sept 22, 2022 21:42:52 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Sept 22, 2022 17:50:30 GMT -5 susana1954 said:

The past few days have not been good ones.

I am co-chair of a church committee that was formed to gather information on the disaffiliation process for our small Methodist church.  I would really call it vice-chair because the chairperson enjoys being large and in charge.  

He did a really good job preparing a brief report for the board members and agreed to prepare an insert for Sunday's bulletin.  As is typical, he sent it to me and the other committee members for "editing."  His exact words in the email to which it was attached were "Please edit, change, shorten, lengthen, laugh at, toss away and rewrite, whatever you need to do."  And, as is typical, I did!

What I did was revert back to the report he prepared for the board, which I felt was better for our audience.  Here's what I sent to him:
OMG.  He wrote back "In all truthfulness, I was disappointed in how brutal you were. I hope I am not that mean in being critical. Don't know why you needed to respond that strongly, because I really don't have the need for it to be mine."  And when I apologized for obviously hurting his feelings, he said, "You did NOT hurt my feelings. Truly, you made me nervous because is this the way you will address others in the church if they send or ask you something you don't agree with.


I am very proud of myself for not responding to this email.  My comment would have been that if I attacked  your writing style, you attacked me as a person."  But I didn't go there.  There is nothing gained by continuing the back-and-forth.  

Sorry for the long email.  It is just I am still not over the exchange.  I had edited emails to the congregation before, much more thoroughly, and obviously didn't realize how sensitive he was.  And I can't talk to anyone about it because I don't want to start something.

Here's where you guys can tell me how brutal my response was.  But notice I said response, not me as a person.

He basically said you weren't nice enough correcting him. It's not what you said but how you said it. Sexist tactic 101. Ignore him. Personally I would not do anything to appease him, including answering an email because he complains he doesn't know if people got it. He can add a delivery receipt if he's so worried about it. If he said anything else about not being nice enough tell him it's 2022, women don't need to apologize for being smart anymore.

This.

He wanted input, and now he's crying about it. 

[swamp]

Sept 23, 2022 2:22:32 GMT -5 finnime said:

Good morning, invisible intellects of Y Ma'am, offering snippets of your lives. Welcome to Friday! Friday! Friday! As in, TGIF. I hope your day is full of promise that you see fulfilled. And I hope your weekend is joyous. As of yesterday, happy autumn equinox, too.

We did finally get a really drenching rain yesterday. It's a bit disconcerting after having a drought to actually need to wear clothes that are weather appropriate. Also yesterday I got all the brakes done on the car. We were down to metal in the rear, which is why the car was making that unearthly racket. The front ones were very low but could have gone a few more weeks. I had them done because we're going to be driving over 1000 miles in a couple of weeks, and while they were at it, it made sense. Because we only have the one car I'm inclined to get everything that will need attention done at one time.

Today I swear I will get the office completely set up. Also, do laundry, return an unneeded cable box to xfinity, write, and hope for the best.

Before I dropped the car off for service and before the deluge, before dawn, Franklin the Dog and I went to the beach.

Franklin the dog looks very similar to my Anna the dog.

What breed is he?  Anna is half golden retriever and half black lab. 

[Deleted]

Sept 23, 2022 7:30:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Makes me wonder how controlling this dude is about other stuff. Yeah, I know judging with out knowing person. But my antenna rose about ten feet in the air.

BF is crazy about his son-in-law jokes that he's a great soccer player but an even better father. The kids are happy, active, athletic (no surprise there; mother is also highly athletic) and have plenty of other toys and books.

It looks to me like they're just extremely risk-averse in that one aspect of the kids' lives. It's how he makes a living so I get it.

I just gave away a chunk of privacy today. CVS sent me a link to the Heartline study for people 65+ to monitor heart health. You need an iPhone 6 or higher (I have one) and you get assigned to a group that uses an Apple watch (loaned for 2 years plus an optional one-year study extension, or bought at a discount) or an iPhone app. As I hoped, I got assigned to the Apple Watch group and just used the supplied code to get a $400 Apple Watch at Best Buy for $80. I did give them access to my Medicare claims data.

I already have a FitBit (which I'll give to BF or sell on e-Bay when the Apple Watch is up and running). Since the leaky heart valve diagnosis I've found it very reassuring to see that my heart rate patterns are consistent. I see my cardiologist annually but I like to know nothing is getting wacky in between visits. I am easily excited by new electronic toys.

[finnime]

Sept 23, 2022 9:01:02 GMT -5 swamp said:

Sept 23, 2022 2:22:32 GMT -5 finnime said:

[]

Franklin the dog looks very similar to my Anna the dog.

What breed is he?  Anna is half golden retriever and half black lab. 

Franklin is an all-American mongrel, black lab + springer spaniel + Walker treeing coonhound. You can't see the hound except in the shape of his eyes. He's got a superb sense of smell and points out game. He's a really chill dog.

[giramomma]

Sept 23, 2022 8:26:58 GMT -5 lurkyloo said:

Sept 23, 2022 8:19:33 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I have the diagon alley set.

It's about half done.

The peanut bugs me to let her finish it. I'm like "no." It's mine

  Love it.  I really like that set but would also be buying it for myself...and realistically I won’t find time for it.  Clearly I need to rethink my priorities 

Meh. Not having time for things hasn't really stopped me.

Now, crap all over our dining room table...that's a thing that would stop me.

[TheOtherMe]

Sept 23, 2022 8:16:17 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Sept 23, 2022 7:30:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

That seems a little over the top.  We have gazillions of Legos.  Totes upon totes.  We're talking thousands of dollars worth (and no organization whatsoever ). While I'm sure I stepped on one a time or two over the past couple decades it certainly never resulted in what I would call an "injury" of any magnitude.  Just an ouch and move on.  

Or a simple rule of where the kids can play with them would address the issue.

My kids are able to follow simple rules, like: You can only eat in the kitchen or Playdoh stays in the kitchen.

Parents stepping on jacks are the reason I was confined to one area of the kitchen floor.  I had to put them away when I got done.  

Simple way for the adults to not step on jacks.

[TheOtherMe]

Got a message last night that one of my favorite cousins is on life support.  He is one month older than my sister.  Don't know why he is on life support, just that he is.  He's the one who seemed to have so much promise when in high school.  Athlete, good grades, big man on campus.

Lived in our basement for one semester while he flunked out of business college because he stayed out all night drinking and playing cards.

His life has been totally downhill from there.  Never held a steady job.  Lives in a crappy efficiency apartment in the dying town of 200.  No car, phone or television.  Have no idea of what he does.  

His dad died during Covid, but not from Covid.  That released his inheritance which would have taken him off any government programs he was on.  

Apparently he worked enough years when younger to draw some SS and has Medicare.

I'm sad to think we are probably going to lose him.  

His parents are buried next to my parents.  There are 4 places in each lot.  His mom said one of their extra spots was for him.  I'm taking one of my parents extra spots, so I guess we will be together for eternity.

He's in bad health overall and his siblings don't think he will make it.

Besides that it's raining today, so I am not trekking around cemeteries.

[anciana]

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin, TheOtherMe

[finnime]

Sorry, TheOtherMe, about your cousin. Hugs.

[daisylu]

So sorry about your cousin, TheOtherMe 

[finnime]

Procrastinating.

That is all.

[raeoflyte]

Sept 23, 2022 7:54:43 GMT -5 wvugurl26 said:

Sept 22, 2022 14:34:11 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

I googled pet hoarding clean up and her zip code. Once she was able to say the h word it made it easier to discuss clean up. Someone at her job had suggested one of the restoration places, but even though they deal with similar stuff, I was worried about people who would make her feel worse than she already does.

I'm starting to panic a bit. It's just such a big job even after the worst of the cleanup is done.

Thank you.

I don't even know where to start but every time I go in that house I think at some point I've got to do something to help.

Helping is good, but the desire has to come from the hoarder. I can already tell I am going to have to be super cautious as we proceed. Dsis honestly looked at the tracked in drywall dust and the crawl space being opened (because cutting away the bottom 2 feet of drywall around the entire basement) and said this is worse. It's not worse than human sewage! And eventually she acknowledges that, but in her mind - open crawl space affects the animals more than waste on the floor. It's not logical.

This isn't the first time we've intervened. It's really the 3rd house that is essentially being gutted. The sewer backup makes it the worst we've ever dealt with, but it got this bad because of the hoarding issues. She avoided the basement because it was dirty and overwhelming so didn't notice the back up. Then tried to fix it herself because the house is too gross to have a plumber come in which just added days and mess to the disaster.

I'm trying to be hopeful this is a turning point, but also prepare myself that nothing will change.

This got longer and darker than I intended. Sorry. I hope your situation can be easier.

[catsareme]

TheOtherMe - So sorry about your cousin. 

[finnime]

I'm sorry to read this, raeoflyte and you, too. wvugurl26. That's got to be very painful, for you and for your family.

There's some sort of real illness born by hoarders, even when it's dangerous or unsanitary. It seems that, like alcoholics, they can deny anything at all. Loving someone with this type of illness can hurt.

[wvugurl26]

I hear you about she has to be willing. I don't know how to offer help so I keep waiting looking for resources. Part of it is selfish on my part because my brother and I inherit her estate 100%. I know that he won't do squat.

It would be nice to find the nativity set my paternal grandma made. I asked for it but she can't find it. When I needed my baptism certificate because I got married in the catholic church that was a huge month long ordeal to find that.

I've talked to my dad and she's always had tendencies back to when they were married. He'd be trying to clean up but that 3 year old stack of magazines was being "saved".

Part of me thinks she just doesn't know where to start and it's easy to ignore at this point in her limited time at home. She's an OR nurse so her shifts are 12+ hours many days. Her husband is much older and retired to a different town/county 3.5 hours away. She's there most weekends to take his prescriptions, food, etc. He moved to a very rural area with limited shopping options.

But maybe it's more of I'm saving that can't get of it than the don't know how or where to start. No one needs an old style TV. Flat screens are plentiful and cheap. My brain gets that she needs to want help/change but emotionally I feel like I have to do something? Because this is progressing to the path through the house stage and nowhere to sit.

[minnesotapaintlady]

My ex-FIL is a hoarder.  Nothing is going to change him.  He's 82 years old and all we can do is hope that he dies before MIL.  She is the only one exercising any kind of control over the situation (the kitchen, LR one bathroom and their bedroom are clear), and she will call people to just start coming to haul crap out after he dies so the kids aren't stuck with it all.

He has sheds full, cars everywhere.  Buses and semi trailers parked on his property just to put crap in.  He even bought a high school from the city once which the kids thought was really cool when they were teens.  Then when they got in their 20's and 30's it was to the point where you couldn't walk through the gym or down the aisles.  Thankfully the county condemned that about 10 years ago and bulldozed it all. 

[lurkyloo]

I am trying to watch two targeted degradation talks at once, so I have the one I can mute on closed caption, which is hilarious.  Uncle protein (oncoprotein), laundry, (??) prescription (transcription) factors, eat two for you picked the Nation (e2 for ubiquitination).  Aqua protein (oncoprotein) How would take you one performing medical bus?  (no idea).

#nerdingout