what are you doing right now?

[NastyWoman]

I still ask my "kids" to let me know when they have safely arrived home from any intercontinental trip and I do the same for them. Used to be any trip but that was too much with all (but esp. my sons') traipsing around.

Of course there was that one time when DS1 attended Gonzaga and his team played Arizona State in the Sweet 16. He and a friend decided to drive down. He called after the were down there and told me about it. So I asked him to call me when he got back and I got the usual grumbling before he promised. So you all probably see where this is going. Two days later I get a call from DS at 5:30am! I kept it cool and said so you made it Back. DS, no we had an accident. Me: ha, ha, very funny. Weeellll... They were in an accident.  His little truck was totalled (flipped multiple times when it hit black ice). Fortunately the truck was the only damage and after seeing photos I must admit that the fact both only had some bruises from the seatbelts was a minor miracle.  

ETA : one of the many, many times over the years I was up for the mother of the year award but that year the award should have been solid gold 

[NoNamePerson]

Aug 15, 2022 14:49:07 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I tend to not be a check-in-er.

I try to do it with DH, to be a considerate spouse. I also try to do it with the older kids, if we have plans and I get derailed.

I don't do it with my parents. It just turns into another way they could control me. I think my mom does worry about my safety, when it's convenient for her, or when she's determined that I owe her contact by x amount of time.

My freshman year in college, my parents tried calling (several times) on a Sunday night. It must have been 8/9 at night.  They determined that the only acceptable place for me to be was in my dorm room at that hour. I was doing laundry and studying. Clearly not picking up the phone. My roommate was getting ticked off, and turned the answering machine off. My parents called me at 6am the following morning, telling me they were going to call the cops on me because I didn't return their phone calls fast enough.

Fast forward 6 weeks or so, I call them to tell them I was safe, because there was a stampede where I was that made national news. Folks were trampled to death. My mom's reaction was "Oh, we were busy coming back from our vacation, we didn't hear about the news." Me "What vacation?" Mom "Oh, didn't I tell you, we decided to take a vacation after we dropped you off at college."

Two weeks after I graduated high school my mother moved to another state. I stayed with friend and her dad and brother got me off to school. I never knew what or where my mother was and she had no clue about my comings and goings. I only went home once over Christmas holidays. So my not checking in with someone was very new to me. 

When I got married I had to remind myself to tell ex I was headed to store, etc. I would actually get to car and realize he was in back of house and didn’t even know I had left the house. I got better while married but reverted back when divorced. I was good about son knowing if I was leaving town, etc. Him not so much   he let me know when he got back. But I don’t have a problem with it now cause they worry about this old lady

[NoNamePerson]

Aug 15, 2022 15:29:51 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

I still ask my "kids" to let me know when they have safely arrived home from any intercontinental trip and I do the same for them. Used to be any trip but that was too much with all (but esp. my sins) traipsing around.

Of course there was that one time when DS1 attended Gonzaga and his team played Arizona State in the Sweet 16. He and a friend decided to drive down. He called after the were down there and told me about it. So I asked him to call me when he got back and I got the usual grumbling before he promised. So you all probably see where this is going. Two days later I get a call from DS at 5:30am! I kept it cool and said so you made it Back. DS, no we had an accident. Me: ha, ha, very funny. Weeellll... They were in an accident.  His little truck was totalled (flipped multiple times when it hit black ice). Fortunately the truck was the only damage and after seeing photos I must admit that the fact both only had some bruises from the seatbelts was a minor miracle.  

Don’t you love the way they minimize stuff. Kiddo had said he would text when he got to Kodiak! Well, turns out he was sitting on plane in Anchorage airport when earthquake hit. His message was “well the plane shook a bit”. 

[zibazinski]

Aug 14, 2022 9:31:28 GMT -5 Ava said:

I thought I would check in after a while.
We put out posters for Dali, put it online, etc. Nothing.
Had a few false alarms. Havent found him.

Im heartbroken.
Until 2 nights ago I was taking sleeping pills but I stopped because I dont want to become dependent on them.

I'm trying to accept reality and to forgive my mom. I'm sorry to say Im full of resentment. I know it was an accident but this is huge.

Yesterday a neighbor brought a kitten that someone had given him but he couldn't keep. He's ( I think it's a boy) will go to the vet tomorrow. 
This one will get microchipped and a collar with my phone number.
I thought Dali was safe here so I kept postponing the microchip and collar. I will never be able to forget myself for that.

This kitten is a sweetheart but the circumstances are terrible. Anyway, he didn't have a home and I will take care of him. I just wish I could be happy instead of in constant tears.
Ill be the happiest pet owner if Dali comes back and I end up with 2 pets. But at this point I have to accept that is highly unlikely.

I had Ava for 17 years, and she would occasionally get out but always came back. I wasnt prepared for this. How could this happen.
It's like living a nightmare.
All I can do is get up every day and take care of my daily tasks one by one, exercise, take breakfast, work, spend time with mom at the end of the day.
Each little thing seems such a huge achievement in this reality I'm living now.
This morning I was trying to change the language on my phone from Spanish to English to answer a coworkers message, and I accidentally ended up in a strange language. Then I couldn't go back to English or Spanish. I had something close to a panic attack.
I finally calmed down enough that I was able to google some words and the language was Vietnamese. So I then googled Settings to Vietnamese, Languages to Vietnamese and I could get an operating phone again. I cried with relief when I was back to it.
Everything seems so weird now. Im completely heartbroken.

Eventually, I will get used to it. It will be an old wound, like the death of my cousin or my aunt Ana. Like Ava's death. An old wound that will always be there, but won't hurt so much.

Did you put the litter box outside?

[countrygirl2]

DD and I got our teeth cleaned. The gal at the desk said I'm on Ozempic now!  
She was so impressed with our weight loss, she said she had to try it. She and her hubs and walking daily. She said only been 3 weeks and she had a hard time getting it. But she is paying $300 a month for it. I hope she does well.

We then went to Fridays and had lunch.  Went to Pennys to look around and bought a pair of Liz Clairborne shorts for $1.17!  It was more than a 50% markdown the sign had stated and then got a $10 coupon off. Still can't believe that price.

Home and hubs ate tamales for dinner. I'm thawing out chicken drumsticks too. I hope to fry them and pour mushroom soup over them either later or tomorrow. Really like those. DD doesn't want anything, so she says. But will likely eat something later.

I had a bowl of ice cream. A huge chef salad for lunch and now ice cream, good balance, LOL!

[daisylu]

Aug 15, 2022 13:43:56 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Aug 14, 2022 23:36:04 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I just can't grasp the sense of entitlement with this kid. She actually has a credit/debit card that she just charges things to in his name. Then when he tells her to use it for a need for her sister, she gets mad at him?! Send her to my house for a week. Wait until she has to do her own laundry and clean the house and make her own money. I also don't put up with disrespect! I'll straighten her out.

Trust me, I can’t grasp it either. It’s actually both of them that have a sense of entitlement, she is just worse than YD. Mister created those monsters though. This morning he finally called it what it is, entitlement.

And to show just how bad it is, OD seems to have blocked him so he can’t call her. On the phone he bought and pays the bill for.

Last week when YD came over after Mister bought her a MacBook to take to college, after she opened it, he asked her to let him play with it. His is a few years old and hers is brand new, a new and improved, even faster version, so he wanted to play with it. She told him no. Go buy you one. Say what?! That would’ve made me want to take it and give her a cheap laptop for school, instead of one that I’m sure cost over $1k.

And this morning, their Mom told Mister she pays OD’s car note out of the child support he pays. AND?! I have a very good idea where that’s going. But nobody talked to him when they bought the car and financed it, so don’t talk to him about it now that child support will be ending soon. They knew that when they bought it. And good grief, he knowingly and willingly overpaid child support for over 2 years, does that not count for ANYTHING?

I try to stay in my lane with things concerning his children, but I do get aggravated about how they treat him and try to use him as a bank. And it is NOT that I care about him spending money on them, it’s how ungrateful they are and the fucked up things they say and do, like he’s a nobody until they want something from him. OD has literally not spent any time with him while she’s been home this summer, and she goes back to school this week. I DON’T LIKE THAT. 

I’m done ranting.

DAFUQ you say? Hell to the no. You block me on the phone I pay for? Guess you don't need a phone anymore. I've cut off my kids data on his phone when he spent too much time in his bedroom not interacting with the family. Phone and credit card would be cut off IMMEDIATELY.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 15, 2022 14:47:05 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

All of the driving around the US and Canada I did this summer, nobody asked me to check in and nobody followed up routinely to see if I made it to my destination.  

On the first trip, when I got hand, foot and mouth disease, and changed the timing, I let the cat sitter know.  He let his mom know and then she called all worried.  Nothing to do but wait it out.  

When I felt better, I just wanted to get home.  

I checked in here more than anywhere because there are people who care here.

FWIW I care.

[cooper88]

Aug 15, 2022 11:12:09 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

We always tell our parents when we are leaving and call when we arrive.

I actually used the "You may have been in a ditch!" on my parents once because they forgot to call and I'd done the math so I knew they should be there. My dad found it amusing.

 I remember when my brother was the last one still at home and he was seventeen or eighteen. My mom went on a date and was home later than expected. My brother was up pacing the floor and said "Do you know how worried I have been. Where were you? Why are you so late?"

He was a lot better about being home on time after that.

[TheOtherMe]

Aug 15, 2022 15:20:42 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Aug 15, 2022 14:56:55 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Part of why I moved to Colorado (one of a million reasons) was to become an adult and that meant not checking in with mom and dad.  

I moved back to their town for two years after I retired and was needing medical care.  To get to the pharmacy at Walmart, I had to drive past their house.  Every single time, there would be a message from mom asking what I was doing at Walmart.  I found a more time consuming way to get there.  I lived too many years without answering to people.

And I moved back to Colorado as soon as I was well enough.

When my ex husband and I spit, my Mom told me I could come back to live with her and just pay for groceries. I was living in my Grandmother’s other house at the time, and after my ex and I broke up, my Grandmother told me to just pay the taxes and insurance on the house, which was less than $500/year.

By then, I was use to being the Queen of my castle, and no way was I giving that up to go live with my Mom if there was any way I could avoid it. ESPECIALLY since she and I had very different ideas about running a household and cleanliness. Plus, at that time, she lived in a 2BR condo, her and my brother who was still a minor. I had 2 children. Idk why she thought me moving with her was better than living in my Grandmother’s other house with just me and my children.

Mom somehow got the idea that because I was sick, I was moving in to their guest room.  No, I got an apartment.  No way could I have lived in that smoke filled house where my parents would know every single thing I did.  

She was also disappointment when I moved back to Colorado because she thought I'd move in to that guest room when they got to where they needed care.  Another no and that didn't happen for another 12 years.

I moved away from that town when I was 9 years old.  I do not like that town.  I will not be living in that town.

[chiver78]

Mom and I butted heads about the smoke filled house when I moved home during college. Dad put his foot down on her throwing me out after I put a password on my computer so she wouldn't park herself at my desk in my bedroom with her ashtray. 🤢

we butted heads about it again when I moved home after putting tenants in my condo because I was travelling all the time. it was winter, my door stayed closed 24/7 and my window was cracked all the time. it wasn't perfect, but it definitely helped.

[chiver78]

I'm about done with today. currently ditting on the deck with an old episode of Frasier streaming on my laptop. Punk is passed out next to me, and LD has been out cold a couple hours now. I'm debating a refill of my cocktail to rally another hour or so. if I go to bed now, I'll be wide awake and ready to go at 4am.

okay wait. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 a car just drove by my house, and it took me a sec to recognize the song. Justin Bieber is the opposite of my jam haha. but this car had all the windows down and looked full, and there was a chorus of female voices singing Baby, Baby, Baby. lyrics....I'm honestly not sure that song's title. but my girlfriends and I used to pull over to the side of the road to actually dance the Macarena in the 90s. so that was a good chuckle haha. I'm still so much over today.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

What I saw today. If you look close you can see the baby Elk by the tree

[chiver78]

Aug 15, 2022 19:38:19 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

What I saw today. If you look close you can see the baby Elk by the tree

I love that ladybug rock!

[busymom]

Just popping in to say thank you for all of your positive thoughts!     I'm working on getting organized for my meeting with the funeral home.  Lots to do, but I've done this before, so at least I don't feel like a newbie trying to get things done.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 15, 2022 22:49:22 GMT -5 busymom said:

Just popping in to say thank you for all of your positive thoughts!     I'm working on getting organized for my meeting with the funeral home.  Lots to do, but I've done this before, so at least I don't feel like a newbie trying to get things done.

Hugs ♡

[weltschmerz]

Another animal dies because people are stupid.  They were told to keep away, but idiots were taking selfies with her. Freya never hurt anyone.

BERLIN - Authorities in Norway have euthanized a walrus that had drawn crowds of spectators in the Oslo Fjord after concluding that it posed a risk to humans.
The 600-kilogram (1,320-pound) female walrus, known affectionately as Freya, became a popular attraction in Norway in recent weeks, despite warnings from officials that people should refrain from getting close and posing for pictures with the massive marine mammal. Freya liked to clamber on small boats, causing damage to them.


www.ctvnews.ca/climate-and-environment/norway-puts-down-freya-the-walrus-that-drew-oslo-crowds-1.6026692

[debthaven]

I’m so sorry for your loss Busymom. You took such good care of him. ❤️

[finnime]

Good morning, invisible allies in the ongoing battle that is life. I hope your Tuesday tenders satisfaction to you and you find healing in your activities.

Me, I'm continuing what I've been doing, unpacking and setting up. Had a great day yesterday with DSis and DH. Got the basement straightened out and ready for use as an auxiliary storage space and went to dine in one of the best restaurants in New England. The weather was perfect and the company was wonderful. Living here is like living on vacation every day.

One thing I must do today is find out WTF has happened with one of my medications. The pharmacy reports that a one-month supply is suddenly over $2,000! And without insurance it would be more than $6,000. Totally bizarre; it is a drug that I've taken for many years, brand name only since it isn't made in this dosage by other companies.

I must also give Franklin the Dog a bath.

ETA: I looked up the medication costs on the insurance web site. It turns out that they really, really, REALLY want this to be purchased by mail order. Through that means the cost is $125 for 90 days of the drug. 30 days at any retail pharmacy is at minimum $2,400. So I'll be calling the prescriber today and get this straightened out.

[Deleted]

Had breakfast in Albania. Now enjoying an early lunch in Montenegro. Dinner will be in Croatia.

Here when you look for license plates from different areas it’s by country! So far we’ve seen Poland, Estonia, Ukraine, Montenegro, Germany, Russia, Latvia, Netherlands and probably a few I’ve forgotten.

[ners]

Morning all.  Need to get moving.  Big meeting at work this morning.  Really need a productive afternoon.

[giramomma]

Wondering what possessed the missy to say yee haw in her sleep this morning.

[daisylu]

We got the building cleaned out yesterday, mostly lawn and garden stuff. Ended up with 2 of my third row seating laid down for the trip to donate. It was packed! And 1 contractors sized bag of trash.

After I dropped off the donations, I ran through Family Dollar and got DS some stuff for his new apartment. After work today, I will pick up a microwave and drop everything off. This will be the first time I will see the apartment, my hopes are VERY low.

[NoNamePerson]

Aug 16, 2022 6:24:30 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Wondering what possessed the missy to say yee haw in her sleep this morning.

 My early morning LOL. 

[catsareme]

Good morning all!  Very foggy this morning and 54 degrees.  Reminds me that fall weather isn't all that far off.

It's going to be a busy day.  The back-up generator is scheduled for its annual preventive maintenance first thing this morning and then we have a long list of errands to run.    

[raeoflyte]

Aug 16, 2022 4:28:03 GMT -5 @athena53 said:

Had breakfast in Albania. Now enjoying an early lunch in Montenegro. Dinner will be in Croatia.

Here when you look for license plates from different areas it’s by country! So far we’ve seen Poland, Estonia, Ukraine, Montenegro, Germany, Russia, Latvia, Netherlands and probably a few I’ve forgotten.

You mentioned the other day you had a "real" fried egg and I've been meaning to ask what you mean? I have an overabundance of fresh eggs still and would love some new ideas.

[Deleted]

Landscaper called to say he couldn't make it today so he'll be here tomorrow. Oh well, I'll hang on to my $$ for an extra day

[Ava]

Aug 15, 2022 15:51:57 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Aug 14, 2022 9:31:28 GMT -5 Ava said:

I thought I would check in after a while.
We put out posters for Dali, put it online, etc. Nothing.
Had a few false alarms. Havent found him.

Im heartbroken.
Until 2 nights ago I was taking sleeping pills but I stopped because I dont want to become dependent on them.

I'm trying to accept reality and to forgive my mom. I'm sorry to say Im full of resentment. I know it was an accident but this is huge.

Yesterday a neighbor brought a kitten that someone had given him but he couldn't keep. He's ( I think it's a boy) will go to the vet tomorrow. 
This one will get microchipped and a collar with my phone number.
I thought Dali was safe here so I kept postponing the microchip and collar. I will never be able to forget myself for that.

This kitten is a sweetheart but the circumstances are terrible. Anyway, he didn't have a home and I will take care of him. I just wish I could be happy instead of in constant tears.
Ill be the happiest pet owner if Dali comes back and I end up with 2 pets. But at this point I have to accept that is highly unlikely.

I had Ava for 17 years, and she would occasionally get out but always came back. I wasnt prepared for this. How could this happen.
It's like living a nightmare.
All I can do is get up every day and take care of my daily tasks one by one, exercise, take breakfast, work, spend time with mom at the end of the day.
Each little thing seems such a huge achievement in this reality I'm living now.
This morning I was trying to change the language on my phone from Spanish to English to answer a coworkers message, and I accidentally ended up in a strange language. Then I couldn't go back to English or Spanish. I had something close to a panic attack.
I finally calmed down enough that I was able to google some words and the language was Vietnamese. So I then googled Settings to Vietnamese, Languages to Vietnamese and I could get an operating phone again. I cried with relief when I was back to it.
Everything seems so weird now. Im completely heartbroken.

Eventually, I will get used to it. It will be an old wound, like the death of my cousin or my aunt Ana. Like Ava's death. An old wound that will always be there, but won't hurt so much.

Did you put the litter box outside?

Yes, we did that for several days. 

[Ava]

We took the kitten to the vet yesterday.
It's a boy in good health.
He got his first set of vaccines and needs to go back in three weeks for the second set.
He also has some parasites in his ears so he got medication for that, which we are putting on him.
We tried to get him an appointment for neutering but the receptionist said they don't do appointments until he has his second set of vaccines.
They are behind with surgeries, so he'll probably get an appointment for November or December, but she said they generally get some cancellations and he'll move up the list.

They are going to microchip him at the same time as neutering.

I am going to Petco on Thursday to get him a collar with a tag with my phone number on it. I have to call ahead and make sure they offer this service.


skeeter I hear you. We'll get him a breakaway collar.

I have to admit I'm not enthusiastic about him at all. I'm numb with pain and grief. I don't have any room left for any other feelings right now.
Of course he's getting very well cared for, but the feelings are not there. 
He purrs and seems happy, and I'm glad he got a good home with me. He's an innocent little thing.
Name is Michi

[Ava]

I wasnt posting too often, but I think I'm going to start hanging in here more.
Whatever stupid thing I say, please give me a pass for a while, because I'm not myself right now.

It's strange, because I have lost loved ones before, fortunately not too many, but this feel way more painful than the other times.

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 16, 2022 10:15:58 GMT -5 Ava said:

I wasnt posting too often, but I think I'm going to start hanging in here more.
Whatever stupid thing I say, please give me a pass for a while, because I'm not myself right now.

It's strange, because I have lost loved ones before, fortunately not too many, but this feel way more painful than the other times.

It's because you don't know what happened to him or if he's alive or dead.  I had an old dog that wandered off and disappeared.  I'm pretty certain he just wandered off to hide and die, as they do that when they get really bad, but the not knowing was awful.