what are you doing right now?

[TheOtherMe]

I managed to survive the time while my sister and her family were away.  I still don't know why she felt the need to tell me that I was on my own.  I'm always on my own.   

The Toddler has out grown the pack and play.  They just spent two weeks in Michigan.  When he got home he told them he was sleeping in his big bed from now on.  It would help if he would lay lengthwise in the bed instead of crossways.  If he doesn't change the way he sleeps, he is going to think his big bed is too small.  It's one of those beds that he will supposedly sleep in until he goes to college.

Can't wait to see how he handles being in a toddler bed and starts wandering the apartment.

[laterbloomer]

My sympathies busymom

[swamp]

Aug 15, 2022 8:50:55 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

I'm enjoying a breakfast of leftovers. a slice of the small banana bread loaf Malarky brought from her bakery, a reheated slice of spinach quiche I made for brunch yesterday for the ladies who crashed here Saturday night, and a glass of wine from the bottle I opened for finnime. my inbox was (and is) a hot mess from taking Friday off. ugh. I'll be supporting another FDA inspection this week for a different CMO, and another lot of product was packaged incorrectly somewhere else and will be rejected. I'd really like to just shut my laptop back down, but that's not going to make the problem go away. 

but, it's beautiful out today. I haven't had to put the AC back on since last week, and the pups and I are all outside. 

I   you. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Gwen gets up early on vacation like me and her grandfather do. We take a walk down the path in front of the cabins.

We tried the hand held humming bird feeder.

Gwen had no luck but they did get really close one almost clipped her ear.

So we know be up by the office by 8am if we want to try again.

[bean29]

Aug 15, 2022 0:23:00 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 14, 2022 21:35:09 GMT -5 bean29 said:

Speaking of budgets, we went to a Quince Party Yesterday and my SIL mentioned her Older Grandaugher’s Mother asked about having one. I told my SIL tell her we don’t believe in Quinceañeras, sends a bad message when girls s/b focused on College. I said this is $$ that could be in a college fund. My SIL then told me her Daughter’s wedding cost $40,000. I told my SIL to tell her Son’s Ex she would collect money from family and put it in a college fund (held by them or her Son). The Mom is not bad, I just think she is thinking her Ex’s family will pay for everything so why not. The only niece/Granddaughter that had a Quince party got PG and dropped out of HS of the other 5 3 finished their BS degrees. Not sure about One of my niece’s-She is in TX, she may have some sort of degree, but I have not seen her in about 20 years. My daughter called a bit ago, and I told her how much A’s wedding cost, then she told me that the food for the wedding (just the food) she just went to in Canada cost $24,000.

My girls never had a Quince. I didn't have the money. Plus, that money would have been better spent on school or a car to get to work or school.

Yeah, The Mom (of my Great Niece) is a nurse, and I think her second Husband is also a Nurse, whatever he does, I think they do ok.  I think she is thinking she can count on my DN's family to Sponsor (ie. Pay for) everything.  The Great Niece does Competitive Dance, and is very very good.  If they start with the Quince route with all her friends also being into dance, it will be just like the one we just attended.  The one for the family we just attended the kids did the Ballet Forklorico type ethnic Dance too.

From what we understand my BIL either paid $3,000 or $3700 or maybe $6000 for stuff for his God Daughter's Quince.  He told us he paid $3,000 - I had the impression that was for the Dress, at the Quince he said he also paid $700 for Big Block letters that Spelled out her Name and XV.  One of my SIL's also claimed that she thought he was also paying for the open bar.  DH said he had paid his brother $1600 for work done at his office, he said he paid what the work was worth, but that his brother was not expecting to get paid for it, he wondered if his brother took it and paid for more Sh!t for the Quince.  He said he never liked the girl's Dad, he think he is a lazy Grifter.  My BIL and SIL have 2 boys, no DD so I think they went overboard for their Goddaughter.

[mollyanna58]

I am very sorry for your loss, busymom

[bean29]

Aug 15, 2022 3:15:58 GMT -5 finnime said:

Good morning, unflagging and engaging invisipeeps of Y Ma'am. I hope your Monday offers you something to delight in and nothing lets the air out of your tires.

Something has conspired to let the air out of one of my Prius's tires, enough to activate the warning light that always looks to me like water. Now I need to figure out which tire and add enough air to bring it up to snuff. Hope it's not a nail. Is it just me, or is anyone else mystified by nails and screws puncturing tires? Why don't they just harmlessly fall over under the pressure of the moving tire? I'd think it would take an exceptional circumstance for the nail to actually damage the steel-belted tire. But no, those things line up just the right way repeatedly.

DSis is coming today to help me do more unpacking. It's a slow process. And DH is taking us out to eat at one of the finest restaurants in New England. Can't wait.

I agree that those warning lights look like water.  I finally figured out it is supposed to look like the tire treads.

Glad your Sis is coming to help you and you have a wonderful dinner to look forward to.  I think I will tell DH maybe he should dangle and offer like that to get our house decluttered.  We have 2 weekends before Labor Day.  We have a Brewers/Cubs game with Friends once weekend and we have a picnic with the same Group on Sept 3rd.  I want my car in the garage sometime in September, so DH needs to get his office furniture moved in to his office soon.

Before the Quince on Saturday I went and got a full face threading.  She must have knicked my cheek, b/c I just noticed a scab on my cheek. This is why I had decided I did not want to get a threading done the same day as an event.  I don't think it was noticeable on Saturday - but today it is.  I of course was going to moisturize and put makeup on, but I forgot.   Her prices are much cheaper than the place closer to my office $15 cheaper, so I waited until Saturday.  

[raeoflyte]

Aug 15, 2022 9:36:26 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I managed to survive the time while my sister and her family were away.  I still don't know why she felt the need to tell me that I was on my own.  I'm always on my own.   

The Toddler has out grown the pack and play.  They just spent two weeks in Michigan.  When he got home he told them he was sleeping in his big bed from now on.  It would help if he would lay lengthwise in the bed instead of crossways.  If he doesn't change the way he sleeps, he is going to think his big bed is too small.  It's one of those beds that he will supposedly sleep in until he goes to college.

Can't wait to see how he handles being in a toddler bed and starts wandering the apartment.

It would be insane if my sister didn't tell me she was going out of town and vice versa. But we never know about sil and her crew. Family is weird.

I texted sil last week to say hi, ask about nephews. She responded and asked how my job was going so I told her I changed companies.... and crickets. She means well, but I am about her lowest priority unless I'm right in front of her. I really try not to get emotionally invested but mostly fail.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Trying to figure out the paperwork of both my Medigap plan and the prescription plan.  

I received 2 envelopes on Sat, just opened them today.  One was for the Medigap plan, it was a copy of the information I filled out.  I'm assuming it was accepted, but there is nothing telling me so.  Previously, I received a phone call from the email I had sent.  They had asked for a copy of my insurance card that shows that I had credible coverage.  My card has TD's name on it - not mine.  I explained this in the email, that all my cards have had his name on them.  I guess no one reads anything.  

The second was the prescription plan who needed a form filled out of my credible coverage.  I sent them the plan/number from my insurance and they came back with a "Final Notice".  I resent the information back to them, this time with a digital copy of the insurance cards, with the information that I was covered under my spouse's employer.  

It doesn't have to be this hard.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We always tell our parents when we are leaving and call when we arrive.

I actually used the "You may have been in a ditch!" on my parents once because they forgot to call and I'd done the math so I knew they should be there. My dad found it amusing.

[chiver78]

and I insist friends text me when they get home, whether they are leaving my house or we're parting ways leaving somewhere else. I got a couple "OK, mom!" comments yesterday, and I think I missed the opportunity to ask finnime to check in when she got home Saturday. but I noticed her check-in later and didn't need to reach out to make sure she'd made it. 

[empress of self-improvement]

Aug 15, 2022 11:18:33 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

and I insist friends text me when they get home, whether they are leaving my house or we're parting ways leaving somewhere else. I got a couple "OK, mom!" comments yesterday, and I think I missed the opportunity to ask finnime to check in when she got home Saturday. but I noticed her check-in later and didn't need to reach out to make sure she'd made it. 

Gee, I wonder who said that😁😇 but thank you again for an awesome night of entertainment between andi and Malarky. I do wish I could have brought the dogs home but Hera's already pissed off at me as it is.

[empress of self-improvement]

Busy, I am so very sorry about your relative🥀

[bean29]

Aug 15, 2022 11:18:33 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

and I insist friends text me when they get home, whether they are leaving my house or we're parting ways leaving somewhere else. I got a couple "OK, mom!" comments yesterday, and I think I missed the opportunity to ask finnime to check in when she got home Saturday. but I noticed her check-in later and didn't need to reach out to make sure she'd made it. 

I am known for doing that to my DD.  I was very embarrassed to note the last time she checked in with me I fell asleep before I read her notification.  If she had not gotten home, I would have been of no use until the next day! 

[NoNamePerson]

Aug 15, 2022 11:18:33 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

and I insist friends text me when they get home, whether they are leaving my house or we're parting ways leaving somewhere else. I got a couple "OK, mom!" comments yesterday, and I think I missed the opportunity to ask finnime to check in when she got home Saturday. but I noticed her check-in later and didn't need to reach out to make sure she'd made it. 

My son and DIL always know when I'm leaving town and they always tell me to let them know when I arrive. Back when my closest friend lived 200 miles away I was on road quiet a bit by myself since she couldn't drive anymore. I always had to wait at least 45 minutes after getting there because if I called when I rolled in I would get a lecture on my lead foot  

I will admit that it took some getting used to checking in but it was my DIL who started it. She is the mother hen of the family but I love her for it. My grown son and I just rolled around with not much checking in and out. Yeah, I didn't get Mother of the Year awards either  

[empress of self-improvement]

I didn't tell my sister until the very last minute and only because I needed her to drop some food for the cat. She still thinks I'm 5.

[Deleted]

These days I get “in trouble” if I forget to let DD know when I get home. She doesn’t just ask me to do it when I’ve been with her, she asks me to do it whenever she knows I’m out by myself. Now DS has started it too.  If I chit chat on the phone with him on my ride home from work, if we get off the phone before I get IN the house, I have to let him know I made it safely.

DD got insistent on it a few years ago because I’m on the expressway a lot and people had started shooting on the expressway. She’s never liked driving on the expressway, and doesn’t, but she worries about me driving on it. So now she “Mothers” me and I have to check in lol.

It’s funny how the tables turn, but I think it’s sweet that they are concerned about my safety.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Aug 15, 2022 11:38:16 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Aug 15, 2022 11:18:33 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

and I insist friends text me when they get home, whether they are leaving my house or we're parting ways leaving somewhere else. I got a couple "OK, mom!" comments yesterday, and I think I missed the opportunity to ask finnime to check in when she got home Saturday. but I noticed her check-in later and didn't need to reach out to make sure she'd made it. 

My son and DIL always know when I'm leaving town and they always tell me to let them know when I arrive. Back when my closest friend lived 200 miles away I was on road quiet a bit by myself since she couldn't drive anymore. I always had to wait at least 45 minutes after getting there because if I called when I rolled in I would get a lecture on my lead foot  

I will admit that it took some getting used to checking in but it was my DIL who started it. She is the mother hen of the family but I love her for it. My grown son and I just rolled around with not much checking in and out. Yeah, I didn't get Mother of the Year awards either  

When I moved out, my mom wanted to know when I was traveling.  She didn't care where or with whom, but just the dates that I was not going to be at home.  For years, I complied with her requests reluctantly.  
Then I went to call her one morning when I KNEW she was supposed to be home.  No answer.  I tried calling her for 48 hours (I was in TX, she NY) and got no answer.  I called the hospitals to see if she or my dad had been admitted (this was pre-cell phones).  Nope.  I called my sister and brother, neither of them knew where they were.

Turned out, she and my dad decided last minute to make a road trip to NYC to see my aunt.  I now understood the reason why she requested why I tell her when I was going to be gone.  I also requested in the future that she tell ME when she leaves.  We worry too!!

[Deleted]

Aug 14, 2022 23:36:04 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 14, 2022 19:24:27 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

He ended up telling OD to give YD the card OD has on one of his accounts, so YD could pay whatever it was. That turned into OD getting bent out of shape because Mister has been getting on her about charging stuff on the card and carrying a balance instead of paying it off. Idk what that had to do with Mister telling her to give YD the card to use for something HE was going to pay off, but that’s what happened.

OD has a car, but YD doesn’t. 

I just can't grasp the sense of entitlement with this kid. She actually has a credit/debit card that she just charges things to in his name. Then when he tells her to use it for a need for her sister, she gets mad at him?! Send her to my house for a week. Wait until she has to do her own laundry and clean the house and make her own money. I also don't put up with disrespect! I'll straighten her out.

Trust me, I can’t grasp it either. It’s actually both of them that have a sense of entitlement, she is just worse than YD. Mister created those monsters though. This morning he finally called it what it is, entitlement.

And to show just how bad it is, OD seems to have blocked him so he can’t call her. On the phone he bought and pays the bill for.

Last week when YD came over after Mister bought her a MacBook to take to college, after she opened it, he asked her to let him play with it. His is a few years old and hers is brand new, a new and improved, even faster version, so he wanted to play with it. She told him no. Go buy you one. Say what?! That would’ve made me want to take it and give her a cheap laptop for school, instead of one that I’m sure cost over $1k.

And this morning, their Mom told Mister she pays OD’s car note out of the child support he pays. AND?! I have a very good idea where that’s going. But nobody talked to him when they bought the car and financed it, so don’t talk to him about it now that child support will be ending soon. They knew that when they bought it. And good grief, he knowingly and willingly overpaid child support for over 2 years, does that not count for ANYTHING?

I try to stay in my lane with things concerning his children, but I do get aggravated about how they treat him and try to use him as a bank. And it is NOT that I care about him spending money on them, it’s how ungrateful they are and the fucked up things they say and do, like he’s a nobody until they want something from him. OD has literally not spent any time with him while she’s been home this summer, and she goes back to school this week. I DON’T LIKE THAT. 

I’m done ranting.

[lurkyloo]

busymom I am sorry for your loss 

[lurkyloo]

Wishing DS would quit bringing colds home and sharing them round     He‘s home from camp, I took the morning work shift which meant rolling out of bed and stumbling downstairs.  Nice perk of WFH, also the ability to mute so no one needs to listen to me coughing or worry about catching it.

Other perk:  painted my nails deep purple, bc I can do things like nail polish now I no longer work in a lab.  Thinking of going all out and wearing open toed shoes next 

(Job is good so far but omg the training.  So. Much. Training.)

[minnesotapaintlady]

Aug 15, 2022 13:43:56 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Last week when YD came over after Mister bought her a MacBook to take to college, after she opened it, he asked her to let him play with it. His is a few years old and hers is brand new, a new and improved, even faster version, so he wanted to play with it. She told him no. Go buy you one. Say what?! That would’ve made me want to take it and give her a cheap laptop for school, instead of one that I’m sure cost over $1k.

Oh hell no.

I would have grabbed it away and say "I just did. You can have my old Macbook. Don't like it?  Buy your own".

[lurkyloo]

Aug 15, 2022 13:43:56 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Aug 14, 2022 23:36:04 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

I just can't grasp the sense of entitlement with this kid. She actually has a credit/debit card that she just charges things to in his name. Then when he tells her to use it for a need for her sister, she gets mad at him?! Send her to my house for a week. Wait until she has to do her own laundry and clean the house and make her own money. I also don't put up with disrespect! I'll straighten her out.

Trust me, I can’t grasp it either. It’s actually both of them that have a sense of entitlement, she is just worse than YD. Mister created those monsters though. This morning he finally called it what it is, entitlement.

And to show just how bad it is, OD seems to have blocked him so he can’t call her. On the phone he bought and pays the bill for.

Last week when YD came over after Mister bought her a MacBook to take to college, after she opened it, he asked her to let him play with it. His is a few years old and hers is brand new, a new and improved, even faster version, so he wanted to play with it. She told him no. Go buy you one. Say what?! That would’ve made me want to take it and give her a cheap laptop for school, instead of one that I’m sure cost over $1k.

And this morning, their Mom told Mister she pays OD’s car note out of the child support he pays. AND?! I have a very good idea where that’s going. But nobody talked to him when they bought the car and financed it, so don’t talk to him about it now that child support will be ending soon. They knew that when they bought it. And good grief, he knowingly and willingly overpaid child support for over 2 years, does that not count for ANYTHING?

I try to stay in my lane with things concerning his children, but I do get aggravated about how they treat him and try to use him as a bank. And it is NOT that I care about him spending money on them, it’s how ungrateful they are and the fucked up things they say and do, like he’s a nobody until they want something from him. OD has literally not spent any time with him while she’s been home this summer, and she goes back to school this week. I DON’T LIKE THAT. 

I’m done ranting.

I’d be having an awfully hard time biting my tongue at that too...as in needing to reattach it 

[TheOtherMe]

Aug 15, 2022 10:33:38 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Aug 15, 2022 9:36:26 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I managed to survive the time while my sister and her family were away.  I still don't know why she felt the need to tell me that I was on my own.  I'm always on my own.   

The Toddler has out grown the pack and play.  They just spent two weeks in Michigan.  When he got home he told them he was sleeping in his big bed from now on.  It would help if he would lay lengthwise in the bed instead of crossways.  If he doesn't change the way he sleeps, he is going to think his big bed is too small.  It's one of those beds that he will supposedly sleep in until he goes to college.

Can't wait to see how he handles being in a toddler bed and starts wandering the apartment.

It would be insane if my sister didn't tell me she was going out of town and vice versa. But we never know about sil and her crew. Family is weird.

I texted sil last week to say hi, ask about nephews. She responded and asked how my job was going so I told her I changed companies.... and crickets. She means well, but I am about her lowest priority unless I'm right in front of her. I really try not to get emotionally invested but mostly fail.

Since we don't need to keep each other informed of our comings and goings because of care of mom and dad, it's been crickets from her on any topic.  

It took every ounce of courage she had to call about dad's will and she always had her husband there for back up.  

She calls to let me know of deaths in the family only if the person who let her know asks.  Otherwise I find out on FB.  

She didn't even let me know when her husband was out of surgery last fall after telling me she would.  She finally responded to a text message and said she forgot to let me know.

She never calls me so I don't know why she felt I needed to be informed.  I am at the bottom of her priority list unless she wants something.  I still haven't figured out what she wanted.

[Deleted]

Aug 15, 2022 14:22:10 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Aug 15, 2022 13:43:56 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Last week when YD came over after Mister bought her a MacBook to take to college, after she opened it, he asked her to let him play with it. His is a few years old and hers is brand new, a new and improved, even faster version, so he wanted to play with it. She told him no. Go buy you one. Say what?! That would’ve made me want to take it and give her a cheap laptop for school, instead of one that I’m sure cost over $1k.

Oh hell no.

I would have grabbed it away and say "I just did. You can have my old Macbook. Don't like it?  Buy your own".

You are preaching to the choir!

Except his is a Pro, and the one he bought her is a step down as far as some specs, even though it’s newer. Me, I would’ve returned it even if I had to pay a restocking fee and just bought her the cheapest laptop I could find that would work for what she needs it to.

But the sentiment is the same, she wouldn’t be taking THAT MacBook to school.

[TheOtherMe]

All of the driving around the US and Canada I did this summer, nobody asked me to check in and nobody followed up routinely to see if I made it to my destination.  

On the first trip, when I got hand, foot and mouth disease, and changed the timing, I let the cat sitter know.  He let his mom know and then she called all worried.  Nothing to do but wait it out.  

When I felt better, I just wanted to get home.  

I checked in here more than anywhere because there are people who care here.

[giramomma]

I tend to not be a check-in-er.

I try to do it with DH, to be a considerate spouse. I also try to do it with the older kids, if we have plans and I get derailed.

I don't do it with my parents. It just turns into another way they could control me. I think my mom does worry about my safety, when it's convenient for her, or when she's determined that I owe her contact by x amount of time.

My freshman year in college, my parents tried calling (several times) on a Sunday night. It must have been 8/9 at night.  They determined that the only acceptable place for me to be was in my dorm room at that hour. I was doing laundry and studying. Clearly not picking up the phone. My roommate was getting ticked off, and turned the answering machine off. My parents called me at 6am the following morning, telling me they were going to call the cops on me because I didn't return their phone calls fast enough.

Fast forward 6 weeks or so, I call them to tell them I was safe, because there was a stampede where I was that made national news. Folks were trampled to death. My mom's reaction was "Oh, we were busy coming back from our vacation, we didn't hear about the news." Me "What vacation?" Mom "Oh, didn't I tell you, we decided to take a vacation after we dropped you off at college."

[TheOtherMe]

Part of why I moved to Colorado (one of a million reasons) was to become an adult and that meant not checking in with mom and dad.  

I moved back to their town for two years after I retired and was needing medical care.  To get to the pharmacy at Walmart, I had to drive past their house.  Every single time, there would be a message from mom asking what I was doing at Walmart.  I found a more time consuming way to get there.  I lived too many years without answering to people.

And I moved back to Colorado as soon as I was well enough.

[azucena]

Aug 15, 2022 14:40:21 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Aug 15, 2022 10:33:38 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

It would be insane if my sister didn't tell me she was going out of town and vice versa. But we never know about sil and her crew. Family is weird.

I texted sil last week to say hi, ask about nephews. She responded and asked how my job was going so I told her I changed companies.... and crickets. She means well, but I am about her lowest priority unless I'm right in front of her. I really try not to get emotionally invested but mostly fail.

Since we don't need to keep each other informed of our comings and goings because of care of mom and dad, it's been crickets from her on any topic.  

It took every ounce of courage she had to call about dad's will and she always had her husband there for back up.  

She calls to let me know of deaths in the family only if the person who let her know asks.  Otherwise I find out on FB.  

She didn't even let me know when her husband was out of surgery last fall after telling me she would.  She finally responded to a text message and said she forgot to let me know.

She never calls me so I don't know why she felt I needed to be informed.  I am at the bottom of her priority list unless she wants something.  I still haven't figured out what she wanted.

Theo - it was probably her passive aggressive way of bragging about her vacation.

[Deleted]

Aug 15, 2022 14:56:55 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

Part of why I moved to Colorado (one of a million reasons) was to become an adult and that meant not checking in with mom and dad.  

I moved back to their town for two years after I retired and was needing medical care.  To get to the pharmacy at Walmart, I had to drive past their house.  Every single time, there would be a message from mom asking what I was doing at Walmart.  I found a more time consuming way to get there.  I lived too many years without answering to people.

And I moved back to Colorado as soon as I was well enough.

When my ex husband and I spit, my Mom told me I could come back to live with her and just pay for groceries. I was living in my Grandmother’s other house at the time, and after my ex and I broke up, my Grandmother told me to just pay the taxes and insurance on the house, which was less than $500/year.

By then, I was use to being the Queen of my castle, and no way was I giving that up to go live with my Mom if there was any way I could avoid it. ESPECIALLY since she and I had very different ideas about running a household and cleanliness. Plus, at that time, she lived in a 2BR condo, her and my brother who was still a minor. I had 2 children. Idk why she thought me moving with her was better than living in my Grandmother’s other house with just me and my children.