what are you doing right now?

[giramomma]

I will say, Dad did get moved eventually. It did take a while, though. And mom did pick out a sharp urn for him.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 10, 2022 18:47:47 GMT -5 MarionTh230 said:

Lurker.  Since waaaaaaaayyyyyyy back in the day.

Wine.
Grief.
Middle age.

All have culminated into me posting on the threads about TIPS and treasuries.  Because I buy those things all the time.  And I hope I helped.  Just because that website that the government uses is dumb and it's not clear sometimes if you're hitting all the right buttons.

Anyways.  Middle age sucks.  I thought I would share that before I go back into lukerdom and stop posting.

I don't know what it is about middle age.  With children.  And married life (or non-married life).  And you have people, but, then people disappear.  Either drifting apart.  Or life getting in the way.  Or, the inevitable death.  And the next thing you know you are over 40 and all of a sudden all this crap has happened and the world thinks you are supposed to be adult enough to handle it all maturely and shiznit.

Middle age sucks.  That's all I really wanted to say.

And hugs to all of you 

Agreed. And as you get older, it rarely gets better. Mostly because you're getting older. 🙄

Nice to meet you. I hope you post more often. 🙂

[andi9899]

Aug 10, 2022 21:38:01 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Aug 10, 2022 21:31:16 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Thanks. I found the beginning of a bruise on my arm. The lips is healing. I'd have to point it out for anyone to notice. Good thing mouth wounds heal fast. I really didn't want to go through airport security looking like I got in a bar fight.

Aha, is that a unconscious slip! Come on spill the real beans!    We won’t judge.   

Honestly, I'd much rather there be an interesting story behind it. I'd prefer telling people that I beat a bitch's ass than tell them I tripped over my dog.

[andi9899]

Aug 10, 2022 21:38:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

The memorial went really well. Church ladies outdid themselves we'll have food for months.

Mom's coworker made cupcakes baking is her coping mechanism. They were AMAZING. Never been to a memorial where people were staking claims on dessert before. I made off with close to a dozen.🤣

I think mom would have liked it. It wasn't traditional but I think I did all right. The people who mattered where there.

I'm sure she especially liked it because you did it yourself. She'd be proud.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 10, 2022 19:02:38 GMT -5 jelloshots4all said:

Hi all,

I have mostly been away from the boards because of work and family.  My dad is slowly making improvements.  He's at home.  Trying to get my son ready for his first year of college.  And 3 months ago I was given a work deadline for next Wednesday.

Well, my newly hired team BEAT that deadline today!!!  So proud of them!  We are the only dept that has achieved our goal/deadline.  I bought them all lunch and shared that fact.  We have been through hell, but the smiles when I shared the news today I hope reinvigorated them.  

Our CEO and President complimented all of us today.  I say WINNING!!

I need to catch up on the boards this weekend.

Hugs!

Congrats! That's fabulous! I'm happy for you. 😊

[toomuchreality]

Aug 10, 2022 19:18:29 GMT -5 MarionTh230 said:

Aug 10, 2022 19:07:03 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

Please don't go back to lurking.  We are a good place to be, to share, to lean, and to learn.  Occasionally we hiss and spit a bit too, but that's part of the process.  Life is a crazy weird journey and I think we all need guides and companions for the trip.

My heart just breaks so much for DramaQ and Giramomma.  I had a parent die in January.  All their discussion about the ashes just hits home.  I wish I had some words that could comfort them, but, I don't.  I'm still not over the grief.  And I don't know when I will be.  I have nothing to offer them that will help. It is just simply heartbreaking.  I read a quote that said, Love Causes a Broken Heart.  Which, sometimes helps me.  But, it's kind of weak really.  I just wish I could somehow scoop them up and snap my fingers and make the grief go away.  But I can't.  Nobody can.  They have such a difficult path ahead.  And I know, because I'm living it.  And it breaks my heart.  I wish they didn't have to go through this.  

So all I can do is lurk and send virtual hugs.  

I'm so sorry!
Big hugs. ♡

[giramomma]

Aug 10, 2022 21:43:03 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

My parents are the opposite. They've prepaid their funerals and bought a vault to keep the ashes in. I told her to get the money for the vault back since we won't be visiting. I informed her (jokingly) that dad is getting spread behind the liquor store and she's going behind the Walgreens she coupons at.

Yeah. My inlaws are completely opposite. They updated their wills, and DH met the lawyers. He's still the one in charge of dealing with all of it. They also made another pass through their stuff.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 10, 2022 21:38:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

The memorial went really well. Church ladies outdid themselves we'll have food for months.

Mom's coworker made cupcakes baking is her coping mechanism. They were AMAZING. Never been to a memorial where people were staking claims on dessert before. I made off with close to a dozen.🤣

I think mom would have liked it. It wasn't traditional but I think I did all right. The people who mattered where there.

I liked your post because it went well, not because of why you were there. I know it all sucks and you probably feel like crap, but you're doing an amazing job, over all. You can be proud of yourself and your family.

May your heart feel peace and you remember the good times.

❤

[busymom]

Aug 10, 2022 21:53:29 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

Aug 10, 2022 21:38:01 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Aha, is that a unconscious slip! Come on spill the real beans!    We won’t judge.   

Honestly, I'd much rather there be an interesting story behind it. I'd prefer telling people that I beat a bitch's ass than tell them I tripped over my dog.

     You can use my Dad's line:  "You should see the other guy"...     I'm sorry about your injuries.  I hope you heal up quickly!  

[countrygirl2]

I have a jealous kitty. I have finally noticed what Tigger is doing. Smokey will be peacefully sleeping beside me while I'm rubbing his tummy, he loves that. Looks at me with what I interpret as loving eyes. But here will come Tig, sometimes jumping on my legs, Smoke takes off. Or sometimes Tig will jump Smoke and fight him. Now if Smoke is laying on the back of the recliner then Tig will either lay across my legs or just touch them. They will both happily lay in their places when like that.

Tig just jumped up and Smoke took off. Then Tig rolls over on his back so I can tummy rub, and pet his head. Hubs says Tiggy is jealous of Smokey. Sure enough down went Tig and Smoke is back, LOL!

They are brothers and I agree with hubs. What a pair, both trying to get as much loving as they can. If they only realized I love both of them.

I really love my cats.

[countrygirl2]

Poor DD, I have fallen many a time but never hit my head or gotten a black eye, both times DD has fallen she has. I worry someone will think we hurt her. She also has been complaining about headaches, I think she needs to go to her primary care doc. Going to make an appointment tomorrow, bet they get her in Friday.

[toomuchreality]

My brother's ashes (he had a heart attack and died, immediately after closing my front door, when he came over.), are in a beautiful box, on my "coffee table".
After I die and am cremated, both of our ashes will be buried in the plot that our parents are buried in.
My parents are buried next to my dad's parents.

Loss is hard. 💔🥀

[jerseygirl]

CG maybe your DD is bored? If she just stays in bed so much. My mom found a young woman who came once a week and brought my DS out to the mall, movies, restaurant, etc. Mom paid this very lovely young woman, she was very kind to my DS
DS enjoyed being with a young person and looked forward to these outings. We could take her out and did but she enjoyed being with a young woman not always mom and sister. br]Is there a music program or any other that she could go to?

[countrygirl2]

She isn't feeling as well as she used to and I don't know how able she is to go. Another reason we didn't go to Washington, she can't wait to get home and get back in bed.  She doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything, though I make her go with me wherever I go to get her out of the house. Her grandmother was the same way, had absolutely no interests. I don't understand it. But then there is little or nothing to do in Indiana. I'm going to start us going back to massages again. 

Since I don't drive at night and its so far to anything, that is another issue. I am finding myself sleeping a lot or reading. Other than work and going out to eat, about it for this area. Oh yeah, we can watch the corn grow.  There are some things in Sept but one is a blues festival in the city and that will be at night. We probably could stay down the main street there at a hotel so I don't have to drive after dark. Her dad wouldn't enjoy anything like that. He just wants to work and go to bed by about 9:30.

When we first came back we went to movies, to the mall to shop, and just out and about. But not driving at night limits you too when the nearest town is 45 miles away. The only place that has much of anything to do is in Indianapolis over 100 miles away. 

And after covid we lost even more, though there wasn't much before.

[giramomma]

I'm playing/petting with my purchases. I should be sleeping.

 I made a spread sheet, as I was curious to see how I really did. So far, I paid $74 for 232 worth of yarn.

Some of the yarn I never would been able to get otherwise.

I'm also seriously going to have to do an inventory and organization of my stash.

[finnime]

My father died shocklingly, abruptly, when he was not quite 61 of a massive heart attack. It was Father's Day, in the morning. I hadn't seen him since the prior Christmas, as I lived over 500 miles away. My DD had a friend sleeping over that morning. The world was moving in surreal slow motion after my BIL called to say that dad had been brought to the hospital, not breathing. My mother died 10 years later almost to the hour. Her death was slow and predictable. Both were buried, not cremated. Now that I live so much closer I can go visit their shared grave regularly.

Death is hard on everyone who is left behind, but it does get better, when you see them in the clouds in the sky and remember the precious days with them, laughing.

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2022 21:38:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

The memorial went really well. Church ladies outdid themselves we'll have food for months.

Mom's coworker made cupcakes baking is her coping mechanism. They were AMAZING. Never been to a memorial where people were staking claims on dessert before. I made off with close to a dozen.🤣

I think mom would have liked it. It wasn't traditional but I think I did all right. The people who mattered where there.

And that's what mattered.     Traditional is nice but it has to be personalized, too.

[finnime]

Good morning, indefatigable invisipeeps, wending your ways through the mysteries of your lives. I hope your Thursday is both invigorating and at the last, restful for you.

I have a thousand things to do today; I lost yesterday to a nagging headache and put everything off that I could. And I could put off virtually everything. So today, I'll be building Billy bookcases in the master bedroom library area, and storage shelving in the basement, then filling the shelves. Also, I'll hang the final shade, in the bathroom, that I'd forgotten to order in the first cohort. I'll make blueberry pancakes. And remember with love my parents.

I've found I do at times re-experience the loss of both dad and mom, but the grief has lessened so much over the years, it no longer fells me. I was a different person, almost 30 years ago when I lost my father and 19 years ago, my mother. I miss them both, acutely sometimes, but life has filled in the vacuum they each left. It does get better.

[mamasita99]

Good morning to you all, big hugs all around to those that need them.
It’s Thursday night for me. I had a successful all staff meeting, with lots of conversations with staff where I sounded like I knew what I was doing. And tomorrow is Friday, so there’s that.

So not two weeks after I joined the gym downstairs, the one that offered all my favorite classes, I got notice it was closing because they couldn’t come to an agreement to renew the lease. I had a feeling the gym wasn’t busy enough. There are still plenty of people who don’t feel up to sweating indoors with others.
So I’m back to my online membership of the classes. They are great videos, it’s just I tend to workout better when someone is leading the class in front of me. But if I do it consistently enough the videos will be effective.

[toomuchreality]

Aug 11, 2022 4:45:00 GMT -5 mamasita99 said:

Good morning to you all, big hugs all around to those that need them.
It’s Thursday night for me. I had a successful all staff meeting, with lots of conversations with staff where I sounded like I knew what I was doing. And tomorrow is Friday, so there’s that.

So not two weeks after I joined the gym downstairs, the one that offered all my favorite classes, I got notice it was closing because they couldn’t come to an agreement to renew the lease. I had a feeling the gym wasn’t busy enough. There are still plenty of people who don’t feel up to sweating indoors with others.
So I’m back to my online membership of the classes. They are great videos, it’s just I tend to workout better when someone is leading the class in front of me. But if I do it consistently enough the videos will be effective.

I'm glad your meeting went well.
Sorry to hear about your gym closing down. That's a bummer.

[daisylu]

WFH while waiting for HVAC guy to install new system. Lord, I hope he shows.

[gs11rmb]

Aug 10, 2022 17:07:18 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

When I came outside and let the umbrella up, there was a big cicada on the underside. Sigh.

Me being me, I grabbed all my stuff and ran inside. 

I got some bug spray hoping it would convince him to leave, but it was on the part of the umbrella closest to the sliding door, and the spray wouldn’t reach. I was trying to spray it from inside the house, with the door open just enough for me to do it, but I needed another hand to close the door if he flew toward it.

So I went and knocked on YD’s door and told her I needed her to help me with something. She said okay and started walking behind me. I said “you didn’t even ask what it was”, she said well what is it. Secretly I thought it was sweet that she agreed without asking.

I explained the situation and told her I just needed her to close the door if it flew that way, so it wouldn’t get in the house. So I leaned out the door to get close enough for the spray to hit it, it flew off, toward the other end of the door, I jumped back in the house, and YD slammed the door shut. Then it flew off, away from the house. I told YD THANK YOU SO MUCH!

She probably thinks I’m a nut because she keeps “saving” me from critters around here. She just doesn’t know, she’s my new best friend and I owe her for saving my life lol.

Read this post and immediately thought of the image below.  @pinkcshmere are you the author of the Dear Mr. Postman note? 

[gracendignity]

Aug 10, 2022 21:38:16 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

The memorial went really well. Church ladies outdid themselves we'll have food for months.

Mom's coworker made cupcakes baking is her coping mechanism. They were AMAZING. Never been to a memorial where people were staking claims on dessert before. I made off with close to a dozen.🤣

I think mom would have liked it. It wasn't traditional but I think I did all right. The people who mattered where there.

Drama, if you are overall happy with the services and think you did all right, then you absolutely DID do all right.  There is no one right way to say good byes to our loved ones.  I hope your heart can begin the slow process of healing and you find your peace.  

[gracendignity]

My parents are the opposite. They've prepaid their funerals and bought a vault to keep the ashes in. I told her to get the money for the vault back since we won't be visiting. I informed her (jokingly) that dad is getting spread behind the liquor store and she's going behind the Walgreens she coupons at.

I have made my wishes very clear to my adult children about my funeral.  Cremation is definitely in the plans and when they ask me what they should do with my ashes, I tell them that since you are supposed to spread them in places that were special to the deceased, then they should visit all the local quilt stores and the big quilt museum and just drop a little in the corners.     They won't, but I'll bet they will talk about it and I hope it makes them laugh a little bit.  lol!

[gracendignity]

MarionTH230, I found these boards back in the days of MSN, too, followed them to this platform, and also lurked for many years.  I finally registered about six years ago but almost never post.  I have probably made more posts in the last week or so than all the other years combined.  

I'm sorry you are having a tough time these days.  Some days it is hard to feel hopeful, isn't it?  As you know, most folks here are kind and will try to help you find your way.  

As others have said, it's nice to "meet" you at last.

[raeoflyte]

Hugs drama. It sounds like a good service. I really prefer the personalized more casual ones that let you feel your feelings together.

[gs11rmb]

Aug 10, 2022 18:05:10 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Aug 10, 2022 18:01:15 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

giramomma

Thanks.

I don't mean to take away anything from what Drama is going through. It's tough.

Your mother sounds very unwell.  I think one of the hardest things to deal with is untreated mental illness because there's no logic or reasoning.  You've mentioned before that she refuses to seek treatment.  Do you think she's even capable of recognizing that something is wrong?  I admire the grace with which you treat your mother.

[Empire the P.A.]

I’m trying to decide if I have enough energy to get myself to Costco. The parking is always a nightmare. Not only is it underground and the design tight in space, there are the crazy NY drivers that fight for every spot. I need to stock up so I guess my butt is getting off the couch and going. 

[raeoflyte]

Dh's last message to me was - saw a bear in camp too close for comfort. Then listed out all his precautions and he's a responsible camper/hiker and an overthinker. A bear is very unlikely to be interested in his campsite, and dh has deterrents as well. So I'm sure he's fine, but he hasn't responded since. Insert angry face. If roles were reversed he would have sent the park rangers in by now.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Aug 11, 2022 8:02:51 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Hugs drama. It sounds like a good service. I really prefer the personalized more casual ones that let you feel your feelings together.

I had a lot of people last night say that to me.  I normally hate visitations and funeral stuff it makes me incredibly uncomfortable.  This was a gathering of people who knew my mom, know me, know dad, know Bob and came out to love and support us.  We could actually take the time to talk and visit without being interrupted by a lot of ceremony.

I feel like the word enjoy is the wrong word to use but I did enjoy it a lot more.  It gave me a lot more comfort than the $5k+ formal trappings ever have.

I got a lot of thank you notes to write.  I told my dad, but he'll probably forget so I'll have to run over there before we leave, he needs to give me the names of everyone who left cards.   Then I need to write thank you notes to all the church ladies.  I know I don't HAVE to, but it's drummed into me and I'll have three ghosts in my house now if I don't. 

There is a paper goods store in Boulder I want to hit, I am hoping they have some really pretty ones.

I think my mom would have been amused by the cupcake turf battle going on.