what are you doing right now?

[weltschmerz]

I recently pared down my own keepsakes even further...found out that 30+ yr books don't keep well. Little house on the prairie set that I read constantly at my aunt's house that were pristine bc she kept them there for me away from my siblings. Totally disintegrated in my hands. I clear taped one back together as a memento but it'll never be readable. Tossed the rest. I guess I'm heartless.

I have a small book from the 1800s...about helping the poor. Alcoholics shouldn't be helped, apparently. Anyway, it's fine, aside from a little yellowing. No disintegration. I have a lot of books that are 30+ years old. No disintegration.
Did they use a different paper back then? Is it due to humidity or something?
I also have an entire set of books on how women should behave, from 1905. Over a hundred years old. No disintegration.

[NastyWoman]

So I have this area where I have been tossing all kinds of paperwork (not money related or other important stuff) whenever I only have 5 minutes notice someone will Come over. I have been using this place  for quite a while now but today I have cleaned it out. 

Now along the style of "you might be a redneck" jokes by Jeff Foxworthy  I can add my own version:

You might need to declutter here more often when you find coupons with a 2004 expiration date 

[TheOtherMe]

That's what used to happen when I clipped coupons.  I didn't end up using most of them anyway.  Don't get the paper and since I live rural, don't get any in the mail.

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2022 12:18:04 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

Aug 10, 2022 12:13:35 GMT -5 azucena said:

FWIW, I've found that if I go to a doctor's appt with a physical list of topics and questions in hand, it makes them slow down and listen to me.  Doesn't work as well if the list is just in my head.

Agreed! And when you write their answers out, they really get attentive.

One thing I do like about the new PCP is she writes stuff on a sticky note that she thinks I need to remember lol.

I usually do well remembering everything I’m concerned about and remembering what was said, but I will try both of these ideas anyway.

I think part of the issue is the way medical groups are run these days and insurance requirements. My old Doctor bucked the system when her group became affiliated with a local hospital system, and they started limiting the Doctors’ time with patients so they can see more patients in a day. My Doctor stayed in trouble because she still took her time with her patients.

Now they seem to prefer to only deal with 1 issue per visit. And if you need paperwork filled out, like for FMLA, you have to make a separate appointment for that. That’s how the new doctor is. 

She’s been a Doctor for 7 years. Maybe some of the older Doctors like mine that retired, who had/have been practicing for decades, aren’t as quick to conform to the new standards where they churn through patients, only spending a few minutes with each one. I don’t know that for a fact, I’m just guessing.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Picking up mom's ashes is by far one of the most surreal moments of my life.

And I will add that hearing the mortician sneeze in the back room while preparing the ashes was both disconcerting and hysterical.

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2022 14:19:21 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

I recently pared down my own keepsakes even further...found out that 30+ yr books don't keep well. Little house on the prairie set that I read constantly at my aunt's house that were pristine bc she kept them there for me away from my siblings. Totally disintegrated in my hands. I clear taped one back together as a memento but it'll never be readable. Tossed the rest. I guess I'm heartless.

I have a small book from the 1800s...about helping the poor. Alcoholics shouldn't be helped, apparently. Anyway, it's fine, aside from a little yellowing. No disintegration. I have a lot of books that are 30+ years old. No disintegration.
Did they use a different paper back then? Is it due to humidity or something?
I also have an entire set of books on how women should behave, from 1905. Over a hundred years old. No disintegration.

I have books from when I was in high school. I also still have the book I wrote when I was in 2nd grade. It was a class assignment, and my book has a hard cover with a pattern, complete with a picture I drew. I don’t know how I managed to keep up with it as a child, through moves and everything. But as an adult I’ve always been glad I did. I don’t even remember my 2nd grade teacher’s name, but I’m glad that was one of her assignments.

A few years ago I wanted to show it to Mister and I started crying because I couldn’t find it. But I eventually found it and all was well again.

[skeeter]

Aug 10, 2022 16:07:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Picking up mom's ashes is by far one of the most surreal moments of my life.

And I will add that hearing the mortician sneeze in the back room while preparing the ashes is both disconcerting and hysterical.

Deep breaths, LOTS of deep breaths! 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Aug 10, 2022 16:29:56 GMT -5 skeeter said:

Aug 10, 2022 16:07:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Picking up mom's ashes is by far one of the most surreal moments of my life.

And I will add that hearing the mortician sneeze in the back room while preparing the ashes is both disconcerting and hysterical.

Deep breaths, LOTS of deep breaths! 

We had a pretty good laugh at the sneeze. Of all the times for someone to need to sneeze!

Figuring out how to divide a portion for me and Bob was weird. It came in what looks like a little compost box.

I put some into a baggie and rooted around downstairs for a container. Put that up by the safe it's coming with me to Colorado.

Bob can have the rest for the eco urn and to scatter.

They filled my necklace. I put it on and I'm surprised at how more peaceful I feel. I don't plan on taking it off unless nesscerary.

[raeoflyte]

Props to new company - there's a lengthy covid 19 training about why vaccines, masks, and ya know...science are legit. But gawd I want to be done with training.

[skeeter]

Taking mom to Colorado with you NomoreDramaQ1015 has got to be one of the best, moving, loving, and sentimental gestures I have ever heard.

[Deleted]

When I came outside and let the umbrella up, there was a big cicada on the underside. Sigh.

Me being me, I grabbed all my stuff and ran inside. 

I got some bug spray hoping it would convince him to leave, but it was on the part of the umbrella closest to the sliding door, and the spray wouldn’t reach. I was trying to spray it from inside the house, with the door open just enough for me to do it, but I needed another hand to close the door if he flew toward it.

So I went and knocked on YD’s door and told her I needed her to help me with something. She said okay and started walking behind me. I said “you didn’t even ask what it was”, she said well what is it. Secretly I thought it was sweet that she agreed without asking.

I explained the situation and told her I just needed her to close the door if it flew that way, so it wouldn’t get in the house. So I leaned out the door to get close enough for the spray to hit it, it flew off, toward the other end of the door, I jumped back in the house, and YD slammed the door shut. Then it flew off, away from the house. I told YD THANK YOU SO MUCH!

She probably thinks I’m a nut because she keeps “saving” me from critters around here. She just doesn’t know, she’s my new best friend and I owe her for saving my life lol.

[giramomma]

Aug 10, 2022 16:07:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Picking up mom's ashes is by far one of the most surreal moments of my life.

And I will add that hearing the mortician sneeze in the back room while preparing the ashes is both disconcerting and hysterical.

Big hugs.

My mom picked dad up by herself. I was willing to go with her, but she decided to get him.

Dad was on the floor, in a bag for a long time. I don't know if he's out now.

[skeeter]

Aug 10, 2022 17:12:16 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Aug 10, 2022 16:07:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Picking up mom's ashes is by far one of the most surreal moments of my life.

And I will add that hearing the mortician sneeze in the back room while preparing the ashes is both disconcerting and hysterical.

Big hugs.

My mom picked dad up by herself. I was willing to go with her, but she decided to get him.

Dad was on the floor, in a bag for a long time. I don't know if he's out now.

There is something incredibly sad and disheartening about that.

[stillmovingforward]

I have informed all my kids that they only have 6 months to toss me over a cliff in the mountains.

[Empire the P.A.]

My mom has my dad’s ashes in the china cabinet with his portrait in the center position. 

[giramomma]

Aug 10, 2022 17:15:06 GMT -5 skeeter said:

Aug 10, 2022 17:12:16 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Big hugs.

My mom picked dad up by herself. I was willing to go with her, but she decided to get him.

Dad was on the floor, in a bag for a long time. I don't know if he's out now.

There is something incredibly sad and disheartening about that.

Yes, especially since he was in a plastic box for a while, on top of it.

Mom wasn't ready to make any urn decisions when dad died. Which was fine. No sense in trying to push her. She also wouldn't let me make decisions.

My parents did 0 pre-planning in 10 years.. Even as dad's body started failing, my mom was still clinging to the hope that the next chemo drug they gave dad would cure him.

This is also how my mom operates. Better to control everything so that it fits into her narrative then to let others in. I mean. We didn't have a funeral or anything. I think there would have been some people that would have come and paid their respects, and maybe even supported me.  But, she never gave anyone the chance. So, she ensured that she grieved alone by shutting everyone out. It's the only way to make her narrative that she's alone work. By shutting others out, she also ensured that I didn't get any of my needs met. Which, of course never mattered. Which also fits right into her narrative.

If she says she's alone, but she has a funeral and people show up..she's got concrete proof she's not alone. If people show up to support me, then she's got concrete proof that it's just not about her. Thus, her narrative no longer works, and that causes too much cognitive dissonance..

Taking control, to the point of keeping dad on the floor. That's what is needed to keep her familiar systems going.                                               

[Deleted]

giramomma

[giramomma]

Aug 10, 2022 18:01:15 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

giramomma

Thanks.

I don't mean to take away anything from what Drama is going through. It's tough.

[NastyWoman]

Way back in January when I returned from Europe I miss-placed my phone and someone here provided a website where you can go in and call your phone number. It worked wonderfully. But did I write that site down like a smart person would have done? No... And guess who lost her phone again with the website gone with those almost 5000 pages we lost.

Would someone please be so kind and provide that address again. Thank you and I promise  I WILL write it down this time 

[cooper88]

My mom's ashes are on top of my china cabinet. She has two dogs and a cat to keep her company, but she has the place of honor. All we knew was she wanted to be cremated, but she would never say what to do with the ashes. It's been ten years and we still haven't decided, although before she got sick she did plan on moving out west at retirement. I did end up moving out west so she's with me.

[finnime]

Big hugs, giramomma.

[CCL]

Aug 10, 2022 18:25:30 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Way back in January when I returned from Europe I miss-placed my phone and someone here provided a website where you can go in and call your phone number. It worked wonderfully. But did I write that site down like a smart person would have done? No... And guess who lost her phone again with the website gone with those almost 5000 pages we lost.

Would someone please be so kind and provide that address again. Thank you and I promise  I WILL write it down this time 

I use Google Find My Device.

[busymom]

Aug 10, 2022 16:07:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Picking up mom's ashes is by far one of the most surreal moments of my life.

And I will add that hearing the mortician sneeze in the back room while preparing the ashes was both disconcerting and hysterical.

     Heavy little suckers, aren't they?  I remember having to pick up my Mom's urn to rearrange flowers at the front of the church before her funeral, and MAN, that was heavy!      <HUGS> to you!

[Deleted]

Last night I got into it big with my best friend over something she drafted for the community newsletter. In the past, I've just walked away but last night I simply couldn't do that, so I blazed away with both barrels. We texted until 10:30 when I shut it down for bedtime. Breakfast was late (DH was very understanding about that) because I decided to write a possible replacement version, as did the other person included in the email chain. A blend of our kinder, gentler versions will be used and we can all remain in relationship.

Today I got replacement aerators for the kitchen faucet, another day in the story of an old house.

We might get rain tonight but I'm not counting on it because the storms are hit and miss.

We had a weird traffic jam in the neighborhood because the power company was trying to replace poles and transformers while the contractor was replacing sewer lines while the city was repairing broken water pipes and trying to collect junk waste like old furniture. Our streets are barely wide enough for two passenger vehicles to pass, much less bucket trucks, trucks, flatbed trailers, earth moving equipment. It was very interesting for a bit

[skeeter]

Aug 10, 2022 18:05:10 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Aug 10, 2022 18:01:15 GMT -5 soupandstew said:

giramomma

Thanks.

I don't mean to take away anything from what Drama is going through. It's tough.

Hope this comes across the way it is intended.......

Personally, I don't think you're taking anything away from NomoreDramaQ1015 and that she understands you are also grieving a gigantic loss.  To me, it's the "who cares about that kind of crap" posts right now that are disrespectful to both of you and the other posters that have lost loved ones.  Sure, some of them do help take your mind off of what's happening in your own lives, but others are just .

Both of you ladies have been/still are going through hell and I honestly don't know how you manage to still keep it together.  My admiration for you both (and some others) cannot be measured in words or anything else.   

[jerseygirl]

Aug 10, 2022 18:33:28 GMT -5 busymom said:

Aug 10, 2022 16:07:55 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

Picking up mom's ashes is by far one of the most surreal moments of my life.

And I will add that hearing the mortician sneeze in the back room while preparing the ashes was both disconcerting and hysterical.

     Heavy little suckers, aren't they?  I remember having to pick up my Mom's urn to rearrange flowers at the front of the church before her funeral, and MAN, that was heavy!      <HUGS> to you!

DIL has ashes of one of her horses in a wood box. Must be 20 lbs

[Deleted]

Aug 10, 2022 18:26:48 GMT -5 cooper88 said:

My mom's ashes are on top of my china cabinet. She has two dogs and a cat to keep her company, but she has the place of honor. All we knew was she wanted to be cremated, but she would never say what to do with the ashes. It's been ten years and we still haven't decided, although before she got sick she did plan on moving out west at retirement. I did end up moving out west so she's with me.

My Aunt confided in me a few years ago that she’d really prefer to be cremated. None of my close family members have been cremated. My Aunt said she felt like her daughters would prefer she be buried, and she said she would talk to them about it. 

When the time comes, if I’m still here, I will share with my cousins the conversation with my Aunt about her preference, in case she never got around to discussing it with them like she planned to, and then I will respect and support whatever they choose.

[MarionTh230]

Lurker.  Since waaaaaaaayyyyyyy back in the day.

Wine.
Grief.
Middle age.

All have culminated into me posting on the threads about TIPS and treasuries.  Because I buy those things all the time.  And I hope I helped.  Just because that website that the government uses is dumb and it's not clear sometimes if you're hitting all the right buttons.

Anyways.  Middle age sucks.  I thought I would share that before I go back into lukerdom and stop posting.

I don't know what it is about middle age.  With children.  And married life (or non-married life).  And you have people, but, then people disappear.  Either drifting apart.  Or life getting in the way.  Or, the inevitable death.  And the next thing you know you are over 40 and all of a sudden all this crap has happened and the world thinks you are supposed to be adult enough to handle it all maturely and shiznit.

Middle age sucks.  That's all I really wanted to say.

And hugs to all of you 

[NastyWoman]

Aug 10, 2022 18:32:28 GMT -5 CCL said:

Aug 10, 2022 18:25:30 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Way back in January when I returned from Europe I miss-placed my phone and someone here provided a website where you can go in and call your phone number. It worked wonderfully. But did I write that site down like a smart person would have done? No... And guess who lost her phone again with the website gone with those almost 5000 pages we lost.

Would someone please be so kind and provide that address again. Thank you and I promise  I WILL write it down this time  [img class="smile" alt="" src="//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/embarrassed.png"]

I use Google Find My Device.

Thanks. I found my phone and bookmarked the site 

[skeeter]

If you think middle age sucks MarionTh230, just wait till you become a "senior citizen".